[unsilencedmusic]

unsilencedmusic: independent and selective, canon divergent Missy/The Mistress/The Master of Doctor Who with Carice van Houten as the face claim, side-blog written and loved by Lins.

a study in: femininity, sexism, whimsy, neurodivergence, war trauma, reconnecting with a friend, survival, attempted rehabilitation, and self-sabotage.

note: i do not condone Michelle Gomez's choices, I am very anti-jkr & hp

(graphics cred)

[doctorxoncall]

@unsilencedmusic said: "I'm serious about marriage, even if it technically wouldn’t be legal and require a few forged documents."

"You may be serious about it, but I'm not. No offense to you, well no, all offense. I've been there done that and I'll prefer not to do it again. It didn't exactly work out well the first time around, did it?"

[unsilencedmusic]

"Mm, was it really all that bad?" Missy checked the ends of her hair, disinterest overtaking the pout that appeared. "And don't worry, I'm not the least bit offended"

Forever a part of a game of cat and mouse, it's a curse they'd never break from for long.

[reverdies]

“Missy.” The Doctor nodded. Even now names felt like rather a revelation, but there wasn't time to dwell on it. Every glance down the corridor only made that more apparent.

The contact surprised him— perhaps because he usually instigated, at least with strangers. Well, he supposed Missy didn't quite qualify now he knew her name… before he tried to dwell on that, he was being drawn along like a Labrador on a lead and nearly as biddable. At this point it was the best option anyway.

He couldn’t resist flashing a grin in return; this was exciting. (And don’t forget dangerous—) “I’m sure it’ll come to us along the way,” he answered with more confidence than the circumstances warranted. “Running’s very good for the brain, or so I’ve heard.” And hopefully something, anything, would turn up along the way and reveal the path forward.

[unsilencedmusic]

Meeting the Doctor there had been pure coincidence, but as she ran with him down the corridor, it brought back memories of their time together at the Academy. Of times they'd run away from everyone else and find their way to the banks of the river, plan their future of leaving Gallifrey and seeing the stars.

However, being chased was a whole lot more fun than making plans. And she had a feeling the Doctor agreed, as it was; exhilaration always did wonders for both of them.

"Never personally been able to figure it out, but yes, it's what I've heard as well." Missy glanced at him, it may have also been an excuse one of them used at the Academy. "Now, what did you do that caught the attention of those soldiers that they're after you?" She herself had been searching for a part for her TARDIS; this happened to be one of the nearest places that would have what she needed.

[wibblyrlin]

FLORENCE + THE MACHINE One of the Greats (2025)

[anneboleyns]

[capaciityforpain]

For this moment, this smallest moment in the eons that they had existed, in which the world, galaxy, universe had existed, he felt something...not relaxing, but still. He felt that the storm that swirled constantly within him still, even if only for a moment. He was so angry with them, with the Time Lords, but in this moment, her hand in his, they were still. They were safe. It was true, yes, that they never let go, that even now their mark stained them, but in this moment they were more than that.

"But maybe they can't reach us here."

They could hold onto them, yes, which they had, and they always would, but their grip was lessened. They couldn't find them here. (Which wasn't true, of course, but right now, it felt like it was.) But even then, what did it mean for the scars that remained? The scars that she said she didn't know how to live without? The scars that he himself didn't know how to live without? What was the point of safety from further damage if the damage that remained was so terrible? He didn't know. He was supposed, to, though. That was his job.

But what was his job without them? What was he without them? And her? They would never know. He nodded to her, thick eyebrows furrowed, saddened and thoughtful. He did understand. Not as well as she did, he was sure, because she had been scarred so terribly, but he had seen what had happened to her. "I think...sometimes we just have to learn how to live with our trauma." Such an unlike him word. Trauma. "Sometimes there is no living without it." Another pause. "Maybe that helps. Maybe not."

[unsilencedmusic]

But they could, if they wanted to.

The Doctor's reassurance, his hopefulness of the chances to have a sliver a freedom from the Time Lords inside those walls, weren't false despite the thoughts rapidly passing through her brain. He was trying to be a good friend, partner, whatever it was they hadn't labeled.

More reason for the Time Lords to want to use one against the other — their bonds had gotten deeper while still unchanged, overtly complicated as always. Confusion could be created if her and the Doctor didn't hold fast to what they had. She didn't want it torn away. She hated them. She hated being the monster the Time Lords created while they got to metaphorically keep their hands clean. Because she knew full well how dirty they really were.

She scrubbed the back of her hand over her eyes, mascara smearing across her lid and hand. Trauma? The word felt wrong when applied to her. She knew the meaning, most everyone did in some capacity. But… trauma. Is that really what it was?

As tears welled up, Missy looked toward the vault's high ceiling. She spent hours upon hours looking at it when left to her own devices, but struggled to focus it on it now.

"Can't tell you, either way it's exhausting. How do people live with this feeling?" Is this why humans talked about wanting to sleep weeks at a time? "How have I lived with this feeling. I didn't feel this way when I was skeletor."

[bitofanexile]

@unsilencedmusic said: don't get mad if i fall asleep on you.

He didn't mind the closeness, in fact he missed it. His current version seemed to be elsewhere and even when he was around it was their usual fighting. They may have had a few moments but now those were few and far between. "Well, if you're here I can keep an eye on you."

[unsilencedmusic]

"You wanting to keep an eye on me never changes, it seems," Missy grumbled, eyes half-closed and pouting. "I think you'd keep me locked away if you had the opportunity."

The thought alone made her scrunch her nose. Handing over that kind of control over to him — no, she refused to think about it. She already freed herself from the high council, she didn't need herself kept away like some old wife locked in an attic. And especially not for the Doctor. 

"Promise you won't do it while I sleep?" 

[unsilencedmusic]

what form of love do you embody?

love as violence

[ love as bloodshed, crimson as a knife slipped between your ribs ] when ocean vuong said "to arrive at love, then, is to arrive through obliteration" and when franz kafka said "you are the knife i turn inside myself; that is love" and when ada limon said "how do you love? like a fist. like a knife" and when richard siken said "sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine"

tagged by: @doctorxoncall

tagging: anyone who wants it <3

[doctorxoncall]

@unsilencedmusic said: "If that one colleague of yours asks you how our kids are doing, I told her we had five and they're all named after constellations," Missy told the Doctor as she flipped through a magazine. He was probably going to take away her enrichment ventures if this was what happened when he left her alone to use the restroom. But she was having so much fun.

"Have you lost your mind? You can't just go around telling people things like that. People will start asking questions. And when they start asking questions they get curious. We can't have people finding out about the vault. Besides that, I like to keep an air of mystery, you're ruining it telling people I'm married with kids."

[unsilencedmusic]

"I've been mad for quite some time, Doctor," Missy reminded, focusing in on the desserts presented in the magazine. They looked fake, like they might've been constructed out of clay then taken a picture of under the assumption they were real cupcakes and pies. How tricky of them. "And besides, do we really look like a couple with five children? I know we fuck enough to make that many and more, but do you think any of your colleagues would actually believe this? Well, married, yes, because you — we are — remember, still not divorced, but children?"

[calirph]

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐍 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐍 as 𝐋𝐀𝐃𝐘 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈

Melisandre at Dragonstone. GAME OF THRONES S07E03.

[likeacharacterinamusical]

"Mmm," the Doctor hummed softly. Home oftentimes felt like a fever dream, like something she'd imagined once and never again, and yet she longed for it with a deep-seated sorrow.

"My employers," she spat the word, "use me as cannon fodder more often than not. Keep me in the dark, as well. I don't..."

She wiped at her eyes again and sank down in her seat. "They'll send me places, tell me such and such species will prove a threat further on in their timeline, and order me to get rid of them; often, when I get home I remember nothing of what I'd just done."

[unsilencedmusic]

She moved her hand from the Doctor's face, letting it fall to her lap.

Missy couldn't help but be reminded of certain events in her own timeline by that description. If these were the same people she was thinking of, it seemed that some never truly changed--only expanded the reach of their actions.

It was strange that they erased the Doctor's memories. Wouldn't better control involve making her keep those memories, forcing her to relive the crimes, and then offering relief as a reward, only to never provide it?

"So, they use you to keep their secrets? No one knowing it's really them behind the actions they force you to commit at their behest."

[capaciityforpain]

It wasn't that he disliked learning. He was brilliant and adored digging out every bit of information that he could, but the things that the Academy attempted to teach him were simply not interesting to him. He knew the laws of time inside and out, but they were terribly boring. He preferred to learn through experience. Perhaps that had been part of why he'd run away.

"Less interesting, too. The creatures have a remarkable way of eating." Remarkable, and horrible, but beautiful in that horror. "Of course it's creepy. The sun shouldn't have a human face. Especially not a baby's." On that, he felt strongly. He didn't know why she didn't. "Tinky-Winky? That can't be right."

[unsilencedmusic]

"Have you spent time watching snakes eat, Doctor?" Her eyes twinkled as she gave him a smile. She couldn't imagine him spending too much on those things — although he might be easily fascinated about one time experiences. Paying close attention to what was bestowed on him by the universe. "Considered getting a little garden snake once, but realised it the TARDIS wouldn't be happy if it happened to get out of its enclosure."

She stretched her arms above her head, fingers lacing as she lowered them to her lap.

"It's really not creepy." Missy shook her head. "And yes... Tinky-Winky. There really is a character named that, they're the purple one. All the others' names are fairly normal, that's why theirs is weirder"

[bitofanexile]

@unsilencedmusic said: "Let’s stay like this a little longer."

His arm was draped around her, his finger tips idly rubbing her back in circle motion. "You know, if I tell anyone you've always been quite the cuddle bug they wouldn't believe me."

[unsilencedmusic]

Her cheek rested against his chest, looking at him with tenderness. "An evil mastermind doesn't often conjure images of being a cuddle bug, some might think you've lost it. Or are lying. Jokes on them, I am one of the cuddliest bugs."

[reblogthings]

The first 5 Asks to send 💋 get a kiss

[nic0las-uncaged]

will you wash my hair for me will you dry me off gently and tuck me into bed

[valtsv]

well personally me and my soulmate use our red string of fate to trip people over but i guess finding love is cool too

[capaciityforpain]

Should he have looked closer at the books he brought? Of course. But also, maybe he was in the same mindset. It was just a book, and while it could make her think anything, could bring her any number of grand ideas, the materials themselves that he brought were always under strict control, and taking that much care over what she read felt like a step too far.

He nodded, making a mental note. Books about caring for cats. He'd see what he could do, see what he could find. If this was something she was serious about, he wanted her to know what she was doing just as much as she did. He didn't want anything to go wrong because he hadn't given her enough information. "I'll find something." He wasn't trying to stall, either. He just wanted to make sure she was fully prepared.

"Read. Make a list. We'll make it look nice in here, and then we can go." In this place specifically, he thought it would be best to get fully prepared first, but then, then they would get a cat.

[unsilencedmusic]

Her smile fell. It felt as though that was a convenient way for him to stall, intentional or not. So, she'd have to put in additional work after all. Surely she could read through the books quickly to collect necessary information, but it relied on him giving her the books, and Missy didn't know how long it'd take for him to find those. Or if he'd get distracted.

"I'll find the pack of glittery gel pens you got me," Missy said, at least that will make it more fun. "Think you can get those books to me before the end of the day?"

She pouted, hopeful it will convince him to not be a slow-poke. Patience was not her forte, not here when it came to this.

"Are you going to read them to make sure I know everything?" He may not be in direct contact with the cat as much, but he should know, too.