Receipts for Patton’s Toxic Behavior
THIS IS NOT A DISCOURSE POST AND I WON’T ANSWER DISCOURSE REBLOGGED HERE. THIS WAS MADE FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. IF YOU’D LIKE TO DISCUSS IT WITH ME YOU CAN MESSAGE ME.
I’ve gotten people asking me how Patton has shown toxic behavior in the series so I decided to rewatch the series and collect receipts. Enjoy.
Because this whole discourse started after SvS, that’s the episode I’ll be starting with (coupled with DWIT). However, after that, they will be in chronological order.
These behaviors have repeating evidence, so I just grouped the evidence together under (or rather, above) the topic to save a little space. Each new point (or receipt, I suppose) will be preceded by ⭐)
Selfishness VS Selflessness & Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts
⭐ (SVS; 2:11) T: “The callback date is inflexible.”
P: *sigh* “Same as the wedding date.”
T (unenthusiastically): “Yeah.”
P: “And Lee and Mary Lee really want you to be there.”
T (unenthusiastically): “Yeah.”
P: “And they’ve always been there for you when you needed them.”
T(unenthusiastically): “Yeah.”
P: *sigh* “And you were really excited to go, too.”
T (hesitantly): “Yeah.”
This kind of dialogue is very common in abusive and manipulative relationships. Am I saying Patton is abusive? No. Toxic behavior and abusive behavior are two different things; abusiveness has intent, toxicity has ignorance.
Anyways, during this exchange, Thomas isn’t even trying to argue with Patton about going to the callback yet, and neither is Roman. All they did was tell Patton the date, and what is his go-to reaction? Guilt-tripping.
Guilt-tripping is a tactic used by many abusers to goad the abused into agreeing with them and/or doing what they want. It uses a specific manner of speaking, nitpicking at the things that are important to the abused (read: Thomas’ friendships) and playing to their weaknesses (read: not wanting to be seen as a bad friend. This point is further explored later in the post for another video). He’s actively, albeit subconsciously, guilting Thomas into agreeing with him to go to the wedding without question.
⭐ (SVS; 7:22) P: “And Roman, I thought you fought for honor! Why are you pushing Thomas to be dishonest?”
Here, Patton attacks Roman’s very character while guilt-tripping him. I’ll save post space by sparing the lengthy analysis of a behavior I’ve already discussed, but if you need me to go farther than this please message me and I’ll be happy to discuss.
Toxic Behavior: guilt-tripping (2)
⭐ (SvS) Patton is also telling Thomas how he feels (”And you were really excited to go, too.”), something Deceit Logan points out not even five seconds later. This is another tactic used by abusers. Caught unawares of the potential manipulation, it can make the abused feel like the abuser understand and sympathizes with them, fostering trust in the beginning of a toxic relationship. However, in the way Patton is using it, it is used to strip the abused of their autonomy, essentially saying “this is how you feel. I know it, and if you disagree with me you’re lying to yourself and being disobedient”. Now again, is this how Patton means it specifically? Absolutely not, he isn’t an abuser. But it’s a form of manipulation that can’t go ignored.
Toxic Behavior: emotional manipulation (1)
⭐ (SvS; 5:37) D: “Wrong?”
T (unenthusiatically) & P: “Yeah.”
P: “Deceit, standing in the spot of one of my four best friends.”
This is another common tactic of manipulation: discrediting. With a simple comment, Patton is attempting to get the other three in the room to instantaneously ignore/disbelieve anything that comes out of Deceit’s (his direct opposition) mouth just after Thomas has decided to tentatively trust him. He goes on to say, “Because Thomas gave his word, but you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you, mister?” This is just another example of the same; Patton is further trying to wedge distrust between Deceit and the others before Deceit can continue to make a valid argument.
⭐ (SvS; 8:24) P: “Basically Deceit is trying to prove that you care more about yourself than your friends. But don’t worry kiddo, we’ll show him.”
This line is from the moment when they enter the courtroom. As anyone who has watched the video can tell you, that isn’t what Deceit was trying to prove at all. He was just trying to show the main sides and Thomas that he isn’t completely innocent like they love to pretend he is.
Toxic Behavior: discrediting/invalidating (2)
⭐ (SvS; 6:43) P: “Lying is bad enough! Lying to a friend is out of the question!”
Patton is speaking as an absolute authority here. His tone and words broker no discussion at all, not even from the side who literally represents lying, who (in my personal opinion) should be allowed to decide when lying is appropriate. A point I raise in a previous video (seen below the Read More) is that Patton is part of a whole, he should never be able to hold all of the power or claim the right to speak unopposed. Throughout the video he shows controlling tendencies such as these, unwilling to hear (or at least entertain) the opposing argument.
⭐ (DWIT; 4:40) P: “I’m sorry, but I can’t condone any more of that kind of thinking!”
While Patton may be morality, DWIT clearly showed that he isn’t the best authority on judging the validity of a thought. Granted, as Logan explained, Patton’s views are more than likely influenced by Thomas’ upbringing. Explanations are not excuses however, and this is still toxic behavior.
⭐ (DWIT; 32:46) P: “It’s okay if you sometimes think some icky thoughts, Thomas. You have my permission.”
This one is… Strange and complicated. Firstly, because Patton starts off saying “this may not be necessary”, so he’s aware that he shouldn’t have the control he does. But, on the other hand, he still feels like he needs to say it, and it can be argued that that is because of himself and/or Thomas. So… This one is hard, but I still hold that it shouldn’t have had to be said. Thomas shouldn’t rely so heavily on Patton’s approval.
Toxic Behavior: controlling tendencies (3)
⭐ (SvS; 7:13) P: “What is this wacky talk? You don’t mean this. I’m your morality, I wouldn’t be here if you did.” (anyone remember what a character lie sounds like?)
I’ve seen this video at least 4 times now, but this line always makes me take a shocked step back. The severity of Patton’s reaction completely comes out of left field here. He hears Thomas trying to rationalize the opposing idea, and instead of trying to talk it out as he did in the past, he literally cuts off the conversation and tells Thomas how he thinks/feels. This is a classic abuser tactic, as stated above when I talked about the “excited” line, wherein the abuser strips the abused of autonomy.
Toxic Behavior: invalidation/stripping one of their autonomy (1)
⭐ (SvS; 29:52) D: “…Acting in your own self interest.”
P: “That’s wrong!”
This isn’t necessarily a “toxic behavior” in the terms that I’m outlining here in this post, but it is one that the fandom has been talking about since the video dropped: Patton’s black-and-white views leading to Thomas neglecting himself over his friends. Patton said in The Mind VS. The Heart, [in response to Thomas saying he needs to make time for himself] “Oh, of course! I never wanted you to feel like you couldn’t!“, and Thomas later says in Growing Up, ”I can’t go moment to moment doing whatever you want me to do”. These are fairly early videos in the series, and yet it seems that the lessons brought up in said videos were forgotten very quickly (especially since this will, hopefully, be the third time it’s being addressed…). Patton has grown in many ways, but this seems to be the one lesson that won’t stick. In fact, if SvS showed us anything, it’s that Patton’s gotten worse.
Toxic Behavior: self (or Base((since we aren’t saying host anymore))) neglect (1)
⭐ (DWIT; 18:11) P: “Is Thomas a bad person?”
This quote, coupled with a Toxic Behavior I address in a previous episode down below, actually shows a dangerous polarization of thought towards people called Idealization and Devaluation. Simply put, with this line of thinking, one views people as either perfect, sometimes near godly, or corrupt, dirty, rotten, not-worth-my-time, and there is no in between. With Patton’s reoccurring question of “Is Thomas a bad person?” he shows evidence that this is the case; despite what he may say, he has only ever described Thomas and the other sides as a good/perfect person, or a Bad Person. It’s a toxic mindset that can ruin relationships.
Toxic Behavior: devaluation (and idealization) (1)
So how did we get to this point? Click the read more to find out!
