YOUR ONE & ONLY

[odumb-deactivated20220303]

till deactivation do us part

[flightyfinch]

im so sad this is from a deactivated blog i feel like i just found a heartfelt message in an old locket at a garage sale

[softjungkooks]

when u know someone is fake as hell but u dont have receipts 

[bestgoatfriend-deactivated20170]

someone: its not healthy to depend on other ppl for ur happiness!!! uwuwuwu

me: call 📞📞 1-800-DID-I-ASK  👀 👀 👀 

When you figure out a plot twist before it happens

[1i73-deactivated20221021]

[modernhaterboy]

Why is it that when you start eating eggs you also have to suffer a race against time before your brain decides to make eating eggs unbearable

[toastbutteregg]

[tvdinner1]

[thebootydiaries]

me: *overthinks everything and cries*

*5 minutes later*

also me: *sees funny post and laughs* oh okay im back

[thebootydiaries]

Child: Daddy! Look! I drew you and mommy at school today!!

Me: Hell yeah, fanart

[odinsblog]

Wasn’t even fake tears. It was no tears at all. They were Kavanaugh tears.

[snorlaxatives]

it’s literally 2016 why did i just come across a buzzfeed video about snacks that “only 90s kids will recognize” like….. i watched the video and one of the snacks was literally a can of coke….. they poured a can of coke into a glass… 

[carlyclaw]

But did you recognize it?

[snorlaxatives]

i……….. did…………

[imposterogers]

“tom holland’s peter parker is a nerd”…. I have to laugh. I HAVE to laugh. tobey maguire’s peter parker did not wear the highest prescription glasses, run after the school bus while all the kids and the bus driver laughed at him, wave at people that weren’t waving at him, blurt out random science facts when no one was listening, work for the school newspaper and carry a clunky camera around all while wearing dad!polos over white tee shirts to be disrespected like that

[imposterogers]

nerd:

geek chic

[honey-pot-hobbies]

He’s a modern nerd…. like that is what a lot of nerd dress and act like nowadays because we’re all depressed and learned nobody gives a shit so we mostly stay quiet

[garbage-empress]

wow this is mindbowling

[marmorbun]

[freyacrescentshangover-deactiva]

Friend: “Got any weird fetishes?”

Me:

[cravings]

if u can’t afford pizza u can’t afford me

[africanson-blog]

whenever im trying to do anything