You're Goin' To Hell, Hunty

Yes, it's me jesus and you need to tighten up

[softsoap-wowerful]

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

don’t worry hunny, they crucified me too. Give it three days, you’ll be busting out and busting a nut.

[crucifiedchrist]

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

ummmm, fuck you?? Look at that glow. My threads are spotless. Maybe it’s maybelline? No, that’s just how fucking good my hair is.

You’re wearing wicker sandals, you dusty heathen

[justnihiling]

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

Gimme three days, Imma be busting outta that box to beat you sinners the fuck up

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

People think hurricanes are nature, but it’s really just me shaming you for masturbating

[gangsters-wife]

i need something romantic to happen to me like right now

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

I’ve got just the thing... use my divine powers to watch you masturbate.

[cataloguekids]

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

How I call over my twelve apostles

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

Humans to me are what third nipples are to humans. You sinners are all fucking nubbins on my chest

god (the og daddy)

[sexybaldwin]

I was feeling really upset in my car before and decided to turn on the radio and when I did it was playing FUCKING DESPACITO

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

This is god’s version of memes

[saisai-chan]

one of my favorite things about getting to know someone is seeing something that you immediately know they’ll love, sending it to them, and seeing their face light up bc you thought of them 

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

how I felt giving humans doggos and kitties. Be grateful, sinners

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

When you stick your leg out of your blanket when your sleeping...

Remember that isn’t a demon’s presence you feel, that’s just me checking out your fine af walking limbs

[democrips]

fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

god hears those thoughts, tighten up

[travelgurus]

I couldn’t believe the rainbow. There was an audible gasp from everyone standing on this rock when it appeared. Moraine Lake - Banff, Alberta. Follow Me For More

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

heavenly view (especially the rainbow), unlike you heathens

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

I use queue because the savior is ever present hunty

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

New Commandment

If Thou Wearest A RompHim You Are Going To Kiss My Heavenly Ass Then Go Straight To Hell

[whitepeopletwitter]

Really now

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

Don’t question the lord’s choices, you dusty heathen

[bettycrocker]

weekly reminder that its perfectly okay to like a character who is written to be evil, bad, morally corrupt, etc. so long as you do not condone the characters actions and understand that they are in the wrong

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

especially if that book is the bible.

Satan, baby, you are gettin it

[uptightlordandsavior-blog]

quit praying to me

text me instead, you weirdo