Soup Is Good Food

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“You know, they say…”

WHO? WHO SAYS? HOW DO THEY KNOW THESE THINGS ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT ME WHO LET THEM DO THAT

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“hey boss, we’s strung em up!”

No no, yous idiots, not like that!

<cuts to man in bondage>

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Ive been good lately, im treating myself to six (6) Doritos locos tacos tonight

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I was a fool. I made my rest with a belly full of Dorito shell and Baja Blast ambrosia. Now i wake to cramps most hellish and a churning deep within me every few minutes. God, what have i done

[urfavemofag]

Ive been good lately, im treating myself to six (6) Doritos locos tacos tonight

[urfavemofag]

I fear that with each day my position on the twink scale of evilness slips from elf to vampire

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My body is a machine that turns velveeta chili mac n’ cheese shells into a 12 hour torture session on the porcelain throne

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I was playing fallout New Vegas recently, and picked up a blue start bottle cap or five. I know from previous playthroughs a of this game that such an action triggers Malcolm Holmes to become corporeal nearby towns. He spawned in on top of the bison Steve roller coaster, took one look at me and fucking jumped to his death.

Has something like this ever occurred to anyone else???

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I am rather overcome with joy (more so than I likely should be) at the prospect of being left completely alone in my house (devoid of human interaction) for extended periods of time. Not because I am an introvert, but because in the face of loneliness, I can yell ridiculous things whenever I’m inconvenienced. “Flummoxed again!” I scream at the catastrophe before me (stubbed toe). None can judge me.

Except my cat. He judges me always.

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I am utterly devastated by humidity. Like, who saw water, and thought to themselves “Hmm, I wonder what would happen if we took the absolute worst parts of this, and put it in the air?”

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My cat tends to be a tad dramatic at times