[sisterpolymath-deactivated20210]

i hate when vampires in media have a human partner and theyre like "i will never drink from you i couldnt ever hurt you like that" like why the heck not?? are you a coward?? whats the point of dating a vampire if they arent ever gonna cover your neck with kisses and then bite you and drink your blood? absolutely ridiculous and very unsexy send post

[dotapolka]

Blood drop/cut throat pearl necklace by Hell’s Belle designs.

[turing-tested]

I made an eye patch and I feel EXACTLY like an anime character and like I get why they’re so dramatic

I get it now

[turing-tested]

having no depth perception makes you wanna start shit

[mytwilightimagines13]

New love

I have a new favourite musical: Tanz der Vampire <3

I mean, look at this masterpiece!

[shesnake]

straight vampires are so unrealistic

[shesnake]

imagine being heterosexual for all eternity.. pass

[pale-fume]

[otakusapien]

vampires being the lactose intolerants of the monster world 

“Yes I’m violently allergic to garlic but what’s the point of unliving without Italian food?”

“I know silver is bad for me but this necklace was SO cute and it was on sale”

“Technically sunlight burns my skin but with enough layers and aloe lotion-”

[tedkordisanasshole]

#‘i don’t care how many holy symbols were at the met gala anne hathaway was supposed to be there and i haven’t seen her in 250 years

[renthebarbarian]

i love how this post just casually drops the fact that anne hathaway too is an immortal

[mossysol]

wanna marry the love of my life and live in a cottage with a big garden

[its-the-fluorescentsss]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

vampires who go to college for a history degree b/c they weren’t paying attention and want to know what they missed over the last 5 centuries

[sprinklesparkletwittertwatter]

Yes, but what about the vampires that were newly turned and want to study history so that they can talk with older vampires and not feel left out. Or the ones that want to pretend that they are super old to freak people out then when someone asks how long they’ve been a vampire that can be like “Like 5 years dude”

[thatsnicebutimmarried]

“How old are you?” “17.” “How long have you been 17?” “Like four months.”

[thewritehag]

Would it be like being a convert to a new religion and just being so hyped about the culture and stuff, so they go and learn all this history just so they can have a conversation with a 5 centuries old vampire who just goes, “…wut?”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

“you lived in england during the Battle of Hastings? who did you side with? did you ever meet William the Conqueror?”

“um I think I spent that century as a bog hermit….collected leeches for a living…good money in leeches”

[sunfish999]

you suck blood for a living you’re basically already a fucking leech you dipshit

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE A LIVING WAGE OFF OF THAT, HUH???

[noct-turnal-lethimsleep]

Imagine being a very old being, and your just walking through a museum or something and you see a painting of someone you knew.

Just “this asshole?? Why do you get a painting?”

[khxiii]

don’t hate me because you ain’t me, a lead filled frame posed specifically to eternally one up you ya garlic allergy bastard

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sweet fuck vampires are pale b/c they’re anemic

[tynot]

Did you only just realize this? They also suck blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun exposure.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

take a multivitamin you melodramatic victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses

[technicalzombie]

“I must feed!” *stuffs face with vitamins-cronchcronchcronch*

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*chewing on an iron supplement* I used to be the terror and nightmare of small Transylvanian villagers

[darknessblackness]

[island-delver-go]

When you wake up in the middle of day to some brats who call themselves “vampire hunters” and they’re going to “cleanse the world of your evil”

[jack-o-lantern-cider]

[astraldemise]

god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

[valquita]

so, a vampire?

[astraldemise]

i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood

[nisslaboratories]

Is it your blood?

[astraldemise]

it is blood, yes

[nisslaboratories]

Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?

[astraldemise]

it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood

[tahthetrickster]

[hotvampireadjacent]

vampire hunters banned from this blog

[hotvampireadjacent]

not only allowed, but encouraged