The green knight was very good you guys
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@useless-cake-hogging-coward
The green knight was very good you guys
#i like to think data took him all the way to the brig tossed him in and left#and then came back 60 seconds later and was like āi believe i have successfully played a āpractical jokeā on you :)ā#riker loses it & claps him on the back like āwow. good job u rly had me going. dont ever fucking do that againā Perfect.
Actually itās 73 seconds. Data, knowing something of how human minds work, estimates that Riker will give him 60 seconds to come back (because humans preferĀ āround numbersā, however arbitrary the units). After 60 seconds it will take 4 seconds for Riker to fully process the conclusion that Data is, in fact, not coming back after all, and an additional 9 seconds to build to the optimum level of anxiety.Ā
After all, comedy is timing.
Iāll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as āattractiveā or even āsexyā to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isnāt?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasnāt anything particularly āfoxlikeā about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be āweirdā, but I donāt think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
Iāve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggyās kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
oh god
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think thereās a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
i think you are all forgetting some crucial information here:
So, Glumshoe and @sailor-lady asked if there was a ritual where they invited a hand to animate their children.
Muppet Babies is canon.
and i dont see any fucking hands.
This has dark implications all over it.
@therobotmonster im just saying, if i offered you $200 and a pizza of your choosing, whats the best headcanon you would come up with for my proposed issue?
I can circle that square with a few pieces of canon. We start out with Kermit on SNL:
The muppets are a form of life, perhaps not quite like our own, but one with its own orders and genuses and the like. Robin goes from tadpole to frog stage on Muppet Babies, after all, thatās a biological life process. Note that muppets keep sewing/stitching/hand jokes to a minimum, thatās because they arenāt puppets, they just resemble them.Ā
The hand-thing presumes muppets work like toons from Roger Rabbit or toys from Toy Story, where theyāre made by people an incarnated. I propose they are like Pokemon, a separate, parallel classification of life that exists alongside what we would call natural life. As with Pokemon, these lifeforms are not the result of a parallel evolution. Rather, their various kinds were created by some manner of God. We know these exist in the Muppet canon, as Big Bird argued the Egyptian Pantheon into letting a child ghost into the afterlife that one time.Ā
Personally, as the essence of being a muppet is your greatest motivation being your greatest weakness, I blame the demiurge.Ā
But you can blame Gonzoās people or the aholes that are made of a Skexis and a Mystic, but not the Goblin King (he is a rogue memetic construct, what some might wrongly label aĀ ātulpaā).Ā Itās also possible they crossed over from the Gorg world. (but that does not preclude them from also being the creations of the demiurge)
This is not to say that muppets are inherently magic, any more than say, a hobbit or a goblin isĀ āmagicā in Lord of the Rings. They are simply created beings that thereafter reproduce after their own kind. Emmit Otter and his Ma, the fact thatĀ āMonsterā andĀ āgrouchā are explicitly races in Sesame Street, etc.Ā
Now, I hear you saying,Ā ābut [email protected], you handsome madman, we just pointed out that Fozzie and Kermit have a green half-bear/half-frog father!ā
Yes. In a movie.
Because the Muppets are actors.Ā
Muppets (the order of life) and the Muppets (the comedy/acting troupe), are different things. The former contains the latter but the latter does not contain all of the former. In essence, Kermit named his endeavorĀ āThe Peopleās Theaterā.Ā
Breaks down like this: You have our, real world universe. Within that is nested a universe that is much like ours, except it is sillier, and Muppets are creatures and not special effects. Within that are nested the fictional worlds of all the various muppet productions.Ā
For further proof, I present these bloopers from Emmet Otterās Jugband Christmas:
It is uncertain how much of the Muppet ouvre is canonical ābehind the scenesā and how much is constructed entertainment provided by the Muppet organization, because of one deep wrinkle we havenāt touched on...
Kayfabe.
Kermit isĀ hard-core about Kayfabe. He comes from a Vaudeville theater background, the 4th wall does not exist in his performance ethos, the show must go on, and the rubes getting a peek behind the curtain doesnāt get you off that hook.
All your Muppet-troupe core performers stick close to this ethos, ensuring you can never be quite certain on what level of reality the scene youāre being presented with is intended to be.Any specific example that conflicts with the others cannot be shown not to just be another straight-faced performance.Ā
Itās not an unreliable narrator, everyone is unreliable, from the producer on down to the go-fer.
Donāt blame me, blame the Demiurge.
(Hereās my Gofundme.)
So I found out that my coworker has been selling gay indulgences and honestly what a fucking genius she is
Her best friend loves chick fil a and always feels guilty about it, so Steph just told her once ālisten if you eat there send me $20 and all is forgivenā and. She did it.
And is still doing that. Weāre working and Steph gets a notification and just goes āOh L just sent me the Lesbian Forgiveness Tax for chick fil aā and I went āwhatā
@ all straight people whoāve ever eaten at chick fil a; cashapp a queer person $20 immediately
Intensely interested to see what gay grievances get nailed to the front of the local gay club
Bonus:
The way this makes me wanna cry...
Genuinely, I beat myself up for having a non productive day. We take so much for granted.
Happy Pride Month š³ļøāš
šā¤ļøāļø
One of the most warmly human things Iāve ever seen was an old parchment from the Irish middle ages, the scribeās cat had walked across the page and left inky pawprints on the page.Ā
FOUND IT!!!
Oh, hereās another:
It would appear that Asian scribes were also plagued by feline predations:
Most of The Sims games from the 2000s are quickly becoming abandonware! Hereās where you can find them! BecauseĀ FUCK Article 13! Dedicated to ANYONE who might be affected.
Just to add onto @uglytownie ās post about The Sims 2, I know there are some of you out there that would also like rarer titles from The Simsā massive back catalog.Ā
If anything happens to this blog because of this post: My NEW twitter handle is @nostalgiasim,Ā my discord is SimWorldĀ (this link never expires), and my personal Neocities page is myonlinepityparty.neocities.org.
PC Games:
The Sims 1 + All EPs
The Sims Life StoriesĀ
The Sims Castaway
The Sims: Pet Stories
The Sims 2 Ultimate Collection
If any of these links do not work for any reason, whether you need technical help or those files are no longer available, you can also find these abandonware games at Games4TheWorld. However, The Sims 3 and The Sims 4 can also be found on that site and I do not publically condone piracy. G4TW world also has an extensive forum for getting these older games to work. You can look for help there. :)
All of the following games are emulator ROMS found on Vimmās, a trusted website that has been around since theĀ ā90s.Ā
GameCube:
Bustinā Out
The Sims
The Sims 2
The Sims 2 Pets
Urbz, Sims in the City
Gameboy Advance:
Bustinā Out
The Sims 2
Urbz, The Sims in the City
The Sims 2: Pets
PlayStationĀ 2:
Urbz, Sims in the City
The Sims
The Sims Castaway
Bustinā Out
The Sims 2Ā
The Sims 2: Pets
WiiĀ
The Sims 3
The Sims 2 Pets
The Sims Castaway
Prima Guides
ALL Games - The Sims + All EPs, The Sims 2 + All EPS, The Sims 3 + Almost all EPs, Bustinā out, Castaway, Medieval, etc.Ā
Extras (Updated!)
The Sims 3 Store (ALL CONTENT)
The Sims 2 Store
(Rare!) The Sims 2 Preorder giftsĀ and Maxis Gifts from the now deleted TS2 Website!
Literally, if ANYTHING on this list goes down, message me. Iām not hosting any of it but Iāll absolutely put out another updated post!
Reblog for others! If donāt want it someone else might!
When weāre new to adulthood, it doesnāt immediately occur to all of us that youāre almost always allowed to leave a situation, because growing up weāre forced to stay in situations until someone dismisses us and/or takes us home, or if we do leave on our own accord thereās someone waiting at home to say āwe donāt quit in this family!ā Boring party? You can leave. You donāt like the lecture? You can walk out. New doctor not working out? You can end the appointment, you donāt need to wait for them to dismiss you. Bad date? You can just go home. Leaving a situation prematurely might have consequences, but unless youāre under arrest or serving prison time, itās pretty much always allowed.
ācommenter Allison @ askamanager
A while back, I called for a Lyft ride home from the airport. The lyft pulled up, he called my name, and I opened the door and climbed in. While I was climbing in he was getting out, which I didnāt realize until he opened the back door on the other side.
Him: Iāll put your bag in the trunk. Me: Oh, thereās no need.Ā Him: Iāll just put it back there.Ā Me: I prefer to keep my bag with me.
I was also still holding onto it so he couldnāt just grab it, and when I saidĀ āI prefer to keep it with meā this cloud of rage crossed his face.
Him: Then get out.Ā Me: Excuse me? Him: Get out, I donāt want your bag fucking up my upholstery.
Now, this was a weekender ā essentially an upscale duffle bag. Small, almost brand new, easily fitting on the middle-seat beside me. I donāt know if he was just really intense about his upholstery or if he was running some kind of scam, but either way I now DEFINITELY was not going to let him separate me from my bag.
So I saidĀ āOkay,ā and I picked up my bag and got out, took out my phone, and cancelled him as my driver.
He looked at me like Iād grown a second head. There was this moment of total disconnect in his face, and then he started ranting about how someone had damaged his upholstery and they needed to put their bags in the back and he wasnāt going to have me getting his upholstery dirty.Ā
I said,Ā āIām out of your car. Drive on, Iāll get another,ā and held up my phone.
This had clearly never happened before ā it looked like plenty of people had thought āThis guy is crazyā but went the āso Iād better let him do what he wantsā route instead of āso Iām getting out of his carā. Which is totally normal! Weāre socialized to prioritize ānot making a sceneā over personal safety. But when you do call that bluff, when you defy the social convention that the other person is counting on to make you do what they want you to do, they donāt know how to react, which gives you time for a clean getaway. And maybe he thought I was a dickhead but what do I care what an asshole thinks of me?Ā
Anyway the moral of the story is yes, you should know that you can almost always leave a situation and often itās in your best interest to do so.Ā
(Right after I called for another car he picked up a fare using Quick Match or whatever itās called, peeled out of the Lyft lane, and hit another car well nigh immediately.)
Bela Lugosi about his female fansĀ
#i canāt even imagine how much pussy he probably got
Got bored. So I made myself a maze in Minecraft, put Iron Golems at the start, punched them and proceeded to run for my life. So far I have been killed 6 times
When you get past the fear stage its actually really fun
I just realized I never put an exit on the maze and that's probably why I keep being cornered and dying
we have to say it
Legit though: Insects are actually a subgroup within the wider group of Crustaceans and a lot of people with seafood (crustacean) allergies are also reactive to insects.
This is so empowering to see proving that despite how hard the churches and Canadian government tried. They failed to "kill the Indian in the child" and that we will continue to flourish in our beautiful culture āš½āš½āš½ and we will never give up
my favorite relationship is the one between humans and dandelions. in childhood we instinctively blow on its little fuzzy seed carriers. we take the role of the wind, we help the dandelions in a crucial part of their lives, and in return we get a wish and a moment of happiness. this is how nature is meant to work. we are just as unaware of our goodness as the honey bees are, pollinating the flowersĀ
When I was a little girl I convinced most of the girls in my grade to fill up a ziplock full of dandelion fluff at home and bring it out to recess. I told them we were obligated to do this because dandelions are created by God and itās our moral obligation to spread the seeds (we went to a Catholic school so this argument was infallible). At recess we all stood like 3 feet apart from each other in the soccer field and dumped out our seed bags. It was chaos, especially because the teachers had no idea it was happening until too late.
Long story short, there were about 1,000 more dandelions that year and we had to bring home little memos on bright orange paper that children were not allowed to bring dandelion fluff to school in ziplock bags, which my mom looked at when I brought it home, and said, āDid someone actually do this?ā Completely unaware that it was her own daughter who started the riotous seedbombing