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It is thirty minutes past midnight, which is still too early to be making up these kinds of conspiracies.

Dazed while trying to piece together the series of bizarre yet deeply vivid images, the entire nation reportedly awoke Monday from a strange dream in which it had been watching soccer. “I wasn’t just willingly viewing it, I actually cared who won, and I was tuning in right here in the United States instead of watching it in Europe or someplace like that,” said 27-year-old Philadelphia resident Erika Sloan, one of the 340 million bewildered Americans who were kneading their foreheads in an attempt to recall the almost lifelike scenes in which they knew when Cape Verde was playing and had an opinion on whether a player was offside.

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With the terrible air quality affecting many of us recently, here's a reminder that the most cost-efficient air purifier is a Corsi-Rosenthal Box, which is a complicated name for a simple device you can build by yourself using common parts from the hardware store: MERV filters, a box fan, cardboard, and duct tape.

As a result of its large size, it is capable of high volume throughput, even with a low fan speed. At 600-800 cubic-ft per minute, it can filter the air in an average living room 6 or more times an hour.

How to build your own Corsi-Rosenthal Box - Corsi-Rosenthal Foundation:

Dedicated to providing cleaner safer air for all.

Today I beat my arch nemesis in 6 out of the 8 daily LinkedIn Puzzles.

#I don't know if he knows that we're nemeses #he consistently solves puzzles in astounding speed #0:26 when the average is 1:23 #today I was faster!#these games are my daily benchmark #it's the first thing I do on my phone upon waking up #and I can tell how mentally sharp I am or how productive I'll be that day based on how far above or below average my times are

coffee-and-cusswords

[guy who has been holding an insane amount of tension in his body for a week straight] bro why do I feel so awful

It was 98°F today with a "Feels Like" of 109°F.

You might think that having a 38,000 gallon in-ground swimming pool would be a nice way to cool off in the summer, but *checks temperature*...

The water is currently 83°F.

Guiness Blonde on draft is weird.

How much should I tip my Lyft driver?

It's a 90 minute drive, Lyft is charging me $170.

#also I am ultimately not the one who pays #I am sending this expense to a sales rep #I don't feel like I need to justify anything to the rep but I also don't want it to come across as unreasonable

As a sport, baseball doesn't really interest me, but the aesthetics and vibes of an American ballpark are really good

#minus the $20 beer and $18 hot dog

We really do not talk about Nerds Gummy Clusters enough.

northirish

I'm following blogs that haven't posted in like eight years but I don't care I shall never unfollow them because I am a true and loyal knight #loyalknight

I feel weird in a weird way and I don't know how to explain it.

Okay bestie you called: If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life (sushi, sandwiches, stir fry, lasagna, fruit salad, ect.) what would you choose?

March 20th is National Ravioli Day.

#the answer is ravioli

Years ago I made a bucket list of low-stakes things I'd like to do, and today I can check off one item:

Have a perpetually open tab at a business that allows me to say "Put it on my tab" and leave without paying.

Just in case any of you were wondering...

Sour Patch Kids dipped in alfredo sauce is not as offensive of a combination as you would initially think.

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