someone liking you isnt the same as someone liking the attention you give them/their idea of you and its weird when someone who claims to like “you” cant even differentiate between the two..

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@uterusbearer
someone liking you isnt the same as someone liking the attention you give them/their idea of you and its weird when someone who claims to like “you” cant even differentiate between the two..
Actual nightmare
Wow, he straight up admits it’s about hurting women
Scariest thing is that husbands want their wives to do this. Men actively want to hurt their own wives - the mothers of their children - because they get off on it.
There is nothing in the world more terrifying than straight males.
“Essentially, it comes from every man who’s unhappily married, and he looks at his wife who just nagged at him about this or that or whatnot, and he says, “I’d like to fuck you in the ass.” He’s angry at her, right? And he can’t, so he would rather watch some girl taking it up the ass and fantasize at that point he’s doing whatever girl happened to be mean to him that particular day, and that is the attraction, because when people watch anal, nobody wants to watch a girl enjoying anal.“
—pornographer Paul Hesky as quoted by Robert Jensen in Getting Off
Think about what it does to someone when their own literal pain – significant enough to drown out any accidental source of pleasurable stimulation – is what ‘turns them on’? Imagine a woman being aroused by this and setting out to pursue this sort of a relationship? They marry themselves to nothing better than an experience of mere arousal drowned out by pain. They bind themselves to chasing perpetual non-orgasm with the enthusiasm a healthy person would put into chasing actual orgasm. They seek non-orgasm as if it were orgasm; non-orgasm replaces orgasm. Sadomasochism literally castrates females’ chances of being sexually fulfilled, hacking their libido to make them lust for an object that’s antithetical to the very concept of lust: an object of net deprivation rather than net enrichment. (How is desiring net deprivation even conceptually possible, let alone psychologically possible without immense confusion?) Males, imagine how mentally fucked up you would have to have become to follow through with and carry out all the ins and outs of a sexual relationship (e.g. smiling, talking, ‘flirting’, going through the motions of finding your way to their place, getting dressed properly, hygiene and elaborate body decoration) only for the purpose of your partner basically pricking your taint with needles while the rest of your completely functioning sexual organs are unattended to and them getting off directly from that. And your mindset is configured in such a way that you bond with the person by them doing this to you, you are excited by the idea of it, and you keep going back to have this sort of interaction in the future to the neglect of all other sexual capacities of yours. You will see not only how depraved someone would have to be to inflict this on another, but also the tragedy and decrepitude of the state of so many female people’s sense of self.
I legitimately listened this boy answer my friend once when she asked “Why do men like it?Isn’t it gross” and he said “Watching the suffering is good”
we can simultaneously understand how women are coerced into heterosexuality and how (1) being a woman in a straight relationship traditionally means being subordinate, (2) women struggle with forming healthy relationships & self-understanding, even if straight, & (3) especially as young women, we often lack the vocabulary to describe how men treat us
when bisexual girls talk about their difficulty expressing interest in & building relationships with men, people relentlessly mock them & it’s kind of frustrating. first off, those girls are mainly like 15. & their intention, from what i see, isn’t “being heterosexual is so rough”, it’s “being female is rough”. girls & women are mocked for interest in / relationships with men. (you’re a sl*t; you’re desperate; you’re unf*ckable; you’re responsible for men mistreating you; you’re asking for it.) AND homophobia & compulsory heterosexuality exist too.
if you’re thinking to yourself, “that’s not logically consistent! why would misogynists punish women for not being with men and punish women for being with men?” welcome to the show!! misogyny is not logically consistent!!
Misogyny is logically consistent. Doing what men want is rewarded. Doing what men don’t want is punished. If both were punished, then women would have zero incentive to embrace and promote the misogynistic things men want them to do and feminism wouldn’t be the pornified sex positive sex-work-promoting mess it has become. Saying “women are punished for being with men and women are punished for not being with men” makes it sound like het privilege isn’t a thing for women, like mlw and lesbians have it equally bad. The women who are punished while partnering with men are not punished for partnering with men, since that’s what men want women to do. They are punished because they do (/are) a number of things that men don’t want them to do (/be), because they are human beings and not the perfectly subservient girlfriendbots men want them to be.
I agree that women (esp. teenage girls) are hurt and mocked for their sexuality even in the context of hetero attraction, but I often see it phrased as “women are punished for doing what men want and punished for not doing what men want”, which is inaccurate and disappears the reality of straight privilege and the fundamental difference between het/bi and lesbian experiences. Women are punished for saying no to men. And of course, there’s still no way for women to win because you can’t say yes to every man out there, or even to 1 man in every way he wants. But it still means male-attracted women have some room for negotiation - they can try to be what men (or one man) want them to be, and be rewarded for it. It often fails, and they often get hurt trying, because being what men want women to be is often a harmful and unreachable goal, but they can try, and they can secure privilege, social status and safety in the process. Lesbians can’t, because our very existence is the definition of what men don’t want women to be. I just really have an issue with the phrasing of your last paragraph and how it puts male-attracted women and lesbians on the same hierarchical level in patriarchy. We are not, because what’s dangerous is going against what men want, and lesbians merely existing is the opposite of what men want.
When the Nazi concentration camps were liberated by the Allies, it was a time of great jubilation for the tens of thousands of people incarcerated in them. But an often forgotten fact of this time is that prisoners who happened to be wearing the pink triangle (the Nazis’ way of marking and identifying homosexuals) were forced to serve out the rest of their sentence. This was due to a part of German law simply known as “Paragraph 175” which criminalized homosexuality. The law wasn’t repealed until 1969.
This should be required learning, internationally.
You need to know this. You need to remember this. This is not something to swept under the carpet nor be forgotten.
Never. Too many have died for the way they have loved. That needs stop now.
Make it stop?
I did a report on this in my World History class my sophomore year of high school. It was incredibly unsettling.
My teacher shown the class this. Mostly everyone in the class felt uncomfortable.
I have reblogged this in the past, but it is so ironic that it comes across my dash right now. I a currently working as a docent at my city’s Holocaust Education Center (( I say currently because I’ve also done research and translation for them )) and out current exhibit is one on loan from the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum ((USHMM)). This is a little known historical fact that Paragraph 175 was not repealed after the war and those convicted under Nazi laws as a danger to society because they were gay were not released because they had be convicted in a court of law. There was no liberation or justice for them as they weren’t considered criminals, or even victims for that matter. They were criminals who remained persecuted and ostracized and kept on the fringes of society for decades after the war had been won. Paragraph175 wasn’t actually repealed until 1994. And it was only in May 2002, that the German parliament completed legislation to pardon all homosexuals convicted under Paragraph175 during the Nazi era. History has forgotten about these men and women — please educate yourselves so this does not happen again. Remember this history. Remember them.
@mindlesshumor ok how the fuck did I miss this when I’ve studied The Holocaust like nobody’s business??? wtf
Because the history we have left regarding it is literally the contents of this first hand account.
It is a thin little book.
When I first opened it, I wondered why it was so thin.
Why there wasn’t other books like it.
Other first hand accounts.
By the time I finished it, I didn’t wonder anymore.
Further reading:
I, Pierre Seel, Deported Homosexual: A Memoir of Nazi Terror by Pierre Seel
An Underground Life: Memoirs of a Gay Jew in Nazi Berlin by Gad Beck
The Pink Triangle: The Nazi War Against Homosexuals by Richard Plant
Branded By The Pink Triangle by Ken Setterington
Bent by Martin Sherman (fiction; however, it’s often credited with bringing attention to gay Holocaust victims for the first time since the war ended)
This is one of the memorial sculptures in Dachau. It was erected in the early 60s and is missing the pink triangles. Because in the early 60s, homosexuality was still a crime in most of the world. Our tour guide explained why the pink triangles have not been added later - if they were, then folks would assume that they had always been there. This way people ask “why aren’t there pink triangles?” and somebody can explain why - because in some ways, the rest of the world was as bass-ackwards as Nazi Germany.
let’s be real, if a straight “cis” man catcalls a passing trans woman, it’s misdirected misogyny. he’s doing it because he believes she has a vagina. and if a straight dude assaults a trans woman he found attractive after finding out she was trans, its HOMOPHOBIA. he does that because he doesn’t want to be gay. his heterosexuality was threatened and that’s why he’s being violent. it’s not transphobia.
[sees an anti 50 shades of grey post] cool
[the post is about how 50 shades is misrepresenting bdsm] you know what i changed my mind fuck you
I hate makeup I hate it.
I see girls 10 years younger than me wearing a full face and I feel like we’re fucking failing as a movement when feminist rhetoric is touting that makeup is revolutionary war paint
It’s expensive products to cover up natural features that the industry convinced you are flaws
It’s capitalism and sexism
Call it what it is
Toxic formulas to help repair self esteem in a society where natural womanhood is never good enough
“mad for no reason” = “I can’t understand your anger so I’m going to paint you as irrational”
Like. ANY situation where the privileged class can decide whether or not they want to recognize themselves as the Privileged Class or “identify” with/as the oppressed class is shit.
Watch: Cara Reedy shares the struggles that come with being a black female little person.
[For the oppressor,] discovering themselves to be an oppressor may cause considerable anguish, but it does not necessarily lead to solidarity with the oppressed. Rationalizing their guilt through paternalistic treatment of the oppressed, all the while holding them fast in a position of dependence, will not do. Solidarity requires that one enter into the situation of those with whom one is solidary; it is a radical posture.
Paulo Freire, “Pedagogy of the Oppressed.” (via aishawarma)
Nari Shakti - Women Empowerment
My family and I visited India last week and we live in Karnal, Haryana. We were driving by and I saw this artwork on the walls and I noticed it was in front of this Women Police Station. I was surprised because I had never seen a police station that was just for women. I had to stop and take pictures. Then I decided to go inside and talk to the lady in charge. She was the head police officer of the station. I got to sit down with her and ask questions. She told me this separate station is needed for women because they can’t always go to a regular police station and talk about what happened to them. Sometimes they are pressured to keep quiet. But here they can openly discuss their case. And they provide them with care and take necessary action to help them. They mostly get domestic violence and assault cases. She said this type of system is rare but it’s made a difference and more and more women are able to come get the help and support they need. I was so happy after talking to her. This is the type of change India needs. I’m so glad her entire team took the initiative to raise awareness and help their community. India needs more people like them.
I saw some stuff about detransition and it has terrified me. I'm so scared that my dysphoria is temporary and I just hate myself and I'll change my life and maybe my body around for nothing. I'm so scared.
I’ve never met anyone who detransitioned and I have met and worked with a large amount of non binary, trans individuals. I’ve met people who thought they maybe non binary or trans, cut their hair and tried pronouns etc and the first few weeks realized this wasn’t the issue.You aren’t going to be like hey I’m trans and suddenly the next day be on hormones and have a beard. That’s not how things work, things take time and some therapists have their patient live for a year as your preferred gender without hormones to make sure this is the right decision. Your dysphoria is not temporary. People who tell you that dysphoria will fade one day do not know the first thing about gender dysphoria and trans individuals. I feel like a lot of these individuals who write these articles on detransition aim to put fear in your hearts.I am not invalidating anyone who has detransitioned. You would know month one on those hormones if this isn’t working for you and your doctor would immediately take you off.
This is your life. Don’t let people strike fear into your heart. I waited 27 years to transition and I can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner.
It saved my life.
Dysphoria was about to take it.
Kyle
You put this in the detransition tag - maybe you should actually take a look at it. Saying that someone would know at month 1 whether or not being on testosterone is the right decision for the rest of their life is blatantly false and incredibly irresponsible advice.
There are women who spent over a decade on testosterone before reconciling with being female. There are women who have had phalloplasties and then come to realize transition wasn’t the best solution. There are more than a few people who have writen about having had double mastectomies - who now realize they are women with dysphoria that can be better treated without transitioning.
Personally, I spent a year and a half living as male before starting T (and after being diagnosed with GID,) just to make sure I was making the right decision. Then I spent a year and a half on T before stopping and then deciding to detransition. I know more than a few detransitioned women who spent longer than me trying to be sure transition was the right choice, and longer than me transitioning. Detransition is possible at any point! Our transition history represents the entire spectrum of trans experience.
Also, my dysphoria is gone now - but it took me years to get here and I couldn’t have done it while trying to live as male.
This isn’t necessarily lesbian related, but I know we have detransitioned/detransitioning lesbians checking out this blog, so I feel like this is relevant.
I was lucky, and realized transitioning wasn’t the way to go before it went to far. But some ladies are on T for years, and have surgeries (one or multiple) before reconciling with being female, and going to get their dysphoria treated.
Any and all detransitioning women are amazing and valid, and I am honestly amazed by how honest and courageous you all are. Seriously. Detransitioning individuals are the bravest people I know.
Detransitioning lesbians, know that you are well loved in our community, and we are proud of you!
anti feminists always bring up women living in third world countries as a good reason that they aren’t feminists, because “women in first world countries aren’t as oppressed” and it’s just… so shortsighted. do you seriously think that domestic abuse, rape, sex trafficking, prostitution, etc. only happened in third world countries? or are those issues just not as “serious” for you to consider?
let’s face it: anti-feminists only bring up the horrible conditions women face in third world countries to shut feminists up. they don’t give a single shit about these women, who are fighting for the same things we are and more. they use women as argument pieces and it’s disgusting.
Not only if:
They are “too young.”
They have been raped.
Their health will be affected.
The child will be born into pain or suffering.
I am 100% for others in ALL SITUATIONS because they are not my situations to control. They are not my business but I am behind their choice 100%.