bastard uwu-er @uwubastard - Tumblr Blog

He had a head the size of a really large onion. and eyes like small onions. His cock was like a really long nice onion curving a bit to the right. balls were like pearl onions. his hands weren't anything like onions so let's move on from those. His ears were

itisiives

ilovedirt

derinthescarletpescatarian

This is the only cat I've ever seen who seems to get more and more chill the more stuff you put on her

doggirlhen

*whips out my big stupid penis* no one bats an eye

*whips out my tiny educated penis* suddenly theres questions

contemptible-scoundrel

DWARF ON TUMBLR: big night out [picture of empty mug of beer, several chunks of ore on a table]

GNOME ON TUMBLR: big night out [picture of acorn cap filled with spring water, one raspberry cut into quarters]

ELF ON TUMBLR: SOERY I GOT REALLY HORNY TJINKING ABOUT HER EARS I CANT FINISH THE POST

tsunderrated

Has anyone considered that maybe he’s just right and the Vatican is kind of faggy?

btc-official-deactivated2024071

“do we think maybe a vegetable would cause less despair” still living in my head rent free

btc-official-deactivated2024071

genderyomi-deactivated20240903

guy who only heard the phrase gaslighting once and is misremembering it: stop fleshlighting me

stpansy

some vibes presented without elaboration

fallingtowers

"aw i love your earrings, they're so cute!" i say, making the barista's day. i sit down with my coffee and send a respected mutual an anon ask reading "you look like you've got that homestuck kinnie pussy." thus i have maintained the balance of suffering in the world for another day. as i wander down the beach of life, my footsteps do not even disturb its grains

bunniope

yeah nice ball piercing dude. its on the gay ball though

dankmemecentral1

My dad is a kroger manager and sent me this (repost without personal info)

leafcrunch

they thought 1 lb stood for “one little bean”

femmemarcille

absterstuff

this is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen jesus fucking christ

catgirlcadaver-deactivated20241

domesticdevil

you know what, fuck you. *shakes the water off my pelt and gets it all over you*

nachosforfree

derinthescarletpescatarian

The radius and ulna are among my favourite bones specifically because they do this

jessica-problems

I hate this. I hate that they do this. I think about this every time I rotate my wrist. It seems like the sort of thing that would go wrong in all sorts of horrible ways and leave a bone sticking out of my skin. and yet it keeps happening. every day of my life.

derinthescarletpescatarian

I rotate my arms regularly just because I like it when they do this.