some guy(s)

hai

[v3il]

veil / lev ⋆ adult

autism, blindness, DID

mostly reblogs or the occasional unfunny post

[2000srotting]

I think I’ve been staring at corners all my life

[v3il]

i kity therefore i :3

[v3il]

i am so back and also so unwell

[v3il]

oooobh coffe :)

[asexual-amanita]

Things that do NOT necessarily mean you’re autistic:

- Being socially awkward

- Having intense obsessions or interests

- Having sensory issues

- Being a picky eater

- Struggling to make friends

- Listening to the same song over and over

- Getting overwhelmed easily

Things that DO mean you’re autistic:

- Fitting the diagnostic criteria

- Symptoms impair daily life and functioning

- Traits cannot be better explained by another diagnosis

[yourlocalnpd]

hey systems I would advise you to keep a certain number of things out of your bio because OSDDID inherently says a lot about your past and triggers so there are certain details only your close friends should know, and not just anyone perusing the internet

your age - predators are more than happy to fake their age to match yours. Being young and plural are unfortunately traits prone to manipulation

your headcount - aside from assholes fakeclaiming you, people can take it and use it against you.

who your trauma holders are, and, more generally, the roles of your alters. it's basically telling abusers who to target and who to avoid

any information about your littles whatsoever. For all the world knows, you have none. same with who age regresses.

any system descriptors beyond DID/OSDD1/PDID/etc. the internet does not need to know if you have complex DID or something like that; it's your trauma.

what your triggers are. people will try to trigger you on purpose. this includes front triggers

all your other disorders, particularly personality disorders - abusers can try to make you dependent, "favorite" them, avoid others, etc.

These aren't rules, and there are obviously different situations that call for different levels of privacy. Just use your judgment: who can see this? anyone who came across my blog or people I friended on simply plural? trusted friends on simply plural? Systems are very vulnerable to further abuse because of their fragmentation and trauma mindsets. Don't let anyone take advantage of that.

[dissonancedart]

Remember, the world doesn’t need to know everything about you, because if it does, it makes it easier to manipulate you. Share certain things with only a few trusted individuals.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

the thing that makes me really nervous about people sending me really knotty and vulnerable personal questions that I am very obviously not qualified to answer is like. look. I'm not special. I'm a dumbass who's amassed too many followers because knowledgeable about like two things and I like to yap. I make a really concerted effort not to position myself as any kind of authority or expert and to manage people's expectations of me. and STILL I get these long wretched asks from people, like, begging me to tell them whether they're fundamentally good people or not. which I will not do, because I'm a reasonable person! but it worries me how easily some people will evidently turn to Just Some Internet Guy for insight and meaning, because a lot of those guys (gender neutral) who have much bigger platforms than me and no sense of their own fallibility and they absolutely think they have some great insight to share. and next thing you know you're in that guy's cult.

[claudiatieno]

Not mine, credit to @audhdwithzoe on tiktok!

[many-but-one]

God, I usually hate commenting on syscourse, but can I just rant about something real quick?

DID/OSDD is not fun. It is not a bunch of friends in your head. There is no such thing as DID without dissociation and there is no such thing as DID without childhood trauma.

I have parts inside that are so incredibly toxic and they do it in the name of protection. They want to protect so badly that they destroy and manipulate other parts of the system to achieve their ideal world of protection.

I have parts that destroy outside relationships because they want to protect us from harm.

I have parts that want to be close to our old abusers because they are desperate for love.

We are not a bunch of bros in a frat house. We are not BFFs. We do not have silly little spats. We have full on wars that create so much tension I feel like I'm going to explode. I have to act like I'm fine on the outside but I'm actually dying on the inside. Every day is a constant battle of dissociation and amnesia and people like to make it into a little game. Some kind of fucked up roleplay that they do for fun. It is sickening and makes light on an incredibly serious and life-altering disorder.

I'm not saying there are never good moments. It is not always 100% suffering. But it's not fun and games all the time either and it's frustrating to see people think that it is. Real life mental health professionals scoff at DID because they see people that fake it for fun, which makes it THAT much harder to be taken seriously. It is so so frustrating to be constantly invalidated and shamed for our disorder. It hurts. You all know who you are.

-a blurry mess

[many-but-one]

While I know I wasn’t part of the blur that wrote this, I think it’s important to note that we were so fucking bitter about the disorder when we wrote this. We were angry, hurt, constantly being ignored for the suffering we were going through.

It took a long time for us to reframe this thinking. Sometimes we still get into states like this, but overall the shame and bitterness is no longer there after over 2 years of trauma therapy. We are not ashamed of who we are, we know our experiences, we don’t care what people think if they know we have DID. The only reason we aren’t MORE open with it is because of the risk of our abusers finding out we are speaking up about the abuse, which would be dangerous for us. But other than that, we are proud of who we are, how far we have come, what we have survived, how hard we have fought to be here.

It’s not fair. None of it is. We didn’t choose this.

But it also wasn’t okay for us to attack people and make them feel bad for having “fun” with the disorder. Because gods damn it, us realizing sometimes we CAN have fun with it and be a little goofy made life a little less shitty. It made us a little less bitter. It made us happy to be alive despite it all. I know the original post was mainly focusing on the endo side of things but I am not looking to get sniped by the syscoursers on here, I have no interest in that side of it all.

I still see people like or reblog this post every so often but I really feel the need to address the hurt that was being felt at the time of this post, and that with therapy and a modicum of acceptance and healing, we have become much LESS bitter about it all, and fully encourage people to have fun. This disorder sucks, it’s not all fun and games. But it also isn’t constant misery, either. And constantly hanging on to the misery and pain and never letting yourself feel joy will only make you more miserable, not to mention make you sound like a fucking asshole😅 Oof. I read that and nearly cringed out of sheer embarrassment. I understand the perspective but *wow* have we changed since then.

That’s all I got. Embrace the little happy moments. Makes the moments of bitterness and pain more manageable. Cheers✌🏻

[one-voice-of-many]

Idk maybe that's why

[v3il]

augh. the Horrors

[neo-pilled]

Common things in DID that no one likes to talk about

- switches that feel like you’re turning into someone else rather than them taking control (non-possessive switching)

- being unable to recognize amnesia until something requires you to remember something you forgot

- staying in the front for weeks at a time

- being unable to communicate with alters internally (this is so common why does everyone act like this is weird?)

- feeling like you don’t have any problems because you feel disconnected from them

- constant denial

- rapid identity, label, and appearance changes

- comorbidities, particularly personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and the schizophrenia spectrum

- autism (there is science pointing towards autistic people being more susceptible to trauma)

- disliking your system

- wanting final fusion

[squidfreak]

DON'T PUT YOUR TRIGGERS AND/OR PHOBIAS IN YOUR WEBSITES/PINNED POSTS/BIOS/ETC. FOR EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET TO SEE. ONLY TRUSTED PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT INFORMATION, NOT THE WHOLE INTERNET. YOU WILL GET HURT!!! MEAN PEOPLE WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU!!!

[v3il]

my new years resolution was to get fatter but by god the loss of appetite from my meds is making it hard

[bununiii]

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

[v3il]

i did. 1 ☝️ assignmence today