Doctor Pentapus

Katie, 21, USA, love getting to know people so message me please! I don't tend to post much but I do love to reblog.

[trumpetsbyjasonderulo]

it’s been ten years and i can confirm that everything still happens so much. happy anniversary king

[toastbutteregg]

[normal-horoscopes]

[normal-horoscopes]

I need the audio of this more than anything I've ever needed in my whole life. I need to hear former president Richard Nixon reminisce about how he wanted to be a white rapper so bad. This will fix me.

[harmalade]

“Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.”

— Daniel M. Lavery, How To Respond To Criticism (via boringoldraphael)

[pawcakes]

this bitch gets it

[3liza]

look I’m going to hijack an already popular post to tell a story and that’s that i have various symptoms syndromes but one of them is my body finds it borderline impossible to consume plain water or utilize it effectively so I’m just constantly dehydrated. anyway a few years ago something bad happened and i ended up in the ICU and they hooked me up to the saline drip and ended up putting 25lbs (the nurse said) of saline into and through my body intravenously. and people kept coming into the hospital room where i was dying and looking startled and saying like “you look beautiful!”. because my skin was plump and perfect my lips weren’t chapped for the first time ever my eyebags were just gone completely. anyway I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since

[glisteringlord]

[dahmers4ur]

The silence from the left on this issue is deafening

[teathattast]

[unclefather]

because he will

[unclefather]

he will

[unclefather]

bake your beans

[kawaii-kunai]

HE WILL SPILL THE BEANS OUT YOU STUPID F*CK

[unclefather]

he will drop your baked beans

[goobra]

my unpopular opinion is that i hate tiktok because now people just publicly watch loud ass videos in public spaces with no regard for anyone else. 100% it was not this bad with youtube, it’s such a different thing with tiktok. put on headphones. you are grown.

[fairypage01-deactivated20221018]

Girl……

[byjoveimbeinghumble]

This is it! This is what social media/smart tech have done! They’ve rotted away any distinction between private and public.

Yes, we do have the right to make demands on public behavior. Of course we do. Have you never heard of laws and etiquette? I’m not allowed to grocery shop naked. You can’t rummage through my purse. I can’t have a work meeting in the middle of a movie theatre.

I remember when it was taboo simply to answer your cell phone in public. The person answering would apologize and try to go to a more private area. Then public calls were normalized. Then putting people on speaker. Then listening to music without headphones. Do you know how many times I have hiked up a mountain or driven to the beach, only to be met with someone blaring shitty top 40 music from their portable speaker, because Heaven forbid you go one hour without noise?

Old woman yells at cloud and all that, but I can’t believe someone is not only admitting this behavior, but saying it’s a good thing! No one likes you! You’re a menace!

[mcavoys-deactivated20130122]

[oh-deir-deactivated20140104]

ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

[memewhore]

[pepprs]

[voidbat]

body: you are dying of The Heat

me: [removes blanket]

body: never have you been So Frozen

[ryanhatesthis]

[bubblysun]

i have been waiting for this to show up in my dash forever

[ktkeen96-deactivated20141121]

ITS BACK

[ryanvallejo-deactivated20150514]

THIS IS MY FAVORITE

[sassafras--manson-deactivated20]

IT’S BACK

[khan2kool]

This has to be up there with the funniest shit ever.

[phobs-heh]

gonna reblog it everytime

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

IT HAS RETURNED TO US

[bog-dwelling-butch]

Wow I have not seen this in years, tumblr classic

[pyrobot1cs]

have I reblogged this yet

[ampervadasz]

Unmute !

[freakshows199]

I just wanna thank the person who put this across my dash cause I’m sad as hell but I still laughed a little

[sandersstudies]

My husband’s job primarily employs adult men but there is one (1) teenage girl and my husband said originally he worried she might be a bit of an outcast but instead every man on the crew was like “huh guess I am a dad/older brother now.”

[sandersstudies]

She was in a car crash on the way to work one morning and called my husband to let him know she’d be late and he was like wtf guess I’m gonna be late too because I’m coming to pick you up and then he told his team and they were like I think you mean WE are coming.

[hoonkus-deactivated20230701]

Imagine you are a teenage girl probably rushing to get to work and you crash your probably new car and feel absolutely miserable and now you’ll be late to work but then suddenly in the distance a car full of all the adult men you work with just pulls up and is like “we came all the way here to pick you up” the mental image right now is fr.

[sandersstudies]

Apparently she tried to call her dad but it was 3am and he was obviously sleeping so she called my husband and he not only came to find her but fished her glasses out of the hood of the car (she’d dropped them while looking inside), drove her to the hospital, and told her to take the day off. She insisted on coming back to work so he used his lunch break to watch TV with her to make sure she didn’t doze off (concussion risk).

You’ve heard of the Mom friend but my husband is very much the Dad friend. He said when he answered the phone she said “hey please don’t be mad” and he’s never felt such powerful Fatherhood energy in his life.

[deliciouspaintthinner]

Girl: *calls for aid*

Every single dad packed into the car:

[sandersstudies]

This is possibly my favorite response to this post

[i-like-to-think-that-im-cool]

This girls father: Thanks for helping my daughter out guys

Your husband and all his coworkers:

[viraltok]

Tiny animal, big mouth 😂 Meet Dinky. @chipmunksoftiktok

[jonklassen2]

[gentlemanbones]

[dreadpiratecherry-deactivated20]

[was-fleur-prince-deactivated201]

I have no idea what’s going on

[pewterkat]

Congrats, we have reached a period of time where there is a generation that does not remember the first memes.

[ryanthedemiguy]

Look, i’ve been on tumblr for nine fucking years and I don’t get this meme. I remember seeing it at some point, but have no clue what it means.

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

because this meme is pre tumblr and pre-youtube and is about 17 years old, almost twice as long as you’ve been on tumblr the ancient depths of albinoblacksheep will never die

[thesassyducks]

These ten ducklings were found orphaned and they were brought to a pet duck called Stella who had just hatched nine of her own two weeks prior. She immediately claimed the ten as her own. 

via @thesassyducks​ instagram

(Source)

[kindness-and-sunshine]

she released those babies like a ramen flavour packet

[kelssiel]

love how stella swims over like “oh shit i must’ve misplaced these ten whole babies!”

[azzandra]

Love how the li’l ramen flavor packets swim over like ‘oh shit that must be mom, she’s mom-shaped’

[lurlur]

[flipocrite]

found-family speedrun

[scrubjayspeaks]

New offspring just dropped.