“You speak of destiny as if it was fixed.”

25, she/her

[blans]

Match 1 of the 2026 FIFA World Cup, Mexico vs South Africa — photographed by Geoff Lowe

[podcastwizard]

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

[caramelpenguin]

"Do you think... we'd be in love at sixteen? Or- fifteen?"

Shane makes a soft noise. He is so tired. His eyes are drooping, body melting into the sheets like the bed will swallow him whole. He snuggles closer, lifting an arm to palm at Ilya's bicep, fingers spreading over solid muscle. It's so warm. He's so warm. Shane wants to feel this warm forever. "Mm? What?"

"If we'd met before? You think it would have been the same?"

"Before Saskatchawan?"

"If we met as younger teenagers. Do you think you would have still loved me then?"

"Duh." Shane huffs a laugh, his hand now wrapping around Ilya's back and climbing up and threading into the curls at the nape of his neck. He hums, content. "Obviously."

Ilya’s mouth tightens slightly. “Obviously,” he repeats.

"I'd always love you." He thinks of younger Shane Hollander, and remembers wide eyes, awe as he watched younger Ilya Rozanov on the ice, the excitement that bubbled in his chest. "I watched hockey tapes of you. Before we met."

"You did?"

He yawns. "I think I had a crush on you. Which is- wow. Embarrassing."

"Lucky you. Dating your childhood crush." Ilya's tone is smug, but his smile is soft, his thumb stroking Shane's chin like he can't really believe it himself.

And Shane's voice is all syrup and honey and golden and loving when he says, before drifting to sleep, "fuck you, Ilya."

[iusedtobecharming-deactivated20]

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

[rehearsing]

happy too tired July everyone

[modernmusess]

there’s something so gutwrenching about the fact that the female characters in obsession have real dreams and wishes but never get the chance to see them realized, while both male characters waste their wishes on short-term selfish satisfaction. they were complex, free-spirited young women who just wanted to create art, and they were destroyed by a man determined to confine them to his superficial perception of them. nikki wanted to be a writer, sarah wanted to be a tattoo artist and now neither of them will get to be anything at all

[bashcrandicoot]

“I don’t know what my goals are, no. Thanks for asking.”

[totearup]

One of the things the time jump between Heated Rivalry and Long Game robs us of is seeing the effect coming out to his team has on Shane in real time. And that experience does a lot to inspire his anxiety and responses in TLG.

No one will ever convince me that there's not a connection between Shane coming out to his team, it not going well, and Shane volunteering to start an even more intensely restrictive diet than he was already on, that also punishes his relationship. Just like I will always view Shane's anxiety around Ilya coming out to the Centaurs/his friends as a trauma response based on how badly it went for him.

One of the most heartbreaking parts about Shane's performance diet to me, is how in both My Dinner with Hayden and TLG Shane and Ilya mention how they love to cook together, and it's like a fun couple thing for them. It's a point of connection, something they do together aside from hockey. And, unlike hockey, it's something they don't compete about.

Shane's performance diet robs them of this. There's a scene in TLG where Ilya has done a bunch of research to find a meal they can cook together that fits in Shane's diet. And Shane is delighted by this. But, notably, he puts no effort into finding other recipes they can do this with again. He tells Rose he likes the discipline of his diet, and I don't think he means just in regards to what and where he's eating, I think he also means in his relationship.

There's another major change we see in Shane between books. At the end of Heated Rivalry he's talking fairly optimisticly about both of them coming out to friends.

This is at the cottage. Very soon after they've decided they're in a real relationship. It's hard not to compare this with Shane's sheer panic in TLG when Ilya talks about coming out to Troy - not even about them, just about being bi - and also to the possibility of even meeting the rest of his team.

So, what's happened to Shane in the last three years that makes him go from joking around about coming out to his friends to rabidly controlling his relationship and protecting every small detail of it that he possibly can?

The fucking Voyaguers.

[lakevida]

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

[youngadultread]

“Teachers are often unaware of the gender distribution of talk in their classrooms. They usually consider that they give equal amounts of attention to girls and boys, and it is only when they make a tape recording that they realize that boys are dominating the interactions. Dale Spender, an Australian feminist who has been a strong advocate of female rights in this area, noted that teachers who tried to restore the balance by deliberately ‘favouring’ the girls were astounded to find that despite their efforts they continued to devote more time to the boys in their classrooms. Another study reported that a male science teacher who managed to create an atmosphere in which girls and boys contributed more equally to discussion felt that he was devoting 90 per cent of his attention to the girls. And so did his male pupils. They complained vociferously that the girls were getting too much talking time. In other public contexts, too, such as seminars and debates, when women and men are deliberately given an equal amount of the highly valued talking time, there is often a perception that they are getting more than their fair share. Dale Spender explains this as follows: “The talkativeness of women has been gauged in comparison not with men but with silence. Women have not been judged on the grounds of whether they talk more than men, but of whether they talk more than silent women.” In other words, if women talk at all, this may be perceived as ‘too much’ by men who expect them to provide a silent, decorative background in many social contexts.”

—

PBS: Language as Prejudice - Myth #6: Women Talk Too Much (via misandry-mermaid)

Every EVERY women’s studies class I’ve been in has had this problem and failed to address it. 

(via iamayoungfeminist)

[blackshvck]

Chappell Roan was right. it is like a hundred ninety nine degrees

[thisfeebleheart]

Hollanov being teenage sweethearts is so buzzy; imagine your husband being there when you were first drafted into the NHL, when you first won rookie of the year, MVP, and you were being asked about each other and were talking about each other on National TV for a decade; he was your first time feeling sexual attraction in real life and your first time having penetrative sex.

All these milestones in life, you look back, and he's there. They're incomplete without him. And now he's your husband. So all along, he was your future husband. (post by @tayasui-mono)

[boitterfly]

like. what do u mean they were so inseparable the whole time they were at the cottage that shane got into his trunks and waded out to sit on that rock while ilya splashed around silly style even though it was cold and he didn’t want to get in… what do u mean the first time they have a chance to spend real time together they realize they like being around each other so much that they wont be apart for even a minute if they don’t have to.. what do u mean they have to go to the secret long distance torment nexus after that. i’m sick

[stardustpainter]

Ilya trying to outplay his demons

[tenebrobscuro]

The first simulated image of a black hole was calculated with an IBM 7040 computer using 1960 punch cards and hand-plotted by French astrophysicist Jean-Pierre Luminet in 1978.

[str-ngeloop]

the romance of hand-plotting. this guy looked at the numbers and drew each of those dots manually, and the image emerged. we can only imagine how he felt

[tahthetrickster]

just so we’re clear if you’ve never actually seen a cybertruck in person and have only seen photos of them i cannot stress enough how much worse they look in real life. like i honestly don’t know how it’s possible. most things look basically the same in pictures and in real life. but as stupid and ugly as cybertrucks look in photos, every person i’ve spoken to who has seen one in real life agrees that they somehow look even worse in person. and i know you’re thinking to yourself “tah they already look so bad in photos, how can they possibly look even worse in person?” I DONT KNOW. the first time i saw one on the road i was on a phone call and i literally cut myself off in the middle of a sentence just to be like “oh my GOD.” just an incredibly, laughably, unbelievably bad vehicle. i’ve never experienced anything like it. they’re just so bad

[ilyarozanovsmouth]

Look at his face! His eyes. He is trying so so so hard to be so chill. So nonchalant. "Don't look down. Turn the volume down. Don't look at him yet. He might disappear. Be cool. Don't spook him." And oh my god he is not chill in the slightest. He is so touched that Shane seems to care. He asked about the girls thing and it didn't go well so he's taking this as a sign that maybe Shane does care. It goes downhill in like 5 minutes but you know.

And then:

He settles in a bit and he looks almost almost relaxed. But he still can't look! And the barely-there jaw flex, shoving down the emotions. Looking makes it too real. Even though it's already very real for Ilya.

And then we get so brave because he wants to look! Memorize Shane laying on his chest. The weight of him. His smell. How his hair feels.

[snap-crackle-cunt]

what shane says: im gay

what shane means: i can never love a woman in any way resembling the way i love you and when i tried she called my shit IMMEDIATELY so what im trying to say is i can't sidestep whatever we are the way you can, i will never ever love anyone but u

what ilya hears: somewhere along the line of our multi-year situationship that began with me immediately sucking ur dick, i have determined that i like men.

what ilya says: ya no fucking shit bro what