valiant little darling

[AS OF 2020: THIS PAGE IS THE MUSINGS OF A THEN-20-YEAR OLD WHO WAS LIVING A PRETTY SAD LIFE AT THE TIME. THIS HAS BEEN UNTOUCHED FOR 5 YEARS] Filipino by blood, Nederlander at heart. I speak English, Dutch, Tagalog, Cebuano, learning French, and Spanish. These pages are the photo journals of my life. Only hugs, smiles, and warm fuzzy feelings are allowed.

[tarkovskologist]

I wonder ‘Where is the girl that I was last year? Two years ago? What would she think of me now?’

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals (via lipstick-bullet)

[valiantlittledarling]

It’s been six months since my last post. Funny, because I even said (quite dramatically if I may say so), “I’M BACK.” It’s been nine (?) months since I started Operation Swan, and it’s been quite a journey. A positive one.

It’s been nearly a year since I started this tumblog - when I was in need of an outlet.

I realise that, even on my old multiply blogs, I was active on social media merely because I was lacking something for myself. But now I’m in a happier place. It’s not yet entirely what I’ve visualised and dreamed of, but I’m getting there. I’m a stronger and better version of myself compared to last year.

I realise that, I don’t know what to do with this.. this blog. I even find some of my previous posts corny, cheesy, or just plain annoying. hahaha.

I realise that, this is why I didn’t stick to blogging. I don’t really like sitting in front of a laptop for extended periods of time, I don’t like being online much at all (hence my current almost nonexistent twitter & ig presence, my absolutely nonexistent snapchat, and even my facebook hasn’t escaped the rounds -- I deleted facebook on my phone, thus further limiting my online activity). 

This is where I’m facing a challenge at the moment: I don’t know - should I just delete everything (or most) that I’ve posted earlier? If not, how shall I structure my blog from this point forward?

[valiantlittledarling]

Right after watching the OUAT Winter Finale, I left on a solo journey to a place called Sagada, in The Philippines. After that, things got really hectic, what with the Christmas Rush and all. Granted, I also had my laptop (the hard drive, etc) checked. And now it’s back!

I’M BACK.

I realise my last post was exactly two months ago, but my fangirl account still had posts for ten days after (most likely queued). I also had a personal project I called “Operation Swan”, which was also partly why I didn’t have much of an online presence.

Operation Swan was in some ways a success, but also in some ways a failure.

I failed to maintain a bedtime of before midnight.

I failed to become a morning person.

I did cut down on laptop time.

I did get out of the rut.

I have a better relationship with my parents.

I’m on my way back to full Faith.

But since it’s also just 21 days into the new year, I’ve decided to continue with Operation Swan -- and hopefully, things will get even better, and I could finally dance to the beat of my dreams.

This means, though, that posts will be sparse, as I am still working out my new schedule (new year, new additions! better ones).

In the meantime,

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

May 2016 be your best year yet.

[valiantlittledarling]

39 Biking at Sunrise

It’s the 23rd day of my personal journey called: Operation Swan. However, I won’t lie to myself: I have been unsuccessful in waking up at 6am the past 10* (*I lost count) days. So, today I started anew.

I woke up at 6, got up 15 minutes later, and finally went out at 6:30. But I didn’t go for a walk like the previous times, and I didn’t go out with a companion/s like I originally wanted to. I biked around the village. I even dropped by the Church to give a bit of thanks. :-)

The wind on my face, the warm early morning light on my skin, the smell of fresh cut dew... set the tone for the day -- warm, happy, strong. [Although however, there were moments that I was really irritated (at people/things), but then I remembered to always stay positive.] Now I’m looking forward to waking up early again tomorrow.

[valiantlittledarling]

38 Art

Leonid Afremov’s paintings always amaze me. The colours are always so vivid and evoke wonderful emotions. It’s no wonder that my “Iridescent Sights” (tagged ‘colours of the world’) are filled with his works. They always inspire.

[valiantlittledarling]

35 Fangirls

On all of my social media accounts, you’d know that I’m such a fan of Once Upon A Time. That’s the main reason why I have two tumblogs, and two twitters -- for my personal thoughts, and the other for fangirling.

A lot of my followers & people I follow (aside from the cast/crew) on my fangirl twitter are my fellow Captain Swan shippers. Most of them, if not all that I know, are either in Europe or in the Americas. We speculate, we gush about the story, we comfort each other, we fall more in love with Captain Swan -- we do all this together.

Lately, as I wrote in my 21st 101 smiles post, I’ve become a fan of a Philippine TV show called On The Wings Of Love, starring Filipino artists Nadine Lustre and (half-Australian) James Reid. Most of the time, I’d watch the episodes I missed (rather, when I still wasn’t a fan) late at night (around midnight) in the Philippines -- that’s late afternoon in Central Europe, or morning in the Americas.

Naturally, I’d also fangirl/livetweet about OTWOL on my fangirl twitter.

While I was live tweeting during the 71st episode on Monday night, one of the fellow shippers I’ve been fangirling with the longest, sent me a tweet!

It made my day because

Captain Swan hurt so much in OUAT’s latest episode (which came out that day).

I didn’t expect to become a fan of OTWOL either! (As I said in this post)

She’s watching all the way from Belgium!

I don’t tweet or write a post for anyone, so to visibly see that my tweets/post have positively influenced someone means a lot.

As much as I myself am not a big supporter of the Philippine showbiz/entertainment industry (like I said, OTWOL is a first in years), knowing that it is also appreciated by and is appealing to others is a good thing -- which means OTWOL is doing a great job.

Kudos to the cast and crew!

[joostrentema-blog1]

Meanwhile in Amsterdam.. Dam square from above

[valiantlittledarling]

34 Dance

"Spread your wings my little butterfly. Don't let what they say keep you up at night And they can't detain you 'Cause wings are made to fly, And we don't let nobody bring us down. No matter what you say – it won't hurt me. Don't matter if I fall from the sky, These wings are made to fly.”

[throwback picture from last year]

[valiantlittledarling]

Nederland zal altijd en voor eeuwig zijn in mijn hart blijven.

33 Realisations

[librariesandbooks]

The Artis Library, University of Amsterdam, the Netherlands

[valiantlittledarling]

32 Craft Coffee Nuvali

Finally open! Solenad/Santa Rosa finally has a specialty coffee shop!

We’ve been waiting for them to open for several months ago, but we weren’t aware of their exact opening date. So when Mom & I were in the area and saw that they were already (finally) open -- we didn’t hesitate and had a taste of their coffees!

I got a Mocha frappuccino, while Mom got Cafe Black. For the food, Mom tasted their macadamia sans rival, I got chicken empanada, and an extra (because I was still hungry!) sausage pie.

Instead of whipped cream, their frappuccino had a serving of vanilla iced cream on top. I haven’t been a fan of whipped cream on frappes for years now, so I always ask to not have it. For Craft to serve it with ice cream is something different, so I sort of needed to try it. :))

Their coffee is PERFECT. In most coffee shops’ ice blended/frappuccinos/coffee shakes/whatever they call it, the coffee flavor gets drowned out by the milk/water/ice/flavor. At Craft’s, even despite the ice cream, the coffee is even enhanced and you could really fully taste it. <3

This will surely be one of my favourite places to hang out at. I’m excited to bring the rest of the family there. :-) 

[valiantlittledarling]

‘cause lately I’ve been a shorts kind of girl

(also because the rainy season’s over, and it’s always hot)

[valiantlittledarling]

[valiantlittledarling]

[valiantlittledarling]

28 “I am not nothing! I was never nothing!”

Along with other fans who are active on Twitter, the reveal that Nimue was the First Dark One was nothing new. Haha

A new OUAT episode - whether angst-filled or filled with good moments - always leaves me in a happy state, which is why it’s always at the top of my happy list every Monday. :-)

But this was really a great episode for Emma.

As @onceuponamirror wrote in her meta –

The lost girl who thought she didn’t matter and never would has come so far. This was such an important episode about identity and the reflection of growth; she started out the show extremely insecure, but at the same time, always trying to do the right thing, even when her fears wanted her to run.

(…) No matter what stage of character development she’s been at, Emma has always been a fighter; she has never let anyone tell her who she can or cannot be. This is the person who opened the show punching back, after all.

And look how happy she is when she does the right thing—it’s not just about the act, it’s about Emma realizing she’s still herself. She has so much hope right then, it’s truly the first time that she believes she can defeat this.

“Someday, perhaps, there will be a person who’s worthy to hold that much power and not let it burn through to darken their soul.”

I am with other fans in thinking that if anyone can do that, it will be Emma. Before she was the Dark One, she was the Saviour. She’s also said, “Nobody saves me but me.”

I’m really excited to watch the rest of the season - always looking forward to Mondays!

[valiantlittledarling]

27 Friends like Family

It was the birthday of one of Dad’s best friends (since they were in 5th grade) last Wednesday. The family held a party on Saturday, but since we were unable to come, we decided to visit them yesterday.

These friends, having known them since birth (or even, in a way, before birth! because of our dads), are now more like our family, our cousins! Any day, any time spent with them is always fun, even when we do nothing and just hang out.

But before we went to their house, we first went to SM Aura and attended mass. We also dropped by the food fair/market at the Lower Ground floor, where we were pretty much in food heaven! We also decided to get them a small Caramel Cake (picture grabbed from the net) from Costa Brava, where they use coco sugar and has the softest, melt-in-your-mouth chiffon cake and caramel icing.

I decided on the cake for my 101 smiles, because it represented the day (we gave one as a gift!), and besides, it was really a delectable cake. :-)

[heythereney]