Expat, Explore, Experince

I am a twenty something trying to figure out life. 

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Reality TV

I don't know what everyone elsea excuse is ,but I think I have a good one. As a kid, I loved watching the Real World/Road Rules. Then Flavor of Love came out and forget it, I was hooked. I would also dable with One Tree Hill and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is nice when you have cable and you have a variety. Once summer when I came home from college, I must have been 19, my mom seprated from her husband and we were living in a small apartment. We had basic cable, which included News 12, WB and Bravo. I always thought Bravo was for older adults, in which case it was, but when your TV selection is limited, you watch it. That was when discovered New Jersey Housewives. Oh my. That show is a walking train wreck and absolutely delightful to watch when you are poor and you get to watch these rich people male a fool of themselves. Exposure is a part of learning, but for me it was forced due to the circumstances of being a young college student living with a single mother. I learned I loved reality TV. Always consider the context of the situation before you judge someone for liking the housewives.

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CANCERVERSARY: 20 Years. I never thought I would see the pyramids, nevermind finally not getting pricked with needles everyday. #cancerversary #leukemia #twentyyearanniversary #cancerfree #cancercard #childhoodcancersurvivor #stupidcancer #kidswithasscancer

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When you get seated next to the private party... #austria #europe #grinzing #eurotrip #onholiday #prost 🍻 (at Grinzing, Wien, Austria)

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When you get seated next to the private party... #austria #europe #grinzing #eurotrip #onholiday #prost 🍻 (at Grinzing, Wien, Austria)

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Before and after - 1 ✔🇨🇿🏅 About 2 years ago I was stuffing my face with Taco Bell 🌮 (no shame), watching NY Real Housewives (no shame) and crying over an ex boyfriend (shame). It was 4pm (16:00) and I decided to go to the dam gym🏋. I said why am I wasting my energy over someone who does not care about me and let me start to care about myself. From there I started weight lifting and running. I gradually increased my running from 5ks to 10ks. I knew I always wanted to do a half, but it was nearly impossible to train while working 4 jobs in NY. Since I have moved to Europe I made it a priority with some encouragement from a colleague 🤗. Is a Full Marathon in my future? Who knows. Now I am going to make swimming a new goal of mine thanks to a local I met here in Karlovy Vary 🌊. #kvhalf #mattoni #karlovyvary #cancersurvivor #girlswhorun #independent #fittness #allrunnersarebeautiful #europe #carlsbad #czechrepublic #pivo #runforest #traveltheworld 🌍 (at Karlovy Vary)

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Just keep swiping 😉 #runforfun #czechrepublic #traveltheworld #beauty #springtime #stanovice #experience #europe #underratedcountry #training #fitness #postrunpics #halfmarathontraining #goals #travelbug (at Stanovice)

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I'm the German Dora the Explorer. If you are ever in Dresden, DM me. I know the trams. 🚅 #bagpackbagpack #plandid #doratheexplorer #imthemap #dresden #germany #europe #expatlife #travelgirl #graf #grafingermany #longisland #travelbug #germangirl #motherland #twentygreat (at Dresden, Germany)

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I was so obsessed with this retro brunch spot! It was so cute with its little finger foods for only 7 Euro! #dresden #laikacafe #europe #smallgetaway #brunch #brunchingermany #retro #hipstergermany #germany #prost 🍻🇩🇪 (at Laika cafe*bar)

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Cancerversary

I was watching TV with my mom one day and one of those fundraising commercials for children with cancer came on. I had to have been at least 6 years old and I asked my mom, “I will never get cancer right?” She responded, “Of course not baby.”

January 1998 (8 years old) I was visiting my grandparents in Florida and I broke out into a wild rash, which is not abnormal, however that is where my cancer journey began. One day I was on the playground and like a typical child tumbled over which resulted in a broken left arm? I got a hot pink cast of course. The WORSE was when I sprained my middle finger. You could imagine the amount of teasing I got from that while being a third grader with a huge splint on my middle finger. I remember going to the emergency room once for god knows what, and before I was released, a nurse spoke to me and my mother and said, “I am afraid she MIGHT have cancer.” I felt absolutely hopeless in that moment. I rememberer being in the school nurses office EVERYDAY and she was wonderful, however one day I think she got fed up and told me I could not keep going to her everyday. I am not one to fake an illness. Even now a days i don’t take a pill for every ache and pain. I was very offended and felt so sad. How can she tell me that I cant go to her when I could not function in class? You think a third grader would rather be sleeping in the nurses office instead of being with her friends? It was then Easter 1998, I remember being in a wheelchair and my uncle gave me a massage as he was a licensed massage therapist and when he was finished and left the room and whispered to my mom, “I think it is cancer.” I remember laying facedown behind the glass front door watching my cousins leave and waving goodbye. My mom told me recently that she was reported to CPS by my school. I HAD NO IDEA! I am one that is proud of the town I grew up in and only have good things for them to say about it. Then this was sprung upon me. I was pissed. During this ENTIRE time my mom was a single parent and my dad was struggling with his own battle of addiction at the time.

June 24 1998 I entered the hospital and I was immediately sent to get a bone marrow biopsy while awake. I had a needle up my spine for at least 20 minutes. After my mom was asked to talk to the social worker. I was then called in. My mom’s hands were in her face and she looked at me once and started to cry hysterically. I knew at that point my life was going to change forever. The social worker then told me, “Valerie you have Leukemia.” I was eight years old and knew what that was.

The next two and a half years of my life was spent in and out of the hospital. I had to get a mediport two days after I was diagnosed. The mediport was a small internal contraption that was placed right above my chest so my veins would not collapse in my arms since I had to get multiple iv treatments. I was not allowed to go in public places for a while and I could not play like normal kids. I had to always be in my home or at the hospital. If I was out in public, it was for a very short time. My grandparents had a summer house on the water and I had to always wear a t-shirt and be soaked in sunblock. Sometimes my Poppy would make me wear his bucket hat. So embarrassing.  It was upsetting watching all the other kids playing and `I had to be controlled all the time. The worse experience I had was being told six months after remission that there were leukemic cells growing again and I was told that I may have to get a bone marrow transplant. I thought my life was over. I remember seeing those kids and they were worse off than me. I looked ill, they looked deathly. It ended up that it was normal for leukemic cells to resurface and I was in the clear. I never had to loose all my hair, although my hair did thin out. I missed all of 4th grade and I had a tutor. I was so sick that sometimes my tutor would just come and let me nap. School was really hard for me because I pretty much missed all of 4th grade and it was hard to bounce back. My mother was the soul caretaker of me at the time and due to the amount of attention needed to address my illness, my younger brother had to be bounced around from family member to family member. I used to have a book that I took pictures of hospital staff and hospital patients and many of the children have passed in that book. 

In addition, the medication I was on affected my brain chemistry so it is very hard for me to focus and stay on track. I have a hard time paying attention during conversations. A lot of times my mind just goes blank and I just look dumb founded. I also have  hard time expressing my thoughts verbally where ill stop mid-thought and have to think about what I was talking about in the first place. It is very hard to socialize and be professional with my “chemo brain.” College was where I first stared to notice I was different. Not only was I attending a private school while in a sorority with a lower-middle class background that made it hard for me to relate, I also struggled fit in due to my lack of communication skills. I had my own pledge sister say to me verbatim, “Val’s brain is like wind,” and she proceeded to make a gestural gust of wind.  I have had my own friends that I grew up with make comments alluding to me being “slow.”  

June 24th this year will be my 20 year anniversary. I have had many wonderful experiences since. But not everything has been rainbows and butterflies either. I also continued to experience adversity.  I will continue to write about the good, the bad and the ugly in my following blogs so you can see how a child who lived traumatic experiences (more to come) fought through hardship.  Life is beautiful, but life is also hard and it is not always perfect, but it is important to never give up. 

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"Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart’s in it, and live the phrase ‘sky’s the limit.'” Biggie Smalls . . . #prague #eastcost #bloging #biggiesmalls #nodreamistoobig #europe #livingabroad #czechrepublic #czechia #newcitynewme #newyorktoeurope 🇺🇸 (at Prague, Czech Republic)

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You CAN Knock The Hustle

I always envisioned “Twenty-Great” would be the year I am settled down with a husband, house and kids. Welp I have none of that. I was working FOUR jobs at one point. Oh and did I mention that one of my FOUR jobs was fulltime! In addition, I have my masters degree! LMSW what??? Well that did not cut it to get by as a single female in NY living on her own. I come from suburbia Long Island where you can live with your parents until you die. Well, not for me due to the fact that my dad lives in Florida with his mother and my mom lives .... well i never really know her whereabouts. She struggles just like me. So here I am, doing what I thought was right. Went to school to get an education to then just be imprisoned by financial institutions to dictate my life! They don’t teach you that in school. They just teach you to be part of the real world, not how to survive. I was 18 just signing off on things without having any idea it would bite me in the ass later on. I felt like everyday was another disappointment. Each time I would get a little more money in my bank account, I would just loose it the next day from whatever bill it was that I owed, which would in turn turn into an overdraft. I could never win. I work an eight hour shift just to go back to work. Everyday seemed like Groundhogs Day. Not many of my friends could relate. I remember some weekends I would have 12 dollars in my bank account until I got paid again in a week and me and my friend would buy 10 dollar wine and a pizza to split. Thats how I enjoyed life. I just wanted to be normal like then and be able to do things like normal twenty somethings i.g. go out to dinner, go shopping, go to a club. Nope, I had to restrict myself. I felt like I was drowning. The exhaustion was like treading underwater, and my money being eaten in my bank account was like not being able to breathe. I decided to splurge for my 28th birthday and I have been wanting to go to Arizona, but `i always find another trip e.g. cruise, Ecuador. This time I went to Europe! I know, how silly of me to be spending money on a trip, well trust be there were montary $$$ consequences. I reached out to an old classmate from graduate school and he said come visit! Well, the thing is we used to date in graduate school (23) but when he dropped me to watch football I said boy bye! Oh wait and my part was that I did not hold his hand in the haunted house. Well this trip ended up turning into a romantic getaway plus an opportunity of a lifetime! The week I came for my birthday, a girl quit and I was asked to interview at a small international school! I said NO WAY! I ended up getting the offer and said That is crazy; I am not going!!!!! Now here I am living in the Czech Republic working one job and having time to myself! I have picked up baking, increasing my Spanish profeciency and clearly blogging will be my new endevoer. I remember thinking the last time I visited how crazy these teachers must be to hop around countries and teach. Well now I know dam well why! They can build an amazing resume and travel the world without dealing with the day to day struggles Americans face today. I have never felt more I peace.  I I have only been here for a month and a half and I have been to Berlin, Prague, Belgrade and Plisen. If I did not take this oportunity I would have paid Januarys rent and still be broke. Most Americans that I know think your life is limited to working and budgeting for a vacation. At least thats what I thought. Oh yea and the responsible thing of saving money. Well its amazing how blinded some of us are. Your life does not have to be subjected to paying 13 bills. You can still earn  money, pay bills and live an easy life. I just cant believe I did not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I almost said no while I was paying 30 dollars towards dinner and drinks knowining dam well I had to pay my car insurance the next day. The problem is we cant expericne things we are not aware of. Now I am an expat and not sure of where I will adventure off to next. `I wont live this life forever of course. My goal has always been to get out of debt and now I can do so while still having a quality of life. 

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Today was so breathaking. The sights I saw were incredible! We started out going to the orphanage where they held a dance for us. Once I saw the children when we were on the bus still i wanted to cry! They are so innocent yet, they have lived horrible lives, and we are here to help them. They sang their national amthem, and then we sang ours, as we hung up our flag. Then they performed a traditional dance for us. After that, the children pulled us from our chairs and we danced with them in a circle, while there were two donkeys that people rode at various times, including me! I had no idea what i was doing. We then went to the Inca salt mines where its is just hundreds of pools full of salt up on a mountian. The thing that made it more special was that a few children from the orphanage were able to come with us. One girl, Diana, was able to come and i made a connection with her at the orphanage, so then i was elected her babysitter and i was so excited. This girl is scared of nothing, and i so sweet. Anyways these children are not able to go on adventures like we did. Maybe once a year if they are lucky. I was so happy to spend time with them, doing something that they are unable to do so other wise. We went to this place called the Pisaq market, and it is just blocks and blocks of little venders. I was having a hard time resisting, but i am happy with what I got.

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First day was amasing yet exhausting! So much traveling, but so exciting! The best part so far was taking the plane from lima to cusco and seeing the tip of the Andes mountians! So beautiful, noting i have ever seen before. We have yet to really dig deep into our trip, but im excited. Tomorrow we are going to the salt mines, and then to a market. Hello shopping! My next adventures are deff Equdor, India, Gana, and the Philliphnes! I deff did not spell thoses right but they are on my bucket list!

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Pre Peru

I created this account so that people can follow me, and know my whereabouts when I am there!