“ They Don’t Love You Like I Do . . . “

[ 18 — Agender — any prns ] [ Vent / TW account, IWC ] [ OSDD system + more] [MATCHING : @Hvman-eater999] READ INTRO BEFORE DMing

[vamp-luvr999]

⛓️ — Haru / Basil / 001 — Agender/any prns — 18 yrs old — TW: this account is a vent/rant account — 🔪

Introduction to the user — 1.

— Basil / Haru / 001 + other preferred names. Preferred name may change depending on the context and the alter fronting, make sure you ask.

— The user behind this account identifies as the following : Gender Apathetic/Agender, Hyperrose, Neurodivergent, Mentally ill, and Use of any prns.

— User is legally an adult [18 yrs old]. Preferably, be 17 — 21 to DM for talking or friendships. Minors are allowed to interact with everything but posts under [Freakposting.txt].

— User is Fully POC (AA). Heavy on politics (Far Left), Reforment of the government and jailing system, etc.

Get to know the user — BYF / DNI !! — 2.

— DNI : User doesn’t have a do not interact list. [They tend to find them pointless for a multitude of reasons. He tends to respect others DNIs unless you give him a subtle or visible reason to not do so. ]

— BYF : User is Problematic [Pro-para, Neu-Ship, anti-C, RQ neu, Endo-neutral, etc.], User Likes to yap… DMs tend to be spammed with long walls of text, User experiences low/No Emotional empathy and low impulse control, User is also a fucking Yandere pervert??*

— User suffers from a various amount of mental illnesses. They are diagnosed with : BPD, MDD, PTSD, ADHD, etc. They are self diagnosed / medically recognized for : ASPD[with NPD traits], BIID, and an unnamed psychotic disorder.

— If you DM / Message with the intent to make friends, be aware that the user doesn’t see superficial friendships as just that, friendships. He WILL use you and cut you off if you’re no longer useful. That is subject to change the more he gets to know you …

* = User, as a collective, identifies as a IRL yandere. It’s to cope with the feelings BPD causes and the actions that can be taken because of those feelings. He’s a laid back Yandere, but the more he likes you, the more he’ll show his true colors.

Extras — Tags + Misc. info — 3.

— Likes come from @coded-pup + add our Discord [Basilikum_ ]

— To be mutuals, just ask or DM! We don’t bite unless you ask us too, we are well trained!! ^^

— Old pinned post : 🔪⛓️💕

— Yandere MBTI types : CCDCF + LDMT + RMAL

— Our Partner / friendship application : CLOSED FOR RELATIONSHIPS

—>

Tagging system :

- 001.txt — General posts (ex. Rambles, positive posts, neutral posts, reblogs)

- Stfu.001 — Vent / Rant posts (usually accompanied by a TW [topic] tag, this will help understand the content in the post.)

- Freakposting.txt — NSFT tag (Minors and people uncomfortable with this tag, please block it. I am not responsible for your safety, comfort, etc.)

- Reblogs/Retweet/reposts — Reblogging tag (this tag is rarely used, user never reblogs anything)

- 💔.txt — Past FP (favorite person) tag. (Usually tagged with #STFU.001 )

- 🩸🔪⛓️.txt — Current FP (?) (usually tagged with #STFU.001 or #💔.txt)!

—>

Xtra—

Fandoms we participate in : the summer Hikaru died/hikaru ga shinda natsu, The coffin of Andy and Leyley/TCOAAL, Danny Phantom, Given (animanga), Sasaki and Miyano/Sasaki to Miyano, Solo leveling, Blue exorcists, Etc.

[vamp-luvr999]

I refuse to make my own tumblr account. I will not be sucked into the rabbit hole. #boycotttumblr #boycotting

—Icarus, He/him

[vamp-luvr999]

keep your cat inside

I do, man. She only go outside on the porch and she actually hates grass. In fact, she is peak incel. What do we call that? Femcel?

[vamp-luvr999]

I forgot I had this account. I’m in the psych ward, so expect more vent posts I guess.

[vamp-luvr999]

Ngl ya’ll, might buy drain cleaner and blind myself. I’m tired of not being believed and the only coping skills is my itchy eyepatch. I’d rather be blind.

Will update like in a month, if I still have access to my phone lol and if I’m not totally blind fr

[vamp-luvr999]

I keep seeing Byler content and I’ve been a long time shipper of them. The increase has me curious about the new season .. but I dropped stranger things like years ago. So I’d have to catch up and I’m … I don’t want to

If I watch it and it’s not what I think, what do I do? Because I’d have watch like three seasons. I could’ve applied for like social security benefits and gotten approved in the time it would take me to finish the whole thing.

[vamp-luvr999]

I don’t exactly want to get worse. I hate making the people I care about worry. Especially over things I can fix on my own.

But it’s like a need. A need to get worse.

I need to stop taking my meds. I need to listen to the voices. I need to stop eating. I need to stop showering. I need to.

If I continue the way I am, I’ll always be stuck in this horrible limbo state of “severely mentally ill but not enough to warrant any serious treatment.”

I need to get worse.

[vamp-luvr999]

I might get back to posting here but I dunno, I have people I need to text and my brain keeps saying no. Sorry people I need to text, one day, I swear… you could also spam me.

But anyways, now that I really think about it, I think I might have a flat affect or a restricted affect? I mean, it’s a weird situation with me. I still laugh and cry, but mainly when I’m masking with other people like family.

Most of the time, unless I’m truly going through it like depression, I don’t express my emotions outwardly (unless it’s fear.) I’ve had people tell me I should smile more or that my voice is monotone

But I try so hard to make it… likable? Normal? I dunno.

It’s weird, maybe it’s not an affect at all. Maybe I’m just odd. I just thought it might be a schizospec thing because it becomes more prominent with hallucinations.

[vamp-luvr999]

TO EVERYONE I’VE GHOSTED [Especially over the last week] :

Sorry, I forgot how to people. /silly

No literally, I have a flare in psychotic symptoms rn and I’m suffering. It might be a couple more days before I actually get back to talking to anyone. So uhm, if you see this, I’m sorry. Feel free to text. Don’t hate me, thank you. 🙏 trust.

-39

[vamp-luvr999]

TW For toxic NSFW fantasy — trying to sexualize my thoughts again

Taking your suicidal partner (after an unsuccessful attempt) into the bathroom and running water for them, forcing them to strip and sit in the bath. They try to cover themselves but every time they do, they get their hands or arms slapped away.

You give them a blade.

“You want to die so fucking badly, do it right now.”

You watch them press the blade against their wrist, hands shaking, breath ragged and heavy. “I can’t do it.”

You snatch the blade and then their forearm, pressing it against their wrist for them and watching as blood drips for the broken skin.

“You wanted to die? Are you really so incompetent that you can’t do it yourself? Do you need me to do it for you?!”

“Sorry…” they apologize, over and over again. Maybe they were never suicidal in the first place. Maybe they just wanted out of this sick relationship. This sick situation.

You pull them into a hug, their body wet and shaking. “Don’t ever try to do something like that again, what don’t you understand by I need you.”

They nod, tears falling from their eyes. “Okay.”

“I love you. Don’t ever forget that.”

[vamp-luvr999]

I want to slap and beat someone until they’re gasping for air. But realistically, if I did that, I’d stop half way through and beg for forgiveness for being a disgusting pervert who gets off at your pain. I’d cry like I was the one being beat half way to death. You’d have to comfort me and hug me, ignoring the world of pain you’re in just to make sure I don’t start hurting myself and spiraling.

I dunno. I’m just pathetic like that. This is why everything I say, I feel gross about afterwards.

[vamp-luvr999]

Once again, I am sexualizing my mental pain… #Freak💔

—???, they/them

[vamp-luvr999]

All I do is ruin. Everything I look at or touch eventually goes bad. If I killed myself now, at this very moment, people would mourn me. But not because they miss me or that they have positive memories of me, but because they spent so long making sure I didn’t kill myself. All that progress Gone.

Nobody had positive memories of me currently.

Maybe my parents from when we were younger. But that girl is long gone. She died when her innocence was forcefully taken from her. She was reborn and lives to die.

If I died now, everyone would

Get over it in a span of a year. Nobody would remember me. Nobody would.

Why can’t I just do it already

[vamp-luvr999]

I can’t believe I’m this pathetic. I’m actually thinking about it. I’m no good. I’m better off dead. I know this for a fact.

I just want to do it and bleed out in the bathroom.

But what if I fail.

What if get scared

I’m not going anywhere.

I can’t go anywhere.

But I don’t want to pass this opportunity either

Fuck

What should I do? God someone tell me what I should do

I’m so fucking tired

[vamp-luvr999]

I’d be fucking lucky to reach my early 20s. I want to. I want to live.

But the other half of me craves freedom. I don’t want to do this anymore. But no matter how much I scream, cry, and beg, I’m still alone. No matter what I do, I’ll always be alone

The only person who could truly end it is me and I’m too scared.

How pathetic. So pathetic it’s funny.

[vamp-luvr999]

I WANT TO GIVE UP. I DONT WANT TO SUFFER ANYMORE. I’M FUCKING TIRED. DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?! I’M. TIRED.

I WANT TO FUCKING DIE.

[vamp-luvr999]

My biggest red flag is that I kind of kin Punpun from Oyasumi punpun…