'Tis I, Your Local Idiot

She/They. The name's Mat. Find me going crazy about fake people in my alt blog at @a-fast-rebloger (www.tumblr.com/a-fast-rebloger)

[nyurakim]

mandarin 🍊

[sakana-no-yama]

[fellator]

this fetish stuff is getting out of hand what the fuck is word play

[fuckyeahcoelacanths]

Coelacanth Sticker For Fans of Evolution by LystrosaurusStudio

[pocketmilo]

a world without trans people has never existed and never will 🌎 ✨

[perriaeyjeve]

[lake-erie]

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

[football-in-tuxedos]

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

[thisisalovestry]

file -> phrases that are going to shift something in me forever

[insomniparty]

[rainformation]

formative years? aren’t they all?

[absolutejamer]

show me a permanent self and i will show you a facade or a corpse

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's actually so crazy how much the simpsons would fucking suck if it didn't have any of the simpsons characters. just a bunch of shots of empty houses and streets for half an hour while nothing happens. that would be so badddd lol

[auroroboros1]

yeah that tends to happen when you remove characters from media. without characters its all just background. i guess movies set in scenic locations would still land as kinda nature docs but even then

[dragongirlsweetie]

it only happens with the simpsons

[auroroboros1]

this same criticism could be applied to nearly any media ever.

[dragongirlsweetie]

it's just the simpsons. are you a troll?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Dragon's right, if you remove all the Simpsons characters from Death Note it hardly changes anything

[nina-iseri]

extremely evocative textbook diagram

[king-carnivore]

[redstonedust]

we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[transgenderer]

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

[urie]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Tried to tip a tumblr blog at 1am and it was such a suspicious transaction it immediately put a full fraud freeze on my account

Fortunately, banks no longer just ask 'did you make that transaction' they want to make sure you weren't scammed into making that transaction and 5mins after their call will give away all your money anyway.

This is an honest to goodness life saving movement and I cannot be happier banks are adopting it

Unfortunately, it meant I had to have the most embarrassing financial call of my life

-

Me: Ah yeah I was just trying to tip a tumblr blog

Cash: right and were you directed there by a Facebook link? An Instagram advert?

Me: no I was just on tumblr...on purpose

-

Caah: and this person asked you for money?

Me: oh no they just had a funny story, which happened to be about money and I thought, "wouldn't it be funny if I tipped them"

-

Me: * covering a reblog by reblog update on the adventures my mutual was having *

Cash: okay I don't think that can actually happen though..

Me: It might not have, but i was happy to tip them just because it was funny

-

Cash: and how well do you think you know this person?

Me: *considers explaining how much I know about a beloved mutual without ever knowing their name or face* ... I have no idea who this person is

I think in the end Cash decided there was no saving me from myself

[dungeon-moss]

[itsdappleagain]

[itsdappleagain]

people in my replies arguing for their fav white guy???