'Tis I, Your Local Idiot

She/They. The name's Mat. Find me going crazy about fake people in my alt blog at @a-fast-rebloger (www.tumblr.com/a-fast-rebloger)

[bobdylanyaoi]

[gauntletqueen]

Never gonna forgive Disney for making people think Alice had a good time at that tea party

[gauntletqueen]

Does this look like the face of a child who is having a good time?

[im-mender]

Alice at that party

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

#the fury of a child never given a straight answer

She is gonna beat that man to death with a teapot

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[discodyke-dogthing]

[b0nkcreat]

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

[commanderchr1st]

This is my uncle. There are many like him, but this one is mine.

My uncle is my best friend. He is my life. I must master him as I must master my life.

[fullrnetalwindbreaker]

WITHOUT ME MY UNCLE IS USELESS

WITHOUT MY UNCLE I AM USELESS

[utopians]

I consider myself a real hater but sometimes you really do go too far with haterism. once I had to break mutuals with someone bc they hated the entire art form of poetry and the final straw was when they started hateposting about soup. The food

[bluestockingbaby]

[jame7t]

I’ve been showing my hamster your blog and it seems to really like it, biting at the screen. I also have a hamster(the small animal kind) too and he seems to like your blog as well

the fuck is the first hamster then

[goetic-justice]

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

[goetic-justice]

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

[biglawbear]

"these deadly heatwaves aren't getting ANY media attention!!"

Babe it's been front page news all week. France, India, all of them. Please read the news somewhere other than Tumblr

For fucks sake we have an aging userbase there's no excuse for not reading the news on actual news websites anymore. NPR, PBS, AP, even CNN for godssakes I'm so fucking sick of "NOBODY is talking about this!!" you are all children

[vamptits]

it's just really apparent that people think it's okay to want pain but morally abhorrent to want to give it. sorry but the sadist gets to have fun too. it's actually pretty crucial to the process.

[vamptits]

if I said I was going to a taekwondo class would you feel the need to tell me kicking people on the street is bad or.

[whoopsie-collective]

Image ID: A screenshot of a tumblr comment that says "yeah, its only abhorrent imo, when the recipient is non consenting, i've" the screenshot cuts off.

[dogspouse]

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

after my last concussion I had this weird thing for a few weeks where I like, didn't want to get hurt? like if I thought I might get hurt doing something that made me not want to do it. has anyone else ever experienced this?

[neatlymanifolded]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Let’s make tea

Tea

Water

Sugar

Honey

Milk/Cream

Lavender

Edible Glitter

Voting ended onApr 27

Do it for him

[drax-the-vampire-king]

Its time

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Yep

⅓ cup water

5 ⅓ teaspoon half and half

17.5 teaspoons of edible glitter

2 tablespoons plus 0.85 teaspoons of lavender syrup

2 tablespoons plus 1 teaspoon of honey

Only thing left to calculate is the tea itself

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

36 tea bags

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Okay so in the end I was only able to steep 20 tea bags in intervals before I had to stop out of concern that I may stop getting water back

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

That being said I did lick the spoon clean that I used to mix it but I’m chalking it up to a brief tea induced moment of insanity since it is very bad tasting, I’m currently wondering if I can cook it into something so it doesn’t go to waste

[silverasks]

I would like to suggest trying to make bread with it

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

You win

It’s in the oven now, it blends in with the pan it’s in

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

It changed colors in the oven

Admittedly this tastes way better than it did on its own, it’ll probably be palatable with jelly or something

[drax-the-vampire-king]

The slice looks like a brownie

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

It honestly looked creepily like mostly cooked ground beef in person when I first cut into it

[oleanderthoughts]

*asks tumblr to help make tea

*Tumblr makes bread instead

Sounds about right

[hrrkikshoard]

[trix-the-artemis]

For context,

Torment Nexus : "an idea that is so bad and dangerous in theory and practice that its indistinguishable from capitalist satire".

Luddite event : After the creation of textile machines (which produced fabric at a lower quality but faster rate while being dangerous to operate), textile mills fired a huge amount of their workforce leading to the remaining workers becoming overworked. A Luddite event thus in this context is "an innovation that is exaggerated to excuse mistreatment of the workforce".

[medievaljournalist]

Could you do a post about the foolish emperor

im not saying shit about the emperor are you crazy that guys got like a hundred wizards on payroll. one wrong word & im getting hit with something called 'eightfold mutilation'

[selkypostergirl]

love my downward spiral :) #myspiral #descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

#descending

[selkypostergirl]

[selkypostergirl]

[actionpainting-deactivated20231]

my nephews lunch that he packed

[rnelodyy]

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of Pepsi.]

[puppygirllaika]

that's arugula

[ceo-of-lesbians]

[ID: A lunchbox containing a handful of loose lettuce and a half-empty bottle of arugula]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: c tat ac [: A c ctag a a ttc a a a-t tt .] tat' aga [: A c ctag a a ttc a a a-t tt aga]

Closest match: Polygonum aviculare genome assembly, chromosome: 2 Common name: Prostrate Knotweed

(image source)

[bimstown]

jimothy my cryptid son