refs

for me so I can keep them somewhere

[various-resources-to-remember]

[various-resources-to-remember]

[various-resources-to-remember]

[various-resources-to-remember]

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[a6]

[salparadisewasright-deactivated]

[effeminate-ephemera]

[confusionofconfusions-deactivat]

[meatcrimes]

[adhdxxsdiary]

A female with ADHD may be less hyperactive and less impulsive than her male counterpart.

Instead she may present with more subtle symptoms such as being disorganized, scattered, forgetful, introverted, withdrawn and socially isolated.

She may have great difficulty keeping her focus on tasks, becoming side-tracked and easily distracted by things around her or even by her own thoughts.

It may take her a little longer to process information, so that she appears “slow” or “spacey” or “flighty”, when in fact she may be highly intelligent.

She may have a low tolerance for stress, feel extremely sensitive to criticism, and work hard to conform to adult expectations in hopes of gaining approval from others.

She may have a hard time saying “no” to others, over committing to responsibilities that she cannot fulfill.

It may be difficult for her to make firm decisions on even simple tasks, so that she seems wishy-washy and indecisive.

Problem solving situations can become overwhelming and she may often find herself stuck, experiencing a sense of paralysis, unable to move forward at all.

Managing her time can be quite a challenge, as well, and “running late” may be her norm.

She may also be hypersensitive to her environment – the noise, the sights, even touch – and quickly become overloaded, “shutting down” and unable to function.

She may feel and incredible sense of shame, berating herself for not “living up to her potential

[various-resources-to-remember]

[missmentelle]

How to Use a Male Condom

I just had to explain this to a 24-year-old who has been sexually active for years, so we’re all getting a refresher course in condom use before we give each other fucking gonorrhea.  Step One: Acquire a condom. No money? No problem. If you wander close enough to a planned parenthood, someone will throw them at your face. Got money? Good for you. Go buy them. Get them ribbed or studded or kumquat-scented or whatever the hell you kids are into these days. Get them fucking glow-in-the-dark for all I care. Just make sure they fit. And whatever you do, don’t use them after their expiration date and don’t store them in your goddamn wallet. Step Two: Get a willing partner. And I don’t mean like “Yeah, sure, whatever, I guess I’m okay with this” willing. A shrug and an awkward silence isn’t fucking good enough. You need someone with goddamn enthusiasm. You need someone who hungers for your loins like a starving cheetah eyeing a piece of zebra ass. Them begging you for it is optional, but kind of fun.  Step Three: Open the condom. Like a human. With your fingers. Ripping it open with your teeth like a starving hyena is not only bad for your teeth, it’s an awesome way to rip a hole in the damn thing. Any sex appeal you might have somehow gotten from chewing the condom open will immediately evaporate when you’re spitting out lube and reaching for a second condom. Just open it properly.  Step Four: Figure out which way it goes. Seriously. Condoms aren’t like toilet paper rolls, where there’s a right way and an incorrect-but-I-guess-it-will-do way to put them on. There is one correct way only. Look at it. When you put something hard and penis-shaped into the tip, it should roll right down with minimum effort. Pay attention, because if you put this thing on backwards, there’s no turning it inside-out and trying again - you have to throw that shit out and start over.  Step Five: Before you put it on, pinch the reservoir! You know, that little balloon-y tip on the end? Pinch it. Push out all the air, and hold it. Your condom should have less air than the surface of the moon. Forgetting to pinch the reservoir is a recipe for a broken condom, and nobody has the time or energy to deal with that shit.  Step Six: Roll it on. Stick it on the head of the penis, and roll it down until the whole shaft is covered. Penis not erect? You’re not ready for a condom, play with it a little and try again. Accidentally put in on backwards? Throw that shit out and start again. Condom doesn’t roll down without yanking on it? It’s too small, throw that shit out and get a different size. Condom fitting too loosely and not staying put? It’s too big, throw that shit out and get a different size. Were you actually in need of a female condom? Throw the male one out and get the right one.  Step Seven: Have at it. Do the thing. If you feel the condom slipping or if it comes off completely, you need to stop immediately and go back to steps one to three. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. And if one of you changes your mind about continuing, you stop right the fuck now. Immediately.  Step Eight: When you’re done, the person wearing the condom has to grab it by the base, and pull it all the way out. You’re gonna go soft after that, and if you let the condom slip off before you’re all the way out, then you just let a lot of package-opening and rubber-unrolling skills go to waste. And once you do take it off, wrap it up in toilet paper and toss it in the trash - don’t you dare flush it, your plumbing will not be happy with you. So that’s it, folks. That’s how you put a condom on a penis that needs to have a condom on it. Play safe out there, people. 

[thechekhov]

*this is especially important: these days on Tumblr there’s a wonderful atmosphere of being able to talk openly about your mental illness or your struggle. And that’s great! But there’s a difference between sharing in order to help yourself and other people and sharing just because you have no other coping mechanisms. As much as you’re able, try to work on developing a different outlet. People aren’t qualified to be your therapist because they’re nice to you a couple of times. Please remember that they have lives too, and their job is not to make you feel better or pity you, no matter how difficult your life is. 

And last but not least: 

But… 

I really don’t have a way to better this. 

Your interests are your own. I can’t advise anyone to change their interests to fit in with a certain group of people - that’s stupid, and actually quite damaging to your sense of self. 

Instead, I would recommend that, maybe if you feel like your topics of conversation are falling flat with this group of people, you move on to other, greener pastures. There are bound to be places where your ideas mesh better with an audience. 

And of course - try to be considerate about what you say and how you say it. 

Sometimes, what might seem like a harmless comment to you might be a very discomforting thought to another person. I recently had a conversation on a forum with a guy who was telling me that his headcanon was that Pearl (from SU) would soon get a male love interest who loved mechanics and weapons next, and that would be her best arc, because she would finally get a ‘healthy’ love interest. 

His intentions were good, but he was entirely unaware of how cringey this kind of thing was to a bunch of (probably queer) people, who have spent their entire lives being told that the only ‘good’ character development for them would be to get a ‘male love interest’. No one wanted to be the jerk to say “fuck off, we don’t want that to happen” but everyone was answering him in a flat way, trying to discourage the discussion further. Instead of picking up on the hint, he bulldozed on, thinking he was having a ‘lively conversation’ which was, in fact, in its late stages of death. 

I know I’ll probably get a few messages to this saying: What about people on the Autistic Spectrum? Sometimes, people can’t pick up social cues or ‘hints’. And if that’s the case, it’s incredibly difficult to understand why you’re not having any luck communicating despite your best efforts. 

I feel that on a person level, please believe me. I made this infograph for THAT VERY REASON. Because I WAS that awkward kid who didn’t pick up on hints well. In fact, I still have trouble talking to people. If any of you have had the misfortune of being my conversational partner, you’ll know that I tend to be overly blunt and come off as very unfriendly. It’s something that I, myself, am working on currently in order to grow into a better person. It’s a struggle in progress, but I am aiming towards the progress side, and I just wanted to help out others while I was at it. 

[the-real-seebs]

This is a really good starting guide to the social skills everyone thinks you should have just picked up magically.

So, yes, this is exactly the advice I think autistic people would benefit from; it actually tells you concrete, actionable, things you could do. I wish someone had told me this stuff when I was a kid.

[bedbugbiting]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[bomberqueen17]

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask. 

[derryderrydown]

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

[petralemaitre]

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

[airagorncharda]

It’s also really important to get this kind of scale to people who have chronic pain, because chronic pain drastically lowers your perception of how “bad” any kind of pain actually is, and yet something like this pain scale is extremely user friendly. 

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day. 

There’s also a similarly useful “Fatigue Scale”

[jedijenkins]

I haven’t been below a 5 on this scale for 4 years 

[nerdgasrnz]

Here’s the fatigue scale

[sunny-day-sky]

Fatigue scale image desc:

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

1: going clubbing!

[eruvadhril]

See also the Mental Health Pain Scale by Graceful Patient:

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 - The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

[kingspadedying]

These are so important! SO SO IMPORTANT SHARE THIS AND SAVE IT TO SHOW YOUR DOCTORS!

[thatautisticadhdfeel]

The fatigue scale always fucks me up. I’m averaging at 5 on that

[various-resources-to-remember]

[newsmutproject]

Finalists - Good Sex Awards

Finalists Below are the 45 Good Sex Awards finalists, with 10 in Sexiest Consent, which received the largest number of submissions, and 5 in our other categories: Sexy Talk, Feminist Sex, Best Kink, Best Use of Sex Toys, Best LGBTQI Scene, Thought Leadership, and Fan Fiction. You may vote for a winner or winner and […]

Big congratulations to Jem Zero and D. Fostalove, whose stories “A Study in Circuits and Charcoal” and “Touch” from Erato are finalists for the Good Sex Awards!

“A Study in Circuits and Charcoal” is a finalist for Best Feminist Sex. You can read it here and read Jem Zero’s interview about zir story here on our blog

“Touch” is a finalist for Best Sexy Talk. You can read it here and read D. Fostalove’s interview about his story here on our blog.

Finalist stories are candidates for the Good Sex Award’s Readers’ Choice Award–you can read all stories on the Good Sex Award website and cast your votes here! 

[newsmutproject]

The deadline for Readers’ Choice Award ballots is June 20, so you still have some time to check these stories out and cast your vote!

[theglintoftherail]

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: A TEXT GAME - Mallory Ortberg

WHY ARE YOU LONELY: CHOOSE ONE

FAILED TO NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS BORN OUT OF CONVENIENCE ONCE CHANGING CIRCUMSTANCES REQUIRED ACTIVE PARTICIPATION FROM YOU

WATCHED NETFLIX FOR SEVEN HOURS INSTEAD OF SLEEPING BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONCE AGAIN MISTAKEN INERTIA FOR REST

CONFUSED “SELF-CARE” WITH “SELF-INDULGENCE” AGAIN; YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF EXPERIENCING GENUINE REFRESHMENT OR RESTORATION BUT YOU DO SPEND A LOT OF MONEY AT NAIL SALONS

ONCE AGAIN CONFUSED “EMPATHY” FOR “TAKING RESPONSIBILITY” AND INVITED OTHERS TO UNLOAD THEIR EMOTIONAL BURDENS ON YOU WITHOUT FIRST ENSURING RECIPROCITY, WHOOPS

ANTICIPATORILY BLAMED OTHER PEOPLE FOR NOT CALLING YOU WITHOUT ONCE ASKING YOURSELF WHY YOU CAN’T CALL THEM

ASSUMING ANY TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU HAD TO INITIATE IS SOMEHOW LESS AUTHENTIC THAN REQUESTS FOR TIME SPENT TOGETHER THAT YOU ACCEPT

BELIEVE “PERIODICALLY EXPERIENCING THE HUMAN CONDITION” MEANS SOMETHING IS FUNDAMENTALLY BROKEN WITHIN YOU

CONSTANTLY LIE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS THEN WONDER WHY YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE KNOWS YOU

MISTAKENLY BELIEVE THAT NEGATIVE FEELINGS MUST BE MISTAKES EITHER TO BE AVOIDED OR FIXED RATHER THAN EXPERIENCED

DESIRE TO BE FULLY UNDERSTOOD WITHOUT THE CONCOMITANT WILLINGNESS TO FULLY EXPLAIN YOURSELF

BELIEVE TRYING AT SOMETHING A LITTLE BIT SHOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PERFECTION AND FIND YOURSELF HORRIFIED AND ASHAMED OF MAKING REALISTIC PROGRESS

TRY COCONUT OIL

CONVINCED THAT HONESTLY ADMITTING YOUR PROBLEMS WILL DRIVE PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES COMPLAINING SO INSTEAD YOU OFFER EVERYONE A PISS-POOR SIMULACRUM OF BEING EASY-GOING

STILL JUST WAITING FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN TO YOU INSTEAD OF EXPRESSING YOUR DESIRES ALOUD

THINK YOU’RE BEING PLAYFUL BUT ACTUALLY YOU JUST GET MEAN WHEN YOU DRINK

SPEND ALL YOUR TIME SAYING THINGS LIKE “EITHER’S GOOD” OR “DOESN’T MATTER TO ME” WHEN IN FACT ONLY ONE THING IS GOOD AND IT DOES MATTER TO YOU BUT YOU THINK “NOT EXPRESSING A PREFERENCE” IS THE BEST PERSONALITY TRAIT YOU HAVE TO OFFER OTHERS

PEOPLE ACTUALLY MORE AWARE OF YOUR BARELY-CONCEALED CONTEMPT FOR THEIR CHOICES AND RELATIONSHIPS THAN YOU THINK THEY ARE

NO GOOD REASON, SORRY

Mallory Ortberg plz stop laying my psyche bare for the world to see

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

So I was taught a lesson in how to get rid of a migraine in 30 seconds and omfg listen my migraines don’t go away ever but I was shown what part of my body to touch and like???????????????

It’s witchcraft????????? Like I would be burned at the stake if I lived in ye olde days knowing that information?????

What the fuck??????

[countrygirlil2015]

Spill it! Lol….Hooooowwwww?? Had migraines since age 9….😓😓😓

[scaredykyleisgonnagosoon]

Its called the T4 push, but I literally can’t find the info online????? I guess I’m not searching good enough? These medical fuckers are holdin out on us lol.

It’s best to have someone do this for you while you stand up and relax your muscles as best you can, but if you’re alone, a tennis ball and a flat surface will probably work. Alternatively you can lie on the edge of a bed at the pressure point. (But no really do try to find someone to do it for you)

Find the area in your spine between either the first, second, third, or fourth vertebrae. It should be sore and uncomfortable to press down on, so look for the one that’s most painful, and press down with as much pressure as you can on that area for 30 seconds.

Realize that 80% of your pain has magically disappeared and keep the info secret if you live in a small puritan town, lest you be tried for witchcraft.

If you don’t have to worry about being burned or hanged, then share the info with your migraine suffering friends.

[systlin]

As someone who wrote a 10k word paper on pressure points for a high belt ranking test in her martial arts class, I can tell you that you just found a pressure point used in acupressure and acupuncture to relieve pain, particularly that in the head. :)

[arirashkae]

Hand to god we discovered this by accident when my husband was rubbing my neck and I nearly collapsed it felt so good

[blame-my-muses]

This post was sent by literal angels??? I’ve had a persistent low-level headache for nearly 24hrs and now it’s gone??? In 30 seconds? What gods did you sacrifice to for this information!?!?

[river-rider-with-cats-deactivat]

As a medical massage therapist, I thought I would give my two cents.

This is good for tension migranes and normal migraines, but actually pretty useless for sinus migraines. It’ll help for a hot second, but quickly come back. (These are usually the migraines behind your eyes, in your ears, and behind your forehead. Sometimes it can feel like jaw pain or TMJ) for sinus migraines, behind the ear in a divot. Press down firmly and pull towards your collarbone. That’ll drain your sinuses. Also, pressing around the eye socket on the cheekbones help. There is also a little triangle up away from the eye in the eyebrow bone. Press and hold pretty hard and that’ll relieve that behind the forehead pain. Also, ear pulling is great to help move sinuses around.

Don’t forget the temples too! Press firmly and hold. Open and close your jaw while holding your temples. It’ll feel weird, but it’ll help with jaw pain. It’ll work a similar way if you hold the jaw joint under your cheekbone.

And never underestimate the power of a foot massage!! Give minutes can be all the difference!! Our feet are our base. If they hurt even a little, somewhere else in your body will hurt. Treat your feet and sinuses kindly!

[thenudewitchofthenorth]

As a lifelong sufferer from frequent migraines I will reblog this everytime I see it, for myself and my fellow sufferers!!

[transcatboybussy]

one time I was complaining about headaches and body pain (before I knew I had eds) and went to see a chiropractor and she said my big toe was off and reset it and then my headache went away

the human body is all connected and even if the smallest thing is off it will hurt everywhere else and it’s annoying

she also reset the little plate bone things at the roof of my mouth that having braces moved out of place? which will give u headaches? it was weird she just stuck her fingers in my mouth and pressed on the roof moving things around (with gloves on)

anyways dont bash chiropractors/acupuncturists/any old pain treatment things theres a reason why they’ve been around for so long

[various-resources-to-remember]

[bakwaaas]

wow

[endless-ramblings]

10 Facts I’ve Learned About Murder:

I was lucky enough to talk to an actual pathologist and figured I’d put together a list of highlights that may be vaguely interesting or useful for writers (this is particularly relevant for crime writers, but some of this may come up in other genres). 

Heads up, while there’s no super gory descriptions if you’re REALLY squeamish it may not be for you:

1. Hyoid Bone

The hyoid bone is located in your neck, sort of hidden under your chin. To give you a sense of how easy it is to damage this bone, it was described to me as being a little bit stronger than a wish bone. As a general rule, manual strangulation WILL fracture the hyoid bone.

Keep reading

[theliteraryarchitect]

10 Magazines to Send Your Short Fiction for Publication

I thought this list might be helpful for all my followers that write short fiction. I pulled these 10 magazines from Duotrope’s list of “top 100 most approachable fiction markets.” Approachable means they have a relatively high acceptance rate compared to other markets in Duotrope’s database.

I’m not endorsing these magazines and I haven’t vetted them, I’m just sharing for anyone who can’t or doesn’t want to pay the $5/month subscription fee for Duotrope. You’ll need to look them up and find out what kind of stuff they want, deadlines, word count limits, etc.

Adelaide Literary Magazine

Scarlet Leaf Review

50-Word Stories

Potato Soup Journal

Fiction on the Web

Writers Resist

X-R-A-Y Literary Magazine

Theme of Absence

Utopia Science Fiction Magazine

Bewildering Stories

Spelk

Remember that if you submit to one of these and they reject you it doesn’t mean anything. Even though they are considered “approachable” a lot of things can skew those statistics, and there are lots of reasons editors reject stories (not enough space, not their style, too similar to another story in the same issue) that has nothing to do with the quality of your writing. Whatever you do don’t stop writing.

Hope this helps xoxo