so, i'm a cis woman, but i'm often mistaken for a trans woman. i spent a couple of years transitioning but decided it wasn't for me, and now i am very happy with my identity as a woman because i feel like i got to choose it after thoroughly exploring my options.
in the process of transitioning, i changed my legal name and gender to a masc name and male, and i currently can't afford to change them back. i have some noticeable effects of testosterone like a lower voice and facial hair that i shave regularly, but on the whole, i'm read as a cis woman everywhere i go.
however, because of my legal documents, i regularly end up in situations where people assume i am a trans woman and make things difficult for me. when people see things like my id, passport, etc. (usually these are people at work or in medical contexts) and assume i am a trans woman, i experience the following things:
people asking invasive questions about my genitals and sex life at the workplace
people assigning me more physically strenuous or unpleasant tasks than those assigned to other cis women
people suddenly finding it difficult to use my correct name and pronouns even if i introduced myself to them as a cis woman
people refusing to use my correct name and/or misgendering me on things like work schedules and other publicly visible documents and systems
people talking about me behind my back and generally creating a hostile social dynamic that isolates and others me in the workplace
all of these microaggressions are extremely uncomfortable to deal with and have caused me a lot of mental distress that makes it hard for me to function.
HOWEVER! i am still not the primary target of transmisogyny! my asab is essentially a get-out-of-jail-free card. there are aspects of transmisogyny that i will never have to deal with. if i am arrested, i will never have to worry about v-coding. i will never have to deal with the medical and financial hoops trans women have to jump through in order to access transition care. i do not have to worry about passing. i do not have to worry about the social ramifications of being someone who comes out as a trans woman. there's more beyond that, too, that's just a few examples.
that's not even acknowledging the fact that people who learn my backstory simply look at my situation in a completely different and much more sympathetic light than the way they view trans women! to conservatives, i look like a poor booboogirl who was misled into transition but thankfully made it out. i'm pitied and infantilized even though i have not experienced and will not ever experience the level of danger that trans women experience on the daily.
i am tme! if i get hit with stray transmisogyny bullets, it doesn't change the fact that there is another woman getting hit with them intentionally and at full force, and i still hold significantly more privilege than that woman. i still held this privilege when people read me as a trans man!
it's bonkers to me that anybody would try to deny that trans women are uniquely targeted and marginalized. even though i am in a social position where i am frequently assumed to be a trans woman, there are so, so many aspects of oppression and violence that i know i will not experience.
idk. i wanted to write this post because i think a lot of my fellow tme people need to learn how to use their eyes and ears and brains and actually look at the way the world works. so hopefully it has that effect. please, and i mean this sincerely, please use my experiences as an example of why tme people, regardless of any other extraordinary circumstances, are not the primary targets of transmisogyny and thus still have privilege over trans women.
