Laur

[velvetcharms]

The War: Lily Evans x James Potter

In which Lily Evans pursues James Potter, not out of interest but for information about the escalating war.

After double checking three times, Lily Evans was officially ready to go back to Hogwarts. Her prefect badge, which she was immensely proud of, was glittering from its spot above her chest. Her straight, red hair gently framed the edges of her sharp face.

It was her first day back to Hogwarts, her fifth year, and it felt different than the years before. With the war arising, she had felt unwelcome in the world of magic. She loved Hogwarts, and the friends she had there; that was constant, and the reason she persevered at all. But the magical world was changing. She had thought it had been a small, terrible thing with Severus. Naively hoped that life would return back to how it was in childhood, but Mary wrote about the terrible rumors she heard when visiting Diagon Alley.

Death Eaters, Mary wrote, that's what Voldemort's supporters call themselves. Severus has to be one of them, with how much he goes around disliking everyone, but I am not sure how to tell. Let's just say, I don't trust any of the Slytherins.

She turned off her bedroom light, quietly bidding goodbye to the Muggle books she would be leaving behind and the posters of her favorite singers. As she descended down the stairs, she spotted her sister Petunia on the sofa. Petunia's eyes slightly peeked over the rim of her mug to gaze sternly at Lily. She set the mug down with impatient force as her lips pressed firmly together.

“What is it?” Lily asked, annoyed.

She didn’t think she could handle another argument with her sister. Lily had never wanted this bridge that the Wizarding World seemed to create between them. Petunia constantly shamed her for being a wizard, but Lily never asked to be one, after all.

And the magical world wasn’t all that it was claimed to be. While most of it was so good, the other half of its greatness was not for her to enjoy. It belonged to people like James or Sirius. She could never explain that sort of thing to Petunia. Partly because she didn’t have the words and partly because Petunia never listened.

Petunia lifted her chin slightly, “You’re going back, then?”

Lily scoffed in defense, although, she did begin to feel a little silly at the carriage beside her, filled with all sorts of magical books and her wand.

“Of course I’m going back," she replied anyway.

“Well, if you’d like to, of course,” Petunia said simply, “Where's Severus to pick you up? Actually, I haven’t seen much of Severus these days.”

Lily stared at her sharply. She had missed Severus' presence, despite it all. But that friendship was over.

Her mother interrupted her thought as she emerged out of the kitchen, with a steaming mug of coffee. She was still in her mint green robe and had pink curlers woven in her brunette hair.

Lily took the mug gratefully and leaned into her mother's tight hug.

"I made some eggs in the kitchen," she said to which Lily smiled.

"We eat when we get there," Lily shrugged simply, but her mother looked scornful.

"That won't be until hours!"

Lily watched as her mother went back into the kitchen and came back with a donut. She took it with a playful roll of her eyes as she sat on the arm of the couch, far enough away as to not disturb Petunia, who eyeing her carriage with distaste. Lily ate and sipped her coffee quietly, pretending not to notice.

The rest of the hour was spent driving to the train station. Her father drove their minivan as her mother made joyful conversation. Petunia demanded she would be staying home.

-

Lily braced herself for the wall, which she still hadn’t seemed to get over. Sometimes she feared that magic had made a mistake in choosing her and that eventually, in a quick moment, it would abandon her. It made her smile each time she did make it through the wall. It was her slight reassurance that she was magic after all.

Her happiness grew as she saw Remus Lupin. She had known Remus from a few classes, and yeah, he was a Marauder, but he was different than the others. He was smart and humorous and didn't have a hobby of bothering her or bullying others.

His long, sandy brown hair covered half of the long scar that stretched from below his eye past his nose. Severus Snape had told Lily’s rumors in passing about that scar. Rumors like Remus was a werewolf. Severus always said it with such a sneering tone, but Lily concluded that this rumor could genuinely be true. If it were true, despite the small fear that resonated within her, she firmly decided that she would never disregard him. James and Sirius must not know, she thought. They would never understand a thing like that, being so secluded. Or what it meant to have flaws. Lily walked up to where he was standing, looking out of place without his friends.

“Hi,” she smiled at him brightly. The boy was startled, and Lily had to hold back a laugh at the sight of it. He turned towards her and smiled. 

"You scared me, Evans."

She laughed, her eyes drifting over him, and she let out a small exclaim when she noticed the glittering badge on his uniform.

“Twins," she pointed to the one she was wearing. He laughed; his hair covering his eyes as he did.

Remus seemed to be genuinely pleased at this. “Of course you were made a prefect.”

“Of course?” she teased him.

He flushed slightly, “Let’s just say that if I am forced to do nighty patrols, I am glad it’s with you.”

“That might be a compliment, Lupin,” Lily replied.

"It is," he said and after a small pause, "James was a little disappointed that he wasn't made a prefect."

"Being the captain of the quidditch team isn't good enough for him?" she joked, and Remus laughed.

"I'll tell him you said that."

A squeal sounded behind her, and she turned to see bouncy curls and a dolled face. Mary MacDonald was beaming at the two of them.

"Guys!" she pulled at Lily's arm, "Come sit with us in the carriage."

-

Each year, Lily sat in a small compartment with Marlene and Mary. Sometimes, Mary would invite a friend of hers to share with them. However, the compartment was crammed as Lily entered it. Remus trailed in behind her, immediately eager to sit down with his friends, shouting out that he thought they hadn't arrived yet.

James Potter's legs were sprawled on the floor of the compartment, his head propped up on the edge of the train's seat.

"We've been in here for like ten minutes," James answered Remus without glancing towards him; his focus strictly engaged on the ball he was throwing upwards to catch.

"Hi, Lily," Sirius said with a smirk. He was sitting beside Marlene, the two of them in the middle of a game of cards.

At the mention of her name, James' ball went crashing down against his leg and his eyes glanced up. Sirius was laughing, but James was silent.

Lily took a seat next to Mary, trying to avoid his gaze. The way he gazed at her was almost soft, but it was just a disguise from his mischievous intentions. Mary kept throwing glances of her own at Sirius.

“Good summer, Evans?” The question came from no other than James Potter. Lily had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. But she couldn't attack him. It was a simple question, and she didn't have to give him a personal answer. If her friends liked the marauders enough to invite them into their compartment, then she could be civil.

“It was good,” she replied, “How was your summer, James?”

“My summer?” James looked stunned, and he broke out into a wide grin, his eye glittering, “Yeah, it was great!"

"Since when do you call him James?" Sirius teased to which Mary laughed. Lily gave her an unimpressed look.

"Is that not his name?" she said simply.

"It's a name that I've never heard you say before."

She rolled her eyes, leaning into the back of the train's seat.

"You never say James either, Sirius," Mary shrugged, her eyes warm and expressive. "It's always this... Pong."

"Prongs," James corrected.

Remus and Sirius were laughing loudly. Even Lily smiled.

"I win!" Marlene suddenly exclaimed.

"No way!" Sirius said instantly, pulling back his cards and scanning the ones between them before groaning.

"You looked away," she shrugged, "never look away from the opponent."

"Because they'll cheat if you do," Sirius responded.

"I did not cheat," she let out a low laugh and moved over to sit by Mary and Lily.

"Remember when it was just the three of us?" she asked humorously.

-

Most of Lily's concerns had worn away about the war. James and Sirius, who came from pureblood families, seemed happy enough and so did Mary, who Lily thought might be as nervous as her. Whatever must have happened in the summer to make Mary write that letter must have passed because the train ride, as much as Lily complained at first, turned out to be a good experience. And everyone seemed happy to go back to Hogwarts.

Dumbledore made no mention of the war in his welcoming speech, and Lily went up to the common room feeling relaxed.

It wasn't until late at night, when Mary and Marlene were asleep in the dorm after hours of the three of them talking, and Lily had gone downstairs to borrow a book to read that she heard the first signs that a war could be happening after all.

Low voices, that were instantly recognizable as belonging to the marauders, were bouncing back and forth.

"Regulus decided that nothing Dumbledore could teach him here would be any better than Voldemort," the tone of the speaker was hushed and angry.

"So he just left? But he's a kid, and he's still got what.. three years left?"

"That sort of thing doesn't matter to my parents. There is nothing more honorable to them than the choice he's made."

There was a silent pause in their conversation before another voice, filled with confusion and worry sounded.

"Are you saying that he made a choice, then?"

"He made his choice a long time ago, every time he sided with my parents."

At the end of his statement were two overlapping voices:

"But Voldemort?"

"Sirius, he wouldn't."

"For my parents, he would. I don't trust anyone anymore, and we can't trust any of the Slytherins."

"Any of the Slytherins? Don't be ridiculous," a strong voice replied that Lily clearly recognized as James. "Dumbledore didn't mention anything, and I trust him. Don't you?"

There was another pause of silence and then a quiet response: "I do."

"We'll talk about it more tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm knackered."

There was a shuffling sound of feet and chairs being pushed, and Lily darted back up the stairs and into her dorm, forgetting the book entirely.

She tried not to think about where Mary and Marlene slept peacefully, ignorant to how near the War was growing to them. If Regulus or Severus could be supporters of Voldemort, then the war was closer than she thought.

She decided, laying in her bed that night, that she trusted Dumbledore too, but she wasn't going to wait around for him to say anything.

She was going to talk to James Potter.

She was going to ask him to tell her everything he knew about the war.

It was her easiest option. He would know more than she did. And, James Potter was also loyal to her; he would tell her easily.

-

"No," was the short response Lily got from James the next day after Potions class. His glasses were falling away from his eyes. They were usually warm for her, but they only looked darkened now.

To say she was surprised was an understatement, James Potter never told her no. She had specifically put on mascara, blush, and lipgloss today hoping it would help her case.

"No?" she looked down at the ground and tried to curl her hair around her finger, the way Mary once taught her to do.

"I would help you if I could," he shrugged easily, "but I don't know anything."

She couldn't call him a liar because that would make her an eavesdropper.

She looked around the busy corridor, busy from the other students leaving Potions class. She spotted Sirius and Remus lingering around near the classroom, watching the two of them. She sighed and turned back to James.

"Fine, you don't have to tell me, but something is going on, James," she found his gaze, his eyes widening, "But you know that my obliviousness is dangerous. This war targets me."

James' eyes seemed to warm but his jaw remained tightened. His face looked mature and serious, a look Lily had never seen on him. In that mere second, she saw why he was the captain of the quidditch team.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," his words were gentle despite the sternness on his face. "Dumbledore wouldn't let that happen."

"Dumbledore comes from a line of respected wizards," her voice trailed off as her hopelessness arose. Why would such a respected wizard waste time on her?

"Yes, and that's exactly why you should trust him," James replied, his voice raising enough to get Remus and Sirius' attention, who began to walk near them with weary faces

Sirius put an arm around James, steering him away easily, not letting Lily have another word.

She groaned, and Remus stayed behind watching her nervously.

"What's going on?" confusion laced his tone, and he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She clutched onto the books she was holding. Tired from that Potions lecture. Tired from feeling so alone in this war. And from James, who didn't owe her anything, but had somehow betrayed her.

Remus was way taller than her, so Lily had to tilt her chin up to meet his eyes. Her next words were sarcastic and filled with defeat.

"Haven't you heard, Remus? There's a war coming."

[velvetcharms]

History’s Muse

I am a bad spectator at the art museum.

With a calm exterior and a restless mind,

searching for golden skin and curls like ribbons to match mine.

A muse like me

would be the thing

to get my heart to flee

and soar into the sky.

I stared at each unfeeling,

So unrevealing they were to me.

I left shivering

feeling abandoned

by a past that could never have predicted

me feeling that wrath.

[velvetcharms]

Nights (Sirius Black x Reader)

After Sirius Black goes to Azkaban, Y/n and Remus live together in an attempt to avoid the tragic week that tore their friend group apart.

It’s been a week. And oh, what a long week it’s been. Y/n could have sworn that she had been through a million of lifetimes in the short span of this week. So much could change. One moment things could be promising, and the next moment your world could be flipped, and you could be staying in your best friend's messy, crammed apartment.

You just thought that maybe some company would do the both of you some good. But to face the truth, neither of you were your usual selves. All Remus did recently was stay in his room, or maybe, during the night, he would sip his tea in front of the fireplace.

All you could do was stay awake. You were hoping that this was the nightmare, and that when you did finally sleep, that would be the waking up, and this horrible sensation would be lifted. Because you could not make peace with a world that didn’t have James or Lily Potter. Or, even as guilty as it made you feel to say, Sirius Black.

-

1974

Sirius Black was without a doubt your favorite person. You didn’t have a great relationship with your parents who were both muggles. They weren’t very approving of your choice to go to Hogwarts. It was a childish endeavor. You ought to stay here and get a real job, they would always say.

And maybe you would have eventually caved in and listened. It’s only that you met Sirius Black in your fourth year.

You were captivated by your book, reading while walking, when you suddenly slammed into something solid and fell back onto the castle ground, mumbling in pain.

When you looked up, four boys crawled out from behind a knight statue. The boy with long black hair, Sirius Black, tried to suppress his grin but it was useless. He broke out in outrageous laughter.

Remus frowned beside him, as Peter and James rushed forward.

“I’m so sorry!” The boy with glasses exclaimed, lending out his hand. You took it, half confused. You turned to the boy with black hair, still dying of laughter. You couldn’t even be upset. He was so radiant, that you began to smile shyly yourself, and soon after that, everyone was laughing.

They offered to walk you back to the Ravenclaw dormitory. You had accepted, but only because James Potter looked so guilty. Sirius Black, who before was breaking out in laughter every time he glanced at you, had now calmed down enough to maintain conversation.

“What was that spell?” You asked curiously. The black haired boy scoffed.

“As if we would tell you,” Sirius said quickly.

“You won’t tell me, but you’ll hit me with it?” You replied, and that had gotten Sirius to laugh again.

“It wasn’t supposed to hit you.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No!” James quickly intervened, “It was for someone who actually deserved it…”

“Who?”

“You ask too many questions,” Sirius replied.

“I just think it was cool magic,” you shrugged in reply, holding your book firmly against your chest. The boy stoped his laughter then.

“This is me,” you said as you approached Ravenclaw tower, “try not to hit anymore bystanders.”

That memory was the worst one. Because now, Sirius Black was miles away, in a cell in Azkaban. Maybe you should have stayed in the library that day... or maybe when you got finally entered Ravenclaw tower you should have never came out.

-

1975

To your surprise, in fourth year, the Ravenclaws had a class with Gryffindor: History of Magic. This did nothing for your silly one-sided crush on Sirius Black. Although, you had become very close with his friend, Remus Lupin. The two of you were probably the only two students who enjoyed the class. You guys always came out with the top grades, and even studied together now.

You were in the library with Remus, the two of you hunched over your History of Magic textbooks, when someone opened the library door loudly.

Both of your heads snapped up. Sirius Black was walking towards your table, his hair flying messily, and his white shirt untucked. You suddenly had the urge to run away, but you only widened your eyes before turning towards the book again.

You were startled by the sound of a chair being drawn out and looked up hesitantly to see Sirius sitting down. Oh God. You tried to think of some excuse to leave. You had to send a letter? That was believable…

“Yes?” Remus asked, his voice tight in a way that caught your attention and made you chuckle lightly. Sirius noticed that, and looked you over, a smile on his lips.

“Hey, Y/n,” he said. Of course, it only made sense that he knew your name by now considering your shared class but coming from him, it was so much different.

“Um, hi,” you replied.

Remus looked at him sideways. “Sirius, stop bothering her.”

Sirius looked at you again, “Am I bothering you?”

“I’m not bothered,” you shrugged, hoping you weren’t blushing. Attention and being caught off guard. The two things you hated most.

“Well, good,” Sirius leaned back slightly, “I’d hate to interrupt this… study date.”

Now, Remus shut his book. “It’s not a date.”

Sirius hummed thoughtfully before turning his gaze to you. “No?”

You were surprised. “Why would we have a date in a library?”

Sirius chuckled at your question. “It suits the both of you.”

Remus tsked, “Why? Because we actually care about our future?”

Sirius shrugged. “Better to be in the present.”

-

You woke up to the sound of the front door slamming. You froze before getting up and opening the door. The windows showed the darkness of the night. How long had you been asleep for? 

Remus stumbled through, almost falling on his way in. You rushed beside him, offering support, but he only brushed you off. You locked the door behind him and went to fill up a cup of water.

For some strange reason, you were angry at him. Because even though he was physically here, he wasn’t really here. Instead, he escaped through whatever method of the day he chose. He was making you deal with everything on your own.

He followed you into the kitchen. The spite was obvious in your voice. “Go sit down, Remus.”

To your surprise, he actually did, and you handed him the cup of water. He drank it quickly. Your eyes were starting to fill with tears. As angry as you were at him, you had to admit, it was hard for you to be around him.

“Don’t cry,” Remus’ slurred voice spoke, echoing in the tiny, quiet apartment.

You breathed in sharply. “I can’t help it.”

You turned to walk away, but he reached his hand out, gently grabbing onto your arm. The soft gesture was no use; the flames in the fireplace seemed to roar with life.

“I’ll wake you up soon,” you said.

Remus looked alarmed. “No.”

-

1977

“He wants you to come,” Remus was explaining as the two of you walked into History of Magic together. You looked confused.

“Sirius?” 

“He told me not to stop until you said yes. Although I don’t care what you say. Not like that- I want you there, but just not if you don’t want to be.” 

You laughed kindly. “It’s okay… it’s just, I’ve never been to a party before.”

Remus turned slightly, “Never?”

You shrugged, and Remus laughed. He hit his shoulder against yours.

"Well, now you have to say yes."

The party was definitely lively. You mostly spent it talking to whoever Remus introduced you to. After the two girls you were chatting with named Mary and Lily left to dance, you walked aimlessly around the crowds of the party. Your eyes traveled over to where everyone was dancing. Sirius Black, carefree and bright, was right in the center of them. You watched him until you collided with someone else.

“Woah, I’m sorry,” the voice was slightly slurry but still kind, “Oh, hey.” He smiled as if you two were long term friends.

It was James Potter, Remus’ friend, and well, everyone knew James.

“Hi,” you answered, “sorry about…”

“What? No, it’s okay,” he said kindly, “are you having fun?”

“Oh, yeah definitely,” the words were fabricated. James smirked lightly.

“That’s a no,” he smiled, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “Look, it’s kind of late, and I know it’s a bit chaotic in here, but you could go up to our dorm if you want? Wait for things to calm down here…”

“Oh, that’s okay. I don’t want to intrude…”

“Don’t be silly, we invited you.”

You looked up at him, smiling lightly. “Okay.”

“Okay?” James grinned, “I’ll show you.”

So, that’s how you ended up on the corner of Remus’ bed. You didn’t dare lay down, even though you were extremely tempted because that would be so invasive. You grabbed a book off of Remus' nightstand just to pass some time but were startled moments later when the door slammed open quickly.

“Prongs? Why did I see you and Y/n…” Sirius' voice traveled through the room before his eyes landed on you. His moment of surprise was quickly replaced with a smirk. 

“No! Don’t tell me there’s a party going on and you’re up here reading,” he teased, and you flushed.

“James said I could wait in here…”

He only smiled, sitting down on the bed opposite of you. He leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees, “bored?”

“No, It’s been fun,” you tried to redeem yourself, “but I can only put up with drunk guys and disco for so long.”

Sirius chuckled. “Fair enough. I didn’t think you’d come at all to be honest…”

You smiled, feeling more relaxed. “I wanted to see what all the hype was about.”

Sirius smirked, nodding. “And?”

“And I’m hiding in your dorm,” you smirked playfully.

“Ouch,” he leaned back, his hair falling messily. You had to try not to focus on that.

You giggled at him, and his grinned widened.

“Well, unfortunately you might have to get used to it. We like having you around.”

You smiled. “Oh?”

Sirius nodded, “Yeah. Even if you only like Remus.”

“I don't only like Remus.”

"No?" Sirius smiled, "Shall I tell him you said that?"

"Go ahead," you responded playfully.

"You should come back down and dance with me."

You looked at the boy in front of you, magnetic and wickedly charming and then the book in your lap.

You smiled brightly, and you took a risk.

-

Remus was beginning to stir next to you. He rubbed his eyes before glancing around the room, eyes finally landing on you. He looked properly wrecked. His hair was a mess and his eyes were dark.

“You’re so far away,” his voice spoke softly.

You were surprised at his words. “What do you mean?”

“Won’t you come here?”

Remus was hardly direct. And maybe he was still half asleep, but the fact that he was asking was something.

You leaned closer to him carefully, and it was comforting to be near someone. It was the first time you fell asleep in a while.

[velvetcharms]

Partners?

James Potter x Reader

In which James Potter and Y/n fight for each other's attention.

You had no idea what had gotten into you lately. In all of your years at Hogwarts, James Potter’s ego and pranks had never bothered you before. You oversaw them constantly, knowing it was all a part of his charm. His rebellious streak was the reason you were drawn to be his friend in the first place. But his most recent stunt, a sultry prank to Lily Evans in the Great Hall, had gotten under your skin. 

So, when you heard him calling out your name in the common room, you carried on towards the staircase.

“What’s up with you?” you heard him call out again, his voice turning slightly distraught.

You turned around hesitantly. Your eyes dragged up to his crooked glasses and down to where his shirt was messily untucked. You sighed. “I’d love to tell you, and I would. I mean, really… it’s just that.. there’s nothing wrong.”

“You’re pouting,” James went on. “And it’s not very attractive on you.”

“Lucky me. I’m not trying to attract you, James.”

“Huh,” James smiled, leaning back slightly. 

The enthusiasm playing on his face was irritating. You tried to play it off, catching up to your moment of silence. “Ew.”

James took no offense, only laughing. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong?”

You didn’t turn as James' voice called from behind you, but you did walk away with a satisfied grin on your face. It wasn’t terrible, having his attention which was always so narrowed on Lily, focused on you for once.

-

The next day, in McGonagall’s class, James only irritated you further.

You were transfiguring a vase of daisies into roses when a pink mist swirled past you with a cool breeze that caused you to stumble back. A sensation like water poured down the top of your hair and left your hair pink as it traveled down. Your cheeks flushed brightly, the color as loud as your hair.

And you could notice James’ laugh from anywhere. You turned around immediately, trying not to let your embarrassment show.

“Is that funny to you?” With a quick lift of your wand, you transformed your hair back to its normal shade.

James shrugged, that familiar smirk on his face. “McGonagall said we could test on each other.”

“Test on your beloved friends.”

“They’re too busy doing whatever that is with each other.”

You turned to where Sirius and Remus were sitting close. Remus lifted a strand of Sirius's hair and lightly tapped his wand to it, watching as it turned purple. Sirius smiled, looking back at him.

“I already have a partner,” you turned your gaze back to James. He gestured to your empty desk and empty seat. Your typical partner, Mary McDonald, was indefinitely skipping class.

“You know, I’ve seen a lot of strange things at this school,” James began, “but if your partner is there on that empty seat next to you… this would make the top ten.”

You averted your gaze, scanning the room for an escape from James' rambling. At last, your eyes landed upon Evan Rosier who was transfiguring random objects around the room.

It was cruel to call out his name, being well aware of his crush on you. However, rejecting James was an opportunity you could not pass up.

The boy lowered his wand, eyes widening slightly. And when you beckoned him over, he got up so quickly that he stumbled over his feet on his way towards you. You tried to look away in an effort not to embarrass him.

“Want to do transfigurations together?” you asked him sweetly. A tiny smile took over his face as he nodded. He quickly smoothed out his long, golden brown hair.

“Let’s do it.”

“Top five," James' voice sounded yet again. He was leaning against one of the classroom tables, his arms crossed tightly across his button shirt.

"Why are you still here?"

“You working with Evans is stranger than the ghost. Top five.”

You decided to ignore James, giving him one last final glare before turning towards Evan. The boy was already looking at you, excitement on his face. You sighed.

-

Later that evening, you spotted James and Lily talking in the common room. She was smiling at him warmly, and he was comfortably leaning against the staircase. As you watched them, a pang hit you suddenly. Maybe you had been too harsh with James earlier.

In an effort not to walk past them, you settled on waiting by the couches where Mary was giggling with Sirius. When you reached them, you stood in front of Mary. 

“Where were you?” you put your hands on your hips, “I was left with Evan Rosier in transfiguration today.”

Mary giggled before covering her mouth. “That’s not funny.”

You rolled your eyes, sitting beside her.

“James tried to work with you!” Sirius said.

You let out a dry laugh as your eyes traveled back to where James was standing against the staircase. “He just wanted to mess with me like always.”

“Oh, come on,” Sirius smiled, leaning over to poke your shoulder. "He means well."

"He turned my hair pink," you rolled your eyes, "which I'm guessing you were too busy to see."

Sirius only smirked. "I do wish I'd have seen that."

You were about to respond back sarcastically when you felt a sudden pat on the top of your hair. You twisted and looked up to see James, who was already walking past you. He took a seat beside Sirius and smiled at you. You tried to suppress your own emerging smile.

The four of you fell into a simple, light conversation that droned on for the rest of the evening. 

Soon, Lily came over too, and you tried not to watch as her and James talked so naturally together. You and James weren’t like that. He was always trying to sabotage your peace, and you were always arguing with him. You weren’t sure exactly why, but he made you mad. 

His grin made you mad. His pranks enraged you. His untucked shirts annoyed you. And the way he stayed behind, as the rest of your friends went upstairs, downright ruined you.

Because with the others, you and James were able to be normal. Without them, your familiar defenses returned.

Your eyes moved to the fire, your fingers fidgeting with the edge of your skirt. In a sudden impulse, you looked up to find his eyes already on you. You looked back at your skirt and leaned against the red cushions of the couch. After a few awkward moments of silence, you looked back at him.

“I should probably head upstairs,” you rushed your words nervously.

“Wait,” James said, and you reluctantly leaned back. “I wasn’t trying to upset you earlier in… you know…”

“Yeah,” you tried to keep your tone casual, “I know.”

“Good,” he smiled,  releasing a light breath. “I just want you to know, I don’t go out of my way to bother you.”

“Really?” your eyebrows lifted.

“Yeah,” the humor slightly drained from his face, “really.”

“It doesn’t feel that way,” you let out a dry laugh as you crossed your arms.

“Hey,” if he wasn't smiling before, he was devoid of all humor now. His eyes were focused, and his tone serious. “Talk to me for a second, yeah?”

You looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“Every time I try to talk to you, you say something sarcastic.”

“I…” you look around the common room, averting your gaze, “I didn’t realize you were analyzing me.”

“I didn’t realize you’d rather work with Rosier than me.”

“James,” you said sharply, “you’re always messing with me. You can’t take anything seriously!”

“That’s not true.”

"But it is," your voice trembled as you thought of the way he spoke to Lily only minutes before. "And I know you're capable of being serious."

“We’re never serious together!”

“That’s the problem.”

“Why is that a problem? That’s just the way we are.”

You let the sound of the fire calm the room. It crackled and burned, and you tried not to feel the emotions burning within you. If that was just the way the two of you were, then the problem hadn’t been James, or Lily, or even his behavior. It had been you. 

“Like the way you are with Remus and Sirius?” you asked.

James' face lightened, “Exactly. I mean, we all grew up together. Imagine the four of us being serious.”

You felt a pang as you nodded along, “Right.”

“I’m glad you understand. I can be more serious though, for you. If that’s what you want?”

“What I want?” you softly smiled, “Never mind that, James. I guess what I need is sleep.”

He smiled back. “I’m sorry for keeping you up. I had to get you before. Don’t go to bed angry and all that…”

“That was kind,” you stood up and headed towards the staircase quickly, without pausing to hear his next words. 

This time, you weren’t sure you were strong enough to turn back.

[velvetcharms]

Brother’s Best Friend

Sirius Black x reader

In which Sirius Black finds comfort in the person he least expects.

The same day that Sirius Black realized his parents were Slytherins was the same day that Sirius had sworn off all Slytherins forever. It started off as a childish thing, a one-sided, unspoken attempt to get back at his parents for all of their strict rules and exaggerated lectures about the importance of his pure-blood ancestry.

When he met James Potter on his first train ride to Hogwarts, the resentment towards Slytherins grew into a shared inside joke. Something that the two of them could continuously throw around. Never mind that James Potter was from a pure-blood family as well. The joke was just another feeble attempt to get back at his parents.

And then, he met Severus Snape. And then, he met the insults and snide remarks of his Slytherin classmates. And then, he had finally decided: there was no good that came out of Slytherin.

So it’s no surprise that when his little brother, Regulus, was sorted into Slytherin a year later, Sirius was devastated. Sirius was silent during the entirety of dinner and even remained silent as he arrived in his dorm. The other boys tried not to disturb him, but they had never seen him so quiet before, and it was starting to disturb them.

“Some evening,” Peter said awkwardly, a yawn emerging from him. Remus gave him a strict look before turning his attention back to Sirius, worry evident on his face.

The silence only seemed to grow thicker until finally Sirius sighed and his words rushed out, eager for release.

“I thought he was different. This whole time I thought he wasn’t like them,” Sirius began.

“I mean yeah, Slytherins can be awful, but he’s your brother,” James replied, attempting to soothe his best friend.

“Very insightful, James,” Remus said sarcastically from his side of the dorm. He leaned back against his bed frame. “But I agree. He’s your brother. You know him.”

“I don’t think I do anymore,” he replied solemnly, his eyes sullen yet harsh.

“Don’t be like that, Sirius,” said Remus, “just talk to him.”

Sirius doesn’t talk to him the next day. Or the rest of the year for that matter. He says what he has to during the summer but when school starts, he goes back to ignoring him.

It’s not easy to pretend that Regulus doesn’t exist. He started to play quidditch. He is one of the smartest in his year. And he’s always seen with a Slytherin girl that is in Sirius’ potions class. She’s reserved and intelligent. She seems polite enough. She talks with Lily Evans. She’s even pretty. But she’s also a Slytherin and Sirius believes that’s a good enough reason not to trust her.

She’s always with Regulus. They sit together in the Great Hall. They walk in the corridors together. Sirius spots her one day leaning against Regulus’ shoulder, laughing loudly at something he said. Sirius resents her for it. He hates her for knowing Regulus.

Later that day, Sirius is walking into Potions class when he spots her talking with Lily Evans. He tries to walk past unbothered, but then he hears her mention Regulus’ name.

“Regulus and I have a bet,” she says with a laugh. Sirius tries to ignore how sweet her laugh sounds.

“Is that right?” Lily chuckles and shakes her head.

“He’s the best seeker that’s ever been. Write it down. This Saturday. You’ll see.”

“He really doesn’t think he’ll catch the snitch?” Lily wonders curiously.

The girl responds back with a small pout. “He doubts himself a lot. I hate it. But I’ll win the bet, and he’ll see.”

Sirius rolls his eyes and continues walking. What does she know? Regulus is his brother after all.

Their conversation leaves him with an irritation that follows him the rest of the day and a worry that maybe he doesn’t know his brother anymore. James has tried cheering him up, but Sirius continues his sulking all day. He hardly eats anything when they sit down in the Great Hall. He goes to bed as soon as they make their way to the dorms. No one bothers him.

The next morning, the marauders don’t even have to ask Sirius what’s wrong. He wakes up determined and explains the whole situation to them.

“He doubts himself sometimes. I hate it,” Sirius says, mocking the girl as his story comes to an end. He shakes his head furiously.

“Are you talking about y/n?” asks Remus.

“Y/n? I don’t even know who that is. Did you hear anything that I even said?” Sirius looks as if Remus has just deeply betrayed him.

“The girl you keep complaining about. She’s Lily’s partner in potions,” says Remus as if this is common knowledge.

“A friend of Lily’s is a friend of mine,” says James, a teasing smile on his face.

Sirius thinks that maybe, given a different circumstance, he might have laughed. But James is supposed to always be on his side, so he makes a face of disgust instead. “You too? Peter?”

“She’s quite pretty,” He responds with a shrug of his shoulders.

“She’s a Slytherin,” Sirius mutters, but it’s loud enough for the rest of them to catch it.

“Really?” Remus rolls his eyes, “I thought we were past all of the house prejudice or whatever you’d like to call it.”

“That’s not why I don’t like her,” Sirius lies, quickly defending himself. He pauses as he struggles to come up with another valid reason. He continues on anyway, “she’s very… assuming. How can she possibly know how Regulus feels? I’m his brother. If anyone knows him it’s me.”

The three of the boys share a knowing look.

“Sirius,” Peter speaks up hesitantly “when’s the last time you even spoke to Regulus?”

Sirius isn’t sure why that question hits him as hard as it does, but it hurts. Surely it wasn’t that long ago. They spoke a little during last summer whenever he wasn’t at James’ house…

Sirius decides that he doesn’t owe any of them an explanation. He stands up quickly and mutters a faint, “excuse me.”

Sirius’ urge to run away leads him to the front of Hogwarts’ entrance. He finds it ironic that the first thing he notices as he exits Hogwarts’ front doors is the Slytherin girl, or Y/n as she sits alone near the Great Lake.

Sirius had no time to think about the reckless act he was about to make. He was fueled by the anger of Peter’s question and the fact that he really didn’t know when the last time he had spoken to his brother was. He figured the only obvious option was to blame her. The girl with soft eyes and a determined expression. The girl sitting with her back against the tree, seeming not to notice the ruckus of the other students around her, not even noticing Sirius’ haste steps towards her as she stares into her book.

“Y/n, is it?” he says finally as he comes to an abrupt stop in front of her. In a quick second, her eyebrows furrow and her gaze is on him. Her eyes even widen a little bit.

She takes a few seconds to respond, and in all of those few seconds, Sirius can feel himself growing impatient. Before she can even finish saying yes, Sirius cuts her off.

“It’s a bit cold out here to be reading don’t you think?” his tone is harsh.

“What?” she replies confused, and Sirius almost feels bad. Almost.

“It’s just that it’s cold, and you’re not even wearing a jacket and…” Sirius’ voice begins to falter. His pride doesn’t let him stop. “I’m Regulus’ brother.”

She nods. “I know that,” she says sharply.

Sirius is immediately taken aback.

“Fine. Who are you anyway, his girlfriend or something?” he replies back with the same sharpness in his tone.

She laughs loudly enough to surprise him. He looks at her in confusion, and she shakes her head. “Who are you to ask something like that? You won’t even look at him.”

Sirius tries not to let that hurt him, but it does. “I’m his brother.” He keeps saying this. He’s hoping that after saying it enough times this simple fact will make up for everything else.

“No. I’m not his girlfriend,” she replies.

“You just seem to always be with him,” Sirius presses on, and he knows he shouldn’t, but some pathetic part of him feels like by talking to her, he’s kind of talking to Regulus.

“He’s my best friend.” With those simple words, Sirius has the daunting feeling that he has completely lost his brother. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Y/n just stares up at him curiously.

“Why are you speaking to me, Sirius?” she asks after moments of silence.

“I don’t know,” he admits because isn’t it just the truth? He doesn’t know.

Y/n continues to stare at him, and it kind of annoys Sirius until she finally says, in a calm voice, “Talk to him before the match tomorrow.”

Sirius doesn’t really understand, but before he can ask, she’s adding on.

“ ‘Good luck’ or ‘you’re going down’ I don’t care what it is. Talk to him.” And with that, she goes back to her book.

Sirius is going to talk to him. The game is about to start, and Regulus is right there. He’s going to talk to him any minute now…

Regulus is already focused on the game. Most people have a hard time understanding Regulus, but to Sirius it comes naturally. He can see the way worry flickers across his face before immediately being pushed away. He feels the urge to reach out, to comfort him. And now he understands why Y/n had asked him to say something; he understands her conversation with Lily.

The whistle blows and Regulus is about to fly when Sirius blurts it out.

“Good luck,” he says to Regulus. Regulus is undoubtedly surprised. His eyebrows raise, and he’s quiet for a few seconds.

Then, he simply nods, “Sure, you too.”

Regulus doesn’t sound bitter. The interaction between them almost feels natural. Sirius smiles lightly. Although, it doesn’t take long for the brief happiness to subside into a feeling of guilt. He spent so much time resenting his brother for something outside of his control. He has a sinking feeling that he was wrong.

He tries to find Y/n in the stands, and when he does he breathes in sharply at the sight. She is smiling so brightly that he finds it difficult to look away. He hates to admit it, but he thinks he might have been wrong about her too.