[verse-illustrated-blog]

On Bad Habits

My dear little dog is a sucker for trash;

Be it boxed, bagged or piled, she's hip to the stash.

I've scolded and sassed, wagged a finger with force,

But nothing I say steers that snout off its course.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On Washing Dishes

The way I wash dishes is far less than skillful;

I'm quick to surrender to old food that's willful.

Instead I've decided each speck on a glass

Is paying respect to a fine meal that's passed.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On Men's Fragrance

Two teenagers stand on the train looking smug;

All hormones and hair gel and half-hearted shrugs.

I sneeze and I sputter as they lean my way,

An innocent victim of Axe Body Spray.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On IKEA

I'm filled with resentment the moment I start;

My motives are muddied—all budget, no heart.

I hear the Swedes laughing as I load my cart—

With Vika and Snitta and Hopen and Kvart.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On studio apartments

I wish I had closets, I wish I had drawers;

I wish that there weren't veneer on my floors.

I wish I had space, but why should I whine?

I love this apartment. Goddammit, it's mine.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On black tie events

Starch on the linens, starch on the plates;

Deep pockets dine with their vacuous dates.

Each comment constructed, each compliment canned;

Yes, everything's going exactly as planned.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On cold season in NY

The season’s upon us—the snot nosed are out!

The cab doors are wet with the spray of each snout.

Your boosters are useless, your masks are in vain;

Surrender as tissues float by on the train.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On moralistic deer

Haywood Sincere was a well-meaning deer;

His values defined and his moral code clear.

He said what he meant and he meant what he said—

Pity that all we have left is his head.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On cockroaches and territory

My little heart sank at the sight in the sink;

A rodent-sized roach sat taking a drink.

We shared a few words, then I tossed him my keys—

And promptly proceded to vacate my lease. 

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On death and cars

A car nearly clipped me on my walk to work;

The car was a Camry, the driver a jerk.

I took a step back—then started to smile;

If I'm going out, a sedan's not my style.

[verse-illustrated-blog]

On poultry

They slaughter live chickens on Twentieth Street;

Crammed in blue crates, the birds stink in the heat. 

I see feathers floating but can't hear a sound—

The next time I see them they're priced by the pound.