stitchy cryptid @veryslowtigers - Tumblr Blog

wait, do people know about aziraphale and crowley’s new year’s resolutions

at some point neil gaiman and terry pratchett wrote these up and they’re very good

Crowley:

Resolution #1: I must accept that Super-Gluing valuable coins to the sidewalk and then watching events from a nearby café is not proper demonic activity.

Resolution #2: The same applies to rearranging the letters on wayside pulpits.

Resolution #3: Try to come up with something as good as cell phone ringtones, following one last stab at convincing Downstairs that cell phone ringtones are right up there in the whole Human Misery stakes. And iPods. Has anybody Down There even said thank you for iPods? Or “Googling yourself?” Frankly, I deserve some kind of award for “Googling yourself.”

Resolution #4: I must encourage greedy people to use the term, “Low-hanging fruit,” because that’s just like old times.

Resolution #5: This year, I will get a desk near the window.

Resolution #6: I will try to understand why Hell is a no-smoking area. I just think it’s ridiculous having to stand around outside the gates, that’s all.

Resolution #7: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design, because it upsets everyone.

Resolution #8: Stop Googling myself.

Aziraphale:

Resolution #1: Spread peace and love and glad tidings of great joy throughout the world. Also try to get out more.

Resolution #2: I will be charitable to people who use the term “core values,” however difficult this may be.

Resolution #3: Notwithstanding Resolution #2 (above), I will redouble my efforts to have the utterance of the phrase “core values” classified as a deadly sin. I believe Himself is with me on this one.

Resolution #4: I will try to be nicer to the customers. They want to buy books; I want to sell them. It can’t be that hard. (Memo to self: Regular opening hours? Mark prices on books?)

Resolution #5: I will try to be polite to Gabriel, no matter what the provocation.

Resolution #6: Find out exactly what an “Internet” is.

Resolution #7: Really must resume dancing lessons. Learn the “Galloping Major,” the “Gay Gordons,” the “Mashed Potatoes.” Possibly even the “Twist”?

Resolution #8: Thwart Infernal Wiles (ongoing).

Resolution #9: I will try to understand why Heaven is a non-smoking area.

Resolution #10: On the orders of Head Office I will encourage the belief in Intelligent Design – despite the fact that the human airway crosses the digestive tract. Who thought that was intelligent?

Resolution #11: Feed the ducks.

the original link seems to have died somewhere along the way, but hooray for the wayback machine

good-omens-heritage-posts

good omens heritage post

ineffabledistortion

This is BEAUTIFUL rrrrr omg look at themmm look at them <3333 they bring me such joy with their silliness (also you can’t tell me Crowley and Aziraphale don’t smoke together outside the gates)

gremlinz-yapz

"sex should be less stigmatized and talked about more" and "you should always make sure people who dont want to consume sexual media that you present dont have to see it" are two statements that can and should coexist. by the way.

kayvsworld

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

rizaoftheowls

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

#every dayyyyyy

nymph1e

On Discomfort and Morality

My father finds gay men uncomfortable.

He's told me before that it's like a knee-jerk for him. Something he doesn't consciously control. He sees two men behaving romantically, and his body reacts with mild discomfort.

In the 1960s, when he was in high school, most of the boys in his form thought he was gay on the simple fact that he wasn't homophobic. He wouldn't participate in insulting queer people, he didn't care if someone was gay, he wouldn't have a problem hanging out with gay people. So people thought he was gay. That's how prevalent homophobia was in his formative years.

When I was 10, my dad told me very seriously that Holmes and Watson were gay. That it was obvious from the literature and the time period that they were meant to be a gay couple. When I was 14 and I came out to my parents as bi, when my mum was upset my dad ripped into her for it. Told her that she was being stupid, that it was my life to live how I wanted to and that she needed to get over herself.

My dad formed my views on censorship: that being that it was completely ridiculous and thoroughly evil. He didn't believe in censorship of any kind. If I asked him a question about sex, he answered it honestly. When I was 12 and I asked him about homosexuality, still young and uncertain, he told me that there was nothing wrong with it. That it was just how some people were. That there was likely an evolutionary reason for it. And that for some people it was uncomfortable on an instinctual level.

He taught me that just because you're uncomfortable with something, doesn't make it wrong. He also taught me that most people don't understand this.

I see a lot of this on the internet as of the last few years. The anti shipping movement, the terf movement, the anti ace movement. It all stems from discomfort that people have crossed wires into believing means wrong. Really every -ism and -phobia out there stems from this same fundamental aspect of humanity.

The next time you see something and you automatically think it's disgusting, or wrong, or immoral, I invite you to ask yourself: is this actually wrong or does this just make me uncomfortable?

greymvs

yipyipallyall

#wait this can’t be true #can it??#whyyyyyyy do they have to speak in code

my-dailydreams

disgustinggf

exhuastedpigeon

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

shamebats

For context: Jonis Josef is a famous Norwegian comedian.

brightlotusmoon

bintro

prokopetz

Huge fuckoff Creatures are fine, but I love it when tabletop RPGs do the "monstrous animal" thing and it's still the size of a regular animal. Like, forget about making it universally hostile – can you imagine the damage a bulletproof seagull that's inexplicably as strong as a bear could do just doing regular seagull stuff?

dbacklot99

Angels of GO fandom: Clearly the creator had a vision or he wouldn’t have written a finale. It’s up to us to work harder, to understand the meaning and highlight what the creator meant to say.

Demons of GO fandom: Hey creator, this finale was a terrible idea, we reject it and demand another one. And a suggestion box!

And thus the Great War began….