ViLE.TRUTHs (^__^)

Being open & blunt as possible. LiVE.LoVE.LauGH.ExPRESS

[tomgmd-blog]

[viletruths-blog]

lmaooooooo!! #teamgenderstudies

[wrongplacewrongmind]

Fun Home - Alison Bechdel

First I would like to start of by saying I think Alison Bechdel is effing sexy.

Second, James and the Giant Peach, will NEVER be the same…but that’s strangely okay; because I like Joan’s rendition better:

This was such a good read.

At first I thought it started a bit slow, but I just realized that she was setting the tone for the rest of the read. Mundane, gray, gloomy, dark, confusion, and yet filled with so much emotion.

I actually teared up in certain parts, and the very last illustration on 232 had me in tears.

This to me was almost like an unfiltered coming of age story. So honest, my body went through a range of emotions while reading this, and I loved how unfiltered it was.

I’m being redundant, so let’s talk about Fun Home.

This is not your regular comic book, this is an illustrated biography that animates real life situations and events. What is found in Alison’s graphic novel is actually pretty common.

Things like same sex affairs while married, sexual oppression, sexual identity, suicide, social/class standards, etc. All these norms and culturally accepted standards do more damage than good.

Alison’s dad is a great example of sexual oppression/repression. Secret rendezvous with men, trying to hide his late night romps, trips to Christopher Street, I mean the signs are all there. But having to hide all this from everyone, feeling abnormal, and trying to bandwagon on with the tyranny of the majority took it’s toll. He killed himself.

“I suppose that a lifetime spent hiding one’s erotic truth could have a cumulative renunciatory effect. Sexual shame is in itself a kind of death.” I’m all for sexual liberation, and sexual freedom, all within legality and all that sort of jazz, but that doesn’t mean you need to go fuck everyone and everything. Do I mind if you do? No. But what I believe Alison meant by “sexual shame is in itself a kind of death”, is that when you condemn or try to shame someone for something like sexual preference, which is utterly and completely natural, you might be taking away a bit of that person’s sense of self worth/identity. Which can lead to feeling ostracized, and not welcome to be who they feel like they naturally are.

Also a lot of people’s response to the father was negative; I’m the opposite. I feel bad for him. I pity the shit out of him. I’m not saying to give him a pass for his neurotic behavior and all that stuff; but the guy grew up in a world that shaped him the way he turned out. People can be extremely malleable and it just so happens to be that Alison’s father conformed to social norms and felt somewhat of a sense of sexual shame. All that repression probably cause a whole bunch of anger and other issues; but as Alison mentioned in the end, her father was there for her.

[viletruths-blog]

While reading my fellow classmate's post, I liked how he focused on the main person in the tragicomic "Fun Home". Truthfully, I agree with Pooka. I felt nothing but pity for Alison's father, because he had to hide who he truly was to conform to social norms. The very social norms that drove him insane, and in my opinion caused him to commit suicide (we don't know if it was truly suicide). Throughout, the comic you see how he tried to live out he identity he was comfortable with through his daughter, who was trying to do her own thing and live as she wanted to live. We can also see that this drove him crazy, especially since he couldn't perfect her to his standards. Despite, the fact that he was depressed he still managed to play his father role even though he wasn't you consider a stereotypical father.

I liked Pooka's post, because he used some of my favorite images from the comic and also he shared my same views toward the father, where we both felt that some of our classmates had negative views toward the father.

[viletruths-blog]

A former Army officer found that women were often the best soldiers he encountered.

As we know the military is very important to our country, yet they still practice gender inequalities, where only 15% of women enrolled in the army were deployed to Iraq. Don't get me wrong that's a big difference from 0%, which was originally the percentage of women in combat. This a big issue we need to focus on because United States preach equality, yet their profound military contradicts their equality speech.

[normie-neighbor-deactivated2017]

Actual chat log from a roleplaying game

Guy: Where did you get your name from? Me: Some singer had something similar to it, but I changed a couple of letters to suit my tastes. Guy: Ah I see Guy: Do you like it up the ass? ; ) Me: Well, this escalated quickly. Guy: Ha Guy: Sorry Guy: It gets like that when I'm horny Guy: Your character is like the girlfriend I wish I could have lol Me: a prostitute? Guy: I mean the submissive little bitch who knows her place with a man Guy: Do you know your place with a man? Me: I suddenly want to punch you Me: I think we're done here. Guy: What? : / Guy: Sorry Guy: I didn't mean to offend Started ignoring player '_________'.

[viletruths-blog]

After reading this i suddenly realized that men are really socialized to thinks of women as a mere sexual objects. To think that every female is put on this earth to be a man's sex slave is down right outrageous! Looking at this dialogue I quickly became infuriated, especially when he asked her if she was into anal sex. What ever happened to a man actually trying to get to know a female, before thinking he has a chance to score. Yet, some of these same men would hate if the female they were interested in had only had sex on their mind, in which they would be viewed as a whore or slut. So here goes my confusion about some men. Some men what to have sex very quickly with a female, but if she opens her legs to quick she would be labeled a whore. If she says no, then she would be every name in a book, specifically a bitch or prude. This is where stereotypes lose me, because it seems that women are always labeled as something negative.

[viletruths-blog]

"Raunchy" is the new form of "liberation": The death of Feminism

Ariel Levy raised very good points in her reading, where our culture seems to confuse or affiliate "liberation" and "raunchy", which are two totally different things. She gave an example of "Girls Gone Wild" (I hate those videos), which exposes young women flashing various body parts (butt, boobs, and sometimes vagina) during spring beaks in various popular places (mainly Cancun and Miami). Some of the people she spoke to raised an issue, where they believe that these girls were liberated and were expressing their liberation. I personally feel that they were violating themselves, because when most of the girls perform this act, they are under the influence of illicit drugs or alcohol. So please tell me, how can you be liberated or expressing liberation when you are high and drunk as hell? Also, these girls flash their body parts for trucker hats, tees, or beads. That's definitely not liberation, if you are doing it for a promo trinket. So I agree with Levy, Raunchy is NOT liberation. 

What I also noticed is the support of "whiteness" being defined as beauty. Levy wrote, "The cameramen received bonuses if they captured a hot girl- as opposed to a normal girl- flashing on camera. 'Joe's looking for tens.' said Leist. 'You know , 100 to 110 pounds, big boobs, blonde, blue eyes, ideally no piercing or tattoos." (p. 12-13) The term "hot" is ideally associated with a white, thin, boobielicious gorgeous female. So by aiming at this specific type of female and only featuring them in their commercials, they the audience view that this is what hot/beauty is. Beauty/sex has become intertwined with things you can buy, such as bleach, spray on tans, and plastic surgery. 

Levy also raised a point where she said that women who go out and have sex with various men or perform sexual act in front of cameras, because of feeling empowered, but in actuality it isn't a sense of empowerment or control . Rather these women tell themselves they are empowered, but they are actually tarnished, especially since majority of these women have a history of sexual abuse and violence. She used the example of Jenna Jameson, who is a famous porn star. Jameson has made profits and became an entrepreneur from selling sex, where she symbolizes sex as a mere commodity. She expressed her past of being abused by intimate partners, and how she can't watch herself in her own films. She believes that she uses her sexuality and sex to serve her purpose and believes sex is an exchange in power. But, isn't sex suppose to be about pleasure rather than power? This just shows me that those who perform sexual acts on camera don't do their job for the pleasure of it, but rather for the power they feel to make up when they felt powerless (while being abused). How can you be powerful during a act that is suppose to be pleasurable? I agree with Levy, how can we make these porn stars symbolize post feminists, when they have issues themselves? How can they symbolize liberation, when they don't even know what it feels to be liberated, because they are mere commodity.

Think about it...

Source: "Raunch Culture" and "Shopping for Sex" from Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy

[viletruths-blog]

My viewpoint of "Fun Home" by Alison Bechdel

First and foremost, this graphic memoir was completely awesome, because it contained so little but spoke big things. Throughout this memoir, I thought I sensed of hate Alison felt for her father, due to absence a father figure (even though he was present). I felt like a sense Alison's father envied her, because she was who he wanted to be; a girl. It seemed he put all this stress for her to have all these feminine qualities and be so girly, so that he can live through her. It also seemed that he started to hate who she was becoming, because she was a tomboy and enjoyed doing stereotypical 'boyish" things, especially dressing like one. 

The book seemed to be totally focused on her father and his big secret, which he never spoke of. In all the memoir wasn't just about Alison's father, but rather the unspoken connection they had with one another. The connection behind their homosexuality and how Alison could come out and live her life happily with whomever without penalty or being shunned, unlike her father growing up in the 50s. Even though it's perceived that her father was absent as a father figure, he was technically there, especially when she came out about her sexuality. I personally felt that he seen this happening while she was young, because he went through the same challenges. Even though he wasn't doing the ideal fathering techniques, he gave her guidance through literature, in which I felt help her identify her true self. It was also a way for him to share a piece of himself with her, especially since men aren't suppose to be "emotional". It was a way for him to still be what it means to be a "man" without feeling like less than one by verbally admitting that he was also homosexual or bisexual.

[viletruths-blog]

Fairies?!!! Wtf!

"Normal" men and "fairies" intermingled casually at many saloons, some of which were well known as "fairy places" in their neighborhoods... investigators found a room behind the first-floor saloon where a dozen or more youths waited on male customers. "The boys have powder on their faces like girls and talk to you like disorderly girls talk to men," (p. 42)

First and Foremost “fairies”?! Why in the hell are gay men labeled “fairies” I find it funny that gay men are referred to as “fairies” to feminize them. When I think of fairies, I visualize mystical Tinkerbell's lookalikes who fly around sprinkling fairy dust from their wands. In a sense I feel that this is the most disrespectful label for gay men.

Now moving along...

When I first learned about the Bowery, I remember learning that it was a safe haven for mostly gay men.The Bowery was known was a center for prostitution. This was literally the only place, in which gay men can literally be themselves. Although they were known and constantly called "male degenerates" there seemed to be a sense of community and identity in the Bowery. These saloons that acted as safe havens, were also social centers for both gay men and working-class "normal" men. What I found weird is that these "normal" men ran away from their private homes in the boondocks, to live on the wild side at the Bowery. Some even made complaints about how the "degenerates" behaved, but I noticed that these men visited more than one time. The question is why visit more than one time, if they behaved so immorally??!!

Source: "Bowery as Haven and Spectacle" from Gay New York by George Chauncey

[viletruths-blog]

Response to "They don't want to cruise your type: Gay men of color and the racial politics of exclusion" from Men's Lives by Chong-Suk Han

I found this article to be very interesting, because it relates to "Paris is Burning" in some context. In the documentary, I remember someone stating that it's hard to be a gay black man. This article mainly focused on issues pertaining to race and racism in the gay community. What I found ironic is that gay colored men are objectified just like colored women. I can recall doing research in my migration & crime and sex & culture courses, in which we touched base on those who are non-white are labeled as "exotic", especially those from foreign countries. The gest i got from this article was that being white means being privileged and being looked as the norm, whether you're gay or straight. On the other hand, if you are a colored you get the short end of the stick whether you're or gay, straight, male or female. To be colored and gay are like two negatives, because you are seen as being only good enough when you are on a vacation in exotic places or only for a fantasy. The question I have is why are those that were quoted are so fixated on dating white men? They know that they are only desirable sometimes, but yet they still want to deal with those who characterize them as the "other". What I also found ironic is that Asian men are looked upon as being submissive and exotic, which are stereotypes of Asian women. Black men are only wanted because of their penises and are looked as being aggressive and oversexed, which are also some characteristics of Black female stereotypes. It just amazes me the sterotypical similarities between gay colored men and colored women.

Source:"They don't want to cruise your type: Gay men of color and the racial politics of exclusion" fromMen's Livesby Chong-Suk Han

[viletruths-blog]

Yes! Paris was burning...

Throughout this piece, I can tell hooks was highly upset with the documentary "Paris is Burning." Her piece was very insightful, in which I never looked at this documentary from a race and class point of view. Hooks raised a point where the black men in the film who dressed in drag try to portray femininity, in which femininity to them is white women. It was confirmed in the documentary that at these balls the ultimate goal is "realness", in which realness is whiteness. Hooks felt that black men were showing some kind of hatred towards black women. I disagree with this, because Pepper did acknowledge black models as well as white models. What I found interesting was Pepper spoke about never wanting to do a sex change, because he felt that women are treated worst than men, especially black women. I find it funny that he is aware of the treatment of women, which caused him to not want a sex change. I also like the fact that even though he dressed as a woman, he acknowledge and stated he does not know how a woman feels. To me that was a significant statement, because he acknowledged gender and know that as a man he can never understand what women feel, even if he dressed as one. 

Source : Documentary "Paris is Burning" and "Is Paris Burning?" by bell Hooks

[viletruths-blog]

A response to "Transgendering: Blurring the Boundaries of Gender" by Wendy Mckeena and Suzanne Kessler, "Transgender Liberation" by Leslie Feinberg, and "Be All that You Can Be" from My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein

All of these readings were interesting and looked at different aspects of the term “transgender”. Bornstein used personal experience and definitions from others to explain the term, which showed that everyone doesn't have the same meaning for the term. Feinberg looked at it from a historical context, where explained that transgenders were normally women, and those women were honored and respected on the same level as men. McKenna and Keesler also looked at transgender from a historical context, used linguistics, and incorporated theories. I liked Bornstein’s reading the most because she explained that to be transgender doesn't mean to alter you genitalia, but some people make the choice to do that. To be transgender means to be absent minded about what you were taught what was “normal” when it came to playing your gender role. I remember growing up and being close to this women in my building, because I thought she was flyest and prettiest female in this world. She was a model and she did a damn good job at it. I remember when she moved away, my mom felt like she had to tell me that my role model was a transsexual. I was kind of confused, because a transsexual was never in my vocabulary. My mom further explained to me that y role model was born a “he”. I know my mom didn't want to tell me from before because she knew I had a big mouth, would ask too many questions, and ask to see various body parts (yes I was a very inquisitive child lol!). I knew my dad never wanted me to be around her as much as I was, because he’s old school and could never grasp the idea of someone feeling they were living in the wrong body. I remember the various reactions when the news spread throughout the building. Some were appalled, some were shocked, some didn't care, and some were oblivious to who she was. Then I realized that even if she was a born a male, she was the prettiest male in the worlddddd!

Source: "Transgendering: Blurring the Boundaries of Gender" by Wendy Mckeena and Suzanne Kessler, "Transgender Liberation" by Leslie Feinberg, and "Be All that You Can Be" from My Gender Workbook by Kate Bornstein

[viletruths-blog]

Dear Women of Color, Planned Parenthood was created just for us!

This article reminds me of what I have learned about the testing of birth control on Puerto Rican women, which caused them to become sterile. I remember in my penology class, for our midterm my professor made us watch this documentary of Planned Parenthood. I initially knew that Planned Parenthood advertisements targeted minorities, especially Black females (young and old). I automatically assumed they targeted minorities due to high birth rates at a young age, but I learned that Planned Parenthood was created so that minorities will not become the dominant race. Crazy huh?! In the documentary you seen young women forced by doctors to be sterilized, where they stated that the government would take away theirs and their guardians public assistance. This article supported the idea that most of those being sterilized came from poor families with low education levels. I felt that those who were in control were trying to prevent more “bad apples” from being produced. 

"Sterilization was legal and socially accepted while abortions were illegal and morally acceptable." (p. 273) This quote totally shocked me. Your social accepted if you decide to not bring children into this world or you're forced to do so, because you are deemed  inferior to those who are superior. To me that makes absolutely no sense! Your accepting a female to rip out her womb, but its unacceptable for a female to chose whether she's ready to be a parent?!! Absolutely absurd! To say that these Puerto Rican women freely chose to sterilize themselves is a lie, I personally feel that they were forced and influenced to believe that this would be the right thing to do. To say "I don't want to have children, because I don't want to create a higher poor socioeconomic population", clearly doesn't sound to right to me. Especially, since I have heard of success stories from those who come from very poor backgrounds. I'm just very pro-choice when it comes to abortions and having children. I believe that women should have the right to choose what goes on with and within their bodies.

Source: "Sterilization Among Puerto Rican Women" fromCities of the United States by Iris Lopez

[viletruths-blog]

A woman is not defined by her beauty or sexuality... respect her VEIL!

Basically what I got from this reading is that French supporters of the ban on headscarves want to make Muslim women like women who don't follow Islam and equal to their male counterparts. By them banning headscarves it's like unmasking the female, showing off her beauty, her sexuality, and most of all her body.

Personally, I feel that government shouldn't impose on religion. To strip these women of what they have been taught is to keep them modest is violating and disgusting. Yes, in some sense I personally feel that the Islam belief does make women look inferior, but that's from a person on the outside looking in. Islam may be empowering for women, because it forces men not to focus on their looks. It technically makes men look at more things than the physical aspect of a female.

Also, I feel like the fear of terrorism/extremist help created this ban of headscarves, but they used equality as an excuse. French legislators state that by them banning the headscarf, they were removing the sign/symbol of women's inequality. People tend to perceive things different when they don't understand and/or they're not use to it. I feel that French legislators aren't looking at it in a sense that it is a part of these women daily lives, but rather looking at it as simply a symbol. Unfortunately, women are always going to be unequal to men. By attacking and banning something affiliated with religion is not going to help fight for equality. For that there should be a fight against religion period, since it seems to be an influence in the subordination of women.

                                                         Source: "Sexuality" from The Politics of the Veil by Joan Wallach Scott

[viletruths-blog]

I shall save my vagina for the right one... Ummm.... let me rethink that over again.

First and foremost I respect this writer for telling her personal story as being a white single mother and recognizing the stereotypes women of color are placed with when they make the same choices.

Now moving along to the writing itself...

I think that it is totally awesome that some people choose to be abstinent, but I do not like the fact that they tend to make those who choose to experiment sexually as being morally wrong. Really and truly in modern day society, what is really amazing/significant about being a virgin (especially for women)? If we take it into historical context, remaining a virgin til you were married (for women) just promised your offspring (especially male) inheritance.

I found it funny that teens are talking about waiting for the right one, being married, and making God choose their right partner for them, where I feel that in today's society youth are having sex earlier and earlier in age. This article showed how religion influences change and makes individuals believe that if they become abstinent and join a religious group, they change and become a new person. Personally, I'm really not a religious person so this a crock of bull-crap to me.

I also noticed that the write never to us the race of the individual she spoke to, where she bought up the point that abstinece and change is based on race and class. Looking at black female stereotypes, the Jezebel is the oversexed character, who can not be changed. In this instance this writer bought up the same point, that black women can not gain back their "purity" like white women can. I agree with her, especially when I look at things in the media and movies. The darker the female the less pure she is.

Source: "Abstinence" from Wannabes, Goths, and Christians: The Boundaries of Sex, Style, and Status by Amy C. Wilkins 

[viletruths-blog]

Embrace Fatherhood and Masculinity, but make sure you don't look Homosexual... Really?!

To be honest I really didn't like this article too much, because it seemed repetitive. When I constantly see things repeated I tend to get bored. Basically what I got from the reading is that the FRM wants men to embrace fatherhood, but maintain their heterosexuality and masculinity. So it's okay to be a dad as long as whatever you are doing doesn't make you look feminine or sissy like? So you mean to tell me the fathers who have tea parties with their daughters are less of a man? I honestly think that when men step of that "what is to be a man box" they are more of a man. When they can show compassion, emotions, and be a father at the same time, it shows that women aren't the only ones capable of playing the emotional role. 

Source: "Domesticating Masculinity and Masculinizing Domesticity in Contemporary US Fatherhood Politics" by Anna Gavanas

[viletruths-blog]

It's OKAY parents to share household resposibilites... Trust me fellas, you will not be less of a "man" if you mop a floor or two!

This article basically focused on the various roles parents take when raising a child. Typically in our society people look to women to perform what is considered to be "women's work" (cleaning, child rearing, cooking, etc), where men only protect the family and do maintenance around the household. The reason I really liked this reading is because it shows how those stereotypical roles for both men and women have shifted a bit. In this reading I fell in love with the fact that men took on the role of making themselves part of the child rearing process. While being engaged more with their children and helping their wives around the home, you see that they become more sensitive. Sensitive in a sense that they begin to understand their wives and the forced stereotypes and also become more emotionally attached to their children. Throughout the article I seen that either they shared the task or men just did majority of the work, with the exception to breastfeeding. I find it amazing how society is somewhat shifting and relationships are becoming more equal. I know in my household, my father does everything from cooking to cleaning, but he does not do laundry. My mom wouldn't even allow him to do it. I guess in a sense she feels that it's a little too drastic and it's a females job, because only my mother and I do laundry. She states that it's because we do it the right way, but I feel it has something to do with emasculating him. One day I'm going to put him to the test and ask him to do laundry with me.

                               Source: "Household labor and the routine production of gender" by Scott Coltrane

[viletruths-blog]

Never ever call a "man" a FAG!

These two readings nicely compliment one another. In both pieces I noticed how men show off their hegemonic masculinity. For example, my favorite cousin Richard is what we would call a "tough guy" and he always states that he's a "man". When he was younger he was very attached to his mother and older sister, but as he grew up he detached himself, because he didn't want to be perceived as a "momma's boy". When, I noticed that as he knew he became more competitive, he joined more tournaments to show that he was the best in basketball, and boasted every time that he won a game. Then he started to look at women as sexual objects, because he can never keep a girlfriend. He chose his male counterparts over the girlfriends he had. He believed that there was no female good enough for him and used them purely for sex. I also noticed when he got into arguments and they called him a "fucking faggot", he would flip out and want to fight. By him retaliating and fighting he's proving to others (mainly his male peers) his strength and his sexuality, because to be perceived as being homosexual is not a masculine norm.

Source: "Welcome to the Men's Club: Homosociality and the Maintenance of Hegemonic Masculinity" by Sharon Bird and "Dude, you're a fag': adolescent masculinity and fag discourse" fromMen's Livesby C.J. Pascoe

[viletruths-blog]

ATTENTION MEN!! It's not only about being aggressive, but have some emotions. GEESH!!

As I was reading I seen how they were all related to one another. What I got from it is that in order to be a "man" you must have sex with women, be aggressive, don't cry, don't take crap from anyone, have money/be the breadwinner, show no emotions, and be in control both in the private and public sphere. As I look at the men in my family, I noticed that nearly all of them possess these characteristics. For example, when my father's bestfriend/nephew passed away I recall never seeing my dad cry  before and during the funeral. Yes! He was devastated by the news and show very little emotions, but he never cried. About 3 days after the funeral at 2am, I heard my father weeping for the first time in the bathroom with the door locked and light off. I immediately knew that he didn't want to cry in front of my mother and I, because his role as being the head of the household he had to be strong. He dared not to show weakness no matter how much he was hurt. Another example, is when my little cousin Elijah use to cry so much, sometimes for no reason. My aunt use to baby him, but my uncle (who was in the military) use to constantly tell him to "man up", "be a man", or "men don't cry like babies". Back then it never dwelled on me that this was enforcing gender and telling a young boy to suppress his feelings, because it is perceived as wrong for his gender. I also remember his older brother and other kids on the block constantly teasing him and beating him up, calling him a pussy. When I was younger, I never understood why they called young boys who weren't as aggressive as others pussy (slang word used to for a females genitalia). I just didn't get the metaphor of vagina and being a cry baby. Is there something that wrong with a vagina, that its used to "feminize" a boy? I think not! There is nothing morally wrong with a man crying at least we know he doesn't have psychopathic characteristics.

Sources: "The Act-like-a-man box" from Men's Lives by Paul Kivel, "All Men are Not Created Equal: Asian Men in US History" from Men's Lives by Yen Le Espiritu, and "What is Hegemonic Masculinity" by Mike Donaldson