Elusive Moron @virginthewolf - Tumblr Blog

chaofruity

hey everyone try this

Shut up

1-800-fuckyou

chaofruity

1-800-fuckyou

queenpalms

humancomputer-blog1

If you need me I’ll be in the bath watching lava on my television

cloudfreed

“sigh…. this extremely hot water will have to do”

maculategiraffe

I have a very vivid memory of sitting in a first grade classroom (first grade was my first actual classroom because my mom homeschooled me for kindergarten) thinking “I am literally going to die, I can’t live one more minute without reading a story, but I’ve already gotten my book confiscated for peeking at it during class and I have no backup book and I’m going to die” and then thinking in a burst of divine inspiration “WHAT IF I TELL MYSELF A STORY INSIDE MY HEAD. THEY CAN’T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. PHYSICALLY THEY CANNOT.”

they could not

maculategiraffe

But then when I was in second grade (at a different school, because I told my mom I wished I could die so I didn’t have to go to school any more and it alarmed her so much she got me sent to a Montessori-influenced magnet school instead) we had spelling “pre tests” on Mondays where we were given (out loud) a big long list of words to write down, all on a theme (like say “trees”) and ranging in difficulty from simple (“leaf”) to complex (“deciduous”), and depending on how many you spelled right, your spelling words to study for the week were either the simplest set, the medium set, or the most complex set.

Great system, right? Except that I was such an insufferable little bookworm I routinely got them ALL right, which resulted in me being excused from spelling most weeks and told to write a story instead, which is really how it all began, because until then I hadn’t written anything down.

Oppression may stimulate the imagination but nurture and encouragement are where it’s AT

dovewithscales

I feel like this story is important.

astrocyte-deactivated20171202

when you have anxiety so you think about every possible thing that can go wrong in a situation and something goes wrong

letusgototherose-deactivated202

personally i think if you stick your fingers into my enclosure i have the right to bite you, and i will, and i will do it hard

adz

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it.

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

lafavoritaedios

my brain can do this kind of stuff but ask me what i did yesterday and my mind is blank

mushinoonna-deactivated20210208

fuck it kfc in the basement

powerburial

colonel amontillado: You have just got to try my limited Cajun-style fried chicken. I have a bucket down here just for you

somecutething

atheistj

Incorrect Star Wars quotes

withextra

vaguely requested by @seriouslyaliens.

officialunitedstates

face-mechon

there’s a lot of “if you’re lgbt answer these questions in the tags” and i just think its not very nice how theres nothing for cis and straight people.

SO. if you’re cis and straight, reblog this and put in the tags your full name, zip code, credit card number, those 3 sexy numbers on the back, and your social security number xoxo

cl0wnmoth

FINALLY we get some INCLUSION from the “tolerant left”. Now, if you’ll EXCUSE me, I’ve got a LOT of numbers to type

sumikatt

thought i should share

unpretty

i… okay

caleanamajored

wanna sort of explain the bit here and say that Worldwide Webster looks quite thin bc he is a rescue horse, picked up by an organization that allows you to sponsor the rehabilitation of horses. so the mcelboys are sponsoring Worldwide Webster so the facility can take care of him and get him ready to find a forever home!

and, of course, pay for his entry into higher education

unpretty