[chasertiff-deactivated20190402]

Prince Philip is the most badass prince EVER. And here's why.

Okay, so he’s got a girly face, and he wears tights and some high boots. Sure.

But check out that noble steed. That’s one ready-to-kick-ass-and-take-names steed.

While other princesses just run away and leave nothing, Philip gets AN INVITE TO HER HOUSE. He gets a song, a dance, and a first date.

He comes home, just to tell his dad he’s not going to marry the princess because he’s in love.

No. Other. Reason. He rides in and is just like, “I met the girl I’m going to marry. Now I’ve got a birthday party to be at. Bye Dad.”

Now how much do you think his dad weighs? That short fat little man? Probably pretty heavy.Not a problem for Prince Philip.

And then he gets jumped by goblins, both hands tied behind his back

But that’s not enough to stop Prince Philip.Oh no.

He breaks his hands free and starts chucking goblins.

Look at that face. That face. The “BITCH JUST YOU WAIT” face. He may be tied down by a dozen goblins but he’s not gonna take no shit from this witch.

In fact, he’s so strong, she ends up keeping him chained to the wall, but he still fights back.

Now when he finally does get free–

He’s ready to go into battle UNARMED. He don’t need no shield or sword, he’s going to go punch Maleficent’s face in with his fist. If Flora didn’t stop him, he probably would have, too.

Backed up against a cliff edge, nowhere to go. Fighting off goblins. But there’s so many and just one Philip.

NBD I’LL JUST JUMP AND SLIDE DOWN THE ROCK PILE IN MY SKIN-TIGHT TIGHTS.

Gate closing?

who gives a fuck? certainly not prince philip.

Lighting hitting rocks around me?

NBD BRO

Giant forest of thorns?

Bitch, get out of my way. I’ve got a princess to save.

Giant dragon of hell?

CHARGE HEAD ON.

Fire? Dragon? Burning dry twigs? No. Fucking. Problem.

Just smack that bitch on the nose.

Sheer cliff face? Fire burning behind me? Back to a wall?

Calm down guys, I got this.

I’LL JUST FUCKING SCALE IT ONE-HANDED.

And fight the bloody beast from 500 feet high, with literally nothing to save me if I fall.

Lose the shield off the cliff?

JUST STAND THERE AND SMILE ‘CAUSE I’VE GOT A FUCKING MAGIC SWORD THAT’S GOING THROUGH YOUR HEART BITCH.

Just chuck it. Straight through.

Then jump out of the way…

And survive. That’s what happens to bitches who mess with the woman I love.

Get the horse.

Get the girl.

EXPLAIN NOTHING.

that’s how he EARNED his happily ever after.

Srsly. The most bad. ass. prince. disney ever wrote.

[teacupsandtimelords]

I 1,000% never thought of it from this point of view before and am now screaming Too Hot, Hot Damn, Made that dragon wanna retire man.

[thorneofbriar]

“EXPLAIN NOTHING”

[ididnotorderagianttrampoline]

IVE ALWAYS LOVED HIM AND THIS IS WHY

[gottabsuckafree]

Nicki’s fans >>>>>

[thingsinslowmotion]

This is so cute

[princes-heels-deactivated201912]

nicki screamed bc even she couldn’t keep up w him lmao

[consivanqueen]

A Land Without Guns: How Japan Has Virtually Eliminated Shooting Deaths

[weavemama]

HE. IS. A MONSTER

[weavemama]

1.3 million people in Puerto Rico are living off food stamps. 40% of people in Puerto Rico won’t be able to properly afford food in a humanitarian crisis. Let me repeat that for the people who are against financial help, 40% of people in Puerto Rico won’t be able to properly afford food in a humanitarian crisis.

[thanatoez]

he’s denying people supplies necessary for their survival. you can’t tell me this man isn’t a monster.

[weavemama]

He also told them what they’re going through isn’t as bad because it’s not a “real catostrophe like Katrina”. I really hope folks don’t forget about this horrific crisis response in 2020 and even in 2018 when it comes to the midterm elections. We can’t let this type of selfish government be in charge anymore.

[conf3ttif4lling-deactivated2017]

the fact that this was written two years ago and it’s still relevant… what does that tell you?

[runawaymarbles]

I’ve been saying this for years but guys

Sandy Hook. 

Sandy Hook was the Nightmare Scenario. It was the “that’s not realistic.” If I’d been arguing with someone who was anti gun control and I said “someone could take a gun and go into a school and kill thirty kindergartners in just a couple of minutes, how would you feel then,” they would have said I was exaggerating, that’s manipulative and unrealistic. 

but that’s what happened. 

and the thing is

if thirty dead, white, upper middle-class kindergartners in Connecticut aren’t going to motivate change on gun control

then they’re never going to change for queer people in Florida, and they’re not going to change for music fans in sin city, and they’re not going to change for college students in Washington and Oregon, and they’re not going to change and they’re not going to change. 

A white man can buy 19 automatic weapons and no one is going to raise an eyebrow. And then afterwards they’ll send thoughts and prayers. 

[anonymouscomrade]

you wanna know what the really disgusting part is?

it wasn’t just that 30 kids were killed at Sandy Hook and they didn’t care enough to finally do something

it’s that 30 kids were killed at Sandy Hook, and instead of caring enough to finally do something, some actively dug their heads further in the sand and dismissed the entire thing as a fucking hoax

so yeah it’s not just that they’re doing nothing but sending meaningless “thoughts and prayers”, there are people out there doing the equivalent of sticking their fingers in their ears and screaming NA NA NA NA NA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

[dustyhobo]

[humansofnewyork]

“I came to America when I was six years old. Mom said she brought us here so that we’d have opportunities in life. She said that back in the Bahamas, it’s only the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots.’ She wanted us to have more choices. But I don’t think she fully understood how things work here. She was a news reporter back in the Bahamas. But the only job she could get here was taking care of oldpeople. My dad could only work construction. We moved to four different states just so they could find work. They always told me, ‘Just study hard in school and everything will work out fine.’ So that was my plan. I got all A’s up until the 11th grade– except for one B in math. My goal was to get top twenty in my class, then go to college, then get a degree, and then get a job. I realized the truth my senior year. My guidance counselor told me I couldn’t get a loan. I couldn’t get financial aid. Even if I could find a way to pay for school, I probably couldn’t get a job. I felt so mad at everyone. There were some kids who completely slacked off in school, but even they were going to college. I started having panic attacks. My dad told me not to worry. He called me a ‘doubting Peter.’ He invited all his friends over to a fish fry to help raise money. And he did get $3,000. But that wasn’t enough. So I searched really hard on the Internet and found the Dream.us scholarship. My mom was so excited when I got it. They’re paying for me to go to Queens College. Now my mom’s really scared again because DACA got revoked. She’s crying all the time at work. I try to tell her that no matter what happens, we’re not going to die. We just might have to start over.”

[ithelpstodream]

[queenofthesunsetstrip]

“Magic is really very simple, all you’ve got to do is want something and then let yourself have it.” ✨ I wish I could dress up as Marnie everyday. Everything on this costume was handmade, even the little star and moon patches. 🌙Somehow it all came together in only a few days, must have been thanks to that powerful Cromwell magic.🔮

[the-real-eye-to-see]

“this is the 90’s" 

But in 2017 this shit is still the same. 

[califaskaren]

You can tell how upset and uncomfortable they were. So sick.

[beeishappy]

Corden | Meyers | Kimmel | Colbert | Conan

[cindysuke]

Favorite Looney Tunes: Back in Action Scenes (4/???)

Bugs and friends finding a Wal-Mart in the middle of the desert.

[srsfunny]

Pass Me The Knork, Please

[delightfullyinstantwonderland]

[troublemasochist]

why the hell did this make me laugh

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

“There is a copy of the NES game Golf in the firmware of every Switch system”

Me: Oh haha, what a weird thing, probably some remnant from the debugging process -

“Since that was a game that Satoru Iwata programmed himself, this could have been intended as a way of saying that Iwata is spiritually a part of every Switch and is watching over and protecting every system.”

Me:

[thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis]

Oh my God, so hackers have found out the way to enable you to play the game. You know how?

On July 11th*, the date of Iwata’s passing, doing Iwata’s “directly to you” motion with the Joy-Cons on the home screen will play a sound clip of Iwata and launch the game.

(* Before you try this yourself, note that simply changing the date on your system will not work, as this runs off the Switch’s internal internet-synced clock, meaning that changing the date manually will only work if the system has never been connected to the internet)

I… I can’t…

[lunarhalo24]

It goes even further than that.

Firstly, opening the game like this person is in the video is only possible with a brand new unit on system version 1.0.0 that has never been connected to the Internet. Because of this, opening it is pretty hard to replicate, unless if you have a completely brand new Switch. So, even if the system’s internal date is on July 11, it still won’t open if the system version is up to date.

The thing is, it’s not supposed to be opened.

The hidden Golf game has been described as an omamori, which, in Japanese culture, is a charm usually bought at shrines that offers spiritual protection and good luck if you keep it close to you. Sometimes they’re made of cloth, and look like a tiny bag, which can contain a written prayer. People often tie them to something like a purse or a backpack, so that it’s always with them. Here are a bunch of different ones:

Omamori are not supposed to be opened, as doing so is said to remove its blessing.

Seeing as the hidden Golf game on the Switch is so difficult to run under normal circumstances, it’s probably not supposed to be opened in the first place. It’s likely meant to represent an omamori in Iwata’s honor. Its very fitting, because of how portable the Switch is, since people are likely to take it with them like they would with an omamori strapped to a purse or backpack.

[megustamemes]

[metadefumaca]

[narcissusroad]

#the starter pack for ‘how to deal with villain apologists

[dealanexmachina]

Bonus:

[captainlordauditor]

[thechronicleofshe]

“I’m having a very terrible childhood right now” was such a line.

[writing-prompt-s]

Your super power is that you are average, at everything you do.

[rameldrive-deactivated20170511]

no, no- imagine how amazing this would be! you’re average- but the key here is at EVERYTHING you try and do

try and get the cure to cancer? well, aint a fingers snap and done cure but its a cure. doctors worldwide are astounded

try and learn how to communicate with an alien race? well, youre not fluent but its passing and humanity hasnt even invented deep space flight- you just managed to get their signal and have a chat

want to fly? well- youre a bit wobbly but goddamn its working

being average at everything is amazing bc if we assume anything you try works then eveything is at least working a bit

[jewishdragon]

Jack of all trades, master of none, better than a master of one