[laaylic]

[unclefather]

Just had a child say “circumcise me, captain!” And his mom smacked him in the back of the head and said “I’m so sorry I don’t know where he heard that I don’t even know if he knows what that means” and I’m thinking about how kids are just walking shitpost generators

[blackwoolncrown]

Are straight white people okay????

What is this?!

[squeezemetillipop]

People like this exist. Interesting.

[feliicityrampant]

this story has a part 2

[uuchiha]

[swan2swan]

I can’t believe a humble security guard saved our planet from the aliens.

[rodrickheffeley]

we all are expecting tony and steve to die. but what if marvel killed thor instead

[thor-appreciation-blog]

@ MARVEL

[youralameboi]

A moment in time, ft. My bum 🤫

[kowalski-c]

Yes,I’m.

[w-w82]

[meechonmarss]

Adam & Eve

[randan-a]

That very faint “Why’re you still eating the apple?” 💀

[nefertiti-bangz-deactivated2018]

“It’s the first thing on the syllabus” 🙃

[thefourtwentytimes]

if you have not watched this you need to because this is the explanation for all the fuckery going on today 100% And it is funny funny funny

[ampervadasz]

Menő

[forgotten-sea-god]

[la-plus-heureuse]

say what you want, but this shit was better than the scene in legally blonde when elle wins her case

[raincityruckus]

elle and jake wouldn’t make it a competition, they’d want us to appreciate the other for doing a darn good job.

[djmixedtape]

This scene had me whooping like a white suburban dad at their son’s football game

[catchymemes]

Those are some damn cleaned glass doors

[imonlyadumpling]

Wholesome prank

[polyglotplatypus]

im very grateful for the lessons in photography i was taught in stop motion class because just now they made it possible to photograph the stars with my phone in spite of the camera usually not detecting the light of stars because theyre so dim,,,, enjoy these shiny motherfuckers

[polyglotplatypus]

ok so if everythings normal, your phone camera should have a manual mode (sometimes called pro mode). in it, change the settings of the shutter lag to 20 seconds, then put the phone down on some stable, plane surface and press the photo button (usually when using your camera, the volume buttons can be used as photo button) and let the phone still for the whole 20 seconds. 

(basically the problem with most cameras is that they dont have a very good light sensitivity in the dark, however that doesnt mean they cant detect it at all. the longer the shutter is open, the more light your camera takes in and the more burnt/light your pic will be, so in (literally) dark situations, make the shutter lag longer to get all that light you need! also i said 20 seconds but really you can make it shorter or longer depending on what kinda stuff you want for your stars)

[nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear]

Yes this!

Additionally, adjust your ISO to the highest number (mimics the film used for very low light and low speed images)

And set your shutter speed to the longest time possible (on my phone it’s 10 seconds).

Leave your focus settings on Auto, and if your phone camera has a timer option, turn that on (five seconds is generally enough).

Plan your shot first, then find a place to set your phone down so you can get the image you want. The less light pollution, the better; you’ll pick up FAR more stars in your picture.

Once you know what you want to shoot, tap your screen to “focus” it, then hit the button to take the picture, set your phone down, and back away from the “tripod”. Don’t touch your phone for a good 15 seconds, just to be sure.

You will not be disappointed in the results, let me assure you.

Not even a little bit.

[someone-online]

@the-mango-bird

[yikyakapp-blog]

[dovahkiin-official]

is everyone who reblogged this okay?

[fayheda]

no

[inglori-ous]

sun gurl in my sunny home

[anarchetypalarchive]

i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

[satan-graffitied-my-soul]

The “I won’t hesitate, bitch” vine but @ friends who don’t love themselves

[smallbats-deactivated20241003]

i dont normally post full body pics that i didnt take myself, but i want to be less afraid of who i am. im very dysmorphic and going through some stuff i will talk about at a later time. my sister took these pics of me, and hey i smiled :)