amani

#1 milf enthusiast | 20 | she/her

[ilyparkerellis]

i bet Michaela was secretly SO embarassed to have fallen head over heels in love with Francesca Bridgerton at first sight, like favourite cousin's wife aside it's the most reputation ruining thing that has ever happened to her in her five foot nothing rake life, like ohhh really? You've developed an all-consuming, soul destroying passion for Francesca Bridgerton? Diamond of the season Francesca Bridgerton? Everyone wants her Francesca Bridgerton? Tall gorgeous porcelaine skin pretty hair big lovely hazel eyes piano player beautiful woman Francesca Bridgerton? You can't get her out of your mind? You fall asleep dreaming of her lips? God fucking really. How original. Florals for spring groundbreaking. She thinks the pretty girl is pretty. Should we tell everyone? Should we throw a ball? Should we invite Bella Hadid

[inkskinned]

i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.

[inkskinned]

i wrote this 7 years ago, somehow. every day someone else finds it and whispers to me - oh, i understand this. something always turns in the wash of my stomach: i am so, so glad you feel seen. i wish you had no idea what this post was about.

i wrote this while working in a program for new writers. on wednesdays, two of the teachers would be contractually obligated to read our writing aloud to the group of 300+ teens. i had never read my work in public before. i had something like 6k poems and was panicking about it. none of them are good enough. sometimes the train is howling. it is hard, actually, sometimes, even as an adult.

and then i thought - what is one thing i wish i could tell all of them. each of these 300 kids. what did i need to hear, at 16?

i wanted to tell them about the day you wake up, and the sun feels warm finally. i wanted to tell them about carving a life out of soapstone, your hands turning bloody. i wanted to tell them that sometimes yes - it actually does feel easy. i wanted to tell them about weddings and cookie dough and long road trips. about albums of new music and old friends laughing and the sound of snow falling.

you will learn the pattern of the train. you will learn to close your eyes when you hear the engine rumbling. you will learn to let yourself have the grey days in their lily-soft numbness. sometimes it will feel like life is wet paint, and god has smeared your canvas across a sewer grate. sometimes it will be so boring it isn’t even pronounceable - the tenacious, soundless blankness. survival isn’t just ugly nights and wild mornings. it is also the steady, unimportant moments. it is just driving with your seatbelt on. it is calling a friend on the way home. it is burying your face into the fur of your dog.

when i had finished reading this poem aloud, the auditorium was silent for a solid minute. someone stood up to take a picture of where it had been projected onto a screen, and then three more people followed the action, and then - like a bad internet story, people remembered they were supposed to be clapping. kids came up to me after it - thank you for writing that. i think i hear a train coming.

i would write this differently now, i think, but it has been 7 years. i still live by the tracks. i also haven’t picked up a blade in over 10 years. the scars are still there, but these days i only pick up scissors to cut my hair. i know why you can’t tell your mom about it. i know how the numbness slips over everything, a restless horrible cotton. i know how when you dropped the dish, you weren’t crying about the broken glass. i know about feeling like all the roads have closed their exits, that you aren’t supposed to still-be-here - and yet.

i am still here, and still yours, and i haven’t forgotten. what i’m saying is if any hope is calling to you - i know it’s hard, but you have to listen. i’m saying keep driving, but slow down the car. sit down in the shower, i’m not judging you. we can stay in the dark with the good hot water and do nothing but stare. notice the stab wound. make it through another tuesday.

i know what it is like to miss yourself. do what you need to. come home to me. i am writing to you, my past self, from the future. i’ll be waiting for you.

and when the train is coming - please move.

[morganbritton132]

Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?

Everybody, apparently: No?

[doppelbangin]

Run into a cave and break your ankle so that people have to come find you and they see you lying at the bottom of this beautiful cave and maybe there’s a waterfall and the light from the crystals makes you look really beautiful and they say “Are you okay?” and you say “I think so” and they say “oh my God have you been here alone this whole time with a broken ankle” and you say “it’s okay” and they say “you’re so brave” and you are brave and you look so beautiful surrounded by cave crystals and everyone stands over you and says “oh wow” and “you poor beautiful thing” and “I’m so sorry we let you run into the cave but I’m so glad we found you” and let them carry you home and promise to be your best friends forever and that everything’s their fault and also they named the cave after you and you’re prettier than all of your enemies and your enemies all died of jealousy while you were in the cave.

“How to Respond to Criticism” by Danny M. Lavery for The Toast

[gamemakerm]

seems like plenty of people are lacking the Vitamin

[liquidstar]

it’s really frustrating how you have to wait like, 2 weeks before you can drink milk after you buy it. i know you gotta wait for the date on the bottle but like why cant the store just sell the milk thats ready?

[liquidstar]

[weaselle]

this is what the first generation of internet trolls were like. It’s almost like they were elves once, taken by the dark powers…

[msfbgraves]

Imagine having been born in 1905... And all your life it doesn't fucking stop. The Great War, the Spanish Flu, and then you go out of your mind for 7 years. Everyone is traumatised and nothing matters. Then another crash. And then the rise of fascism, and the War to end all Wars didn't and it's 1945 and you're just about still there. You may have fought or ferried the boys from Dunkirk or sabotaged the Nazi occupiers or worked in the factories and put out fires during the Blitz and you're lucky to be alive, because not all your friends made it. But you are and finally, fucking finally, it stops. It stops. You are tough as nails and you can put that strength to work into building something and you do, and people have cars and can buy icecream and you have a pension fund and the kids have money of their own and no nightmares.

I want that for us. I so want that for us. I want to be the generation that has seen fucking everything and is like a MRSA bug and unfazed and when that Cheeto finally dies, I want us to. Plant the gardens and clean the seas because we can and we want to and we remember some joy, some time of trust even when it got broken and we can say to the 20 somethings "let us show you what we can build, how it can feel."

And maybe Gen beta will take it all for granted like the boomers did, but we can give Gen Z and Alpha some peace because we, and Gen Z and Alpha have seen the Dark Times and fuck that noise.

[lena-luthor]

together, we're unlimited

[drop-of-infinity]

I don’t think we talk enough about how the entirety of Wicked is built on the irony of No One Mourns the Wicked. The musical exists because Glinda feels the need to tell Elphaba’s story, because she is in mourning and entirely alone in that. Glinda’s love is what creates the musical because no one mourns Elphaba except her, and that is an incredibly lonely place to be. She’s just lost two of the most important people to her, and all she’s trying to do is make someone, anyone else see how important they were.

[gideonthe9]

thinking about how kristin has said that whenever glinda is singing high, she's lying and that's she's singing highest in no one mourns the wicked. how she's singing lowest in for good.

[louisegluckpdf]

they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

[wolfienation]

some rhaenicent fic recommendations

grey ridge (ríl liatroma) by molter ( @molter-writes ) - married with kids; business drama; they’re sickeningly cute; arguably the best thing ive read in the fandom; 10 out of 10; read it like 6 times; if you haven’t read it dude what are you waiting for

ride the dragon (and do it quickly) by molter - the #roadtrip fix it 

love is complicated by molter - Alicent is an actress and Rhaenyra is her rich best friend; they idiots and they’re in love; Laena is featured and she is fed up

leaf and blade by molter  - it’s summer; they’re hiding their relationship; they’re teachers; and my all time favorite tag ‘harwin gets a whistle’ 

bodhrán beat by molter - read the tags. its by molter trust me its good.

cleopatra by dontaskmedude   - divergence from episode 4; Joffery does not die; Laenor and Rhaenyra do everything right; Alicent and Rhaenyra raise their kids together 

someone to watch me die by dontaskmedude  - this is just, this is just depressing; good but depressing; like if hurt/no comfort is your thing this is for you; it’s just so, so sad; kinda Alicent in chains/Rhaenyra half year queen era with some timeline tweaks but no happy ending; do not read this if you want them to be happy 

Untouchable by mylordshesacactus - young rhaenicent; if Aemma never died and if Alicent never married viserys; i love this story so much you dont get it

Blame it on Fate by Lumyart ( @lumyart ) - they’re rival co hosts; well, actually, they’re rival co hosts in Alicent’s mind; Rhaenyra is thoroughly enamored (as per usual) 

you don’t know what love is (if you don’t put up a fight) by tansymeadows - viserys manages to last a couple extra days and Rhaenyra returns after Alicent blinked her pretty brown eyes and said “you’ve only just arrived”

The Silver Queen and the Lady in Green by WanderingFan - idk how to explain this; honestly just read it; it’s really good; slow burn; like incredibly slow burn im on chapter 26 rn and they’ve only just become friends a couple chapters ago but god is it worth it 

is it too soon to do this yet (‘cause I know it’s delicate) by Arvedui - episode 1 divergence; it’s cute; they’re cute 

would it be enough (if i could never give you peace?) by Arvedui  - Jeyne Arryn my beloved; you and Laena would get along splendidly when it comes to these two nitwits ( i say with affection) 

Midnights Like This by pure_black_wings - based on Taylor’s album; college setting; slow burn

Duty and Sacrifice (A History of Rhaenyra the Blessed by Archmaester Gyldayn) by TheIronDragon10    (@theirondragonrants) - now when i say i love this story i mean i LOVE this story; if you ever wanted to know what the House of the Dragon looked like thoroughly united then LOOK NO FURTHER; top tier; it’s wonderful; it has angst, it has joy, it has family and sibling vibes, it has slow burn, it has pain and healing and love everything i could ever want from a realistic version of canon where my girls can be happy; emphasis on realistic because the irondragon does not pull any punches 

Cleaving to Rhaenyra by WanderingFan - another episode 4 divergence 

you’ve got your demons (darlin’ they all look like me) by geralehane    ( @geralehane ) - the reincarnation au 

lying (in the hollows of your heart) by wakesiren ( @wakesirens)  - read this for the last scene of chapter 3 and thank me later; update: READ THIS FOR CHAPTER FOUR AND THANK ME LATER

towers and dragons verse by beepboop (permanganato) - Alicent is one adorable nerd okay and Rhaenyra just loves her 

what is it good for? by bluebaric ( @viscountcrow ) - arranged marriage au; Rhaenyra is a war hero; Alicent is perpetually terrified for her life  

tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart by alphayamergo   ( @sydneysageivashkov ) - this was just, this was just hilarious; like picture Corlys and Otto snarling at each other from across the council room trying to convince Rhaenyra to marry either Alicent or Laena and that’s what this is

thine is the queendom by liadrell ( @lesbianalicent ) - this was an excellent read, really good character dive on alicent

Ember to Flame by CrowSaint (@ dayneonychus ) - intriguing concepts 

our shadow over the sea by queensmooting - sigh

Long Live Our Queens! by WanderingFan - they’re gonna kill their fathers and they’re gonna rule together and it’s gonna be great

blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) by dontaskmedude - this made me shed some tears

Of Our Own Accord by 99bad_habits ( @99bad-habits ) - can’t wait to see how this turns out; canon divergence at 1x08; Viserys lives long enough and Rhaenyra returns on dragonback and our girls get to co-rule

and i’ll still see it, until i die by irridescence - h e a r t b r e a k i n g; starts around the winter fever and goes backward from there

by choice by alicents - co-parenting rhaenicent my beloveds <3; family fluff told in segments in a non-linearly fashion; it’s cute; they’re cute; something to read while canon is breaking your heart

good luck, babe! by  somebodytoundress ( @somebodytoundress )- based on the song by chappell roan; they’re friends reconnecting after 10 years about to play lead love interests in a movie. give the song a listen and give the fic a read

am i making you feel sick? by  somebodytoundress - rhaenyra is a vampire. need i say more

fault lines by rogueorbit ( @rogueorbit ) - 1x08 canon divergence; rhaenyra returns on dragonback and her and alicent make peace; alicent plays otto like a fiddle while rhaenyra stands back and chants “i’m in love with you”

once more, to see you by Jazzfordshire ( @jazzfordshire ) - 2x03 canon compliant. takes place after their sept talk. bittersweet as hell. supercorp fans rejoice because jazz wrote it.

there’s more i just got tired so feel free to add your own; there are also other stories by these authors (Wandering, wakesiren, somebodytoundress to name a few) which I have not put here that are also enjoyable so you can check them out 

[grendelsmom]

I think it's fair to give hotd shit for quite a few things, but I still think that how they chose to change Alicent's character was genius. To look at her and ask: what if she was young? What if she was scared? And then, in turn, to have this scared young girl, that was pushed into the cycle of violence and abuse that is feudalism, grow up into a scared wary woman, that doesn't stop the cycle for her children but instead pushes them into it as well, because it's the only way the world works that she knows. Because when her father pushed her into the cycle, he kissed her brow and called it duty. And now she makes her children wed each other and ursurp a throne, continuing all the abuse and violence, because she was told as a girl that if you just follow the rules enough everything will be alright.

And that's also what makes her relationship with Rhaenyra so fascinating. It's love, but it's also resentment. To Alicent Rhaenyra is free. She doesn't follow the rules, flaunts some of them openly. And still it seems like there are no consequences for her. She doesn't follow the rules and still Viserys loves her in a way he never did his children by Alicent. While Alicent breaks and reprieves herself in an attempt to do everything right, but it won't save her.

[toodrunktofindaurl]

she heard the news

[marisatomay]

Parents get sooooooo mad when anyone even remotely implies that if we know it negatively impacts adults then it’s probably quite detrimental to the health and development of a young mind to stick an iPad in front of a child any time they show signs of Behaviors. “Are you calling me a bad parent?” Yeah. I am.

[marisatomay]

“Well, what am I supposed to do when my kid Has Behaviors?” Idk. You somehow lived to adulthood without being an iPad baby. What did the adults around you growing up do when you exhibited Behaviors? Was it a positive on your growth and development? If it wasn’t, do you remember what your child-self had hoped an adult would do? Start there.

[marisatomay]

Anyway. Every generation has its challenges but I think we are all deeply unprepared for just how fucking weird the iPad baby gen, who also had key developmental years during covid social distancing, are showing signs of being.

[3cosmicfrogs]

general ouyang is the living embodyment of While you were being homosexual i studied the blade. i did NOT think about holding hands with esen i did NOT want to watch the first snow with esen while i was studying the blade i was NOT being homosexual i WAS NOT

[creechur-docx]

I think what really elevated Zhu’s character for me was the excellent cheer in which she goes about doing the most morally corrupt things. She’s mild and funny and grins a lot and jokes with her friends and flirts with her wife and loves her sooo tenderly (the end of swbts though oughhh); she’s a monk who can’t fight for shit (or ride a horse) and is altogether a pretty chill guy. And idk it’s so refreshing because the author subverts the (incredibly infuriating) trope of squashing every ‘badass’ non-male character into the snarky-and-cold-and-hates-everyone cast. Zhu is warm and loving and wily and incredibly fucked up and it’s so much more fun to watch than whatever is going on with most YA leads

[saintmercymorn]

I love their dynamic

[thesituation]

the senate is lying to us

[thesituation]

i was really high attempting to reference this tweet but reading it back the next day just sounds like fucking qanon sorry