Mom says I can't have sweets

Dylan | INTP | Yeah I gave him uncooked chicken but he didn't even say fanks doe | B-tag: LaVolpe#1876 | Xbox and other platforms: Voluum

[modogoblin]

[astraldemise]

ice wraith ice wraith

[hugechode]

Cinematic. Iconic. 💊

[87-pounds-deactivated20160310]

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

[magicoftelevision]

[thebagelhut]

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

[motherhenna]

[discount-butlins]

[oakh4rt]

throwback to the time my partner put in his 2 week notice with a birthday card for a 2 year old

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

The Sims is good

[kushblazer666]

my mom’s getting too into the meme game

[lornagonigall]

your mother is funnier than literally everyone on tumblr

[burgerlords]

[lolsofunny]

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

[pettycentral]

[coochie-bandit]

[fred-erick-frankenstein]

Posts like this are the reason why I can’t tell anyone IRL that I’m on Tumblr….. How do you explain that to people??

[justgot1]

I haven’t laughed that hard in ages, oh my god, LITERAL TEARS. Butthole cat, I can’t, help me…

[sar-kalu]

i blaming my incomprehensible humour on tumblr

[toastbutteregg]

[wheatlev]

Horton hears somebody he used to know

[not-a-comedian]

do you ever regret drawing something

[nostrem]

giuseppe stromboli and the briefcase of meatballs is going to be one of those things that i remember out of nowhere when im in a supermarket and i just look like a freak trying not to laugh in public

[nostrem]

[scenicroutes]

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

[sweetstardrop]

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

[scenicroutes]

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

[iguanamouth]

lizsword

its good

[iguanamouth]

theyre fine theyre fine its fine

[futuranna]

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[oksanaallen]

Zukka ✨