Mike Driver
No title available
styofa doing anything
tumblr dot com
Peter Solarz
No title available
wallacepolsom

izzy's playlists!
Today's Document

Product Placement
Jules of Nature

if i look back, i am lost
AnasAbdin
Keni

@theartofmadeline
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

No title available

Love Begins

Kaledo Art
dirt enthusiast

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States

seen from Sweden

seen from India
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Singapore

seen from United States

seen from Taiwan

seen from Japan

seen from Germany

seen from Spain
@vonsitty
i was going to jokingly make a list of things the dungeon meshi guys could eat in the world of dark souls but realized i dont know enough about ecosystems, animal biology, or cooking to achieve this. i dont know if you can eat things that live in a poison swamp. this isnt a problem we deal with very often irl
Dark souls is interesting because it represents an ecosystem in collapse. The curse of undeath would cause unprecedented ecological destruction, that would cause available nutrients to pool in highly specific places, i.e. things that prey on the literally infinite supply of undead.
We can safely cross out Hollows, Skeletons, Demons (sapient and unethical to eat), and most armor golems (animated by magic). This leaves us with the non-sapient chaos demons like the Chaos Bugs and Sunlight Maggots, self-reproducing constructs like the Treant Gardeners, and wildlife like the basilisks and giant cats.
The list of edible creatures for DS1 is actually pretty small:
Basilisk
Tree Lizards
Mushroom people
Man-Eater Clams
Rats
Giant Leeches
Tunneling Worms
Slimes
Lesser Drakes
Lesser Moonlight Butterfly
Although, as evidenced by the Aldrich Faithful in DS3, consuming the flesh of living things can be both physically and spiritually unsafe. Especially when it comes to things afflicted by the undead curse. So we can safely cross off Rats, Leeches, Basilisk, Rockworms, and Man-Eater Clams, all of whom are necrovores who can transmit the undead curse.
kill the shift manager in your brain
you are not wasting time you are vibing. you are not being unproductive you are literally chilling. make a grill cheese with cheddar cheese and slather a piece of the bread with some honey and maybe you'll relax
Innes Keeper's Formula For Fantastic Grilled Cheeses (for nearly no extra spoons!)
Are you hungry? Do you have a hankering for grilled cheese sandwiches like, way more than a normal person maybe? Great news! I am about to give you the secret knowledge I stole, like Prometheus himself, from the Akashic Records—to bring back to Prudencia! And I’m even doing it without a ten hour long lecture about how the Akashic Records makes me think of idfk, 9/11, and how that relates to sandwiches.
I will, however, briefly say this: You gotta trust me when I say cooking grilled cheeses via this formula WILL grant you Bloodborne Insight. There is no fucking reason that making a grilled cheese this fucking delicious should be this fucking easy. I feel like I’m cheating God every time I do it because it takes (nearly) no extra spoons. And here’s where I show you why.
Scientifically Proven Perfect Extremely Easy Grilled Cheese
INGREDIENTS — SEASONINGS -butter, i usually use 2 or 3 tablespoons per sandwich -garlic cloves, I use 3 usually -a source of heat, like red pepper flakes, or szechuan peppers -a source of spice OR a source of sweetness, such as dijon mustard or honey. slather that motherfucker on a slice of your bread. -a source of herbiness, such as oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, etc in any combination that goes well together or on its own. if someone tries to tell you that you need it fresh, they’re fucking lying, the 2$ crushed powdered sage is fucking great. experiment with other spices such as ground turmeric if you're spicy
INGREDIENTS - THE METAPHORICAL MEAT OF THE SANDWICH -two slices of bread per sandwich. this is actually a massive influence on your sandwich taste and texture as a whole. a basic white or wheat will still be fucking delicious because like I said, I stole this from the Akashic Records cookbook section and found it under “fucking perfect grilled cheeses forever”. However, if you CAN—getting bread like brioche, texas toast, brown bread, rye, or sourdough will make a sandwich already being elevated super easily to “pay 23 dollars at a fancy restaurant” level of elevation.
-one to three types of cheese per sandwich. you can get away with one type but really try for two or three if you can swing it. this is also one of those massive influences over the sandwich—listen, i know, that’s obvious, but stay with me—what matters isn’t the SPECIES of cheese, it’s the TYPE of cheese. getting the deli at your local Safeway or Walmart or whatever and asking for the cheese they gotta cut (or just in general the fancier, better-quality cheeses) is literally the only major requirement that I ask of you. If you are on SNAP/EBT programs, me too, and I promise you: Please do this. Please trust me when I say do not get the cheap Kraft-type cheese because it’s less money. I know it’s a bit extra but it’s only a bit to get like 1/4 or 1/3lb and you have no idea how much I’m actually getting a little emotional about this, because the “rice with butter and beans or top ramen every single day” life is soulsucking and sickening and it is genuinely one of the greatest sources of suffering to human beings I can imagine, I’m serious. Following this formula will genuinely change your life/mental health just a bit because you know that you have one meal that is super delicious, super filling, pretty damn cheap when it comes to how much you get, and super easy to make on days where the idea of doing more than just 15 minutes MAX is gonna make you wanna die.
super sorry for that paragraph btw i just really cannot overstate how this is a lifechanger especially when youre poor/low spoons/depressed. delicious food makes me not be as depressed. this is that.
METHOD
Take garlic cloves and crush them either with the meat of your palm or the flat of a knife or literally anything that would crush good. Take bread slices and put a source of spice or sweetness if you are using one. take a pan and put it on the stove on low-medium heat (aka a 2 out of 10).
Place the butter in the pan, as well as the garlic cloves, the source of heat, and the source of herbiness. Congratulations you have now literally done ALL the extra effort that you need to make a grilled cheese like this. That’s it. No extra dishes. No fussing with amounts or chopping or whatever. That’s it.
The butter will melt in the pan and soak up the delicious ingredients that you also put into the pan. Take each slice of bread and place it in the pan to butter it, OR just take one slice, place the cheese on it, and then put the other bread on. It’s really just a matter of extra effort.
When the bread is in the pan, turn it up to medium heat (5 out of 10) and just sorta let it sit for a bit. When you can see the cheese start to get visibly melty—or when you vibecheck it—flip it once and just do the same thing.
When you’ve grilled your cheese on both sides, take it out of the pan and put it on a plate (or just a paper towel to save on dish spoons. btw paper plates and plastic utensils are a fucking godsend if you hate dishes and/or can’t do them very easily/takes a lot of effort.)
That’s literally it. I really hope this helps.
outta my way gayboy im making this sandwich
oh. oh my god. holy fuck. what. how. why. this is delicious. i kinda burned my bread and my cheese didnt melt all the way but it's still the best thing ive ever tasted?????
Zdzisław Beksiński (Polish ,1929 - 2005)
Untitled ,1979
Screaming in the woods is what now
I grew up in a small logging community in Oregon, and it wasn't unusual to hear women screaming in the woods. Several animals can sound like humans, but the most well known are mountain lions
Sounds eerily like a screaming woman, right?
Bobcats and bears also make calls that sound human, although they sound less like screaming and more like someone shouting "help!" which is somehow worse. I couldn't find a good video clip on youtube, but trust me that if you ever hear those calls, they will absolutely make your hair stand on end.
And those are just the animals that can fuck you up if you go looking for them at night. Who knows what else is out there in the dark?
It's like this out there, what can we say? Unless you are 100% sure it's human you don't want to go investigate when it's dark, trust us.
I live in the confluence of the Mojave and Great Basin. We have a ton of rugged mountains with Cougars, Bears, Bobcats, Foxen and Coyote. Every single one of them makes a call that sounds like a human in distress.
New Ea-nāṣir lore just dropped and I don't know how to feel about that. I hate the meme but the guy having thugs coming after him for bad copper sales is perfect.
Wait wait WAIT
As someone who hard agrees with all your tags re: tired of the meem
BUT who is also invested in antiquities
Is it possible for you to drop the new lore
So the building in Ur where the infamous tablet was found (1 “Old Street” Ur Excavations VII) was actually full of similar tablets, all detailing how badly this guy's deals went. All of these tablets were collected and put into storage at the British Museum. Typically this kind of thing gets forgotten about, many of these tablets have been sitting there for a century, untranslated or partially translated.
The Nu Tabletum
This was recently partially translated and it's incredibly fragmentary, but it's a letter from the man himself reassuring a customer in Larsa about a bad shipment (a lot of goods were missing). He is upset that the customer sent thugs to collect (which is located in a different tablet). In turn, he sends his own to the customer's home. They are to make offerings at the temple of Šamaš together to symbolically "smooth things over". They are taking an oath.
He later goes on to blame the customer for the missing ingots. He (Ea-nāṣir) decided to employ a third party to deliver said ingots to the customer (all the way in the next city-state in the Sumerian cultural sphere). It seems like the third party either stole or got into a fight with the customer over the goods.
Ea-nāṣir now has to haul his ass to Larsa to deal with this personally. There's a lot of "Why don't you believe me?" "They don't listen to me!" "Please don't send-" going on in the tablet. But from what I can gather it looks like this peace offering (making an oath at the temple of Šamaš) broke down too. Everyone is blaming each other for the missing copper ingots and now the man himself has to take the three-day journey to sort out this issue. We have a name for one of the thugs: Mr. Shorty (kurûm). He seems to be a bit scary. The man from Dilmun got kicked out of the Merchant's Guild for a reason, he's had this problem before with copper shipments from Elam. Either he's the world's worst judge of character or he's embezzling, and badly. This is his side hustle stage where he's selling everything from used clothing to speculating (badly) on real estate. He may have dabbled in money lending too. He's your classic failed finance bro.
I did not think the story of Ea-Nasir could get any better, and yet here we are
99% of the people trying to recreate the reigensweep and the sans vs reigen poll dont understand what made the original funny in the first place
like. reigen losing the sexyman poll to sans on its own would have been mildly amusing at most. reigen losing the sexyman poll, the only poll he was actually qualified for, by the smallest possible margin after effortlessly sweeping every other poll he was in by a super majority and gaining so much attention doing this that not only did the official mob psycho twitter comment on it but toby fox, who basically never posts, came out of hibernation to write a fucking crossover fanfiction, about twelve hours before the death of englands head of state who had been in power for 70 years was literally the stars aligning to create the funniest possible event in internet history
ROUND FOUR:
1.
GoodTimesWithScar
Technoblade
GOODTIMESWITHSCAR (1)
nominated from Hermitcraft, Last Life, Create Mod Server, Third Life, Double Life, Among Us, The Crafting Dead, MCC
vs
TECHNOBLADE (16)
nominated from DSMP, SMPEarth, Cyberknife, 100 Mcyt VS Natural Disasters, Minecraft Mondays, Sir Billiam, Potato Wars, Hypixel Mayor, Sky Block, TFTSMP, MCC
rewatching the evo series…..
ROUND 2:
2.
Jschlatt
Zedaph
JSCHLATT (32) nominated from DSMP, SCU, SMP Live, Minecraft Mondays, Glatt, Epic SMP, OSMP
vs
ZEDAPH (33) nominated from Hermitcraft, "Scientist", Worm Man, Create series
Zedaph Sweep please—
FINAL ROUND: Sans (Undertale) vs. Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)
Sans
Cecil
Tumblr Sexyrematch info
Local sillies play dress up (this action will have consequences)
Had brainrot so hard my art evolved like a pokemon on this sketch piece
my movie recommendations credibility took a hard hit in the post-goncharov era
Ohhh you wanna subscribe to Zedaph so bad and get him to 300k. He's so funny you'd never regret it.
tumblr tuesday: the greatest mafia movie
There's so much lore. An original soundtrack (masterlist here, thanks to @thisisnotjuli). It all began with a pair of boots. Then, a movie poster by @beelzeebub:
And here's how it's going:
@ms-musers:
@lspy:
@monsterhospital:
@waldwynde:
@fireleaptfromhousetohouse:
@mjulmjul:
@marella-moon:
@holl-horse:
@bricktoygrapher:
@greenscircus:
@theshitpostcalligrapher:
@sweetdollface:
@onion-souls:
@onemagpie:
@gregspectations:
@mimiadraws:
@flurgburgler:
@shrugsinchinese:
@runfreebirdrun:
@when-sanpape-arts:
@marblellous:
@ynngaa:
@vanwizard:
@inthefallofasparrow:
@1percentcharge:
And lastly, before she was Wonderwoman, @reallyndacarter was "Dancer #2." She has kindly revealed this hitherto unreleased photo from the world premier of the film:
Obsessed with Goncharov? Need more? If you want to join in, please be sure to use the tags #goncharov (for posterity) and #unreality (for those who need it). Take care out there!