I'm a biologist, not an artist!

According to Anon, I am rude. This shall now be my name here: Rude. Damn that's a good name. Anyway, hiya! This blog is utter bullshit and stuff. All I do is reblog things and occasionally add useless commentary. Very, very rarely I will actually produce my own content. Let me know if I do a bad so that I can fix it, yeah? Thanks! Sincerely, Rude <3

[eggzbian-deactivated20191126]

orange juice is the superior beverage bc it makes ur tongue feel like u ate a bunch of ants which reminds me of my childhood when I would put ants in my mouth and eat em except this time it tastes good too

[tlirsgender]

Hey op I think you’re probably allergic to citrus?

[eggzbian-deactivated20191126]

is. this not what oj is supposed to make ur tongue feel like

[grimehands-deactivated20200111]

[teaboot]

One time a guy and I were having an argument and he pulled a knife on me, and because I’m a dumbass idiot my response was to take out MY knife and go “what now, genius?” And what happened next was we just stood there for ten straight minutes not moving because niether of us wanted to put the knife down first and basically that’s our entire international situation regarding nuclear weapons

[iameatingrocks]

What happened afterwards?

[teaboot]

My mom showed up

[thebibliosphere]

Oh the absolute bitter and hilarious irony of having a “friend” link you to your own blog over a Facebook chat, telling you, “you could learn a lot from this person, they don’t let their disabilities stop them.”

I don’t think I have the mental capacity to process this. The sheer level of mental gymnastics is beyond me.

[argumate]

but doctor, I am Pagliacci!

[unclegrimsley]

free phone wallpapers please like or reblog if using :^)

[stealthrockdamage-deactivated20]

Gonna be honest I thought these were supposed to be Valentine’s Day cards and now I’d just like to say that handing any one of these to a real person as a Valentine’s Day card is a surefire way to make sure they never speak to you again

[mere-technicality]

@paragonofchaos

[cocainesocialist]

“One day there was an anonymous present sitting on my doorstep—Volume One of Capital by Karl Marx, in a brown paper bag. A joke? Serious? And who had sent it? I never found out. Late that night, naked in bed, I leafed through it. The beginning was impenetrable, I couldn’t understand it, but when I came to the part about the lives of the workers—the coal miners, the child laborers—I could feel myself suddenly breathing more slowly. How angry he was. Page after page. Then I turned back to an earlier section, and I came to a phrase that I’d heard before, a strange, upsetting, sort of ugly phrase: this was the section on “commodity fetishism,” “the fetishism of commodities.” I wanted to understand that weird-sounding phrase, but I could tell that, to understand it, your whole life would probably have to change. His explanation was very elusive. He used the example that people say, “Twenty yards of linen are worth two pounds.” People say that about every thing that it has a certain value. This is worth that. This coat, this sweater, this cup of coffee: each thing worth some quantity of money, or some number of other things—one coat, worth three sweaters, or so much money—as if that coat, suddenly appearing on the earth, contained somewhere inside itself an amount of value, like an inner soul, as if the coat were a fetish, a physical object that contains a living spirit. But what really determines the value of a coat? The coat’s price comes from its history, the history of all the people involved in making it and selling it and all the particular relationships they had. And if we buy the coat, we, too, form relationships with all those people, and yet we hide those relationships from our own awareness by pretending we live in a world where coats have no history but just fall down from heaven with prices marked inside. “I like this coat,” we say, “It’s not expensive,” as if that were a fact about the coat and not the end of a story about all the people who made it and sold it, “I like the pictures in this magazine.”A naked woman leans over a fence. A man buys a magazine and stares at her picture. The destinies of these two are linked. The man has paid the woman to take off her clothes, to lean over the fence. The photograph contains its history—the moment the woman unbuttoned her shirt, how she felt, what the photographer said. The price of the magazine is a code that describes the relationships between all these people—the woman, the man, the publisher, the photographer—who commanded, who obeyed. The cup of coffee contains the history of the peasants who picked the beans, how some of them fainted in the heat of the sun, some were beaten, some were kicked.For two days I could see the fetishism of commodities everywhere around me. It was a strange feeling. Then on the third day I lost it, it was gone, I couldn’t see it anymore.”

—

Wallace Shawn, The Fever

(To understand it, your whole life would probably have to change.)

[postmarxed]

I saw Wallace Shawn at the end of this quote and thought surely it’s a different Wallace Shawn surely it’s not the fucking dinosaur from Toy Story this can’t be the fucking Sicilian from the Princess Bride but it is. It’s the same fucking guy I just read an explanation of commodity fetishism written by Mr. Incredible’s tiny boss at the insurance company

[zvaigzdelasas]

He’s given talks at a Socialist conference too

[exigencelost]

The problem with having lesbian moms is you try to be super cool and cut all your hair off and buy a leather jacket and wear boots all the time and then you go to some event in your neighborhood and all these women three times your age start cooing “oh you look JUST like your mother when she was your age, my gosh what a blast from the past, oh I just love your hair”

[exigencelost]

And let me be very clear, okay: I’ve seen pictures of my mom when she was my age, and she looked cooler than I ever will. My mom had exactly my fashion sense except she was two point five degrees butcher and habitually took over government buildings. My other mom was about six degrees butcher than that, and SHE had a motorcycle. Both of them have been charged with felony arson. I’m the prep member of my family and there’s nothing I can do about it.

[redstitcher]

Please tell me at some point in your life some dick was like “we’re calling your parents over your behavior” only to have a bigger, more badass version of you come strolling in

[exigencelost]

Look obviously that happened many many times, usually with misogynist or ableist teachers. But I have a BETTER story than that, which is that when I was in 3rd grade, I went to this tiny alternative hippy school—it was a regular public school, it was just small and staffed/run by hippie communists—and my 3rd grade teacher was a woman who had been in an organization with my mother, and they had done direct action together more than a few times. We’ll call her D. One day I was sitting in D’s class, eight years old and bored out of my mind, and I scratched my name into the back of my plastic chair with a rock. Was this reasonable behavior? No. Why did I do it? Only the gods can say. I don’t actually remember doing the scratching, I just remember looking at the rock in my hand and my name on the chair and going, “HUH. That’s not good.”  So obviously I got caught, bc I couldn’t reasonably convince anyone that I wasn’t the one who had done it, since it was MY NAME, and as punishment for this act of arbitrary vandalism I was sentenced to recess detention for two weeks. It was October so this included Halloween. Halloween, to be clear, is a high holy day in San Francisco, and I was devastated to miss the informal festivities that would be occurring at recess that day, and I wept and wailed about this at home for some time until my mother decided that this was disproportionate punishment and took it into her own hands to do something about it.   So my mom walks into D’s office on a day when my mother does not have to be at work at a scheduled time, but D has to get her students from the yard in about ten minutes, and my mom sits down and says to her old friend and comrade, “Miranda is really upset about having detention on Halloween.” And D explains to my mother why the detention was issued, what the circumstances were, and my mother nods, and listens, and doesn’t argue, and doesn’t show any sign of getting up from her chair. And just says again “She’s really upset about having detention on Halloween.”  And D looks at my mother, and she looks at the clock in her office, which is telling her that she has to be on the yard in 2 minutes now, and then looks at my mother again, who shows no sign of having anywhere to be, my mother with whom D has organized and successfully executed multiple sit-ins and takeovers of government & corporate offices, and D says, “Okay, she doesn’t have to have detention on Halloween.”

[nazyalenskyy-archive]

Aziraphale going from “b-bad Angels!!” to “Oh, fuck.” in a matter of minutes is A+ character development.

[nuttersincorporated]

Also, where else could you have a character go from not wanting to kill anyone to trying to kill a child they’ve never met and have it be positive character development?

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

What hints and clues would you give your players that they're trapped in a Lich's phylactery?

So like the interior of the phylactery is a sort of demiplane where the PCs don’t realize they are trapped?I like this!

Well, as with most clues, you want to drop at least three hints because they will likely only discover one or two. 

Lax Laws of Physics:

I would definitely run it like a sort of fairy tale or dream, with strange things happening inexplicably. Perhaps the environment itself doesn’t want those trapped inside to reach a certain building that houses the lich’s soul, so NPCs and the environment keep moving around to prevent the PCs’ travel. The more desperate the PCs are to reach a certain destination, the more aggressive the environment becomes.

Souls are Being Drained:

Perhaps the realm is shrouded in eternal night and the PCs find it impossible to sleep. Undead harry them at every turn and resting only recovers half their HP or spell slots, or even causes exhaustion. They get more and more tired as the phylactery’s power drains away at their souls and they attempt to uncover what’s taxing their HP or giving them exhaustion.

The Lich Watches Them:

The final straw should be seeing visions of the lich out of the corner of their eye as it watches them progress. They might only catch a glimpse of a shadowy figure at first, but then it becomes obvious that the lich (hopefully one they’ve met before) is the one doing this all to them.

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

Retiring Adventurers

When your character decides it’s time for their adventure to end, they should think about retiring. While most PCs retire their characters after completing a campaign, a character can retire a bit early if the player has become too tired of playing them.

This is a much better option than killing them off! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that question on the D&D 5e Facebook group. “How should I kill off my character?” “My DM won’t let me kill my character, what do I do?” “I want to change characters but I’m stuck as this one!”

The answer is letting your character retire. There are plenty of reasons you can come up with to write off a PC. Try one of the following or come up with one of your own.

Reasons to Stop Adventuring

Family Needs: A character’s family might take precedence from adventuring. Perhaps a loved one falls ill and you need to leave the main quest to seek out a cure on your own. Maybe your family has had children that need to be raised, and now you must leave after your brief escapade into adventuring.

Fear: Perhaps an adventurer decides that a campaign is beyond their means and is too afraid to proceed. A simple farmer that decided to adventure because they were good at killing dire rats might back down when they are told they have to slay a dragon. It’s perfectly acceptable for a hero to decide that an adventure is too dangerous and leave their party.

Wealth Satiation: An adventurer’s life is one of wealth. A pouch of gold pieces are enough for a peasant to live comfortably for a month. When an adventurer comes across a magic item and sells it for a cool 50K gp, it stands to reason that they no longer need to worry about a retirement plan. For some, this is plenty of reason to stop putting themselves in danger by delving in dungeons.

Story Satiation: Your character may have finished its story arc in the campaign. After this, they may find less reason to travel with the party and more reason to leave them. Your character’s motivations and traits have changed such that you no longer need to adventure.

Giving Up: After a great defeat where much is lost, an adventurer might be irreparably broken. They might not believe they have anything left to fight for, or any hope of success. With nothing left to drive them, they could leave the adventure to hide from whatever calamity is threatening the world.

Injury: There are some injuries that cannot be healed normally. Your adventurer could lose a limb, or become blinded or deafened, or suffer from a curse that cannot be healed. While many heroes overcome such injuries to accomplish great things, it could still be a reason for an adventurer to leave the party. Perhaps they are seeking a cure or a fix outside of the main quest, or perhaps it has broken their spirit to throw themselves at danger and they wish to retire to safety.

Love: Perhaps a hero meets the love of their life while out and abroad during an adventure. Rather than leaving them to face certain danger, they may opt to stay behind and be with them. Love is a great motivator. It can move people to face the odds, but it can also inspire them to leave their quest.

Retired Heroes

Once an adventurer retires, they become an NPC in the world. When you retire your character, you can work with your DM to figure out what happens to your former player-character once they leave the party and go about their own way. Some of these are especially awesome to use for campaigns that follow a previous one in the same setting.

Civilians: A humble hero might become a simple merchant, farmer, barkeep or the like. This NPC might just be someone that the PCs can check in on, buy things from, or just run into on return trips to town.

Plot Devices: A retired hero doesn’t always have to be great, but perhaps they have a new role in the story that they have yet to play. An old adventurer can have plenty of connections that let them weave into a new storyline. Maybe they have a piece of information or lore that the other players need later in the same story in a new campaign’s arc.

Leaders: An adventurer may become a leader within a society, or may have started their own society to lead. Perhaps the once-paladin is now a leader of the city guard. Maybe a wizard is now a wizened headmaster of a magic school. A cleric could build a new temple to their deity and begin gathering followers. Imagine being a low-level character in a new campaign and meeting your previous character, now high-level and in a seat of power!

Legends: An adventurer from a previous campaign could have become a hero of legend that disappeared or faded into myth. Some are unsure if they ever existed. But their stories remain and they are talked about with a sort of reverence. Locations or items could have been named after them, and the new or surviving PCs can discover these little easter eggs.

Hereditary Items

A really cool idea for characters that had a signature item: Hereditary Items. Not necessarily literally passed down through family, but a character could encounter a magic item or weapon that belonged to a hero PC from a previous campaign in the same setting. After their time with that hero, the item has grown and evolved, becoming greater, and now a new aspiring hero has picked it up. In time, it will become their own as well.

Don’t do this too often as it can get boring to keep finding the same items over and over, but it can be nice to find one or two on an adventure. Perhaps it is a new item that was not originally magical, but gained magic powers over the course of the hero’s adventures. Maybe the same magic that gives bards power through stories also empowers weapons through being a part of a hero’s story.

Here are some powers that an existing item could have gained:

Imparts a weaker version of a class ability the old wielder had (like sneak attack, rage, an invocation, etc)

Grants a feat that the old wielder used to have.

A weapon deals additional damage of an elemental type

A weapon gains a greater bonus to attacks/damage (+1 becomes +2, etc)

A set of armor has a greater bonus to AC (+1 becomes +2, etc)

The item can now once per day cast a spell the old wielder could cast.

Lets the attuned creature speak and understand a language the previous wielder could

An existing feature of the item is strengthened

An ability of the item with limited uses gains more of them, or gains additional charges, or lasts longer.

The item is sentient and contains the soul of the previous owner.

Or make up your own! It’s a great way to tie one campaign to the next and make heroes into legends!

[lpbestiary]

The Hippocerf is a chimeric creature from medieval mythology that combines the features of a horse and a deer. Said to have dwelled in numerous parts of Europe, they are said to possess coats of varying lengths depending on the region.

There is speculation that stories of the Hippocerf could actually relate to surviving Megaloceros, a species of large elk that lived in Ireland, but are thought to have become extinct over 10,000 years ago.

Image search.

Monster master list.

Suggest a spook.

[botanyshitposts]

wound up on the USDA agricultural research service website for info on a plant and got a popup asking if i’d like to sign up for email updates. i am not someone who usually does this, but i was most definitely not expecting to be offered an email service from the USDA this evening and decided why the fuck not. after typing in my email, i was taken to another page with a dropdown menu, and in short this is how i discovered that not only does the USDA agricultural research service offer email updates, but you can sign up for text message updates too, and goddamn if i’m not gonna blindly jump on that strange and unexpected opportunity 

[botanyshitposts]

i want to update this saying that i’ve been receiving USDA text alerts for under 24 hours and the only two ive gotten so far are 1. a text reminding me to ‘certify my acres by july 15th’ and 2. one asking if i’d like to ‘participate in or extend my CRP contract’. i have no idea what either of these things mean but both times they came through as a push notification and for a solid 20 seconds instilled the fear of god into me as i 100% believed i had not one but two deadlines fast approaching for my nonexistent acreage 

[justanotherass]

these stories and these characters mean so much to me

[advanced-procrastination]

One of my students wrote a very eloquent and well-researched paper for her english class about the unfair advantages and lack of accountability given to student athletes, and she specifically called out how much worse it is with football and basketball, and bruh. People are getting heated over this shit. She spoke nothing but the truth, and the football and basketball teams are PISSED — coaching staff included. Like she legit created a little controversy at our school by calling out the fact that athletics are prioritized over academics. WITH SOURCES.

And what’s funny is she played it smart — not only by giving herself some plausible deniability by writing it about high schools and colleges in general rather than just about our school, but also by calling out the worst sports specifically. She could have left it at ALL student athletes, but by explicitly stating that football and basketball are the worst perpetrators, she won all the other athletes to her side — golf, tennis, swimming, track. Instead of having all student athletes at her throat, she turned everyone against the basketball and football teams.

I’m so proud of her. Nobody listens to teachers when we bring up that half the football team is failing all their classes, but let a fellow student bring it up and everyone’s ready to riot.

[v-is-a-cyberpunk]

A version for tumblr that can be read without opening a new tab, since plenty of people would scroll past this story otherwise.

[fuckyeah-nerdery]

The bravest woman on Earth.

[unofficiallyjuni-deactivated201]

I love her. Forever reblog.

[theatsymbol-deactivated20210220]

I have the utmost respect for this woman. 

[the-dream-i-had]

please reblog. reblog the way you would reblog a picture of a hot singer, a pretty girl, a tasty meal or some nice stationary. Because this will not make your blog ‘less aesthetic’ or anything. This is important, far more important than anything I’ve mentioned before.

[motherbychoice]

Nevertheless, she persisted.

Persist.

[parentheticalaside]

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

[blacklaceandcombatboots-deactiv]

who wrote this, expose him

[ofools]

my breasts are nicely separated. Completely divided, every year they move apart by half an inch.

[tobjoernebaer]

My breasts are nicely separated though they still fight for custody of the children.

[tyradicalsaurusreg-deactivated2]

I,,a woman,,,am WiDeR LOweR dOwN

[lesbian-lizards]

That was difficult to read.

[didi-is-spiffy-deactivated20190]

So ugly

[beforeliteracytherewasdeez]

My name is Ebony D'arkness Dementia Raven Way, and my breasts are nicely separated

[sunnysrecovery]

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT AND HOW ON EARTH DID IT GET PUBLISHED

[bonitabreezy]

You can always tell when it’s a man writing a description because they focus oddly on the breasts. There will always be something about breasts and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read historical or fantasy fiction and they talk about “her breasts hanging freely under her tunic” or what the fuck ever and it’s like…women don’t do that? We don’t describe ourselves by saying “I have blonde hair and blue eyes and my breasts hang freely under my tunic”. I kind of feel like we should counter by awkwardly mentioning all male character’s balls in their description. It’s kind of in the same vein.

[imoldbutimstillintothat]

“I have auburn hair and hazel eyes and my copious nicely separated balls hangs freely under my breeches”

[lyriumandbiotics]

G E T W I D E R L O W E R D O W N

[ventrue-rosary]

“To get back to my body”

[starlitsylveon]

[synonym-for-life]

This is the first time I saw this post with art and I am in tears.

[l0vegl0wsinthedark]

Reblogging again because IT HAS BEEN ILLUSTRATED NOW 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[flagbearer-or-scouts]

Im actually laughing so hard omg

[jumpingjacktrash]

end harpy shaming 2k18

[mutanthissi-deactivated20190812]

yea my female characters form no meaningful relationships with one another or develop holistically but here’s a shot of them all at once so you know EXACTLY how many female characters im about to disrespect in this movie

[thisistemporaryiguess]

#let the queen conquer gifset bait

[elizastrange]

I decided to add something.

[yeetmeintothenoumena-deactivate]

That’s the thing. You see this scene, and you can tell, it’s a diversity grab. The intention in showing it was “look at all the female characters we have! look at how we respect and love them!” instead of say, “look at these characters that fit together and are badass, and oh, yeah, they happen to be female” If you saw a gif of Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk, and Hawkeye, it wouldn’t be because they’re the guys, it’d be because they’re all Avengers. Likewise, when we have Nebula, Mantis and Gamora together, or Okoye with Shuri and Nakia (is Nakia here?), or Pepper, Natasha, Maria Hill - those characters have a shared background and connection. You understand why they’re shown together. But this, this is pandering. This is disrespectful. You can’t just throw Peter Quill, Rhodey, Ant-Man, and Bucky together. Everyone would be like “what? why?” But we’re expected to not only understand, but support, and champion this??

[wilwheaton]

Say it louder.