Jesus christ, I wish to just one day be this pinnacle of wit, horniness, and sacrilege.

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@vorpalgrayfox
Jesus christ, I wish to just one day be this pinnacle of wit, horniness, and sacrilege.
Back in 1997 there was a goth lesbian Muppet
@lesserknownwaifus
Reminds me of this from civilization 4
What exactly does this mean
it requires fascism what's not clicking here
she was initially formed out of pottery clay but came to life because it was her true hearts wish to be friends with everybody in the world and the princess of the faeries helped her
truth is, underneath it all, a lot of our beliefs aren't rational, and they're formed young. all those stories of magical protagonists. secret worlds if you just had the key. creatures just out of view. all that shit we imagined doesn't go away because we got older. in a lot of ways it gets bigger, more elaborately built on.
i think we're hiding the emotionally devastating core of the walrus vs fairy debate under jokes.
you see a fairy on your doorstep? and you think finally.
It saddens me that Helen of SPARTA is mostly known as Helen of TROY. As if she wasn't born, raised, and most likely, died in Sparta. Yes, she was of TROY for a while...But she was able to go back home to where she WANTED TO BE.
I hope you know you just punched me in the fucking face
Posted for the beauty and eloquence of this comment:
this is the closest you can get to experiencing a jumpscare on social media
Bacchino Malato (Caravaggio, 1593)
My favourite thing about this post is that someone saw those photos of that cat and went “ah yes, I know exactly which 15th century Baroque painting this reminds me of”
Big snazz
Woman at the zoo: Why do they look so sad? 😔
Sign literally 10 feet away:
I'll never forget being at the Oregon Zoo and hearing people talk about how sad one of the chimpanzees looked. He was sitting on a log, his back to one of the viewing areas, hunched over. And they were saying "oh, he looks depressed, he must hate it here."
But then when you walked around to the other side, you'd see that he was simply busy beating his dick like it owed him money.
this is problematic of me (joke) but i really enjoy the splashing of french into english speech or writing. just adds a pizzazz
*adds a certain je ne sais quoi
see the problem is that despite around 8 years of french schooling the french language has utterly escaped my brain so even the most obvious set up i had created for myself by accident was missed by me. such is life.
*c'est la vie
god damn it
me: “yeah I dated a guy in high school who came out as gay. it was before i knew i was a boy so needless to say it didn’t work out”
coworker: “damn dude was preordering”
other things this coworker (who is a cis guy) has done/said:
—got confused about why I’d never been a boy scout because he forgot i was trans
—told me he was gonna get top surgery scar tattoos to match me after i get mine
—laughs at all my trans jokes, even if they’re supremely unfunny
—calls me big dog (and him little dog) even though he is about as tall as two of me
— “I can’t believe she would say that transphobic thing to you. In June? Pride month?”
Once I said "My gender is whatever's funniest at the time" and my coworker stops dead in his tracks, turns slowly and says "So are your pronouns honk/honk?" killing me instantly