friends. old and new

previously thesecretgameofsins vrem | freelance writer | she/her | 20↑ | EN/ID/日本語学習 | ffxiv | arknights | PGR | lovebrush/hlr | wuwa | otome

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually

[sage-nebula]

[libraford]

We were talking about atla the other day and someone mentioned a fanfic they read and one of my friends said that they dont approve of fanfic of atla because theyre children.

And i was like "not all fanfic is sexual."

"Yeah, suuuuuure."

And its like.... fanific is not my preferred way to interact with media but even I know that:

1. not all fanfic is about sex.

2. Underage persons write fanfiction and they should be allowed to interact in Fandom this way.

3. Even if it was all sexual, they are not real people. They are fictional.

Can't believe im saying this in 2026 but literally if it makes you uncomfortable, dont read that.

[paladingineer]

Wait, do people really assume all fanfiction is porn? Not even MOST fanfiction is porn! This is something you can easily demonstrate with a quick AO3 search!

[exhuastedpigeon]

The first rule of fandom is have fun. The second rule of fandom is find an enabler and become an enabler. Yes you should write that fic. What if it was even hornier? What if it was angstier? What if you wrote it just for me?

[nongunktional]

i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy

[oneefin]

number theory* diagram

[michaelrotonal]

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

[somethingmissingthiswaycomes]

[feastofsnakes]

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

[partywithponies]

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

[urlocalpyshcopan]

as a black gay person real like where y'all be finding this stuff pass the name

[brainsforbabyjesus]

for real though, those DO NOT WATCH OR YOU'LL CORRUPT YOUR CHILDREN lists put out by conservative christian family groups is where I find all the stellar tv shows. Like, shit I didn't know half of those existed, thanks for finding them for me, gonna go watch 30 hours of gay tv now!

[infamousbrad]

I think I know how this works.

For personal context, before I went to the '98 Burning Man festival, one of the things I'd read from a couple different journalists was that "everybody" runs around naked. Which, fine by me, I'd already spent a lot of time in clothing-optional spaces, I'm not fanatic about it but it's nice.

So I got there early and set up a public shade structure on one of Black Rock City's main roads and spent most of each afternoon just watching the crowds go by. I don't remember seeing more than one actually naked person the whole week. I think a topless woman passed by my intersection maybe every half an hour, sometimes once an hour. So why in the hell were people, normally pretty smart and observant writers, coming away with the impression that everybody was naked?

Then I remembered an unrelated passage from Joel Garreau's great book about the history of the outer-ring suburbs, Edge City. Mall developers told him flat-out that they tried to keep the crowds in their malls less than 5% black. Not because they themselves were racist, but because they had determined, experimentally, that if more than 5% of the people in the mall are black, the median white shopper will wrongly describe the mall as at least half black, as mostly black. And not a few of them would describe it, at 6% black, as a mall where "only black people go." Why?

Because, emotionally, they were still upset over the last one when the next one came into view.

Same as the journalists describing Black Rock City as all naked. Same as the right-wing religious culture warriors describing television as entirely mixed-race and gender non-conforming. Not because it's even vaguely true, we know that, but because they haven't gotten over their discomfort over the last one by the time the next one comes along. The anger, not the stimulus, is the part that's continuous, so their mind lies to them that it's "all" the thing they can't get over.

[kagedtiger]

Similar effect for the presence/proportion of women in things, by the way: https://health.howstuffworks.com/mental-health/human-nature/perception/how-17-equals-496-the-amazing-multiplying-women.htm

[nyancrimew]

im so hungry i could eat a meal

[grudgez]

[tamamita]

The settler state arguably got the worst white demons in the world

[dreadhordearcanist]

This post never goes out of style

[partypuppy-nastja]

Meanwhile, a little while back my friend Alaa was talking about "the best Italian restaurant in Gaza!", how everyone knew it; it was run by these two brothers who had migrated from Italy, what an experience it was, how on social media everyone was begging them for their recipes, that they had the best pasta sauces ever, that she was always recommending it and wanted everyone to be able to try it...

...and then finished with "but then of course the occupation bombed the restaurant with the entire family inside and they were all killed".

She's now working on a site dedicated to showing all the important little local places in Gaza that no longer exist—partly so that her own children can know them, and partly so they cannot be completely erased by the occupiers.

She's also working on this project, again to preserve the culture and history that the occupation is trying to wipe out, taking up the lead on this after her teacher Dr. Refaat Alareer (now most-known to English-speakers for his "If I must die" poem), who had started the project, was killed by the occupiers.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

"you don't know what you have until you lose it" works for things that suck too btw. sometimes you need to experience life without something for a while to realise oh damn that was some bullshit

[identitty-dickruption]

my safe clothing items that I wear day in day out for years and years should never break or rip or wear down. the power of friendship should stop that kind of thing

[mapleejay]

does anyone else think about how brave all their friends are and get really emotional about it

[mapleejay]

I'm glad everyone is alive rn

[zeitghost]

mastering ancient breathing techniques in the mountains of china to control my heart rate finely enough to jam out a sick tune on the hospital’s heart monitor

[rainey-dayes]

the nurses stare horrified as my heart monitor plays ASGORE by Toby Fox

[bevsi]

I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with relating to characters, “they’re literally me” etc but if that’s the only way you engage with stories you’re kinda missing the whole point of Characters being vehicles through which we can see perspectives outside of our own. and also you’re going to get upset when the Character acts in a way that is not Personally Relatable to You

[bevsi]

doubly for shipping. at risk if biting the hand that feeds me, a well written fictional relationship should ideally be more than a didactic template for how to have a nice relationship

[goldcrescent]

I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀

[goldcrescent]

if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old

[charl0ttan]

long distance friends pets feel like celebrities because you can only be parasocial with them

[cat-the-comet]

devastating: artist who has not practiced fundamentals enough to execute high concept idea eats shit