Umm

Vita-She/her-18 I'm just really confused all the time

[pukicho]

Hello, I come from the forests, ask me anything 

[mycomortis]

how are the trees

[pukicho]

I dont know who you are or what that is. AMA closed

[blakhawk15-deactivated20221118]

[bo0zey]

 i tried to be funny and it backfired miserably

[bo0zey]

it’s 2014 it’s time we moved on as a nation and stop reblogging this

[bo0zey]

every person who reblogs this in 2015 is gonna get their ass kicked by yours truly

[mothmanliveshere]

hey op good news

[tenderfruit]

never forget Sarah Paulson quitting her job after 20 minutes because she couldn’t spell parmesan

[make--it--gayer]

conservatives:

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

[taragrimface]

(from a 2015 interview)

i hope she’s comfortable

[hella-gay-trash]

Please don’t forget the best one so far^^^

[eiruriofidkewoeeifjjdis374738-d]

another example of Koko’s humour by Jane Goodall:

[autumngracy]

Nothing pleases me more than to learn the fact that apes also will look at a thing and go “it me”

[chimericaloutlier]

#hardsame

[etica]

🌽: why did the tomato blush 🍅: why 🌽: because he saw the salad dressing 🍅: lol girl with septum piercing: honestly it didn’t even hurt

[pakistaniheaux]

heart: randomly starts beating faster me: what is it what do you see

[musicsoundsbetterblog]

Visit Original Link

[amaskdescribingamask-deactivate]

[xxwolfmeetstheskyxx]

Here's a tip

Carry a fork with you. If someone tries to rob you, pull the fork out of your pocket and say “thank you, Lord for this meal I’m about to have” and charge at them with the fork

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

it is so funny how life is just whatever. it’s hilarious. life is so regimented all the way through high school and then after that you just do literally whatever it’s all just whatever. you’re like “should i do this?” and everyone you know is like “just do whatever” absolutely incredible. that can’t be real

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[jncoes]

*checks my email at the club*

[vanillagloss]

[odinsblog]

[badjokesbyjeff]

Three friends bragged about who has more sex….

Keep reading

[badjokesbyjeff]

[first day as a car salesman]

Keep reading

[badjokesbyjeff]

I bought a thesaurus but when I got home I discovered that all the pages were blank.

Keep reading