Sophia @waffledragon - Tumblr Blog

amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

straighthater

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

timelordpillbug

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

hikingnerd

When Russia sends you nudes

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon

#what the fuck happened here

her-eyes-dared-me-with-danger

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

kyloschuyler

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

tree-of-blue-squirrel

reblog it, because Russia can´t

maradaisykat

Thanks Obama

thatcatpersondotjpeg

My assigned FBI agent hearing me play the same song for the 500th time in a row

pandaaamonium14

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

skrillcholas-cage

oh my god these are great

princemetalthunder

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

siyun5-deactivated20170606

seabass2819

adrenaline

throwbackblr

minuty

andwhatexcellentboiledpotatoes

Okay of course I’m happy that Malala got accepted to Oxford, but I really want to know more! What did she write for her personal essay- “Just google me bitches”? Did she have to do an interview and if so did she just plonk her nobel peace prize down on the table? Did her student counselor advise her to apply to other crappier places just in case she wasn’t accepted? Was there anyone who actually turned down freaking Malala Yousafzai, I need to know!!

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

#she just walked in and was like ‘i go here now’ #and they were like ‘thank you’

slimetony

Grounded from tumblr for a month because my step dad Brett got hit with a ninja star while i was practicing but he says i did it on purpose which is not true

slimetony

Mom kicked Brett out of the house because he spent our rent money on pay per view MMA fights so im technically ungrounded from tumblr

kickaz

I…I can’t tell if this is true or false

slimetony

It is not true i did not hit him he was lying

kelsiline

heartsaidnoibat

Ok but can we talk about how emo, as a genre, defied gender roles in a big way? Like, everything about the culture, from the guys wearing makeup and womens’ skinny jeans, to the way they got unabashedly emotional in spite of the “men aren’t supposed to cry” narrative they’d obviously been socialized with, was just this complete “fuck you” to the idea that there’s a certain way to be a “man”.

And a lot of their detractors called them “girly” or “gay”. And they didn’t give a fuck! Fall Out Boy has a whole song entitled “Gay Is Not A Synonym for Shitty”, which referenced a famous Pete Wentz quote, where he basically said that if you thought his band sucked, to just say it sucked, and not be a “homophobic asshole” about it.

And, then, geez, My Chemical Romance took it a step further, and Gerard Way outright kissed one of his bandmates at concerts purely to infuriate homophobes who were at his shows.

A lot of these bands were openly for LGBT rights, for womens’ rights. I remember one instance where some band MCR was touring with asked women to flash their tits in exchange for backstage passes. And Gerard was so horrified by this, and told his female fans to “spit in the faces” of misogynists in the rock scene.

Like, god, these bands were so progressive. And they still are. Right after the Pulse tragedy, Brendon Urie literally danced around in a pride flag and told his queer fans what they meant to him. Pete Wentz said that “Uma Thurman” was meant to show his female fans that they could be “badass”, too. And Gerard pretty much admitted in an interview to somewhat identifying with the label “nonbinary”.

That’s the most lasting impact that emo is going to have. Showing fans of all genders that there’s nothing wrong with being whoever the fuck you are, that there’s no specific way to be a man or woman. And, god, I just fucking love that.

profeminist

Gifset source

“So every day during my set, when I’m playing my own shows, I talk about people that are transgender. I talk about it a lot because everyday basically I say: …”

- Gerard Way, Soundwave, Melbourne, 2015

Source

kyraneko

I feel like disco and emo should team up and that should be the next big music thing, sort of a defiant apocalyptic dance party, because disco did this sort of thing too, the rejection of straight white male heteronormativity, and that was basically why it was killed, so, like, emo plus defiant zombie disco would be the perfect thing to play in the Mango Menace era.

shakespork

I love meta posts like these bc now i understand why my diehard defiant teenage ass was in love with these bands and this culture

knightcore

me: *neglects my duo lingo app*

The Duolingo Owl:

kirbyshay11

It’s nice to be told you’re beautiful or hot or whatever, but I’d love to hear some say that I make things easier, that they’re happy I exist, they don’t know what they’d do with out me, I’m strong, that they hope we never lose each other, that they’re proud of me, that I have something to offer. Compliments don’t always have to be about appearance.