11th Circle Apartments-Resident Directory
1101-Contains people damned forever to watch theatre behind people wearing hats
1102- Contains the kid, now grown, who is still peeing in public pools
1103-Contains people who only shoplift part of a packaged item
1104-Contains people condemned to sit in a Jiffy Lube waiting room while a woman talks about you vicariously through her baby, unaware that she too, is in Hell.
1105-Contains people who leave at intermission and then brag about for 15 years like they did something
1106-Contains him, for just being the worst
1107-Contains me, for hating him so much
1108-Contains tourists who hate to travel, condemned to wander the gates only eating stale Auntie Anne's pretzels and missing all connecting flights.
1109-Contains those who reject knowledge, damned to possess only the knowledge of their ignorance
1110-Contains those who cast stones out and never look inward
1111-Contains whoever took the good Sobe Lifewater from us. His gallbladder is devoured daily by the lizard from the bottle.
1112-Contains Lucy Caulkins, damned to sight read Chinese pill bottles for eternity
1113-Contains the person who zip-tied plastic snakes to a wreath and sold it for $50 at Joanne Fabrics.
1114-Contains people with big offices and incomprehensible job titles
1115-Contains people who enter businesses five minutes before close and don’t even apologize
1116-Contains people with the audacity to write pithy little poems about condemning people to Hell….