Waiting for Strangers

[warriorofthewomb]

[perkylizzy-blog]

That awkward moment when your first ultrasound is to look at all your ovarian cysts instead of at your baby, like you thought it would be.

[thewanderingovary]

Logs on to Facebook… 

Sees the first post is a pregnancy announcement…. 

[infertilitycoping]

[autogalatea]

<YOU LOOK THIN> a. leylâ

[infertilitycoping]

[infertilitycoping]

[desireforart-deactivated2015081]

[dearoldschooldiary]

Ask Polly: Why Do Women Obsess About Babies and Fertility?

Women struggling to conceive go through hell.

This, this, a hundred times this. The closest thing I’ve ever read to describing how infertility feels for me. (Especially the second half of the piece.) Really worth a read.

[pcossucks-deactivated20190906]

[waitingforstrangers]

Mixed feelings

We’re starting our 4th round of Clomid this cycle, after a long break.  I’m on CD 3 now so I was starting to set all my phone alarms for meds and I got excited about the possibility of conceiving. 

Then I saw on Facebook that my husband’s ex-girlfriend is expecting her 2nd child.  He’s been mine for 10 years and I still wonder if he would have been happier or better off with some other girl. 

Every pain in his life is caused by me. I didn’t finish college. I don’t have a great job. My Dad lives with us. My Grandmother lives with us. My brother lives with us, sometimes. My debit card is the one that got hacked and caused some money troubles. I’m the one who keeps him up at night with my tears. My body won’t ovulate. 

I’m the worst thing that ever happened to that poor man. 

[waitinguntiltomorrow]

I can’t wait until Christmas with my own kids. I look forward to being woken up by my babies jumping on our bed because Santa came and left them presents. I want to see their faces light up with joy and their giggles fill the air. I really can’t wait until Christmas feels like Christmas again.

[weretrying]

Potential Names for My Infertility Memoir...

Literally Bleeding from the Ovaries

Getting Pregnant in a Petri Dish

Is the Stork Lost?

TTC. IUI. IVF. FML.

Screw You Too, Clomid

The Art of Timed Intercourse

Crying Myself to Sleep and Other Concerns

That’s Ok, I Didn’t Like Money Anyway

I Don’t Need Therapy; YOU Need Therapy

When the Baby in the Baby Carriage Never Comes

Hormones Be Crazy

[canadad-deactivated20171111]

u know youre fucked when u start checking their sign in horoscope posts

[waitingforstrangers]

I used to do this with crushes, now I do it with my imaginary pregnancies.

[entitledrichpeople]

Medicaid/Medicare often not fully covering or covering at all, fertility care, IVF, egg and sperm banking, removal or long term birth control in order to become pregnant, etc. is classist and ableist.

It’s also really tied to eugenics notions of trying to stop “undesirable” poor people from having kids.

[waitingforstrangers]

I went to a free clinic when I was 17, broke, and basically homeless for birth control. The half-assed exam they have me should have caught that I had PCOS, it didn’t. They then gave me the depo shot and it wrecked my body, amplified my PCOS, gained 60 lbs that year.

There is a part of me that says that free clinic is somehow encouraged to sterilize the poor.  

I’m almost 27 now and I make good money, but I may never have children. 

[lezachusetts-blog]

Forever torturing myself by thinking of baby names

[growingskye]

*mentally rehearses pregnancy announcement even though I’m far from being pregnant*