Idk What I’m Doing

I’m doing this instead of talking to my walls

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So I’m starting this, I don’t know, as like an experiment I guess. I haven’t really used Tumblr like this before, but I thought why not. Mostly I’ve somehow convinced all of my friends to watch the show that I like and that I write fanfiction for and yet I can’t really talk about my internal workings like that with them, so I thought why not send it into the void and see if it calls back.

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I think this really sums up finals because why am I procrastinating by taking artsy photos of my absolutely filthy dorm room.

Anyways here’s my favorite :D

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This is going to be a bit more decisive of me (not that the things I say aren’t already decisive), but this is something that I feel important to talk about.

I keep seeing people compare what happened with Catglass with what happened with Byler, and I want to say this in the politest way that I can but that’s wrong. For a couple reasons, this comparison really irks me.

One, it is very important to me that people do not compare a wlw ship in representation to a mlm ship because mlm stories do get more representation. There’s an underlying misogyny that wlw ships face and is an important conversation as to why there’s a lack of representation that simply does not exist with mlm media. They are simply treated differently both in media and in fandom space. Sapphic ships are often treated as less than even in fandom, so bringing up Byler just feels in poor taste.

I understand why people are doing this because there’s a through line of bad writing and a complete disregard for character that happened in both Stranger Things and XO Kitty.

But that brings me to the second thing. Byler was subtext and Catglass was text. Byler wasn’t quite outwardly discussed very much by characters and Will’s sexuality wasn’t mentioned until the end. Catglass had a center storyline from season one and Kitty’s sexuality was a really big storyline until it wasn’t. XO Kitty took a queer story and stripped it of its queerness at the very end. Byler just never addressed the queerness directly. And while it sucks for that to happen what happened to Byler is not comparable to what happened with Catglass.

Having to compare a wlw ship to how you felt about a mlm ship really proves the lack of understanding that’s happening within all aspects of queer media. Queer media is not a monolith and there’s a lot of nuance that isn’t talked about enough.

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FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

In regards to season 3 of XO Kitty

People are allowed to mourn the way Kitty and Yuri’s relationship was handled and if you are a person who does not want to see that you simply don’t have to engage. We are losing the art of “don’t like, don’t read” so remember that you are not obligated to read or watch everything in a fandom if you don’t enjoy it.

I wanted to start by saying that, there is a long history when it comes to sapphic relationships of them being written off or shows being cancelled, so when it appeared like the main story line of a popular ip was going to be a wlw relationship that meant a lot to people, and having it be completely swept away like it was nothing is devastating. I need people who don’t typically engage with wlw media to understand that. You can’t look at this show and what happened without understanding the context and history that this type of media exists in. There is no mainstream romance show where the main couple is a sapphic couple. There is no lesbian Heartstopper or Heated Rivalry. This genre, and that’s an important distinction—romance is a specific genre and so not every relationship in a show counts as romance—it has really no (western) show that represents what a wlw love story looks like as a main couple. Tell me how many romance shows have a straight pairing as the main storyline and then tell me how many romance shows have a sapphic pairing as the main storyline.

So Kitty and Yuri was never something trivial.

And I keep seeing comments telling people to shut up about it because it “wasn’t like they were a good relationship anyway,” but whether or not something is “good” is subjective in art, so it’s completely nonsensical to try and police that. I personally don’t think Mooncovey is a very good ship, but I don’t go around on Mooncovey posts and tell people that because people are allowed to like and feel however they want about the media they consume, but it is cruel to tell a minority group of people that they are not allowed to want representation. It is cruel to act like this didn’t mean anything to so many people that they could finally see themselves reflected in a way that they haven’t. It’s never been more obvious that people hate queer women than the reaction to this and the reaction to the announcement of Francesca and Michaela being the next leads of Bridgeton. Every time I write another think piece it seems there’s a new sapphic ship getting brutalized.

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Straight people ruin everything

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I don’t have anyone to talk to about this, so here it goes

I fear I have a very specific collection of interests that have culminated in a weird way, which is realizing that Thai naming convention is the same as thoroughbred horse naming convention.

So Thai naming convention is that each person has a first and last name, and typically parents want to give unique names that aren’t already taken. And last names very specifically follow directly to bloodline rather than the generalized last names that come out of the Romance languages last-name convention. This then leaves people with long and complicated names, so people get nicknames as children that are often unrelated to their legal name.

With thoroughbred horses each horse has to be registered under a unique name, which means that over time names have had to get longer and more complicated. Often registered names also follow similar words or themes as the parentage as to show they have good genes. But since they are registered with long names they’re given a “stable name” which is a nickname that they are actually called and can but doesn’t often relate to the registered name. The stable name is often given first to a foal before they have to be registered, and is used earlier on as the actual name.

I just thought this was really interesting, like how unique legal names end with specific nickname conventions.

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SOMEONE NEEDS TO EDIT THE XO KITTY CHARACTERS TO “WHAT YOU KNOW” BY TWO DOOR CINEMA CLUB!!!

I might just learn to edit to do this because I fear this is a need to not a want. Thank you for listening to this very important announcement.

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I… I figured it out. Why mooncovey is so popular.

From Min Ho’s perspective him and Kitty does genuinely appear like a good arc. Because from his perspective there’s this annoying girl that’s taking up his space and his best friend’s time, and so he pushes her buttons and she pushes his buttons. He really doesn’t consider her to be anything more than a slight annoyance in his life until he’s briefly shown just actually how caring and magnetic she is. Then he’s struck with the fact that he might like this girl even though that’s something he doesn’t really do and also she’s dating his best friend. But he can’t help himself from caring despite the fact that he knows it’s wrong. He thinks he’s doing a pretty good job at hiding it until he’s confronted by his best friend for these potential feelings only for it to be dismissed leaving him significantly more confused. Then the girl that he likes is faced with being kicked out of the school, and then not kicked out, and then kicked out leaving him in a weird place about if he should leave his feelings on the table or let the situation alone. He comes to her as a friend on the plane ride, but when Kitty tells him that her and Dae broke up he thinks that it’s now or never and confesses his feelings, only to have it not reciprocated and the situation awkward. Then, it turns out Kitty isn’t expelled and now he has to face this awkwardness head on, but then she talks with him and there almost seems to be a glimmer of feelings from her side. But they agree for the sake of Dae to just be friends. Kitty then helps him find a new relationship, that despite still not being over her he actually finds himself enjoying. He thinks he’s fine watching her move on to new people as he becomes more comfortable in his new relationship. Then boom he walks into Kitty and Yuri kissing, which is just a whole lot of new information at once. He’s then faced with disappointment from his father and Kitty’s emotional turmoil and getting snowed in and his other best friend dating someone who bullied him and a random love letter getting handed around and then it becoming clear that Kitty wrote the letter about Yuri and then Yuri and Juliana breaking up, so he’s probably thinking that he doesn’t really want to get involved with all that and focuses on Stella who is actually being a really good girlfriend. But then Kitty needs help with going to locate her family so he wants to be a good friend and help her because he’s starting to realize that maybe she doesn’t have feelings for him past platonic. The thing is once he comes to terms with that here she comes acting jealous and stirring up stuff with his girlfriend. He thinks Kitty is messing with his emotions so he stops being her friend, but then it turns out she’s actually been right about Stella. And suddenly he’s faced with all these emotions that he thought had been squashed. He doesn’t want to put himself out there again because he doesn’t know how Kitty feels, but he still very much cares. And then Kitty tracks him down and asks if she can join him for the summer on the road.

That’s… that’s like actually a convincing arc, which would make sense why people are so hell bent on it. Because if we’re strictly looking at only Min Ho his emotional beats fit very well into a romance arc with Kitty.

However…

It’s not XO, Min Ho, and so the story is probably not going to follow the logic of his perspective especially since us as the audience knows more information than he does. We know Kitty’s emotions and her romance beats, and those simply don’t align. But this does make sense as a compelling argument for why people do enjoy it… just wish there wasn’t so much harassment towards people who don’t get their vision, maybe then I would be more compelled to listen to this narrative.

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This is going to start with a preface, so very carefully read this first part before engaging. This is a media analysis looking into Jenny Han’s cinematic catalog, and breaking down how different components work within the current three narratives, and then some theoretical exploration of XO, Kitty. If you are simply in this fandom space to have fun, don’t pay attention to this, and just enjoy what you enjoy! I’m writing this because I want to have a more serious discussion on my thoughts surrounding the function of these narratives, but I am by no means saying that you have to agree with me. This is just my piece.

I want to start with the thesis of Jenny Han’s work. Mess. Which seems self explanatory, but let me elaborate. Human beings are imperfect, and especially when we’re growing up and into ourselves. Being a teenager and young-adult is messy, and people seem to want to distance themselves from that idea. But it’s a part of learning that can’t be escaped, you have to fall down a hundred times before you can do something “perfectly.” That mess of adolescence is what Jenny Han’s stories try to capture. It’s often pushed to the most extreme, but that almost makes it more impactful. When you’re a teenager you make poor decisions because you simply don’t have the experience to make better ones. It doesn’t make you a bad person to have to learn from your actions, from mistakes. With the intensity in the work, people just have to hold their suspension of disbelief because at the end of the day it is a story, and so it’s not going to be completely realistic. Why is it so easy to understand that with fantasy, but when it comes to contemporary writing it all gets thrown out the window? Both genres can have beats that function similarly even if the plot and world are different. Because this intensified plot makes the second half of the thesis just that much more potent, which is the idea that even if you are messy and imperfect it doesn’t make you less worthy of love. That’s the root of all these love stories, it’s the idea that imperfection is okay and “true love” is unconditional and pervasive—people can mess up, learn, change, over and over. None of it makes them less deserving of a happy ending. Maybe it’s not what they thought would happen, maybe everything crashes down just to be built up again, but at the end everyone ends up where they need to be. These stories are quintessentially young-adult and coming of age. It captures the essence of being young and stupid, when everything feels at 100% all the time. When small things are so big and life is unstable as you grow into it. I mean, who makes all good decisions at 17? I certainly didn’t and I was a kid who was risk adverse. People vilify it as if the work is the gold star of morality, instead of what it is, which is an embodiment of how it feels to be a young-adult and figuring out romance. Imperfection and mess is the point.

The second layer of this is disillusionment. The main characters start off with a preconceived notion of romance/love. The story breaks that understanding open and flips it around. With Lara Jean this was about her idea of a perfect romance. She had to come to terms with the fact that real love is imperfect, and built on trust and communication rather than flawlessness and synchronicity. Real love didn’t exist in the romance novels that she read. The mess of her real relationship with Peter isn’t any less for its stumbles and flaws, but actually all the better for it. It feels much more real and sturdy. We aren’t left wondering if they’ll make it after the story ends because by then they’ve proven they will. For Belly it’s this idea of uncomplicated flings. She wants the whirlwind summer romance that means everything without actually having to mean anything. But then she finds herself in a situation with all of the strings, but that complexity is actually what makes it worth something. If there are no stakes in something then there’s nothing to lose. All the care in love is meaningless if it holds no weight. Then, there’s Kitty who is the matchmaker. She believes she knows love and can spot it easily. She thinks she’s found love in Dae, but then gets blindsided by her feelings for Yuri. All of the matches she makes in her friend group falls apart because in reality she doesn’t have love figured out. Each time she thinks she has it figured out she’s thrown a curveball because life is never straight forward. The easy option, more times than not, is not the right one.

Something that makes Jenny Han’s work particularly compelling is her through lines. All the large arcs are planned out from the beginning, which is the perk of coming from novel writing to being creative director on the adaptations. It makes all the turmoil feel satisfying when you see it all play out. Regardless of what happens in the in between the endgame and the main-character have gravity. And this can all be demonstrated in a fun stylistic quirk that the productions have. The thread of characters is placed concretely by parallel scenes. For this I want to focus on two, because they pull the through line together very nicely and, also, I’ve seen people pointing them out. These would be the: “are you okay?” and “I love you” scenes. The infamous “are you okay” scenes, when, for whatever reason, the main-character finds themselves on the ground and the endgame checks on them to make sure they’re okay. You may look at this and think that it’s just a fun Easter egg to throw in, but actually it serves an important purpose. This scene serves as an anchor point for the endgame relationship. It’s a moment of care between those characters without anything in between them. This is their raw selves and reactions to a slightly imperfect moment. It gives proof to the audience that there’s a connection beyond superficial even just for a blink in time. This scene holds down the relationship at its purest form, so even when the two characters get pulled apart and put back together a thousand times we stay with it. The characters gave us a reason to do so, and it’s because they show they care without expectation. Then, there’s the “I love you” scene, which serves as the final suture in the “will they, won’t they” of the endgame couple. Even if they don’t immediately end up together, it’s only just a matter of time. Because this is the moment the endgame says what the main-character needs to hear, even if for the case of Belly who doesn’t want to hear it. This is the full circle of the “are you okay” scene. These characters have been through so much mess, and yet that love never dies. This is the point where the endgame proves to the audience that it was always them. They say they love the main character because they have to because anything else would be lying. It brings back the rawness and proves to the audience that it never really left, even if it appeared that way from the outside. It’s a scene that really pulls the through line together.

Now’s the part where I say things that are debatable. Since we don’t know the ending of XO, Kitty we can only theorize about her endgame, so what if we look at the scene indicators to see if anything follows the parallels of the other pieces. Let’s start with the “are you okay” scene since that one always comes first. I’ll break some things down, starting with Min Ho’s scene because he seems to be the person most people use with this comparison. See, the problem I have with this scene as an endgame indicator is that it’s actually not a parallel, because it doesn’t function in the same manner as the other “are you okay” scenes. Yes, it may look similar, but that’s also something done by design. The scene literally acts as a fake out, which is so funny considering Kitty doesn’t fall for real, it’s fake. The moment is theatrical and a blatant nod to Lara Jean and Peter. It’s almost as if to say Kitty is putting on the role of her sister. She’s falling into something she views as safe—as true love—but is ultimately inauthentic. It’s honestly quite a genius red hearing because it plays on the audiences previous conceptions, as a way to look convincing. It’s playing on the same emotions and recognization that is serving as Kitty’s motivations, which makes it feel compelling in the context of the narrative. However, the thing that really illustrates how this scene isn’t a functional parallel is the “are you okay” scene between Kitty and Yuri. Because that scene serves the pre-established function that the Lara Jean & Peter and Belly & Conrad scenes do. That is a relationship tether. We get introduced to Yuri in the clothing store as kind of a brat, but when Kitty is accidentally hit by her car she lets her guard down. Kitty is a stranger and yet she doesn’t feel the need to protect herself. Same with Kitty. Kitty asks a stranger for a ride without much consideration. This point serves as vulnerability and care for a moment before Kitty finds out that Yuri and Dae are fake dating and Yuri puts her mask back up. In the moment they’re just two strangers without expectations, and yet there’s an underlying affection. This is the anchor.

I’ll also use the “I love you” scenes because I saw a post using Min Ho’s plane confession as a parallel. With the context of the “I love you” scene as a wrap up of the main romantic arc, it is safe to say that Kitty has yet to have that moment in her story. Min Ho’s confession isn’t a parallel because he hadn’t even had the “are you okay” scene yet with Kitty. The “I love you” scene only works as a full circle moment because it recontextualizes character actions and brings the audience back to the anchor emotionally. So we can’t say what that scene will look like for Kitty and who it will be with.

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Okay listen up!

I’m about to say something that might make a lot of people mad, but I’m too pissed to care right now.

I’ve found myself falling into the Jenny Han productions fandom, and especially XO, Kitty. Let me say I’ve seen bad shipping wars, but this doesn’t feel like a shipping war this feels like a shipping ambush. On every single catglass post I see way too many people talking about how mooncovey is end game. Posts that are people just trying to have fun with shipping their characters and there’s someone with a full paragraph on why the creator is wrong to ship catglass. On. Every. Single. Post.

I’m fully for people shipping what they want! I’m very much a multi shipper, and I don’t have a problem with mooncovey as a ship. I have a problem with how there’s an overwhelming number of people telling catglass shippers that they’re wrong for shipping Kitty and Yuri. To the point that it feels less like it’s about shipping content and more that people are uncomfortable with the idea that the main character of a teen romantic dramity having a queer endgame. Especially a sapphic endgame.

So let’s get some facts straight before I blow a gasket:

Endgame Theories

The “are you okay” scene. I’ve seen far too many people use the scene of Min Ho and Kitty on the track as “proof” that they’re endgame—to the point that I totally thought the scene would be more impactful than it was. 1) Yuri and Kitty already had that scene. It was their introduction to each other in a way that made the connection palpable. 2) Laura Jean and John Ambrose also had an “are you okay” scene and there was never dispute about them being endgame (granted I understand the context was different). But Min Ho and Kitty’s scene was second. It was also not romantic. Min Ho was being unobservant about the distraction plan that was happening right in front of him. It was about five seconds before Stella was next to him. And then the characters immediately move on because Q makes it to the race. The scene doesn’t linger or feel like it means anything.

“But he’s like Peter.” So? Kitty isn’t like Laura Jean. Of course after all the absolute chaos of getting herself into five different love triangles she would want to go towards someone who feels safe. He reminds her of Peter, yes, and that makes him feel like a safe bet for a relationship. You know what this sounds like? Laura Jean with John Ambrose.

There’s literally a formula guys. Even if the context is different. Because none of the main characters are the same and neither are their situations, but the plot progression is. And I think this can best be explained in something Min Ho talked about: a reason, a season, and a lifetime. “A reason” the love interest that we are introduced to. This is the character that brings the audience into the world and the main character’s emotional state. It doesn’t matter whether or not we root for them to work out because they aren’t meant to. For Laura Jean that was Josh, and for Kitty that was Dae. “A lifetime” this is then when the main love interest gets introduced. They aren’t endgame yet, but they are put into the main character’s world and give the audience time to root for them. Laura Jean it’s Peter and for Belly it’s Conrad. “A season” this love interest is the mid point. At this point the main character and the main love interest have had some fights or conflict that threatens to remove them from each other’s lives. This character comes in as a soft spot that then turns out not to be what the main character actually wants. For Laura Jean that’s John Ambrose and for Belly that’s Jeremiah. “A lifetime” again. This is the endgame. This is when the main character and the main love interest fall back into each other in a way that’s more evolved. We root for them again after all of the mess. The only difference in these shows is the slight genre tonal change. Laura Jean is in a coming of age story. Kitty is in a k-drama. Belly in a western drama. So tell me? Which spots do Yuri and Min Ho fit?

Season colors. It’s no secret that there’s a color theory that’s going on in these productions, and especially in XO, Kitty. Every wrap ends with a colored pair of pajama pants. The first season was blue, the second was purple, and the third pink. These are funnily enough the bisexual flag, but they’re also more importantly related to a character color. In the show texts are shown on screen with the character name, face, and a color. Dae is blue, which makes sense for the first season because he’s the main love interest. Min Ho is purple, and I would argue that the season is very much focused on his relationship with Kitty. The pink, which has always been associated with Yuri…

The poster. The original poster for the show has all of the characters of the main group. Dae, Q, Kitty, and Min Ho are all in blue tones and they’re all looking at each other. Then there’s Yuri. Who is in pink and staring directly at the camera.

It would just be bad writing. Having your endgame get together at the end of season 2 for their relationship to start off of screen makes so little sense. But even without that in mind Min Ho and Kitty don’t have a consistent through line that would make them being endgame satisfying. In season 1 Min Ho is the literal worst to Kitty until he suddenly realizes she’s a person and then two seconds later he wants to jump her bones while she’s actively in a relationship with Dae who is his best friend. Then he tells Kitty that he’s in love with her after she tells him that she literally just broke up with Dae. Then they have some weird maybe tension, but move on to be friends. Kitty deals with other drama and continues to search out his comfort as friends until everything falls apart and she ends up realizing she likes him. After they have a talk about rebounds… Meanwhile Yuri and Kitty have storylines that are intertwined with each other. Kitty has pretty consistently liked Yuri through both seasons. There’s a through line that makes an endgame satisfying. Even when there was conflict between them they still held soft spots for each other.

The Double Standard

One of the things I see a lot of in comments is people treating Min Ho like a saint and Yuri like the personification of evil. It’s such a wild thing to see because, firstly, none of the characters are perfect. They’re 17 and messy as hell. That’s what makes the show interesting. It’s pare for the genre, and if you came in thinking everyone would be squeaky clean morally then you came to the wrong place. All of the characters have flaws and make not the best decisions. They’re teenagers. Secondly, Min Ho is the last person that should be considered a clean character. In season 1 he’s a terror. He’s so mean to Kitty for literally no reason, and starts shit for very little explanation. He’s so mean about her relationship with Dae, who again is his best friend. He starts the “Portland Stocker” name. He constantly pesters her to get out of his and his friends’ lives. And that is just brushed over like nothing.

Meanwhile, yes, Yuri was mean. But she had a reason. She was wearing a persona for her protection. We see her vulnerability when she’s with people she trusts. She’s just scared. She’s nice to Kitty when they’re strangers versus Min Ho who pretends he can’t speak English. Yuri is only mean when she realizes that Kitty threatens the beard she has with Dae. But even when she is supposed to hate Kitty there are still slips in her vulnerability, like her talking about her mom on the hike.

People say that Yuri abandoned Kitty after their kiss so much as an excuse as to why catglass is the worst thing ever. Though it’s not a great thing that Yuri did, there were certainly personal reasons to why she was freaking out as well. Min Ho tells Kitty not to ruin the ski trip even though he sees how much this is affecting her. The person who actually is there for Kitty is Q.

“There’s No Chemistry”

Just say you don’t understand longing or tension or restraint. Because as someone who has seen a lot of relationships in media with zero chemistry, catglass is not one of them. They have the tension that is held in what they don’t do more than what they do in a moment where they can’t fall together. There’s so much between them so it doesn’t make sense for them to just throw caution to the wind and crash into each other. There’s fact that they’ve even kissed means so much.

As someone who has been in the trenches of queer media and especially wlw media since high school, I can say that this ship is wild. This is a ship with overtones and not undertones. There is blatant representation with the characters. Yuri is treated as an equal love interest in the show. THEY KISS! Especially with all the Wenclair stuff that’s coming out. I have seen queer bating so much in tv shows. Characters who are in all respects queer except that it’s never said out loud. The fact that Yuri is canonically a lesbian and Kitty is canonically bi, is absolutely amazing. I have so many times in my life held my breath waiting to see if a ship will ever be more than just a theory. The fact that this debate is about the endgame and not about if there’s anything between them that’s queer, is amazing. It’s sad that more queer people don’t feel comfortable getting behind the ship in a way that’s as excited as they should be. And I think that has to do with how catglass shippers are treated. It’s so hard to see how defeated people are that they may never see a big endgame ship that’s queer and especially wlw. It makes me so sad and mad at how they’ve just given up.

This was never about just Min Ho versus Yuri. This is about how people don’t take wlw ships seriously. People who go on catglass posts talking about how mooncovey is better are punching down, and attacking people that are just trying to enjoy something we barely get. You have so many straight endgame ships, why is this one so important? You guys should be ashamed of yourself

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You know what this is my year to like creative decisions that no one else does!

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Sorry I was gone. I was dealing with the Horrors.

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While I’m writing things about the Novitiate! Damn I love that movie and the fact that I just found it feels like a crime, but also I’m thankful to have found it at all. I found it by happenstance through a Tik Tok meme edit that came up on my for you page while I was looking at Dina x Ellie edits because I let myself look at Tik Tok in a moment of weakness, pure boredom, and wanting to see my little guys. I don’t think I’ve ever been apart of such a small fandom. Like AO3 has 6 fics and I can’t even read two because they’re in Spanish. And the 4 fics I can read are by only two authors. I’m so thankful for those guys, and I get why it’s so hard because I want to write stuff for Cathleen and Gabby (Sister Emanuel) and boy do I realize that they can really only exist in the context of the movie. However, I’m stubborn, and those two fundamentally changed me as a person so I’m trying. The writers block has gotten my ass though because the movie really is perfectly contained. Trying to find another story to tell has proven to be difficult. The movie is the arc of Cathleen realizing that God cannot fill her loneliness. It is the idea of realizing that comfort and God comes from community rather than isolation. Love is not sacrifice. Love is comfort. How the fuck do I expand on that shit in a way that makes sense. How do I continue past “I want more.” What does more even entail? And I know I can give that to Cathleen, but there’s just so little thread connecting her and Gabby (don’t yell at me for calling her that. 1) her name is Gabrielle Emanuel. 2) I might be hallucinating but I swear that Cathleen calls her Gabby when she’s at her door begging her to let her in). Like Cathleen supposedly stays in Tennessee, and Gabby is from New Hampshire and probably goes back after she leaves the Roses. Also we don’t know why Gabby left, so expanding on her character is a whole thing in itself. Do they really want to keep in contact. It’s the 1960s that’s not necessarily easy, and I know that the focus of the movie was focused on the restriction of relationship because they were nuns, but there’s also the taboo of them being queer in the 60s. The catholic guilt has to be baked in deep with those two. I feel like I have a puzzle cube in front of me and I don’t even know where to think to begin. And I could write stuff that’s just self indulgent and something that isn’t logically sound, but I feel like the movie was so beautiful and layered in its meaning that I have to do it justice. I want to do the characters justice.

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Do I want my little guys to kiss and have a happy ending, yes. Is the story also perfectly tied up and character motives no longer aligned for them to have a relationship outside of the specific context of the story, yes. Am I still trying against all reason to write something for them, you guessed it that would be a yes.

Help :)

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Why are you reading my fic then???

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Just updated my fic!!!

Now you guys can play the game of trying to figure out which one it is!