Prime Snoozer

Pterodactyl Shitstorm waits for no man

[walltowalltitties]

Introduction/About

Kel. They/them. 31. Sleepy bitch. 🇨🇦

(current icon made with nyurei's picrew)

Just some bitch online, who reblogs and occasionally posts things. Not anyone of consequence, even though I'm right pretty much all the time. Unemployed and unpopular, and I'd like to keep it that way (the unpopular part, that is); don't bother asking me for money or "reach", as I can't actually give you either of those things. DON'T use tone tags/"indicators" when talking to me, just talk to me like a person. Maleficent is everything I want to be in life, except the being green part.

More about me, such as my trauma, triggers, illnesses, disabilities, spending habits, etc. under the cut:

John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt 4:20: thou shalt mind ya goddamn business.

[edgebug]

"wholesome" and "pure" are not antonyms of "sexual" btw

[parkchanwoohoo]

Every four days I have to be like "kinks, on their own, mean absolutely nothing, everything in the world is determined by your actions, not whatever exists in your head" and every four days people are like "OH SO YOU THINK THOUGHTS CAN'T LEAD TO ACTIONS" "OH SO YOU'RE OKAY WITH PEOPLE MOLESTING BABY ANIMALS" etc etc and I'm like, okay I have a kink for annoying people getting their shit blown smooth off by an 18th century Tortugan buccaneer wielding a stolen Dutch blunderbuss, And Yet...... note how no harm has happened to you due to, and sit down for this: nobody fucking doing anything

[parkchanwoohoo]

I despise the kind of mealy-mouthed hedging that every post needs to include because every buffoon who was given a Whole language reading education somehow nevertheless finds themselves magnetically drawn to commenting on shit they can't understand like iron filings towards a magnet BUT I've had a rough 24 hours in the world of Dealing With Such Individuals Online so I'm also going to add: the idea of "not being allowed to criticize kink" is a fiction invented by people who don't fuck enough in real life to have a working experiential opinion on how any of this shit is actually applied outside of Discord chats. Everyone's allowed to criticize anything. Who gives a shit. Grow up. The only ask I personally have for anybody I have to interact with is that people practice some basic theory of mind instead of assuming anybody whose general sexual preferences are slightly outside of "Tasteful penetration as sponsored by Trojan" is some kind of blithering zombie with a mental video game meter labeled WILLINGNESS TO COMMIT SEX CRIMES that ticks upwards every time they read a post about siblings fucking

[magneatio]

[magneatio]

[swagophile]

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

[most-sane-classicist]

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

[jessafer94]

out of boredom i decided to scan a stuffed shark. here are the results.

[strangersea]

your work is appreciated

[trainsforbrains]

op i spent entirely too long on this and im sorry

[scarlet--raven-deactivated20230]

It’s 1:30 am and I’m cackling like a deranged witch

[walltowalltitties]

It's too hot!!

[creekfiend]

"this advice won't work for me because it's only For Abled/Neurotypical People" no

"I am unable to successfully act on this advice due to my disability and do not have the supports available to get this need met" yes.

why?

puts the blame and anger in the correct place. none of us have the supports we need to meet basic needs and we should be furious about this on a systemic level, rather than telling people online who advise us that it is good to get those needs met that they ✨must not be disabled✨ or whatever because they say it's good to get restful sleep

[sdzoo]

How to catch a fish in 4 easy steps by Nindiri the jaguar (pics by Nancie Cunningham Casey)

[pangur-and-grim]

my house is scary at night

[t4timekeeper]

i’m pursuing a career as a pastry chef and i enjoy making sweets for the people i love. if one more person starts waxing hysterical about the dangers of sugar and fat and calories in response to me making something nice for them i’m gonna become a real life batman villain.

[t4timekeeper]

like they almost always DO want the sweet in question, so it’s not a matter of disliking the gift. but they feel the need to perform this whole display of guilt and shame about it. and it’s super awkward and uncomfortable.

[t4timekeeper]

it’s not black tar heroin. it’s a cookie. i made it with love. it will not kill you. if you don’t want it that’s perfectly okay. but at least have the same grace and manners you would if you were rejecting any other gift, alright?

[myfootyrthroat]

This drove me nuts as a pastry chef. I would do catering orders and it would be like "We just want a lot of fresh fruits and bright, colorful berries, you know? Lots of fresh flavors and antioxidants! And I guess a few cookies or tarts for the people with less self-control..."

and without fail, the trays would come back with the actual desserts picked clean and the fruit 90% untouched.

Please, do not make me participate in this charade with you. We both know you just want chocolate. Just let me give you the chocolate. Don't make me cut up and garnish all this fruit for nothing.

[sizzlingcandyjellyfishhhhhh]

so what if I want to have total control over every single thing at all times. just let me lol

[shithowdy]

begging people trying to call out abusers in their community to stop delegitimizing their story by dedicating entire chapters in their documentation to shit like "draws feral porn" or "kins a hazbin"

[shithowdy]

every word in your document could be 100% true but if your examples meant to highlight their behavior include anything that isn't directly relevant to how they have actually hurt or expressed a desire to hurt people and is instead just there to serve as additional gawking material to paint them as a gross degenerate like some kind of kiwifarms thread then i'm going to assume you're also a dangerous person who just happened to be victimized because you serve as the common denominator for the nasty company you keep and block the shit out of every single person involved. love and light.

[internethistory]

[ominous-signs]

Official ominous sign

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

sakura uses the clow wand to hit a badminton birdie (cr 球场NPC羊)

[kariachi]

[Video description: Two individuals, one in Cardcaptor Sakura cosplay, play badminton in the evening. The one in the cosplay is using the clow wand instead of a racket, to quite good effect. /End description]

[sandmandaddy69]

[liltoaster]