[gets shot in spanish]

miles upshur of red barrels' outlast. 21+. recorded by moss

[walriding]

whether I escape or die here, I am free

This is an indie, private, 21+ roleplay blog for Miles Upshur of the 2013 video game Outlast

Important links:

RULES

ABOUT

VERSES

recorded by moss (29; she/her) | blogroll: @fanaiceach ; @miswaken ; @brightpoet

[luthanraels-bignaturals]

average waylon note: I feel as if I'm Dante, travelling further and further down into the inferno. No companion by my side, no, none but the pale loveless light of my camera. Lisa, my love. My heart. I can still recall your face. The monsters in the corridor call out to me. They want to drag me deeper and deeper into this wretched underworld. But I am steadfast, verily

average miles note: I just saw a guy eat an entire hand in one bite. This place blows chunks fuck my life

[walriding]

oh and miles is fully in a Relationship with the thing in his head btw. this applies to every verse in which the walrider exists <3

[walriding]

Remedyverse Miles is enough of a freak to defy classification. He’s probably most like an Altered Item, if anything — if Mount Massive was an Altered World Event, then he was the paranaturally charged thing that was left in the aftermath. But it’s debatable if he was altered, or if he’s just a host body for a paranatural entity (the Walrider). Which would technically make the nanites the Altered Item, and he’s just kinda. There.

Regardless of whatever serial number he’s been assigned, he’s definitely treated like an Altered Item. i.e. occasionally poked with a stick but otherwise left to his own devices in a cell. Make no mistake this man is not a Prime Candidate! They’d never put Mr. ‘makes jerking off motions when an authority figure speaks’ in charge of a government agency. Like everything else the FBC has collected he’s there to be studied and contained. He’s never killed anyone at the FBC — they didn’t catch him until they had some containment measures in place — but he certainly had a body count before the Oldest House. He’s dangerous, and dangerous people (Murkoff) would love to get him back. So it’s totally fine to keep him locked up forever for everyone’s benefit.

The Bureau has collected other things of his as well, and have them stored together as part of their overall study of the Mount Massive event. They found his Jeep after Waylon abandoned it, and somewhere along the way they got their hands on his camera and notebook from that night as well. The fact that they’ve got a copy of all the footage he shot — including moments where he was tortured and broke down — bothers Miles more than he’ll admit. At least when he’s being studied and interviewed he has some control over what they know and how he’s perceived. He hates that they have access to his shittiest moments completely unfiltered.

The day-to-day stuff is more monotonous than anything. Most days are boring enough that he almost looks forward to testing and experiment days because at least it’s something to do. He generally disdains every agent of the Bureau, but some are more tolerable than others. He’s extroverted enough to still want contact and connection even with people who otherwise suck. They’ve got the Walrider contained with a combo of Black Rock and other electromagnetic elements. It has next to no physical presence as a result, which keeps Miles at a human equivalent power level in that regard. But it is still very much in his head. And considering he has little regular human contact, it’s the only thing Miles can “talk” to. Understandably this has made him socially weird.

By the time the Hiss outbreak happens and he breeches containment like other Altered Items, he’s been in holding for several years (the Outlast timeline is inconsistent — the FBC grabbed him sometime after the events of the second game which was anywhere from a few months to a few years after the first depending on what you believe, but for this verse I tend to split the difference. So figure he’s been with the Bureau at least 4-5 years), he’s poorly socialized and not happy with his captors, but he is still human in spite of how he’s been treated. He doesn’t want to see the world go to shit even if the FBC itself deserves it, so he’s not going to be an antagonistic force. Just a mildly obnoxious but ultimately helpful one. Incidentally, the Walrider also makes him immune to the Hiss without an HRA. Makes him a good guy to keep around.

[ccf059]

how do you feel about blake langermann?

As I mentioned before, I still haven’t played Outlast 2, so I don’t really know Blake that well in detail.

But for some reason, I keep seeing a lot of illustrations of him in a “third wheel” kind of situation, so that’s the interpretation I’ve been going with for now.😅

[worst-roommates-ever]

[notpedropascal]

OSCAR ISAAC ‘In The Hand of Dante’ behind the scenes

[gabisart]

miles up shore without a paddle (but with a camera)

[walriding]

Miles is my least complicated muse when it comes to matters of sexuality. He’s got issues in other areas in terms of his sense of self, but not this one. Vocally and proudly bisexual and has been since he started yapping about school aged crushes. He’s always been both incredibly stubborn and self assured, so even when his parents — namely his mother — tried to downplay or discourage his feelings he didn’t take that to heart. It was a part of the reason why he became distant with his family once he was out on his own (though it wasn’t the only reason), but he never once turned their disapproval into negative self reflection. His attitude towards people who have a problem with him is and always has been fuck ‘em.

Historically he’s mostly dated men. His longest lasting pre-canon relationship was with a man, and he’ll blame the way it fizzled to on again off again bs before it died on a million different things — his work, the fact that they couldn’t legally get married for most of their relationship, etc etc. Truth is Miles can just be kinda flaky and he’s afraid of commitment! But he tries. Sometimes. Not a big relationship guy these days because of how much baggage he’s got, including being in a longstanding bizarrely psychosexual relationship with the Walrider. But he likes to flirt regardless of gender, and has been known to treat making straight men uncomfortable like an Olympic sport.

Miles very much loves women as well — one of my favorite ships for him to come from this blog was with a woman — but they’ve gotta be okay with a guy who’s a little fruity. Respectfully. In that regard he does also identify and present himself as a man but is pretty ambivalent to masculinity. Doesn’t go out of his way to dress in a gender nonconforming way on the regular (he’s got other things to worry about) but he’s not opposed to it either. Whatever gets people to call him pretty!

[walriding]

it’s 2026 and red barrels is still trying to gaslight me about the outlast timeline

[idk-tbh-idk]

I can’t get enough of this duuuuuudeeee

[finalvlog]

Alex flicks his thumb over the REC button, ending the test recording as soon as he hears the tone of Miles’ voice. He lets it hang at his side, attention fully centered on Miles and the look on his face, their eyes meeting. The fear in Miles' gaze has him setting the camera down entirely, letting it hit the metal grating. He steps forward slowly, into Miles space and reaches out, cupping his face. “Honestly. . . did not realize how terrified you would be.” Tries to keep Miles’ eyes on him and not the nearby bungee drop. “Shit.” His own gaze darts towards said height and then back to Miles. A laugh that sounds more like a choke escapes him at the suspicious look directed his way. “If part of the plan involved scaring you to death, sure, but I was thinking more along the lines of fun adrenaline spike.” He could kick himself for misjudging it, for assuming things - again. Instead of following that urge he slides his hands down to Miles’ shoulders, and gives a gentle tug towards him and away from the very high up bridge they had just stepped onto. “I’m great at improvising. New plan. Not this one, less high up more grounded.” He remembers the camcorder and glances down towards it then back to Miles. “Lemme just grab the camera.” Alex’s hand slides down the length of his arm, giving a final squeeze to Miles’ hand before he returns for the camcorder sitting innocuously above some hundred foot drop, give or take.

[walriding]

"We really should hammer out our conflicting ideas of fun." Communication is key, right? He's known for a while that Alex is a bit of an adrenaline junkie, prone to chasing the rush of an endocrine high, but he's not sure what about himself gave the indication he's of a similar mind. Just because Miles often finds himself in life or death situations doesn't mean he enjoys them. Well, he doesn't always enjoy them. He can see the appeal of a little danger, the flood of chemicals pulsing across the brain, but he's having a hard time finding that appeal right now.

He shuffles away from the edge and all but presses himself up against Alex, and he's still not convinced this wasn't his plan all along. Needlessly elaborate, though, if so -- it's not as though Miles is opposed to clinging to him when he's not guiding him away from the abyss. Jesus, it's not even that far down, he's pretty sure he's just being a baby right now. He's reluctant to let go of Alex long enough for him to retrieve the camera, but his heart rate is slowly returning to baseline, and he's determined not to look like that much of a loser.

"You, uh, you don't have to call the whole thing off. If this is something you wanted to do." His mouth feels a little dry at the thought of Alex going over the edge with or without him, but that's his own problem. Miles manages a crooked smile. "You know me, always happy to watch."

[emilesmuseassembly]

'No one knows the way out,' he almost argues, but Ethan stays quiet. Quiet as a mouse. He knows when to do that and let the world continue turning, at least he likes to think so.

It's something he's had to learn the hard way.

"I do," Ethan answers, and he truly does, but he's unsure if he can show this man. He doesn't know if it will be worth the risk. "But you will need to take me with you. Out of here, I mean. It is dangerous to bring you that far. There will be no way back for me."

He is not lying. Ethan isn't even completely sure if he will be able to get them safely to the upper levels with all of this chaos, let alone getting back after he's done it.

The least the man can do is let him tag along.

[walriding]

Great, just what he needs. A plus one. Because Miles has been having such a great time covering his own ass, having another person to worry about will make it so much easier. Even if the patient doesn't slow him down, there's a good chance he'll either get in Miles' way or just make it harder to move quietly -- and that's to say nothing of the fact that he might stop being friendly after about five minutes. The last thing the reporter needs is to have someone within limb-ripping-off distance decide he wants to do just that.

Still, it's not like he has another choice. There's no good way out of this room without playing nice. The plan doesn't have to change. Get out of here, get where he needs to go -- or at least closer to it -- then ditch the guy.

"Yeah, alright, fine. But I'm not sticking my neck out for you if it comes to it." Too honest, he really should say less to someone who still might kill him, but Miles lacks a filter at the best of times. And these times have certainly not been the best. He leaves the file folder on the desk -- it hadn't contained anything interesting -- and pockets the battery he'd found rattling around in the back of a drawer. Then he steps tentatively out from behind the desk, like he's approaching a scared animal he's half expecting to bite. "Lead the way."

[narrated]

a reporter. that gets her attention if it wasn't already enraptured. imagination is already running wild with what could be lurking within the shadows. once you had seen something you weren’t meant to see, you never stopped chasing that feeling. trying to validate your own experiences when the rest of the world seemed determined to convince you otherwise.

didn’t help that polaris was still strangely active in the back of her mind, almost restless. what’s got you so worked up? she queries. polaris only half responds, he’s hiding more. neither of them can tell what. not super surprising to jesse though. she hides plenty of things; such is the life of one with basically nobody left to trust.

they look down at his hand and visibly pause. one is clearly missing — not just missing, a stub. how in the goddamn fuck does a reporter lose their finger? she tries to shake the thought out of her mind as fast as possible. that’s a very bad line of thinking to start wandering down if she wants to keep her cool. ❛ jesse. ❜ she tentatively gives his hand a shake. ❛ so, miles, do you actually know where you’re going or do you want some help? ❜ they don’t trust him to start wandering around and not accidentally alert security, given his stunning display of acrobatics earlier.

[walriding]

His profession garners all manner of reactions. Some people get defensive, feeling -- often rightfully so -- that he's going to go sticking his nose in their business. Most people don't care, or crack some kind of joke about money and morals and the state of modern media. And others take interest, seeing him as a potential source of assistance. Someone who can help tell their story, or at least help them find answers.

Their interest is plain, and Miles already knows he's probably going to have to bank on that. Either there's something here that she's already suspicious of, something she wouldn't mind tipping him off to, or there's some other area of her life calling for a second scrutinizing set of eyes.

He just hopes that whatever it is, it aligns with his own goals. It'd make this a hell of a lot easier, not that Miles is ever so lucky.

Unfortunately, the way she hesitates before taking his hand is also plain. It's the finger thing, he's certain of it. And even if it's not, that's the assumption his mind latches to. He shoves his other hand into his jacket pocket, doesn't want the prolonged stare if they realize he's sporting a matching set of mutilation. Miles puts up with a lot, can grit his teeth through just about anything, but there's something about being reminded of just how wrong he is that makes him itch.

But Jesse doesn't comment, and that's a small relief -- even if his shoulders remain defensively tensed. "I mean, it's a hospital, they've usually all got the same layout." Somewhere there's a nurse's station, unmanned at this hour, with computers and patient records. That's the easiest way to start digging, but also the most risky. He's got help for the tech -- bypassing passwords, scrambling camera feeds -- but he's always loathe to spread himself too thin on jobs like this. Better to keep things as internal as possible. "But it'd be nice if I didn't have to wander around hoping to get lucky." He smiles a bit and raises a brow, a completely unsubtle hint that he's asking for a guide. "Wouldn't want to interrupt mop duty, though."

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[title]

Oscar Isaac’s Criterion Closet Picks

[walriding]

but actually the attempt to reasonably nerf the other protags (waylon limping for a chunk of the dlc, blake having limited sprint stamina and needing bandages after taking major damage) while miles’ repeated suffering has zero impact on gameplay until the last thirty seconds will always be funny to me