˚ ﹒ ૮ ⠀🩸⠀⠀&team reacting you with sh problems (hyung line)
cw: descriptions of cuts, extremely sensitive content, PURE ANGST . wc: 2k
a/n: if you are experiencing similar problems, please ask for help; you don't have to deal with this alone. And also don't read this if this theme triggers you! please prioritize your physical and mental health. ♡
Euijoo loved seeing you after practice, always going to your apartment for a small visit and often even sleeping over, and that day was no different. He had arrived at your apartment and rang the doorbell. But you didn't answer. He knocked on the door a few times and again got no response. For a moment, he even thought you might not be home, but he knew you, knew how much you hated going out late at night and always waited for him with open arms. Euijoo was and always had been a cautious man, so when he saw that you weren't answering, he decided to use the spare key you had given him for emergencies. He had never used the key before, there would have been no reason to, but he couldn't help but feel worried.
As soon as he entered the apartment, he immediately found it strange. Everything was dark, windows and doors closed, and worst of all, a silence that cut through the air like glass. He walked through the apartment calling your name, but you didn't answer. As he reached your bedroom door, he knocked a few times. Maybe you were sleeping and he was worrying for nothing, but an intuition told Euijoo otherwise—and he knew very well that you didn't sleep until he got home. When you didn't answer him again, he became even more worried. His knocking became more frantic, and his voice calling your name did too.
"Love... please open the door, I know you're in there."
A small silence stretched, but was soon broken by the click of the doorknob opening. When Euijoo laid eyes on you, his heart sank. You were there, with teary eyes and bandages on your right arm. He knew what had happened, and damn, he really knew.
The silence that stretched was uncomfortable.
"Juju... I-" before you could even say anything, you were interrupted by Euijoo's arms around your body. Now tears rolled from his eyes and yours. You stayed like that for a while, no one knows how long, it could have been minutes, seconds, or even hours.
"Forgive me. Forgive me for not being here with you, my love," Euijoo began to speak amidst sobs.
"Tell me how I can do to help you? Please, I don't want to see you like this, it hurts so much. Just tell me, I'll do anything you want, anything at all. Just promise me you'll never do this to yourself again."
His voice now sounded like cutting glass. You couldn't answer, your only reaction now was to cry and cry a lot.
After a while of hugging, you pulled away first.
"Juju," Your voice came out shaky and almost a whisper. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it's just that so much has been happening lately, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I-" before you could finish speaking, Euijoo interrupted you.
"No. Don't apologize, please, it's not your fault and it never will be, my love, never say that again. But tell me, what's been happening? I need you to tell me."
Then you spent the last hours of the night in each other's arms, with Euijoo listening patiently while you both still cried a little.
Fuma was on his way to the dormitory when he received a message from you, it didn't say much, just "Come to my apartment." I need you." At first, Fuma found it strange; you never sent messages like that, so of course, he immediately got worried and asked the manager to take him to your house. The journey took 10 minutes, which for Fuma felt like an eternity; he wanted to see you, he wanted to know what had happened.
As soon as he reached the door of his apartment, he didn't even bother to knock; he just entered the code and stepped inside his home. The silence that was there was deafening. I mean, you were a couple of silence, especially you, but something in the atmosphere made everything feel heavier.
Fuma went straight to your room and again, when he got there, he didn't bother knocking and just walked in without warning, which startled you. The scene that followed was terrifying, there you were with both arms covered in blood, which paralyzed Fuma as he slowly approached you, looking at your wounds. Unconsciously, tears began to roll down his eyes as he crouched down beside you to be at your height. He said nothing, just brought your bodies closer and gave you a tight hug.
That made you break down, crying profusely on his shoulder.
After a while, Fuma separated from you and headed toward the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit. He didn't say anything, nor did you. He didn't need to, his silence and care in doing it already said everything.
When you started dating K, you shared your journey of trying to stop self-harming, and of course, he always gave you as much support as possible. Sometimes he even offered to pay for your therapy sessions, and you really admired that. How K protected you, took care of you, and worried about you.
But now, it seemed like all his effort had been in vain; you had cut yourself again, after months of being clean, months of taking care of yourself to prevent this from happening, only for a simple inconvenience to ruin everything. You couldn't let K see that, even knowing he wouldn't scold you for doing it, your guilt always spoke louder, so when he arrived at your apartment that nite, you were wearing a jacket and sweatpants.
When he saw that, he immediately found it strange. It was summer in Japan, no one wore a coat at that time. So, he immediately realized, you had done that. K approached slowly, sitting beside you, initially just stroking your hair while a movie played on TV, but suddenly he stopped.
"My dear"—his voice came out trembling, tears threatening to fall.—"Tell me, did you do?"
His heart raced, he had noticed, of course he had. K was an observant man, always noticing everything that happened around him, especially what happened with you.
Even before trying to speak, tears began to fall from your face, you couldn't respond to that, it seemed too shameful to admit it out loud.
When he saw you crying, he immediately pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly in an embrace while your tears soaked his shoulder.
"K…I'm s-sorry… I didn'tmean to, I really didn't mean to… please don't be mad to me," you said between sobs, the tremor in your voice was noticeable.
Yudai pulled you away for a moment, just enough to look into your eyes.
"My dear... don't apologize, you are not to blame. Tell me, what happened? You can tell me, I'll understand. "I'm not angry, I would never be," he said with a calm voice, reassuring you.
So, you started to sing about what happened while he listened to you, the concern in his eyes was noticeable. After you finished speaking, he pulled you into another hug, whispering sweet words as you finished crying.
Nicholas had arrived earlier at your apartment, he never knocked on the door. He liked to make surprises, he liked to see your face light up and your smile as soon as he walked thru the door with a bouquet for you in one hand and sweets in the other. This was common between you, so that day was no different.
As soon as he entered your apartment, he could feel the heavy atmosphere; you weren't in the living room, and the apartment was a mess. That was strange; you had always been the most organized person Nicholas knew. So, seeing that, he immediately became worried, his mind racing thru a thousand horrible and different scenarios as he approached your room.
The bouquet and sweets were now set aside on the kitchen table.
Before reaching his room, he saw the bathroom door ajar and some sobs coming from inside. He didn't waste any time and opened the door completely, revealing her figure with a blade in her hand and deep, open cuts. Nicholas immediately froze. His expression now completely closing off as you tried to explain yourself to him, but he wasn't listening. What Nicholas felt now was a mix of emotions; while he was worried about you, he felt anger. Not anger at you, anger at himself, for not arriving earlier, for not noticing sooner, for not talking to you before. Before his thoughts and emotions took over, he gave you a hug while crying on your shoulder. It was the first time you saw him crying like that.
"F-forgive me, my love," he said between sobs, "I-I should have realized it earlier, please forgive me." His voice was now trembling, but he immediately pulled away from the embrace.
Now you found yourself sitting under the sink while he took care of your cuts. Nicholas did this with such care, afraid of hurting you even more, when he finished, he picked you up in his arms, as if you were a princess, and took you to your room, laying you down with the utmost gentleness.
Now a silence stretched out, it was uncomfortable and almost cutting.
"Nicho... I-" you started to say but he interrupted you.
"It's all right. We don't need to talk about it if you don't want to"
You smiled, pulling him to lie down beside you. None of you exchanged a single word, just snuggled up waiting for sleep to come.
You didn't want to do this, of course, but your week had been so exhausting, your boss bothering you at work, fights with your parents even tho you didn't live with them anymore. So, when Yuma went out to buy some things for dinner that you would have asked for, that moment seemed like the perfect opportunity to cut yourself.
You quickly went to the bathroom and grabbed one of the blades you kept there, even tho you swore to get rid of them every day. So you ran it once, it wasn't enough. The memories of the fights with your parents and the harassment from your boss at work still lingered in your mind. So you went over it again, and then two more times until you got a cut deep enough to distract your mind from that week and focus on the fresh cut.
Everything was perfect, you just needed to take care of that now, but when you turned to the door, Yuma was there. He had seen everything, or almost everything. His eyes were filled with tears, some spilling and wetting his face.
"Yuma, calm down, it's not that-" you tried to say but couldn't, your voice trembling and tears already streaming down your face.
"My love, look at me…" Yuma said in a calm voice.
But you couldn't look at him, not now. The shame and fear of being caught doing this by your own boyfriend consumed you.
Yuma sat you on the toilet while he looked for the first aid kit, and when he found it, he approached you. He waited for a confirmation that he could take care of your cuts after you gave a slight nod.
While he was cleaning, he started talking to you.
"Do you want to tell me why?" he said calmly while pressing the gauze on the deep cut.
You nodded slightly in a no, your shame was still great, you didn't have the courage to talk to him about it, not now.
After a long time, he finished taking care of the cuts. When he did this, he immediately pulled her into a hug while giving small kisses on her wet face.
You moved away first, now looking into his eyes.
"Aren't you mad at me?" you asked insecurely.
"I would never get angry with you, my love," he said, intertwining their hands.
"Yes. Absolutely. It's not your fault, it's okay, I understand you. I'm not angry."
When he said that, you allowed yourself to let out a long sigh and pull him into a hug.
"I love you," you whispered.
"I love you more, honey," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.
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