Warlock Weeb @warlockweeb - Tumblr Blog

Posts

zytes

this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

zytes

looking so rotatable

warlockweeb

I am Manatee the White. And I come back to you now... at the turn of the tide

thecuckoohaslanded

I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:

isn’t he beautiful

listen to the SOUND when he bites

and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them

specsthespectraldragon

2000 pounds of Good Boy

thecuckoohaslanded

you get me

thecuckoohaslanded

I honestly expected like 5 notes, what HAPPENED here

thecuckoohaslanded

More tags on this ridiculous post:

cn123017-deactivated20181204

Wait, thats the 2nd biggest crocodile? Then what does the biggest one look like?

thecuckoohaslanded

That would be Cassius, a very old Saltwater crocodile who is estimated to be around 114 years old and lives at Marineland Melanesia in Green Island, Australia. His official measurement is 5.48 meters, which makes him the largest in captivity currently. Because Utan is only slightly smaller and much younger, (only in his 50s), he will likely break Cassius’ record eventually. But for now, Cassius holds the title:

He is NOT, however, either the largest crocodile ever captured in Australia OR the largest ever in captivity.

A slightly larger crocodile has been reported (though not yet comfirmed) to have been captured at 5.58 meters.

And while the famous Brutus of the Adelaide River was estimated to be just slightly larger than Cassius at 5.5m, he was driven out of his territory by a younger and even larger crocodile, who as a result has been given the name, The Dominator. He is estimated to be just over 6m.

This is Brutus, with an appropriate caption:

It is believed that he lost that arm in a fight with a Bull Shark.

The Bull Shark lost.

THIS is the crocodile who kicked him out. The Dominator:

And that’s STILL not the biggest.

The largest living crocodile ever reliably measured was Lolong, who for the 1.5 years between his capture and his death was the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, at a whopping 6.17 meters (20 feet 3 inches) and 1075 kg (2,370 lbs). He had been feeding on both humans and very large livestock in the Bunawan creek in Agusan del Sur in the Philippines. It took 100 people all night to drag him to shore during his capture.

And here’s why:

Also, to prevent credit from getting buried on a separate reblog, I have been informed that the above image of the crocodile with the cartoon eyes and halo was made by @rashkah! (And it is wonderful and I would like to thank him for its existence, because it perfectly captures my feelings about terrifying giant primordial reptiles.)

sometimesihavequestions-deactiv

@theonewhocheeps

theonewhocheeps

Holy fuck

simon-newman

As far as Brutus is concerned I was led to believe that he lost that arm when relatively young.

Since then Brutus developed a habit of hunting and eating Bull Sharks.

Here’s him with a prey.

And if you thought that you’ll be safe if you just stay out of Australia then think again!

Meet Gustave the Nile Croc.

This crocodile became almost legendary for both it’s size and the habit of hunting both livestock AND humans.

So how big is Gustave?

No one is sure. Since he was NEVER captured.

His estimated size is of at least 5,5m but some give him over 6m.

The terrifying parts are:

1) He is still growing having only about 60 years.

2) Adult crocodiles often perform a gesture of submission to him - something usually done by young crocodiles toward adults - Gustave is just THAT BIG.

3) His sheer size makes it difficult for him to catch agile prey Nile crocs tend to feed on - hence why he developed a habit of hunting either larger prey like Hippopotamus or creatures which are not good at spotting danger in the first place like livestock and humans.

And this is NOT ALL.

Gustave actually has a noticeable scars on his body - he was shot at east 3 times and stabbed with a spear or something similar at one occasion.

He lived to tell the tale - my question is:

What happened to that one dude who attacked Gustave with a spear?

thecuckoohaslanded

*Crocodile Dundee voice* Mate, that’s not Gustave:

THIS is Gustave:

And he is the PERFECT CROCODILE. He is the perfect example of what I mean when I talk about (as I do) how the morphology of extremely large crocodiles adapts to the changing physics of their bite.

This is a typical adult Nile Crocodile:

And THIS is a god among his kind:

This is it, folks. The Final Form. THIS is what peak performance looks like.

Crocodiles and physics have an interesting relationship. Crocodiles have, by a CONSIDERABLE MARGIN, the strongest bite of any animal on Earth. EVER. Scaled up estimates (based on Nile and Saltwater crocodiles) give the extinct Deinosuchus an estimated bite force MORE THAN DOUBLE the recently updated Tyrannosaurus bite estimates. Living crocodiles have bite forces measured in the range of 5000 pounds per square inch, for an individual around 15-16 feet. It is estimated that modern crocodiles in the range of 18-20 feet would have bit forces around 7-8000 psi or more.

That’s a problem.

Because a crocodile’s skull is only designed to handle so much pressure. Go beyond that limit and the force of impact when those jaws snap shut could literally shatter their own skulls.

But evolution has spent hundreds of millions of years perfecting crocodiles, so PHYSICS ISN’T GOING TO STOP THEM. What ends up happening in the skulls of these extremely large crocodiles is they will increase dramatically in mass to compensate for the increased forces. A crocodile’s skull is almost exclusively solid bone, with only minimal space for nasal passages, a surprisingly advanced brain, and some slightly porous looking framework that helps the bone distribute the force over a larger area. The effect is by far the most pronounced in Nile crocodiles, which most regularly feed on larger prey and need to make use of all that power.

Compare, 26 inch skull:

vs 29 inch skull:

Both of those are Nile crocodile skulls (or rather, replicas thereof).

And just for fun, here are the skulls of completely different (and very extinct species), Deinosuchus:

and Purussaurus:

The bigger the crocodile (within a given species), the more massive the skull needs to be to compensate for that UNBELIEVABLE bit pressure. This is one way to see from a distance whether you are looking at a normal sized crocodile:

and a truly extraordinary individual:

One of the things about Gustave that’s so impressive is how healthy his teeth look. A lot of large crocodiles, in their old age, have very worn down and often missing teeth. They do replace them many times over a lifetime, but when they get very old this slows down. Gustave, at least in every picture taken of him, had teeth that were in very good condition.

Even crocodiles much smaller than Gustave’s reported size (probably similar in size to Dominator or Lolong) tend to have smaller or more worn teeth:

than the pinnacle of his kind:

muchymozzarella

Lolong! It means Gramps or Grandpa, because he’s a relic of an ancient world where crocs more massive than he was walked the earth. His body is on display somewhere right now though I forgot where.

tyrantisterror

Every time I see this post there’s more crocodiles. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

y00bi

robert: has anyone seen flamb-

ref/based on:

kabaks

capstellium

sorry i’m reblogging this again but this just makes me so fucking angry. this reminds me of those dudes running game of thrones who had virtually no experience and were allowed to just. treat a multimillion dollar franchise as their little fuck-around-and-learn-about-tv sandbox. why are white men with no credentials allowed to get away with this over and over again while the rest of us have to fight tooth and nail for literal crumbs. i fucking hate the entertainment industry

mrspockomakeitso

tfw you realize you put more thought into your self indulgent fanfic in middle school than someone in charge of a multimillion dollar franchise that employs thousands of people and is watched by millions.

warlockweeb

How the fuck it is not the end of his career?

Writer not knowing that you need a plan for a trilogy is like a doctor who doesn't know that human need heart to function. It is not about being good or bad, it is about being incompetent.

chaosroid

Trying to explain Warframe to new people is impossible without sounding absolutely insane. It's like, if a game had an identity crisis...but in a good way. An identity buffet, if you will. There's so much in this game it's sensory overload.

You like space dogfights? Rogue-lites? Fishing, mining, player housing? How about Guitar Hero, space shanties, and Tony Hawk's Pro Skater? Let's not forget the dating sim. Oh yeah, you can add a birthing QTE rhythm minigame too, because why not. I'm waiting for the inevitable sex update, cause y'know, we've gotten this far without imploding, so it might as well happen. Like what the fuck even is this game anymore. Nobody knows! Not even the devs themselves. It's all held together by dreams, duct tape and vibes at this point, but somehow it works.

Hop on Warframe, we have:

Bionicle meets Neon Genesis Evangelion

12 yr olds turning the geneva conventions into a checklist

your trans robot mom who has DID

old man yaoi

a traumatized group of bisexuals fighting the Y2K bug

an autistic child and his fidget spinner solos god

a fish voiced by Astarion

workers' union committing terrorism against capitalists

incel who tries to destroy the sun because he fumbled a bad bitch (she took the kids)

a boyband that you have to slay for weapons

and an eldritch entity beyond human comprehension that can only be defeated by the power of love

And if you think all that sounds unhinged out of context, don't worry, It's just as unhinged with context.

numbmontezuma

The genius fish who sent me back in time to save the galaxy from the man in the wall watching me do nothing but get my back blown out by the hot psych lady 24/07:

battlecrazed-axe-mage

dfmm

Warframe is wild for not only outright confirming that the primary, most personal antagonist for the player, the closest thing we know in this universe to an actual literal god, can be defeated by the actual literal power of love

but also that the example they use to confirm this is the toxic old man yaoi workplace situationship between unethical science georg who prepared for his time travel to 1999 by dressing up as a pokemon trainer and his pathetic failtwink Ygor

tortagnamgnam

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

unclebabie

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

cutedemonbabe

I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat

j24354657687901

I love the good luck cat. And we can all use a little luck

thesassycat

You can only reblog this today.

askjennaflorida

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

pocketss

she only plays minecraft and spore

lovesinistra

catholicismandpharmacy

damn right alien piece of shit (i would be so racist to aliens)

aletheius

the fact that aliens are just demonic apparitions that adapted to modern society to trick people gives this comic so much depth

riggedforsuccess

theosjunkdrawer

I love homestuck. Homestuck raised me. I will never suggest someone read it. I cant even tell you the whole plot. I know the whole plot by heart. Homestuck is vile. Homestuck is perfect. Homestuck is so bad. Homestuck was revolutionary for me. Homestuck changed the course of my life. I will never talk about it unless under extreme circumstances. Its funny. It influenced my grammer. I dont think about homestuck. I Always think about homestuck. Please talk to me about homestuck. Never talk to me about homestuck. I spent a year of my life terrified that I was going to be struck down for saying Jegus. I never got struck down. I am powerful with this knowledge. I am weakened by this knowledge. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I would not choose it again if the situation were different. It would have chosen me anyway. Read homestuck. Don't think about homestuck.

warlockweeb

Least unhinged Homestuck fan

#homestuck #hs

wafflebloggies

voxeldeath-deactivated20220518

voxeldeath-deactivated20220518

kaban-bang

wanderer-chronicles

misscrazyfangirl321

A character arc where the character who did terrible things and regrets them is forced to live, to put one foot in front of the other and find healing, who chooses to pour goodness into the world and make the world a better place

Is more satisfying to me than a character arc where the character who did terrible things and regrets them is redeemed through death

99.9% of the time.