when i was little my parents would tell me not to talk to strangers
sometimes they’d tell me not to talk at all
i’d sit there quietly until it was appropriate for me to make a sound
they told me never to tell a lie
but the first time papa hit me was because i told the truth
i learned then that the truth isn’t always welcome
when it was over he gave me a kiss and told me “te quiero”
i learned that those who love you will hurt you.
my mama told me not to have sex with boys
before i even knew what sex was
when the time came though, i didn’t know how to say “no”
i didn’t have sex for a long time after.
my papa told me not to fall into bad habits
but when my close friend handed me whiskey i fell in love
that was the first time i had ever known what freedom tasted like.
all of the life lessons i would ever get happened before i was 15
because despite everything
no one told me anything to prepare me for you.
i’ve spend so long being quiet, waiting until it was appropriate
i think it might be appropriate now
and if not, why is it so much easier to say “no” to you?
are you my truth or just another safe lie?
will you hurt me, like the ones i loved before you?