Let's Glow Together!

Positivity + Advice Blog for CSA + In general abuse survivors Mod Monster Anti ddlg Links

[we-glow-together]

Final announcement

It’s Mod Monster, and I’m sorry to say that I’m no longer comfortable running this blog without it’s founder. This is Mod Angel’s blog and I was happy to help, but without him I don’t feel comfortable going my own direction with it. I’ll leave this blog, and it’s inbox, open for any of you that need it, but I’m going to move on. I’m going to be making my own trauma blog and if you want it, feel free to message me @teastainedmonsters for it. This blog and the people here have been great, and have really helped me reflect on my own trauma and how I’ve handled it. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

[we-glow-together]

Final announcement

It’s Mod Monster, and I’m sorry to say that I’m no longer comfortable running this blog without it’s founder. This is Mod Angel’s blog and I was happy to help, but without him I don’t feel comfortable going my own direction with it. I’ll leave this blog, and it’s inbox, open for any of you that need it, but I’m going to move on. I’m going to be making my own trauma blog and if you want it, feel free to message me @teastainedmonsters for it. This blog and the people here have been great, and have really helped me reflect on my own trauma and how I’ve handled it. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

[we-glow-together]

Final announcement

It’s Mod Monster, and I’m sorry to say that I’m no longer comfortable running this blog without it’s founder. This is Mod Angel’s blog and I was happy to help, but without him I don’t feel comfortable going my own direction with it. I’ll leave this blog, and it’s inbox, open for any of you that need it, but I’m going to move on. I’m going to be making my own trauma blog and if you want it, feel free to message me @teastainedmonsters for it. This blog and the people here have been great, and have really helped me reflect on my own trauma and how I’ve handled it. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

[we-glow-together]

Final announcement

It's Mod Monster, and I'm sorry to say that I'm no longer comfortable running this blog without it's founder. This is Mod Angel's blog and I was happy to help, but without him I don't feel comfortable going my own direction with it. I'll leave this blog, and it's inbox, open for any of you that need it, but I'm going to move on. I'm going to be making my own trauma blog and if you want it, feel free to message me @teastainedmonsters for it. This blog and the people here have been great, and have really helped me reflect on my own trauma and how I've handled it. Thank you all for giving me this opportunity and I wish you all the best in your recovery.

[katimorton]

Hypervigilance is extreme or excessive vigilance : the state of being highly or abnormally alert to potential danger or threat. This can be caused by PTSD, anxiety or even paranoia (associated with another mental illness). It can cause us to be extremely sensitive to our surroundings, and even perceive dangers that are not real (ie. hearing a thump at night and assuming it’s someone coming to murder you versus your upstairs neighbor dropping their phone). Because this can cause us to be on high alert for long periods of time, it can be exhausting to our body and adrenal system (responsible for handling stress in the body - releasing cortisol). This can cause us to be jumpy, or even easily agitated. We can feel constantly on edge, and therefore it can make sleep very difficult. We may also find ourselves using unhealthy coping skills with more frequency. We may be drinking more often, binge eating, or zoning out in front of the tv or video game, anything to numb us out so that we don’t have to be on edge anymore. HOW CAN WE OVERCOME IT! 1. First, we have to recognize what our triggers are (practice mindfulness). And get better at recognizing early symptoms (cause everyone is different). If it’s our anxiety that’s causing us to feel this way, it could be our anticipation of someone judging us. If it’s our PTSD that’s causing these feelings it could be a loud noise or feeling trapped somewhere. Recognize what causes this feeling for you, and find ways to self soothe until the hypervigilance feeling goes away. (ie. weighted blankets, calming music, coloring, calling a friend, etc) 2. Be a detective and look for any evidence to support or deny your feeling (ie. hearing a noise and finding your keys fell off the counter will prove that it’s not a burglar). 3. Breathe and take a minute to respond, not react. Telling ourselves it’s okay to feel this way, and not letting it take complete control over our system takes practice, but can help control the symptoms. Adding in the self soothing we just talked about, you should be able to slowly get better and better at calming your system down. Assessing all that you are feeling, and knowing you have the ability to choose to not be affected by it is a new muscle we will have to work on building up. But it can help so much! Even having a plan in place for when we are triggered can help get us started. 4. See a professional! CBT, EMDR, and exposure therapy are all great options if we struggle with hypervigilance. Getting the proper diagnosis (PTSD, an anxiety disorder, or psychosis) will ensure you receive the right kind of care. EMDR is obviously best if our diagnosis is PTSD, exposure therapy works best for anxiety disorder, and CBT can work for psychosis as well as PTSD and anxiety disorders. 5. Medication! I know not everyone wants to be on medication, but if your hypervigilance comes from psychosis this needs to be part of your treatment plan. Most common medications used for this are: SSRI/SNRIs or antidepressants, beta blockers (they help calm your system down), antipsychotics, and anti anxiety medications (like lexapro, or benzodiazepines). 

[innocencelives]

the first time they touched you like that, it was abuse. the first time they hit you, it was abuse. the first time they insulted you and put you down, it was abuse. there is no degree of abuse which is more valid than another, just because someone has it worse doesnt mean they deserve recovery more than you do. you dont have to get caught up with how many times they did it or how long it went on for, the fact is it happend and there is no changing that. the concept of what is “real abuse” is a lie, its all real and its all valid.

[positiveautistic-deactivated202]

Mine

[parentless-suggestions]

i just wanna say to everyone who has bad parents/guardians in their lives: ily and i wish the best for u all. ur very important and wonderful and great 💛

[untitledorb]

i read the sentence “abusers groom their character witnesses as carefully as they groom their victims” (in a comment thread in response to a “but i know [the accused] and hes such a nice man!!”) and it’s blowing my mind a weird amount even though i guess i already knew that

[parentless-suggestions]

You will NOT end up like your abuser(s), as long as you keep an eye out for abusive behavior you will NOT end up romantically involved with someone like your abuser(s) either. You are NOT defined by your abuse, YOU decide who you are and who you associate with. You’re in control and everything is going to be okay. <3

[shitparentsclub]

This is very important to remember. For every violent outburst, emotional freak out, and each time you find yourself being what you hate, think of this.

[howilearnedtocope]

Important message:

You are not an inferior version of someone else. You are not a defective version of who you “could” have been!! You are a complete, valuable, and unique person! In fact, you are the most *you* person in the world. Good job! I love you 💕

[raychjackson]

Stop all that “you attract what you are ready for” shit. Sometimes life is just terrible. It’s not always my fault.

[clinicallydepressedpug]

“Life never gives you more than you can handle.” Yes, it does.

“People are placed in your life to teach you a valuable lesson that helps your soul on its way to enlightenment.” No, there are a just a lot of people who feel empowered when they act like assholes. We live in that kind of society.

“You keep finding yourself in the same situation because you haven’t discovered the message the universe is trying to send to you yet.”  Sometimes unpleasant things are stuck on repeat, because you have a mental or physical condition, and it is a symptom. Symptoms are like that.

“The truth always hurts.” No, it doesn’t, and what hurts often isn’t the truth, but is instead someone’s biased opinion. 

[anaxolotladay]

gaslighting does not always involve them calling you “crazy”

sometimes gaslighting is you protesting over and over, and them saying “you don’t have to make such a big deal out of it”

sometimes it’s “i really tried my best with you, but clearly i couldn’t do it”

sometimes it’s “i would never do that to you”, “if you really asked me to stop, wouldn’t i have stopped?”, “i don’t know what i’d do if i ever hurt you”

“denying and rewriting your reality” is not a one-time conversation, either. it is a sneak attack, flying under the radar and taking you out, one communication at a time, never drawing all the attention at once.

it is not your fault that you never saw it coming.

[therapy101]

The PTSD Masterpost

Posts

Flashbacks

Complex PTSD

Dissociation

The 6 categories post

PTSD Criteria & Diagnosis

The difference between PTSD & trauma

Changes to PTSD criteria in DSM-5

PTSD diagnostic criteria

What is a criterion A level trauma?

Emotional abuse part 1

Emotional abuse part 2

Non-interpersonal trauma

Do suicide attempts count as a criterion A trauma?

Trauma from serious physical illness

Challenges in diagnosing PTSD

Can I have PTSD if I don’t have flashbacks?

Paranoia

CPTSD

(see also the CPTSD post, above)

Differences between CPTSD and BPD

CPTSD treatment

The Body Keeps the Score

Can trauma cause BPD?

Trauma Severity & PTSD

What is trauma? part 1

What is trauma? part 2

Is my trauma severe enough part 1

Is my trauma severe enough part 2

Is my trauma severe enough part 3

Can I have trauma without having PTSD? part 1

Can I have trauma without having PTSD? part 2

Is neglect trauma?

How likely is it that person will get PTSD after losing a parent to suicide?

What if I have PTSD symptoms but no trauma?

Why do some people get PTSD after trauma but others don’t?

Dissociation

(see also the dissociation post, above)

Is dissociation unhealthy?

Why do some people not want to integrate their dissociative identities?

Causes of dissociation

Can you dissociate if you don’t have PTSD or trauma?

PTSD & Memory

Is the trauma memory true? part 1

Is the trauma memory true? part 2

Can I recover my trauma memory?

On repressed memories

Out of body memories

How can I have PTSD if I don’t remember my trauma?

Is it possible that I experienced trauma even though I don’t remember it?

Recovery

Is recovery possible?

Is recovery from CSA possible?

Symptom fluctuation

Treatment for PTSD

Exposure treatment part 1

Exposure treatment part 2

Exposure treatment part 3

EMDR part 1

EMDR part 2

EMDR part 3

Cognitive processing therapy

Schema therapy

Time perspective therapy

Somatic experiencing

Critical incident stress debriefing

Do I need to do CPT or exposure to heal from PTSD?

Psychedelics

Trauma informed care & cultural competence

Dissociation during treatment

PTSD & Working with Therapists

Isn’t it condescending for therapists to guide clients to their own conclusions?

Is my therapist judging me? part 1

Is my therapist judging me? part 2

Does my therapist think my trauma isn’t severe enough?

Do I have to tell my therapist specifics about my trauma? part 1

Do I have to tell my therapist specifics about my trauma? part 2

How should I tell my therapist about my trauma?

Can my therapist handle my trauma?

Can I ask my therapist if they have experienced trauma?

How do I tell my parents I have PTSD and need treatment?

Symptoms getting worse before they get better

Is it selfish to talk about trauma in therapy if my symptoms aren’t too bad?

Feeling worthless because I need help part 1

Feeling worthless because I need help part 2

Working in Mental Health

PTSD & working in mental health part 1

PTSD & working in mental health part 2

Working with perpetrators as a therapist

Preventing burn-out

Flight/flight/freeze response

PTSD & the military

Fainting during trauma

[traumasurvivors]

Hitting a bad patch doesn’t erase all your progress.  Getting better, healing and recovering are all apart of a roller-coaster journey.  The fact that you want to get better is progress in itself.  You are doing great. 

[flotsamandptsd-blog]

And remember kids, forgiving your abusers will never be a requirement of recovery.

[whatbigotspost]

Never trust someone who wants a very narrow, specific, limited, and extreme definition of what constitutes abuse.

They’re trying to make sure that something they did doesn’t count as abuse. And they’re not only trying to convince you but also probably themselves (so they can continue to sleep at night.)

Don’t let them.