Men Positivity

Hi guys deserve positivity too (mostly positivity for guys but ya know everyone is welcome)

[pro-female-vibez-deactivated202]

(OP turned into an ass so)

Me and many others are concerned about boys with mental illnesses, with eating disorders, those who are in abusive relationships and are sexual assault survivors, boys who deal with self-harming tendencies who never get the attention or care or help they deserve because people say these things “don’t happen to men” or because “all men are horrible”. I just want to make it known that if you’re a boy and you’re struggling with something hard, your gender doesn’t diminish or dismiss your struggles or make them any less significant or difficult. Men and boys can have struggles and they deserve to be helped and cared for.

We love you guys and hope you're doing well :)

[lilu-the-almighty]

This is extremely important 

[kiss-my-piss]

Resources for Male Victims of Abuse

How to Recognize Abuse

**Emotional Abuse of Men

**Sexual Assault of Men and Boys

**Men Can Be Victims of Abuse, Too

**Domestic Violence Against Men - Know the Signs

**Information for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

**Help for Battered Men

**Battered Men, Battered Husbands

**For Male Survivors of Rape and Sexual Abuse

**Male Survivors of Incest and Sexual Child Abuse

**Help for Men Who Are Being Abused

Help Lines (Phone and Text Chat)

National Domestic Violence Hotline: [phone] (or 1-800-787-3224 for TTY)

National Dating Abuse Hotline: [phone]

National Sexual Assault Hotline: [phone]

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: [phone]

Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men: 1-888-743-5754 (US and Canada)

Hopeline Suicide Prevention Hotline: [phone]

National Hotline for Victims of Crimes: 1-855-484-2846

National Human Trafficking Hotline: [phone]

Polaris Human Trafficking Text Line: Text “BEFREE” to 233733

**1in6/RAINN Chat for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Support Groups

**1in6 Support Groups

Male Survivor Support Groups

Pandora’s Aquarium - Chat (includes chats specifically for men)

Pandora’s Aquarium - Forums (includes forums specifically for men)

How to Find a Shelter

Domestic Shelters Search (shelter locator with filters to find shelters specifically for male survivors)

SAFE (located in Austin, TX, but states they can help people find resources/shelters in their area)

How to Find a Therapist

**Male Survivor Therapist Directory

Mental Health Services Locator

Resources for and About the Abuse of Kids/Teens

Love is Respect Hotline: [phone] (Hotline for teens)

Darkness to Light Helpline (Sexual Abuse): 1-866-367-5444

Darkness to Light Text Line: Text “LIGHT” to 741741

ChildHelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline: [phone]

Children of the Night Hotline (Children in Prostitution): 1-800-551-1300

National Runaway Safeline: 1-800-786-2929

Covenant House Nineline (Homeless Youth): 1-800-999-9999

Stop it Now Hotline: [phone] (for adults concerned about the welfare of a child)

Jennifer Ann’s Group (for teens experiencing dating violence)

Other Resource Lists 

(While I tried to include the most helpful resources I could here (i.e., resources that lend themselves to one-on-one communication, individual reading, etc.), there are plenty of other great resources, including regional resources, listed in these links. Some of the resources are specific to men and others aren’t, but they are all helpful for male survivors.)

**Male Survivor (regional, international, and online resources)

**Husband Battering: Men and Domestic Violence

**Help for Battered Men: Online Resources

**Help for Battered Men: National and International Resources

**Help for Guys: Help for Victims (some resources for men, many general resources)

[graduallywatermellon]

Hey so "all men are trash" posts help terfs

I'll explain if one of you want

[graduallywatermellon]

Know what fuck it explaining as soon as I get off mobile this is important and I'm pissed and I need you people to hear it

[graduallywatermellon]

so i’m trans and i have been spoon feed this shit for years

There are more, but you get the idea. If you’ve been on this website, or any website really, you’ll know just how much of everywhere this is. You can not escape it. Men are Trash and Pigs and all that good stuff.  Recently, I found “Where’d you go?” a comic by Jason Porath, the man behind the Rejected Princesses book about a nightmare he’s been having since 2016 that seems, at least a little, connected to the “All men are trash” thing. Reading this kind of made me realize something about myself; all these All men are trash posts have given me internalized transphobia. I Actively hate myself for not being cis. For giving up womanhood to join the side of evil. And it’s not like i hate any other trans people, yall are great, it’s just me, and it’s my first time really realizing what internalized transphobia feels like or means. What makes it worse is this is something TERFs what. For those (lucky) few who have avoided TERFs, they are Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists.   They hate Trans Men for betraying woman by becoming part of the problem and they hate Trans Woman for being Men “pretending” to be woman to hurt them. They’re the kind of people making all the “If we let trans woman use the right bathroom they’ll assault cis woman!!!” stuff. Trashy people who think trashy things that only hurt people. But they made me have their ideology.  So, how many people in the above screenshots are TERFs or Radfem? 3. And those are only the ones who say it on their blogs. 3 out of 5 of the screenshots are from TREFs or Redfem and these are just the first few post i saw when I searched up “All Men are Trash.” This shit is everywhere I feel awful I hate myself They won I hope you all are happy

[graduallywatermellon]

a bonus:

note is in response to this 

[graduallywatermellon]

Listen. Please share this. There are already trans guys in the notes saying this is important. Listen to us.

[graduallywatermellon]

Hate to make a long post longer but here are some important takes from the notes

[ms-demeanor]

I have a friend who is constantly racked with guilt about being attracted to women since he started transitioning because posts like this have taught him that men’s attention to women is always predatory. I have friends who are cis dudes who feel the same way. I have a transfemme friend who constantly questions whether they are actually just fetishizing women because being “socialized male” means they can never unlearn the predatory nature of their AGAB.

This sort of thinking also trains straight and bi women to expect to get treated like shit by their partners instead of believing that men are compassionate, kind, generous people who should be expected to treat their partners well.

And, not to get all “what about cis people” on this but there are young teen boys on this blogging platform who are learning that they are “trash” simply for looking at or being attracted to women and there are adult men on this platform who are  trying to turn themselves inside out to try to “make up” for their maleness and framing men as terrible, unsafe, selfish, bad people is the exact kind of gender essentialist bullshit that says all women are compassionate and good communicators and naturally maternal caregivers.

It’s crap! It’s garbage!

You can write off all cops as bad because they all looked at an abusive, corrupt system and went “I want to be a part of that.”

If you write off “men,” the type category, fifty fucking percentish of the goddamned species, as trash you’re looking at a little boy or a black father or an autistic teen or a gay pensioner or even just a totally run of the mill cis straight white dude and saying “you were born wrong.”

And you know what, for fucking YEARS I’ve been saying “feminism benefits men too” and “feminism helps everyone” and there has been this loud minority of utter fucking assholes saying that men are trash and there’s no such thing as misandry and I’ve been trying to say “yeah, okay, those people are assholes but they’re not really a huge part of the movement” and but now it seems like their shitty ideas about purity culture have crossed over to the mainstream and their shitty sex negativity has crossed over to the mainstream, and radical feminism in general and TERFs in particular are brimming with misandry that is an exact fucking mirror to the misogyny of blackpilled incels and we are very calmly letting it infect our discourse and discredit our philosophy.

ALSO all of this bullshit broadcasts and spreads the idea that women must always be protected from men (which is exactly how JK Rowling justifies her transmisogyny) which does NOTHING to accomplish the equality that feminism is nominally about.

“Men are trash” and “kill all men lol” is a memeified, gender-swapped version of Mike Fucking Pence refusing to meet with women unsupervised because they might contaminate or tempt him. 

And it *also* paves over the shitty, rapey, abusive, power imbalanced, oppressive things that women do. “If men are trash and women aren’t then clearly the abuse or sexual assault I’m suffering from my female partner must be *different* in some way because she’s not harming me through patriarchy or oppression.”

[sun-cult-son]

The "men are trash" posts are exactly how many boys/men get sucked into supremacy groups.

When young boys see those posts everywhere and start to get (rightfully) upset, the most "understanding" groups seem to be ones that are proud of being men. They're told that they're special or superior in some way and after such a blow to their confidence, they want to believe it. They're told to read books written by women exposing how "manipulative" women are. It becomes an obsession and that pride becomes rampant misogyny.

You are helping to create the problem. You are kicking a dog and yelling "I told you so!" when it bites.

[krakkenchaos]

Also, this isn't something you can just log off and escape from. It's just as pervasive in person as on the internet.

[juicylights]

THANK YOU for having this discussion. I’ve felt a general unwelcome within modern progressive feminist circles, but I couldn’t quite place it. Glad to hear men aren’t absolutely abhorred in most circles, just some.

[adhbabey]

I check ppl who reblog my posts all the time, I wanna see their tags! But I'll often scroll down and find other posts.

And if I find a post like this, like "men suck" or whatever, you bet your ass I'm worried, that I'm scared. That I'm cautious and afraid you're a terf because that behavior is harmful.

I'm a feminist, but sometimes I see posts about people ranting about women getting hurt and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Because that sounds like what terfs say all the time. They act like women are the victim of everything. When they're not. They still have autonomy and still can hurt others.

So if you post stuff like this, I'm cautious of you. Because I know that mentality hurts so much. It causes so much pain.

So just a forewarning, just as a friendly reminder, men are not your enemy, trans people are not your enemy, oppressors and abusers are.

[december-rains]

My mother has outright and repetitively told me that my being transmasc was betraying women and betraying feminism and that I couldn't call myself a feminist or anything like that unless I gave up my own identity. She tells me still that my very existence is sexist. So yeah, this shit fucking hurts people.

[thisisctrying]

Gosh I hate grind culture. My little sister just started medical school and all of her orientation leaders are like “you absolutely cannot have a life WHATsoever you WILL have to give up EVERYTHING besides this program say GOODBYE to your hobbies and relationships” and now she’s calling me feeling guilty for running and going to the grocery store and that’s just WRONG! And that is exactly what I was told starting law school as well, and rejecting that mentality was the best thing I ever did but it was so hard not to buy into. Anyway if any of you are in an intense academic program PLEASE take time to sleep and eat and exercise and maintain your relationships and keep up your hobbies! you are not a robot who exists solely to study and I promise that living a life and staying physically and mentally healthy is not going to make you fail

[carnivorousnymph]

Workaholism is not just a “millennial quirk”, it’s a very real psychological problem that should not be normalized and praised. Diligence and self-realization? Awesome!!! Working so much you forget to eat, sleep and socialize? Not okay under any circumstances.

[we-love-the-men]

Just a friendly reminder everyone should see

[invertedgender]

Men are using a powerful hashtag to fight back against emotional abuse

According to NCADV, 4 in 10 people have experienced some kind of coercive control from an intimate partner. Sadly, #MaybeSheDoesntHitYou is raising much-needed awareness for a widespread problem.

[faded-doll-hi]

This is disgusting. It really is. I hope that people gain awareness of this issue and their own situation and I really hope that we all find better.

[acruelgentleman-deactivated2018]

I appreciate the hell out of the women reblogging this. As a survivor of such emotional abuse, I know it’s vital for men to step forward and talk about their experiences. The old “man up” narrative needs to die. 

[misshorrorotaku-deactivated2024]

It disgusts me that there are people in this world who will look at this and say it’s not abuse because the victim was a man, or they’ll try and say it doesn’t deserve to be recognized because physical abuse is “worse.”

[bizarrolord-deactivated20241123]

In my personal experience, emotional abuse tended to be worse because at least I knew when physical abuse was happening and not have to guess at when someone was actually being decent to me.

[sunnydaze-05-deactivated2022062]

A family friend endured a lot of emotional as well as physical abuse from his wife before he finally got the guts to divorce her, but I can’t imagine what it was like for him.

Spread this shit. Help men know that they aren’t weak for being abused by their partners.

[depp-could-get-it]

Tumblr deleted my long ass rant while I was in the middle of writing it so you’re spared and will only get a summed up version

Long story short; your abs are supposed to be covered with a healthy, protective layer of fat. The shape Jason Momoa is in during his movies is achieved by a diet designed to lower his body fat to unhealthy numbers, dehydrating him and enhancing his abs with make up. This is what ripped, muscular, healthy person looks like on their off time. If you think this is a dad bod, for the love of everything that is holy, shut up and absolutely never comment on a man’s body ever again. I mean hell, you can still see his damn v-line, what fucking dad bod has that?!

Don’t believe me? Google some bodybuilders who are off their contest diet. The men who literally make a living for having defined muscles. For 360 days a year, they do not look like the way you think they do. During a bodybuilding contest, these men’s body fat is under 7%, they’re dehydeated and covered in fake tan that helps the muscles show up. And it’s literally only for that day, because it’s extremely unhealthy. Same goes for actors who are known for being ripped - they’re at their worst when they’re filming. This exact same shit happened with Vin Diesel few years ago with people getting a paparazzi shot of his “beer belly” and I’m genuinely worried of the young men who grow up in this society thinking being muscular means having defined abs 24/7.

Jason Momoa looks ripped and healthy, yall are just blind with unrealistic standards.

[profeminist]

“This is what actors (& models & bodybuilders) do. If you see them with razor cut abs, they have been on a low carb, water-reducing diet to get there. You cannot retain that and be healthy. When we shot WOLVES, Jason asked me, “Do I have to have abs n’ shit for this?” I said no.”

-  David Hayter, director, Wolves

“The wood chopping scene in The Wolverine was all the footage they could get before Hugh Jackman passed out from dehydration. Dehydration and steroids are the big secret behind Hollywood muscle definition.”

-  My name is Grant‏

“Yeah there was a huge piece a few years ago about the prevalence of doping in the aftermath of Dark Knight (roughly), it became an arms race of every male actor going on roids for definition. Compare Jackman in XMen 1 from 2000 to him in Logan, for example.”

-  Kuff ‘n’ Klout

“The Hollywood roid phenomenon in one picture”

-  Kuff ‘n’ Klout‏

“The Guest” movie - 

[tatzelwyrm]

I like how they call starvation and dehydration a “trick” :)))))))))

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I KNOW. Fucking killed me. “There’s this neat trick where we encourage disordered eating and dehydration. That’s what bodies should look like!!! This is the Norm!!”

[bogleech]

Wait so that text wasn’t from a criticism of abusive practices?? It was just “here’s how we did this neat-O special effect!!!!!” ???!???

[maid-of-timey-wimey]

This is the male equivalent of “magazine cover models are all airbrushed and/or starving” and needs to be spread just as much.

[i-rathernot-say]

The beauty standards of the patriarchy are fucking trash. Jason still looks great. And I hope guys aren’t looking to meet this impossible standard.

[brunhiddensmusings]

always have in the back of your mind- all the men who look at his body and think ‘i could never look that good’ then hearing people lambast that unobtainable body as ‘letting himself go’ how do they now feel about themselves

[we-love-the-men]

@men if you’re ashamed of your body because of Hollywood and such standards, know that those bodies are unhealthy and damaging, and we hope you DON’T look like that!

[we-love-the-men]

[twitblr]

Putting forward what you didn’t have

[lookingthroughthewater]

The face of a hero

[yukineko-kitty-chan]

Here’s a quick link for those of you who don’t feel up to hunting it down right now 

[boy-ish-positivity]

@boys&men who are struggling a lot with the male gender role:

it’s okay if you’re bad at expressing emotions! it’s okay if even naming emotions is hard!

it’s okay if toxic masculinity gets to you! that shit is hard to ignore & unlearn!

you’re doing your best :)

[sunlitsuggestions]

your friends love you, you are not a burden, you don’t weigh them down, they chose you

[ryrythescienceguy]

don’t just let boys be feminine. Let MEN be feminine. Grown-ass men. Hairy, fat, old, muscular, unattractive, disabled, etc.

The ones that aren’t young, thin, hairless, conventionally attractive twinks. Let them be feminine too.

Without making it weird and fetish-ey, for fuck’s sake. Think y’all can manage that?

[gay-irl]

gay_irl

[yourdadsghoulfriend]

I knew the meme format and was about to throw hands until I read the last line

[curlsandstems]

Have you ever seen a violinist going APESHIT?!

Be sure to check out IAmDSharp!

[thegreynightsky]

GO OFFF

[babydollbucky]

Ok so I’ve been playing for 18 years and i’m a string teacher. Can i just say how IMPORTANT it is for young kids to see a BLACK, MALE-PRESENTING PERSON playing, nae, SHREDDING on a violin? I’ve know maybe 5 black people who played stringed instruments throughout my schooling and teaching (predumably because i’m an upper middle class white woman). In districts where the population is predominantly black, funding is always low, so the instruments are crappy. Kids quit, or the program is dismantled. I’ve seen very few professional string players who are black.

Obviously there are black string players. We just don’t see them because they “don’t look like” string players.

This person is the real deal. They were clearly trained, and seems to have some fiddle training as well. How cool is that?

[r4t-k1ng]

Reasons fat/chubby boys are gr8:

There’s no such thing as a bad hug

Big belly = Big pillow

Snuggling is really soft and warm

Pudge of all quantities is cute as fuck

Did I mention belly pillow

Stretch marks, which are beautiful and strong <3

Good at being both the big spoon or little spoon

BIG BELLY

[we-love-the-men]

Pls let urself feel things boys

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you’re allowed to get up one day and just decide to change who you are. dress differently, speak up more, laugh out loud even though you’ve never liked your laugh, say what you want to, say hey to people you wouldn’t normally, get that confidence going. we don’t have to stay the way people see us out of the fear that they won’t like the us we want to be.

[dankmemeuniversity]