noah reid • i call this guy bobby • schitt's creek • shane and ilya • a smattering of other fandoms • hockey obsessed • reader of all the things • writer of some of the things
A master list of all my soft and silly little stories!
weathereyehorizon on AO3.
Heated Rivalry / Game Changers Universe
i came to win, to fight rated T, 1252 words
Shane has his first NHL fight.
it's time to play nice T, 1073 words
Three weeks is too fucking long.
kiss it better baby E, 3879 words
Shane and Ilya present at the NHL awards followed by an unforgettable night in a Vegas hotel suite. All is not as it seems.
or
My take on we didn't even kiss
No Teasing, You Waited Long Enough rated E, 100 words
Shane is bad at being gay. Ilya loves to tease his husband.
When You Hold Me, I'm Alive rated E, 3023 words
A couple of years ago he’d told Shane, as casually as possible, that if he wanted to have sex with other men when they were apart—which was most of the time—he could. ~The Long Game
David meets up with Patrick, his barterswap match and almost immediately feels off balance. Neither of them seem to know what the hell is going on. But David does know he likes him.
Under Summer Skies rated T, 4988 words
Patrick Brewer is Toronto's newest starting catcher. He's cocky, confident and looking to lead the Jays to a World Series. If only he can keep his eyes out of the stands and his head in the game.
If I Could Melt Your Heart rated T, 2360 words
David had just completed the combination spin Ronnie had wanted him to work on, when he registered a low whistle from across the rink. He wobbled for a moment looking around to try to find where the unwelcome interruption had come from. David narrowed his eyes when he spotted someone at the far entrance.
.........
Codas, Fix-Its & Canon Compliant
You Might Say I'm Here for You rated G, 3260
Patrick and David take a weekend trip to The Brewers, prior to the wedding. Patrick and Clint have some important conversations and Clint witnesses his son's happiness first hand.
Or
5 questions Patrick doesn't ask Clint and one that he does
Bein' a Villain, for a While rated T, 5970 words
Patrick wasn't at his best supportive button self during Love Letters. David and Stevie, though hilarious, weren't exactly at their best either. What if everyone had responded differently?
.........
Crack & Funnies
Ernesto rated T, 1675 words
The neighbourhood kids have a lot of questions about who is delivering pizza to David and Patrick’s cottage.
Firefly rated T, 2675 words
It's Patrick's day, and they're doing what Patrick wants. David surprises Patrick with a trip to the local fire hall for his birthday. Stevie tags along and is about as helpful as you would expect. Lots of hot fire fighter thirsting and innuendo ensues.
I Don't Know How It Happened But I'm All Shook Up rated T, 965 words
Patrick attempts to have a quiet moment in the kitchen with his husband.
She Sees You When You're Sleeping (with your husband) rated E, 2478 words
5 times Marcy walks in on the boys and 1 time she doesn't - Holiday edition
Sneakers & Cookies rated M, 1119 words
David is very upset over something "terrible" that Patrick has done. Stevie never helps.
I Had My Reservations About Banana rated T, 1018 words
Fic Tropes Bot Prompt: David Rose and Patrick Brewer sensually eat bananas in Texas because there was only one bed.
.........
Epistolary Fics
I'm Gonna Be With You Right Here 'Til the Very End rated T, 916
A fluffy, texting-only fic where Patrick makes everything okay.
Ray Butani: Undercover Matchmaker rated G, 1784 words
It was no coincidence that Patrick took that fateful B13 appointment, but rather an expertly executed plan by Ray Butani: Schitt's Creek’s Undercover Matchmaker.
.........
Fluff & Smutt
What Kind of People Are Afraid of the Rain? rated E, 4277
Stevie helps these idiots figure out their feelings and Patrick is wet for the entirety of this fic.
Let Me Count the Ways rated M, 1690 words
David Rose doesn't say “I love you”. Except for that one time…and those couple of other times. But, by and large, David Rose doesn't say “I love you”.
It's Bedtime David rated E, 2077 words
Neither of them liked to go to bed without the other, but some nights when David was ready earlier, and Patrick was particularly restless, they would adjust their typical routine to accommodate. On those occasions, Patrick always took care of his husband before continuing with his evening endeavours.
Without a Glare but with a Smile rated T, 1005 words
David has a gift for Patrick and it doesn't go over the way he thinks it will.
.........
Song Fics
What a Good Boy rated T, 1029 words
Patrick reflects on his love for David, and what it means to be a good man.
Good Enough rated M, 1936 words
Sebastien Raine visits Schitt's Creek on the same day as Open Mic Night at the Apothecary.
.........
Stevie & Patrick are Buds Series
Happy Hour is Here G, 1190
Stevie is still figuring out David’s new business partner but she’s learned a few things: how much he loves baseball, that Ronnie is going to be his enemy for life, and what his preferences are. The only question is whether some other guy is going to catch Patrick’s eye before David does.
It's Always Who You Least Eggspect rated G, 297 words
Stevie talks Patrick into some petty crime.
Welcome To The Party, Pal rated M, 1626 words
Patrick and Stevie spend Christmas Eve together after the Rose's Christmas Party.
In the Meantime rated T, 1249 words
Stevie gets dropped off at Patrick's apartment after the Hospies.
Looking Good and Feeling Fine rated T, 486 words
Stevie and Patrick return to the motel after a couple of drinks.
Can't Make the Same Mistake This Time rated E, 1097 words
They’re too old for this shit, he knows but the animosity between the Abbotts and the Tillersons runs deep, and they’ve all accepted it as the natural order of things. Billy and he are the exception. They are drawn to each other inescapably, as surely as the rest of them seem to repel each other.
There's Peace, I'm Sure rated E, 1629 words
Rhett pays Billy a visit following Trevor's funeral.
hey old Schitt's Creek pals, have you seen any old SC folks writing Heated Rivalry fic? I'm not so interested in HR fic but I will be interested if SC writers hit the scene
the concept of britpicking fics, but for hockey. hockeypicking heated rivalry fics.
like what do you mean by "match"? what do you mean by handshake lines after regular season games? what do you mean the game ended in a tie? why are they scoring so many goals? goalie said fuck it and left?
I know he’s like a hot rich pro athlete that could land anyone but I’m still screaming at the fact Shane had no fewer than five people hanging off his every word last ep. Rose, Miles, the bartender, Hayden (I’m right) all down bad for a guy that canonically Does Not Know how to hold a baby. Ilya “you’re boring” Rozanov undergoing levels of psychological torment banned by the Geneva conventions for a man that wears a plain white t-shirt to the club. Boy is absolutely dripping with autistic rizz and is too repressed to know it. Me and the bad bitches I pulled by being well-mannered and Canadian.
hey old Schitt's Creek pals, have you seen any old SC folks writing Heated Rivalry fic? I'm not so interested in HR fic but I will be interested if SC writers hit the scene
A master list of all my soft and silly little stories!
weathereyehorizon on AO3.
Heated Rivalry / Game Changers Universe
i came to win, to fight rated T, 1252 words
Shane has his first NHL fight.
it's time to play nice T, 1073 words
Three weeks is too fucking long.
kiss it better baby E, 3879 words
Shane and Ilya present at the NHL awards followed by an unforgettable night in a Vegas hotel suite. All is not as it seems.
or
My take on we didn't even kiss
No Teasing, You Waited Long Enough rated E, 100 words
Shane is bad at being gay. Ilya loves to tease his husband.
When You Hold Me, I'm Alive rated E, 3023 words
A couple of years ago he’d told Shane, as casually as possible, that if he wanted to have sex with other men when they were apart—which was most of the time—he could. ~The Long Game
David meets up with Patrick, his barterswap match and almost immediately feels off balance. Neither of them seem to know what the hell is going on. But David does know he likes him.
Under Summer Skies rated T, 4988 words
Patrick Brewer is Toronto's newest starting catcher. He's cocky, confident and looking to lead the Jays to a World Series. If only he can keep his eyes out of the stands and his head in the game.
If I Could Melt Your Heart rated T, 2360 words
David had just completed the combination spin Ronnie had wanted him to work on, when he registered a low whistle from across the rink. He wobbled for a moment looking around to try to find where the unwelcome interruption had come from. David narrowed his eyes when he spotted someone at the far entrance.
.........
Codas, Fix-Its & Canon Compliant
You Might Say I'm Here for You rated G, 3260
Patrick and David take a weekend trip to The Brewers, prior to the wedding. Patrick and Clint have some important conversations and Clint witnesses his son's happiness first hand.
Or
5 questions Patrick doesn't ask Clint and one that he does
Bein' a Villain, for a While rated T, 5970 words
Patrick wasn't at his best supportive button self during Love Letters. David and Stevie, though hilarious, weren't exactly at their best either. What if everyone had responded differently?
.........
Crack & Funnies
Ernesto rated T, 1675 words
The neighbourhood kids have a lot of questions about who is delivering pizza to David and Patrick’s cottage.
Firefly rated T, 2675 words
It's Patrick's day, and they're doing what Patrick wants. David surprises Patrick with a trip to the local fire hall for his birthday. Stevie tags along and is about as helpful as you would expect. Lots of hot fire fighter thirsting and innuendo ensues.
I Don't Know How It Happened But I'm All Shook Up rated T, 965 words
Patrick attempts to have a quiet moment in the kitchen with his husband.
She Sees You When You're Sleeping (with your husband) rated E, 2478 words
5 times Marcy walks in on the boys and 1 time she doesn't - Holiday edition
Sneakers & Cookies rated M, 1119 words
David is very upset over something "terrible" that Patrick has done. Stevie never helps.
I Had My Reservations About Banana rated T, 1018 words
Fic Tropes Bot Prompt: David Rose and Patrick Brewer sensually eat bananas in Texas because there was only one bed.
.........
Epistolary Fics
I'm Gonna Be With You Right Here 'Til the Very End rated T, 916
A fluffy, texting-only fic where Patrick makes everything okay.
Ray Butani: Undercover Matchmaker rated G, 1784 words
It was no coincidence that Patrick took that fateful B13 appointment, but rather an expertly executed plan by Ray Butani: Schitt's Creek’s Undercover Matchmaker.
.........
Fluff & Smutt
What Kind of People Are Afraid of the Rain? rated E, 4277
Stevie helps these idiots figure out their feelings and Patrick is wet for the entirety of this fic.
Let Me Count the Ways rated M, 1690 words
David Rose doesn't say “I love you”. Except for that one time…and those couple of other times. But, by and large, David Rose doesn't say “I love you”.
It's Bedtime David rated E, 2077 words
Neither of them liked to go to bed without the other, but some nights when David was ready earlier, and Patrick was particularly restless, they would adjust their typical routine to accommodate. On those occasions, Patrick always took care of his husband before continuing with his evening endeavours.
Without a Glare but with a Smile rated T, 1005 words
David has a gift for Patrick and it doesn't go over the way he thinks it will.
.........
Song Fics
What a Good Boy rated T, 1029 words
Patrick reflects on his love for David, and what it means to be a good man.
Good Enough rated M, 1936 words
Sebastien Raine visits Schitt's Creek on the same day as Open Mic Night at the Apothecary.
.........
Stevie & Patrick are Buds Series
Happy Hour is Here G, 1190
Stevie is still figuring out David’s new business partner but she’s learned a few things: how much he loves baseball, that Ronnie is going to be his enemy for life, and what his preferences are. The only question is whether some other guy is going to catch Patrick’s eye before David does.
It's Always Who You Least Eggspect rated G, 297 words
Stevie talks Patrick into some petty crime.
Welcome To The Party, Pal rated M, 1626 words
Patrick and Stevie spend Christmas Eve together after the Rose's Christmas Party.
In the Meantime rated T, 1249 words
Stevie gets dropped off at Patrick's apartment after the Hospies.
Looking Good and Feeling Fine rated T, 486 words
Stevie and Patrick return to the motel after a couple of drinks.
Can't Make the Same Mistake This Time rated E, 1097 words
They’re too old for this shit, he knows but the animosity between the Abbotts and the Tillersons runs deep, and they’ve all accepted it as the natural order of things. Billy and he are the exception. They are drawn to each other inescapably, as surely as the rest of them seem to repel each other.
There's Peace, I'm Sure rated E, 1629 words
Rhett pays Billy a visit following Trevor's funeral.
Ilya had once told Shane that he catalogued each of their kisses back in those days. Especially the ones leading up to his long miserable summers in Russia. He filed each one away in his amygdala rolodex so he could pull them up as needed to get him through the hours, days, and months until he could have Shane’s mouth again. It still made Shane sad to think about how alone Ilya must have felt and how clueless he had been to not pick up on the subtle clues Ilya had been giving him all along. But they couldn’t go back and rewrite their history, nor would Shane want to. Instead, he made sure to be extra generous with his affection and especially his kisses: a million memories that Ilya would never have to file away or hoard only to be called upon during the hard days. Because, Shane would be there for all the hard days and the easy days and all the ones in between. And he was going to kiss Ilya Rozanov on every single one of those days because he fucking could.
