This is a hatepost for Klaus the shark.
So, letâs get started with how bosses USUALLY function in Dave the diver. Typically, theyâre big and slow moving with telegraphed attacks that cause some environmental hazard. NOT FUCKING KLAUS.
Klaus, being a great white shark and, by proxy, an asshole, decided âfuk yo lifeâ and IS the environmental hazard. Heâs one of the most mobile enemies in the game and does DUMMY damage when he hit you with a bite or if you even touch him because, guess what! Just TOUCHING a hostile creature deals damage. Klaus doesnât even need to attack you to kill you! He can:
Move towards you at an idle pace(idle for him)
Float annoyingly around the ONE air tank the fight gives you so you drown
Move you inside him so he hits you, waits out your invincibility frames, and hit you AGAIN
Flip ACROSS THE Z-AXIS WHILE FACING YOU, SO HIS FAT SHARK ASS IS SUDDENLY IN YOUR FACE
And about his attacks, letâs get to them. He has
a basic charge from a distance, which might be dodgable if he wasnât the size of the iceberg that sunk the fucking Titanic
Those fuckass whirlpools that sweep across the screen horizontally
A bite where he moves FOWARD, lifts his head UP, and bites DOWN, leaving you with NOWHERE to dodge if youâre even a hair too close which, by the way, you HAVE to stay close because 2/3 of the damaging weapons in this game have such a short range that I could legitimately piss farther and the only one that DOES have range has a three shots before youâre stuck with the fucking harpoon for damage
This fuckass cartilage filled thundercunt is such a pain in the ass that heâs up there with NIGHTMARE KING GRIMM and INNER AGENT 3 as bosses that legitimately made me rage and have to take a break for several hours. And mind you, I have a GOOD weapon, tier three rifle if youâre curious, and it STILL sucks. This fat bastard is gonna be the centerpiece for Shark Party and Iâll make SURE every last bit of him gets eaten
Not really sure how to end this, so uh. Yeah
