Xuebing Du
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosmic Funnies
JVL
art blog(derogatory)
RMH
ellievsbear
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
pixel skylines
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sweet Seals For You, Always
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
trying on a metaphor
PR's Tumblrdome
$LAYYYTER
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⁂
Claire Keane
occasionally subtle
#extradirty
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@wecomeinmeow
The thing with growing up with domestic trauma in a religious household is you kinda start going down very deep and dark trains of thought that you... probably shouldn't be boarding at the age of 11 in the first place. But there i was:
The fact that god is in everything, sees everything and is everywhere could, in that 11 year old's head, mean one of two things. Or both.
Either what god saw wasn't that big of a deal.
Or...
I deserved it.
I've been told my friendships are one of my biggest strengths
So why the Fuck
Is it hard again
To turn to whomever I need to
And why the fuck is it
That by the time I muster the fucking courage to approach someone
They let me down every fucking time.
And why the Fuck
Did I expect anything different?
I should know better by now.
Maybe if I become the evil bitch you think I am I'll actually get something out of it other than the heartbreak of being called an evil bitch by you.
Nah, Im not tryig to threaten you.
Im not trying to be some gallant fucjung knight
Im just trying to offer to take out the garbage
Because you keep making it evident every fucking day that that's what I am to you
That i stink up the house just by fucking existing
That you dont want me here
So no its not a threat
Its a fucking favor.
To you and me both.
pizza head doodles :]
i love logging in from a new device and receiving an email about it makes me feel like i'm trying to enter some vip fancy building and when they stop me at security i go "actually... I Own The Place"
"That's the Pizza Tower tutorial song." "No, it's a traditional Italian folk song." No, it's literally a 140-year-old meme – "Funiculì, Funiculà" was written in 1880, as a joke, to commemorate the opening of a tourist attraction at Mount Vesuvius. (The tourist attraction was later destroyed by a volcanic eruption.) Go ahead and rewrite the lyrics to be about sticking your dick in a pizza – there is nothing you can do with this song that's more ridiculous than its original context.
#oh my god #how can it be funnier in the original context than #the pizza on my cock one (via @profiction-monika)
The original Neapolitan lyrics are about a young man inviting his girlfriend to come ride a cable-car up the side of a mountain. And up, and down, and up, and down, and up, and down, and... well, it's not just about the cable-car, is what I mean to say.
"Haha, funny pizza tower joke, David. Let's learn what guiseppe's all about. Hey wiki, who's Guiseppe Turco?"
"Do you mean Peppino Turco?"
"No, I mean- wh- Oh This Was Not A Joke That David Was Pulling On Us"
There's genuinely nothing I could make up about this song that's sillier than its real history. Very Serious Composers have on multiple unconnected occasions mistaken this advertising-jingle-slash-dick-joke for a traditional Neapolitan folk song and incorporated it into their Very Serious Compositions. Richard Strauss actually got sued over it.
Here's a wild take. Can we,,,not treat sick, mentally ill or disabled people like they're assholes for having this thing that the definitely didnt fucking ask for? Cuz I'd honestly rather be fucking lobotomized than have to hear one more time how annoying it is to take care of me. It would be pretty effective at solving both of our problems.
d-d-d-danciNG PARTNER??????? ✨ 👀✨
food
Me: *having a mental breakdown at 3 am*
My foryou page: "hey wanna learn how to tie a fuckin noose well here you go"
Reblog and search your favorite game and add the first gif that pops up
Starbucks funded the police in Atlanta so here’s their recipes
do you have a link to the images cause they’re a little small and compressed
Here’s the tweet I got it from
If your partner feels threatened when you want alone time: RUN.
thats creepy
This applies to you boys too- if your girlfriend won’t let you hang out with your friends, RUN
No matter what gender you or your partner are, if they refuse to let you spend any time with your friends that’s a big sign of danger.
GUESS WHAT MY EX BELIEVED 🙃🙃🙃
Last time I reblogged this I lost ten followers, someone I liked blocked me, and I got hate mail in my inbox for several days. Let’s see what happens this time.
Abuse begins with insecurity
My ex wouldn’t even accept a ride from my friend who offered to drive us home in the pouring Orlando rain and instead forced us to walk 12 minutes in the rain, soaking my only pair of work shoes and giving me a cold. FUCKING RED FLAGS
Me: doot doot doot doot *reblogs this* doot doot doot *reblogs this again* doot-
