what the h

[hazy-october]

[c-bassmeow]

me: im tired 

Someone in walmart: NOT as tired as our TROOPS! 

[reallyabitch]

my emergency survival kit is just gonna be a dog. maybe a bandaid.

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

i was boiling some small potatoes on the stove and i pierced one with my fork to see if it was done and it made a very distinct “ummm?” sound. as if i was bothering it. and now i feel like i should just leave them be

[groovyhobo]

Potatozoned wtf the fuck

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

*tips my spudora* p’taty

[cecile-dormeau]

[sleepythug]

*chef kiss*

[iguanamouth]

if u coulf chnge ur name what would u change it to

fourty exclamation points in a row and it is pronounced like a person screaming

[heidelbro]

berries in the fridge be like what if we had a sexy little fur coat 

[storybookprincess]

suddenly remembered this poem as i was making breakfast this morning & frantically googled “poem remembered to buy eggs?????????” & somehow managed to find it & it utterly knocked the wind out of me just as much as when i first read it

[drakomalfoyyy-deactivated202006]

what do u mean i don’t have a social life I just went grocery shopping with my mom

[sonypraystation]

saying my name is so intimate why would you do that to me

[altemo3]

It’s just roll call bro

[toastbutteregg]

[one-time-i-dreamt]

WHAT

[storyop1]

[lgbtsoundsystem]

are you fucking kidding me

[the-skeleton-queen]

its him

its mash potato

[memeuplift]

[shoroukalgemaey]

[pizzahutofficial]

something about that eye. that eye and the way his wet skin rolls. hes staring into my soul. 

[westernlariat]

pretty sure my soulmate is a bag of sour gummy worms

[armorgan66]

I just ate a whole bag of those, no joke

[westernlariat]

u piece of fucking shit that was the love of my life