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@wellhungspeaker
Guy who didnt satisfy his partner during sex cryign and punching himself in the balls going STUPID STUPID STUPID!!
aftermath of Thanksgiving at the castle
If yall need a sad here ya go, picture this:
Columbia is chilling in her room with Magenta and Rocky (who they were roped into watching) when Rocky picks up Eddie's saxophone. Columbia starts freaking out because that's one of her most prized possessions after Eddie died. Columbia tries to take it away but somehow Rocky manages to play a note.
Magenta offhandedly mentions that "Well, he does have half of Eddie's brain."
And poor Columbia, who didn't know up until this point, looks at her teary-eyed and goes "...He does?"
For the next few days Columbia just cries uncontrollably when she sees Rocky. Frank does not care by the way.
Rose Tint My World… 🩷
The single most embarrassing thing I can imagine— besides fumbling fucking Janet— is being cheated on by BRADDDDDD lmao
well guess who lied about doing that essay. yeah that shit is getting done in the middle of the night tonight because i had to go to the full dress rehearsal for the show im on makeup crew for (it was amazing btw) but it’s 11:00 now.
but i’m trying out a new method of motivating myself to do literally anything at all so i’ll probably start working on that fun little hypothetical rhps live show breakdown i mentioned in my previous post. no promises because it’s me but yknow
i have to write ANOTHER essay (are they trying to kill me or something) but this one’s only five or so paragraphs and no minimum word count, plus the profs not a picky grader, so i think i’ll be alright knocking this all out tonight.
after im done, im ACTUALLY going to try an write some rocky horror fanfic. or maybe in between stuff to keep to my brain juices flowing, who knows. but im going to put in a concerted effort and you can quote me on it.
also totally random aside but i might start posting stuff about like… the hypothetical rhps live show production i have created in my head because i do that whenever i listen to musicals—i just direct an entire production in my head in excruciating detail. i know no one cares about that but i want to tell SOMEONE about it because it’s been eating my brain for way too long and i love making really detailed stuff for no reason
anyways i’m gonna go write an essay
Chat if I were to make another goofy Rocky Horror fic of the gang attempting a normal public outing where should i write them going
WHERE
IKEA
Chuck E Cheese
Some sort of broadway show/play/movie
Just throw them in times square
Escape room
Secret 6th option (EXPLAIN)
i, personally, advocate for the times square option, because i am firmly of the belief that times square is a circle of hell and i would love to see my favorite freaks be put through it.
this is about procrastinating. or executive dysfunction. i think
some twin doodles from today!!!
Here's the entirety of the grocery store Rocky Horror fic because I feel like it belongs on this app
(Also @bradassholemajors asked me to post it sooo...)
-
"Frank, I really don't think this is necessary."
Frank dramatically flicked his hand, lowering his sunglasses to see the face of a very uncomfortable Columbia. "Well, you are the one who was complaining about our choice of food. I'm just trying to stop your incessant whining."
"Meatloaf every single night is a bit excessive, is all! And I meant your outfit."
Frank scoffed. "I'm just trying to look presentable."
"...We're going to a Price Chopper." Janet said softly.
"And?" Frank challenged.
"And you're wearing 9 in heels, a corset, enough jewlery to put a Victorian child into a coma, and fishnets." Brad said flatly, pulling out his wallet.
"So? At least I look good. You look like you work at the price chopper." Frank retorted.
“We’re here.” Riffraff sighed, pulling the car over. “Please, just get out.”
“Thank you.” Frank smiled. “Remember, I expect the whole castle to be clean and dinner to be made when we get back.”
“You’ve told us enough times.” Magenta sighed, helping Frank out.
“Clearly not- not if you’re still complaining.” Frank rolled his eyes, stepping out of the car and dragging Brad with him.
“...Rocky and I are going to go look for some uh- bottled water! Yeah.” Brad announced, promptly sprinting off with Rocky on his heels, casting an apologetic look at Janet.
“I’m gonna go with him!” Columbia added, sprinting after the two of them.
“I guess it’s just you and me, Weiss.” Frank smirked, putting a hand around Janet’s waist. His hand was promptly swatted off.
“Unfortunately.” Janet muttered, walking inside. She pretended to look at a front display of something she didn’t want, nor did she need.
“Oh, lighten up. Brad told me you love shopping.” Frank hummed, walking into an aisle. “Ooh, this looks good! It looks like that sports drink Brad gave to Rocky… gatorade, or something?” He asked, picking up a bottle with neon blue liquid.
“...Frank, that’s windex.” Janet replied, mortified.
“Windex… I’ve never heard of it.” He shrugged, tossing it in the cart.
“Frank, you- you’ll get poisoned if you drink that.”
“Ohhh! Relax, dear, human alcohol doesn’t affect me.”
“No-” Janet sighed, putting the Windex back. “It’s a cleaning product, Frank. For windows and stuff.”
“Oh.” Frank shrugged, putting it back in the cart. “Well, that’s a gift for Magenta, then.”
“Isn’t it rude to give her-”
“Nonsense. She needs it.” Frank sighed. “Oh, Rocky would get it. I don’t know why he likes you of all people.”
“I don’t know why Brad likes you of all people.”
“And why is that? Everyone likes me!” Frank replied over his shoulder, looking at nail polish.
“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” Janet spat. “I’m gonna go find my fiance.”
“You still have one of those?” Frank crossed his arms.
“Just help me find Brad!” Janet snapped, marching off.
“The sign says bottled water is the other way!” Frank called after her.
“I’LL WORK MY WAY AROUND TO IT!” Janet shouted back.
Frank shrugged and walked towards the water. He regretted it instantly when he saw Rocky on the floor, flailing his arms and having a tantrum like a literal toddler.
“...He wanted a chocolate bar.” Columbia explained.
“No way. He knows he isn't allowed.” Frank snapped quickly. He seemed to instantly regret his words when Rocky screamed louder and threw a chocolate bar at him. “...Oh, my.”
“What do we do?!” Columbia asked, panicked.
“Uh- Brad will handle it!” Frank announced, pushing Brad forward.
“WHY ME?!”
“BECAUSE YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS!”
“Just let him have the damn chocolate bar!”
“No! He's only allowed to eat-”
“DUCK!” Columbia shrieked as another chocolate bar flew at them.
“Please, Frank, just let him have it!” Brad begged.
“...Fine! Fine, he can have one! Just make him stop!”
“I heard yelling!” Janet ran into the aisle.
Columbia crossed her arms. “Well, no shit.”
“Here, Rocky, you can have it.” Brad timidly offered Rocky a chocolate bar, as if he was afraid of him. Rocky instantly stopped yelling and everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
The relief was short-lived as Frank took it back. “...But we have to pay for it first.”
Rocky instantly started screaming again. Columbia covered her ears. “SHIT!”
“GODDAMMIT FRANK, YOU COULDN'T HAVE LET HIM HOLD IT?!” Brad yelled, taking it back and returning it to Rocky.
“But he can't eat it yet!”
“HE KNOWS THAT!”
“It's okay, Rocky…” Janet said softly, kneeling down to him. “You can hold it.”
“You all sicken me.” Frank scoffed. “I'm finding some actual food for him.”
“I'll go too. To make sure he actually buys food.” Brad announced, walking off behind Frank.
“He almost drank Windex.” Janet explained softly.
“...Sometimes I wonder what I see in him.” Columbia confessed, picking up one of the chocolates from the floor and putting it back on the shelf.
“Sometimes I wonder what Brad sees in him.”
Columbia gasped. “You mean-”
Janet sighed, clutching the sleeve of her dress like it could protect her. “I have a feeling.”
“It's not just him.” Columbia reassured her. “He's a good guy… Frank just does that sort of thing to people.”
“I still feel ashamed he did it to me…”
Columbia smirked, glancing between Janet and Rocky. “He's not the only one.”
“I- I was in the moment! I was stressed, and he- oh… oh, I'm terrible, aren't I?” Janet looked down shamefully.
“Not in this castle, you aren't.” Columbia rested a gentle hand on Janet’s shoulder, and they shared a smile for a few moments before Columbia suddenly broke off. “Come on, let's get the boys. I don't think Magenta will appreciate trying to cook with whatever Frank assumes is food.”
“We could just go out to eat.” Janet agreed.
“Then let's go.”
“Wait.” Janet stopped her to grab a bottle of wine. She hesitated and grabbed two.
“Two? Damn, Weiss, you have no shame.”
“Shut up. Something tells me we're gonna need them.” Janet snapped, handing Columbia a bottle and helping Rocky off the ground. They were about to head out of the aisle when a security guard approached them.
“Is one of you… er… Columbia? Am I reading that right?” He asked.
“Yes.” Columbia stepped forward.
“Your friend is outside. And… Janet, I presume? So is your fiance.” He said promptly. As he walked away, Janet heard him mumble “Fucking weirdos”.
“I wonder what they did to get kicked out?” Janet asked worriedly.
“Knowing Frank? I'm surprised it took him this long to get kicked out. But Brad?” Columbia scoffed.
The two walked cautiously to the front with Rocky in tow, and found Frank standing there angrily, ranting to Brad.
“And I didn’t even do anything wrong! It's their fault for making the robot so stupid.” Frank scoffed.
“Exactly! Plus, if they didn't want it to be punchable-”
“What did you do?” Janet asked angrily.
“Um… listen, Janet-” Brad started.
“He punched the storekeeper robot thing.” Frank smirked.
“HE WHAT?!” Janet shrieked. Columbia just sighed and opened the wine- which they had not paid for- and took a long drink of it.
“It wouldn't move so Frank could get the bread!” Brad protested. “And it kept beeping.”
“I already called Magenta from the phone in the store.” Frank sighed. “She is on her way.”
“CORRECTION, SHE'S ALREADY HERE!” Magenta yelled from the car, driving up to the curb. “Get in, before we get in more trouble.”
Everyone nodded and promptly got in the car, not even buckling in before Magenta sped off.
Brad gasped when he saw what Columbia was holding. “Did you pay for that wine?!”
“Nope.” Columbia smirked, offering some to Janet. Janet wordlessly took it and downed half the bottle, while Columbia turned to Magenta. “Can you take us to McDonald’s, please?”
“Can-” Frank protested.
“Rocky can eat it.” Columbia snapped back.
Magenta sighed. “You owe me,” she scoffed as she turned the car around.
“Thank you.” Columbia smiled back.
...
“Rocky, no, the toy isn't food.” Frank scolded, taking the small Hello Kitty toy away from him.
“Why do they put those in the boxes?” Magenta asked, taking a sip of her coffee. “Also, this coffee is shit.”
“That's kinda the point of the place.” Brad sighed. “Rocky, no, don't eat the- you eat the chicken nuggets! These things!”
“I'll take them if he doesn't want them.” Columbia smirked, eating her own and taking a sip of her Dr. Pepper.
“Eat your own food.” Frank replied, hesitantly taking a bite of his hot fudge sundae.
“Says the one who's barely eaten anything.”
“I'm surprised they let us bring the alcohol in here.” Janet added.
“I worked here when I was sixteen. They don't pay you enough to care.” Columbia explained.
“Thanks for paying for all this, Brad.” Janet smiled.
“Wait, I paid for this? I thought Columbia did!” Brad sat up.
“I did! With your credit card.” Columbia laughed, passing the card back. “You can have this back- I doubt it'll be very useful after this, though.”
Janet Weis: Oh god, I wish we had never come to this horrible place. I wish we weren’t surronded by bizarros and their leader Transexual Tim Curry. Oh where oh where is my Brad, what have they done to him!!
What Transexual Tim Curry did to Brad:
“Help me, mommy.. I’ll be good, you’ll see.”
i finally finished that paper i was working on and i finished my assignment for work so im doing what i planned on doing for my birthday and eating microwave popcorn while watching rocky horror. 10/10 birthday would recommend. ill probably work on fanfic afterwards because i am solidly NOT tired at all so that’s fun
my best friend (@jayjamjary) drew me a little birthday present and they said i could post it here because i knew all of you would enjoy it so here it is
guess who’s birthday it is
(its mine)