What are pants? NOT tights!

Mr. Jenkins exposes the worst fashion crime of this generation!

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Mr. Jenkins would like you to know that shoulder bags, be they rucksacks, knapsacks or even backpacks, do not magically turn tights into pants. They remain tights, which are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins in not the only one who has noticed this woman is wearing tights and that they are not pants!

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It is shameful enough to have parking tickets to pay, but Mr. Jenkins is aghast that shame is compounded by wearing tights to do so, as tights are not pants!

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Mr. Jenkins believes that only fresh, ripe produce should be seen to be round, firm and green in the local grocery store and not a woman wearing tights, as tights are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins is trying to spread awareness that tights shaped liked shorts are niether shorts nor pants but are in fact tights, however small they might be, and tights, as Mr. Jenkins is quick to point out, are not pants. Or even shorts.

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Trying to hide in the corner will not hide the fact that the tights you are wearing are not pants.

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It is Mr. Jenkins great hope that the larger the bag the greater the possibility there may be pants within because the tights she is wearing are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins is not sure that construction worker has any pants for you, but you should ask him, because the tights you are wearing are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins suspects that clicking her heels three times would take right home where she has her pants, because she is not wearing any pants, only tights, which are not pants.

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While tights may look like a pair capri pants, Mr. Jenkins assures you they are not. They are tights, and tights are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins imagines the text to read, "Help! I'm on the corner and I forgot my pants! All I have on are my tights, which are not pants!"

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Mr. Jenkins notes that vertical stripes are slimming, but not so slimming they can turn tights into pants.

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Running pants are only running pants when you are running. When you are standing with your recent shop purchases they are not running pants but tights. And tights are not pants. So saith Mr. Jenkins.

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Mr. Jenkins cautions that no bag, no matter how large and distracting, will hide the fact you are wearing tights, which are not pants.

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Perhaps, hopes Mr. Jenkins, there are pants hidden in the hoodie pouch because those tights, which are not pants, are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins sure hopes that there are pants in that freezer case beside the orange juice because those tights, as floral as they are, are not pants.

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Mr. Jenkins cautions you to not be fooled into thinking jeggings, or leggings with a denim jean print, are pants. Jeggings are leggings and leggings are tights. And tights are not pants.